“
I swore I'd never become some lord's brainless arm ornament and political host, but I've become far worse. I'm a glorified housekeeper and sperm donor.
-from the journal of Payton Marcus Townsend.
”
”
J.L. Langley (The Englor Affair (Sci-Regency, #2))
“
I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn't have a sense of humor. He never has anything funny in his stories.
”
”
Elmore Leonard
“
It is funny how no one seems to want my always excellent advice.
”
”
Anne Lamott (Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son's First Son)
“
I wanted Ole Miss to feel special, but mostly I felt that the Ole Miss crowd looked at me like I was just white trash from a town full of trailers.… All was not lost. I saw the movie All The President’s Men, mostly because Robert Redford was the star. The fast-paced world of the Washington Post…captivated me. Sitting in a dark theater that afternoon, I fell in love with the idea of becoming a reporter. That was the movie that clinched my plan to major in journalism and political science…. I'd started Ole Miss as a Lady Rebel but left more rebellious than ladylike.
”
”
Karen Hinton (Penis Politics: A Memoir of Women, Men and Power)
“
Because zombies can’t go out into the sun, most of them tend to be afraid of anything that can go into the sun and live to tell the tale.
”
”
M.C. Steve
“
From: Beth Fremont
To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder
Sent: Thurs, 09/30/1999 3:42 PM
Subject: If you were Superman …
… and you could choose any alter ego you wanted, why the hell would you choose to spend your Clark Kent hours — which already suck because you have to wear glasses and you can’t fly — at a newspaper? Why not pose as a wealthy playboy like Batman? Or the leader of a small but important nation like Black Panther? Why would you choose to spend your days on deadline, making crap money, dealing with terminally crabby editors?
”
”
Rainbow Rowell (Attachments)
“
Advice to explorers everywhere: if you would like to recieve due credit for your discoveries, keep a detailed account of your journeys as Columbus did. On Septemeber 28, 1492, after four weeks at sea, he writes: Dear diary...I means journal. Yes, dear journal. That's what I meant to say. Whew. Anyway, we have yet to discover America, and the crew has become increasingly rebellious. I have decided to turn back if we have not spotted it by Columbus Day. Will write again later if not killed by crew. P.S. Last night's buffet was fabulous, the ice sculptures magnificent.
”
”
Cuthbert Soup (Another Whole Nother Story (A Whole Nother Story))
“
A funny word. E-lec-tion. Say it very slowly and it sounds disgusting. But if you say it just fast enough it almost sounds real, like it might even be legitimate
”
”
Brandt Legg (The Last Librarian (The Justar Journal #1))
“
We have had three appalling weeks, the kind one hardly believes while one is going through it. And afterwards, as now, it seems quite unbelievable—except for the inexplicable weariness. Written down it sounds merely funny.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Against Wind and Tide: Letters and Journals, 1947-1986)
“
It seems that along the Rhine front the French broadcast some recordings which the Germans say constituted a personal insult to the Führer. “The French did not realize,” says the DNB with that complete lack of humour which makes the Germans so funny,
”
”
William L. Shirer (Berlin Diary: The Journal of a Foreign Correspondent 1934-41)
“
For love: a poet. For romance: a journalist.
”
”
W.H. Auden
“
Falco wagged her journal in front of her. "This is yours, I presume." A slow smile spread across his face. "Let's find out exactly what you've been doing, shall we?"
"Give it back!" Cass reached for the journal, but Falco easily dodged her. He opened the leather-bound book to a random page and cleared his throat. Clutching a hand to his chest, he pretended to read aloud in a high-pitched voice. "Oh, how I love the way his fingers explore my soft flesh. The way his eyes see into my very soul."
This time, Cass managed to snatch the book out of his hands. "That is not what it says."
"I guess that means you won't be keeping me warm tonight?
”
”
Fiona Paul (Venom (Secrets of the Eternal Rose, #1))
“
It seems I’ve gone and gotten myself shot.
”
”
Ransom Riggs (Miss Peregrine's Journal for Peculiar Children (Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children))
“
I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. That is, my feet are in it; the rest of me is on the draining-board, which I have padded with our dog's blanket and the tea-cosy. I can't say that I am really comfortable, and there is a depressing smell of carbolic soap, but this is the only part of the kitchen where there is any daylight left. And I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring - I wrote my very best poem while sitting on the hen-house. Though even that isn't a very good poem. I have decided my best poetry is so bad that I mustn't write any more of it.
Drips from the roof are plopping into the water-butt by the back door. The view through the windows above the sink is excessively drear. Beyond the dank garden in the courtyard are the ruined walls on the edge of the moat. Beyond the moat, the boggy ploughed fields stretch to the leaden sky. I tell myself that all the rain we have had lately is good for nature, and that at any moment spring will surge on us. I try to see leaves on the trees and the courtyard filled with sunlight. Unfortunately, the more my mind's eye sees green and gold, the more drained of all colour does the twilight seem.
It is comforting to look away from the windows and towards the kitchen fire, near which my sister Rose is ironing - though she obviously can't see properly, and it will be a pity if she scorches her only nightgown. (I have two, but one is minus its behind.) Rose looks particularly fetching by firelight because she is a pinkish person; her skin has a pink glow and her hair is pinkish gold, very light and feathery. Although I am rather used to her I know she is a beauty. She is nearly twenty-one and very bitter with life. I am seventeen, look younger, feel older. I am no beauty but I have a neatish face.
I have just remarked to Rose that our situation is really rather romantic - two girls in this strange and lonely house. She replied that she saw nothing romantic about being shut up in a crumbling ruin surrounded by a sea of mud. I must admit that our home is an unreasonable place to live in. Yet I love it. The house itself was built in the time of Charles II, but it was grafted on to a fourteenth-century castle that had been damaged by Cromwell. The whole of our east wall was part of the castle; there are two round towers in it. The gatehouse is intact and a stretch of the old walls at their full height joins it to the house. And Belmotte Tower, all that remains of an even older castle, still stands on its mound close by. But I won't attempt to describe our peculiar home fully until I can see more time ahead of me than I do now.
I am writing this journal partly to practise my newly acquired speed-writing and partly to teach myself how to write a novel - I intend to capture all our characters and put in conversations. It ought to be good for my style to dash along without much thought, as up to now my stories have been very stiff and self-conscious. The only time father obliged me by reading one of them, he said I combined stateliness with a desperate effort to be funny. He told me to relax and let the words flow out of me.
”
”
Dodie Smith (I Capture the Castle)
“
Anna, you miss him.”
“All the time. I still can’t believe he’s gone.” The words come out in a whoosh, tasting funny in my mouth. No matter how many times I say them, they still feel like a garbled, impossible language. My chest hurts, and I have to hold my breath to keep from inhaling a deep sob.
“He was more than your best friend.”
I nod absently, forgetting myself for a moment, forgetting that I’m talking to Jayne and not my journal.
“I – I mean, he was like a brother to me. You know, like Frankie. Well, she’s the sister. I mean–”
Jayne reaches for my hands across the table, shaking her head softly. “Sweetheart, when you say Matt’s name, you have the same look in your eyes that he’d get whenever he’d say yours.
”
”
Sarah Ockler (Twenty Boy Summer)
“
We were always eating expired things. Milk, bread, biscuits, cake. We forgot about them as they sat around the house and just as they had gone bad, we put them in our mouths. Chocolates I brought back with me from Australia, cheeses in last year's Christmas hamper, juice from the last time someone decided to go grocery shopping. We didn't always realize they tasted funny – not everything curdles and a two-month-old orange can be just as sweet. When we did, it was usually too late. Sometimes it wasn't. We finished what we had started anyway.
”
”
Cheryl Julia Lee (We Were Always Eating Expired Things)
“
Productivity is now sold as a lifestyle. People hustle away and grind for the sake of grinding. New calendars. New dry erase markers. New journals. But when they write in advanced journals, they write of goals and next steps— never of thoughts and secrets. When they write of goals, their goals are to have more goals. So you abandon the empty castle that is productivity and enter the little cottage of your funny heart.
”
”
Kristian Ventura (The Goodbye Song)
“
ON THE A TRAIN
There were no seats to be had on the A train last night, but I had a good grip on the pole at the end of one of the seats and I was reading the beauty column of the Journal-American, which the man next to me was holding up in front of him. All of a sudden I felt a tap on my arm, and I looked down and there was a man beginning to stand up from the seat where he was sitting. "Would you like to sit down?" he said. Well, I said the first thing that came into my head, I was so surprised and pleased to be offered a seat in the subway. "Oh, thank you very much," I said, "but I am getting out at the next station." He sat back and that was that, but I felt all set up and I thought what a nice man he must be and I wondered what his wife was like and I thought how lucky she was to have such a polite husband, and then all of a sudden I realized that I wasn't getting out at the next station at all but the one after that, and I felt perfectly terrible. I decided to get out at the next station anyway, but then I thought, If I get out at the next station and wait around for the next train I'll miss my bus and they only go every hour and that will be silly. So I decided to brazen it out as best I could, and when the train was slowing up at the next station I stared at the man until I caught his eye and then I said, "I just remembered this isn't my station after all." Then I thought he would think I was asking him to stand up and give me his seat, so I said, "But I still don't want to sit down, because I'm getting off at the next station." I showed him by my expression that I thought it was all rather funny, and he smiled, more or less, and nodded, and lifted his hat and put it back on his head again and looked away. He was one of those small, rather glum or sad men who always look off into the distance after they have finished what they are saying, when they speak. I felt quite proud of my strong-mindedness at not getting off the train and missing my bus simply because of the fear of a little embarrassment, but just as the train was shutting its doors I peered out and there it was, 168th Street. "Oh dear!" I said. "That was my station and now I have missed the bus!" I was fit to be fled, and I had spoken quite loudly, and I felt extremely foolish, and I looked down, and the man who had offered me his seat was partly looking at me, and I said, "Now, isn't that silly? That was my station. A Hundred and Sixty-eighth Street is where I'm supposed to get off." I couldn't help laughing, it was all so awful, and he looked away, and the train fidgeted along to the next station, and I got off as quickly as I possibly could and tore over to the downtown platform and got a local to 168th, but of course I had missed my bus by a minute, or maybe two minutes. I felt very much at a loose end wandering around 168th Street, and I finally went into a rudely appointed but friendly bar and had a martini, warm but very soothing, which cost me only fifty cents. While I was sipping it, trying to make it last to exactly the moment that would get me a good place in the bus queue without having to stand too long in the cold, I wondered what I should have done about that man in the subway. After all, if I had taken his seat I probably would have got out at 168th Street, which would have meant that I would hardly have been sitting down before I would have been getting up again, and that would have seemed odd. And rather grasping of me. And he wouldn't have got his seat back, because some other grasping person would have slipped into it ahead of him when I got up. He seemed a retiring sort of man, not pushy at all. I hesitate to think of how he must have regretted offering me his seat. Sometimes it is very hard to know the right thing to do.
”
”
Maeve Brennan
“
Colin was silent for a long moment. It hadn’t ever occurred to him that he enjoyed his writing; it was just something he did.
He did it because he couldn’t imagine not doing it. How could he travel to foreign lands and not keep a record of what he saw, what he experienced, and perhaps most importantly, what he felt?
But when he thought back, he realized that he felt a strange rush of satisfaction whenever he wrote a phrase that was exactly right, a sentence that was particularly true. He distinctly remembered the moment he’d written the passage Penelope had read. He’d been sitting on the beach at dusk, the sun still warm on his skin, the sand somehow rough and smooth at the same time under his bare feet. It had been a heavenly moment—full of that warm, lazy feeling one can truly only experience in the dead of summer (or on the perfect beaches of the Mediterranean), and he’d been trying to think of the exact right way to describe the water.
He’d sat there for ages—surely a full half an hour—his pen poised above the paper of his journal, waiting for inspiration. And then suddenly he’d realized the temperature was precisely that of slightly old bathwater, and his face had broken into a wide, delighted smile.
Yes, he enjoyed writing. Funny how he’d never realized it before.
”
”
Julia Quinn (Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Bridgertons, #4))
“
There’s more, Anna. When we first got to California,” she says, “you asked me if I remembered your birthday party.” I nod, picking at a thread on her comforter. “I did remember. Matt was acting like such a space cadet that night after we got home – like he was floating. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out, but of all the things that he could have been thinking about, you were the last – I mean, my mind just didn’t even go there. You were like our sister.”
“But I–”
“Wait – let me get this out.” She looks at me hard, her broken wing eyebrow trembling to keep the tears back. “After I brushed my teeth, I walked into his room. He was sitting on his bed, playing with that blue glass necklace he always wore, a big smile on his face. Remember the necklace?”
The necklace.
“Of course.”
“I asked him what was so funny. He jumped a little, not knowing I’d been watching him smile there like a goofy little kid. He said it was nothing – just that he had fun at the party. And I believed him, all the way up until the day I read your journal. That’s when it all made sense. All the times he’d ask me about who you liked at school, or who wanted to take you to whatever dance.”
She’s quiet as I digest her story, putting the pieces together to form a complete whole from the missing half that’s haunted me since that night – how did he really feel about me? Was it just one stupid moment, perpetuated a little too long, only to be forgotten as quickly as it came? As soon as he went away to school?
“I was in love with him forever – since I was, like, ten,” I confess.
“Yeah,” she says. “You both were in love. I know that now. We were all so close, you know? I just didn’t see it coming until I read your – I’m sorry, Anna.”
I close my eyes, fighting back the image of her hand on my journal. “It’s okay.
”
”
Sarah Ockler (Twenty Boy Summer)
“
Looking back from a safe distance on those long days spent alone, I can just about frame it as a funny anecdote, but the reality was far more painful. I recently found my journal from that time and I had written, ‘I’m so lonely that I actually think about dying.’
Not so funny.
I wasn’t suicidal. I’ve never self-harmed. I was still going to work, eating food, getting through the day. There are a lot of people who have felt far worse. But still, I was inside my own head all day, every day, and I went days without feeling like a single interaction made me feel seen or understood. There were moments when I felt this darkness, this stillness from being so totally alone, descend. It was a feeling that I didn’t know how to shake; when it seized me, I wanted it to go away so much that when I imagined drifting off to sleep and never waking up again just to escape it, I felt calm.
I remember it happening most often when I’d wake up on a Saturday morning, the full weekend stretching out ahead of me, no plans, no one to see, no one waiting for me. Loneliness seemed to hit me hardest when I felt aimless, not gripped by any initiative or purpose. It also struck hard because I lived abroad, away from close friends or family.
These days, a weekend with no plans is my dream scenario. There are weekends in London that I set aside for this very purpose and they bring me great joy. But life is different when it is fundamentally lonely.
During that spell in Beijing, I made an effort to make friends at work. I asked people to dinner. I moved to a new flat, waved (an arm’s-length) goodbye to Louis and found a new roommate, a gregarious Irishman, who ushered me into his friendship group. I had to work hard to dispel it, and on some days it felt like an uphill battle that I might not win, but eventually it worked. The loneliness abated.
It’s taken me a long time to really believe, to know, that loneliness is circumstantial. We move to a new city. We start a new job. We travel alone. Our families move away. We don’t know how to connect with loved ones any more. We lose touch with friends. It is not a damning indictment of how lovable we are.
”
”
Jessica Pan (Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously)
“
Did I interrupt something? A sordid little tryst, perhaps?”
“You must be joking.” Cass was in no mood for humor. Besides, the closest she’d ever been to a tryst was when he’d fallen on top of her in the street earlier that day.
“Always. Sadly, you don’t seem like the type of girl who would be up for a midnight…encounter.” Falco’s eyes drifted downward. “Too bad.”
Cass realized her cloak had fallen open, exposing the white nightgown she wore underneath. She pulled the velvet fabric tight around her body. Then the shrubbery rippled once more with unfamiliar movement. Cass’s heart froze.
“We should get out of here,” she said. “It’s not safe.”
“Not safe?” Falco raised an eyebrow. “Why? Because it’s dark and you might accidentally trip over your own two feet? I feel quite safe. In fact, I was just settling in to do some reading.”
Cass furrowed her brow. “Reading?”
Falco wagged her journal in front of her. “This is yours, I presume.” A slow smile spread across his face. “Let’s find out exactly what you’ve been doing, shall we?”
“Give it back!” Cass reached for the journal, but Falco easily dodged her. He opened the leather-bound book to a random page and cleared his throat. Clutching a hand to his chest, he pretended to read aloud in a high-pitched voice. “Oh, how I love the way his fingers explore my soft flesh. The way his eyes see into my very soul.”
This time, Cass managed to snatch the book out of his hands. “That is not what it says.”
“I guess that means you won’t be keeping me warm tonight?” Falco quirked an eyebrow. Before she could muster up a response, he laughed. “Then again, the accommodations probably wouldn’t meet your standards. You’ve probably never slept on anything but the finest satins, have you?”
Cass hoped the darkness camouflaged her scarlet cheeks. Who was this boy to talk to her the way he did? “Is that why you’re here? Looking for a date?” Cass gestured toward a row of pointed headstones. “I do believe you’re in luck. I see some ladies who won’t be able to refuse you.” The words flew out of her mouth before she could rethink them.
“Funny. And correct. Sort of. I was actually just looking for a place to get a little rest.” For a second, the smile dropped from his face, and an expression passed across it that Cass couldn’t identify.
“Sleep in a graveyard?” Cass frowned. “You can’t be serious.
”
”
Fiona Paul (Venom (Secrets of the Eternal Rose, #1))
“
The Things They Carried has sold over two million copies internationally, won numerous awards, and is an English classroom staple. Isabel Allende was the first writer to hold me inside a sentence, rapt and wondrous. It's no surprise that her most transformative writing springs from personal anguish. Her first book, The House of the Spirits, began as a letter to her dying grandfather whom she could not reach in time. Eva Luna, one of my favorite novels, is about an orphan girl who uses her storytelling gift to survive and thrive amid trauma, and Allende refers to the healing power of writing in many of her interviews. Allende's books have sold over fifty-six million copies, been translated into thirty languages, and been made into successful plays and movies. Such is the power of mining your deep. Jeanette Winterson acknowledges that her novel Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit is her own story of growing up gay in a fundamentalist Christian household in the 1950s. She wrote it to create psychic space from the trauma. In her memoir, she writes of Oranges, “I wrote a story I could live with. The other one was too painful. I could not survive it.” Sherman Alexie, who grew up in poverty on an Indian reservation that as a child he never dreamed he could leave, does something similar in his young adult novel, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian, named one of the “Best Books of 2007” by School Library Journal. He has said that fictionalizing life is so satisfying because he can spin the story better than real life did. Nora Ephron's roman à clef Heartburn is a sharply funny, fictionalized account of Ephron's own marriage to Carl Bernstein. She couldn't control his cheating during her pregnancy or the subsequent dissolution of their marriage, but through the novelization of her experience, she got to revise the ending of that particular story. In Heartburn, Rachel, the character based on Ephron, is asked
”
”
Jessica Lourey (Rewrite Your Life: Discover Your Truth Through the Healing Power of Fiction)
“
Are you writing in your diary?” Even through the whisper I can tell he’s laughing.
“No.” I feel in the dark for my backpack and cram the journal inside.
“Please. Just admit you were drawing hearts around someone’s name.”
“I didn’t even do that in junior high,” I say, my high-pitched whisper threatening to break into full voice.
“Like I believe that.” He whisper-laughs again.
A mattress spring creaks and I can hear movement near the head of his bed. A second later I can just make out Darren’s outline as he folds a pillow in half and lies on his side, facing me. I grab my own pillow and mirror him. Nina’s snoring deepens and Tate rolls over. I hold my head perfectly still and sense Darren do the same. It feels like we’re about to get caught breaking some kind of rule, lying on our beds the wrong direction.
We’re quiet for so long, I’m sure Darren’s fallen back to sleep. I let my eyes close and start counting my toes again.
“I keep a journal too.” His whisper seems much closer than I expected.
In the soft light from above, I can see the glisten of his eyes looking right at me.
I swallow and my throat makes an embarrassingly loud gurgling noise. “Is it full of hearts?” I manage to ask.
The corner of his mouth pulls up. “That’s pretty much all I put in there. Hearts and flowers and more hearts.”
My bed shakes from the chuckle I’m containing. “Hey, as long as it’s not poetry.”
“What’s wrong with poetry?”
“Nothing.” I bite my lip, worried I offended him. “You write poems?”
“Sure. I’ve won awards for it.”
“Oh. Wow. That’s…cool,” I manage, reluctant to admit that poetry’s one of those things I don’t understand. At all. And people who do “get” it enough to write their own make me nervous with their intellectual prowess.
“Kiddiiiiing,” he draws out in a gravelly breath.
“Make up your mind,” I tease, secretly hoping he really is kidding. “Do you or don’t you?”
Eyes completely adjusted now, I can see him raise his hand and cross his fingers. “Don’t. Scout’s honor.”
“Funny,” I say, snatching his hand and yanking it down. “Did you already forget how to promise?” I worm my pinkie around his and squeeze.
He squeezes back and lowers our joined hands to the bed. My heartbeat is strong in my ears. Do I pull away first? Do I wait for him to? What if he doesn’t? What if we fall asleep like this?
”
”
Kristin Rae (Wish You Were Italian (If Only . . . #2))
“
Late, going home, I pass a group of squatting high schoolers. One of the boys, obviously seeking to impress the girls, says that foreigners are funny (okashii no yo). The sight of me has prompted the remark and he is, like everyone else, unaware that some foreigners speak Japanese. It is thus not a provocative remark, but an observation he might have made of a passing dog, in reference to dogs in general.
I am not offended by the remark (it is scarcely personal), but I am interested that the remark was made at all. He made it because he wanted to assert their feeling of being in a group. By defining those outside this group as funny, he strengthened their group feeling of not being funny. This made everyone feel good. And for so long as a feel-good grouping is necessary, we will have xenophobia, racism, and all the rest. The only solution is to dissolve the pleasures of groupery.
Had I become angry, felt slighted, outraged, etc., I would have become as culpable as they, for I would have brought my own feelings of group (as a foreigner) to strive against theirs.
”
”
Donald Richie (The Japan Journals: 1947-2004)
“
It’s funny that when you decide you want to do creative work—journalism or music or films or whatever—nobody tells you how much of your time you’ll be spending simply hunting for something worth writing about.
”
”
John Biewen (Reality Radio: Telling True Stories in Sound (Documentary Arts and Culture, Published in association with the Center for Documentary Studies at Duke University))
“
I don't want you getting too cold, ' he added, his breath warm against my temple. He was so much taller, even sitting as straight as I was, my head still didn't reach his chin. 'I feel like that's an important part of my duty as your personal Royal Guard.'
'Is that what you're doing right now? Protecting me from the cold by pulling me into your lap?'
'Exactly.' His hand was against my side, the weight like a brand.
I stared at what I thought might be his throat. 'This is incredibly inappropriate.'
'More inappropriate than reading a dirty journal?'
'Yes,' I insisted, heat creeping into my face.
'No.' His deep chuckle rumbled through me. 'I can't even lie. This is inappropriate.'
'Then why?'
'Why?' His chin grazed the top of my head. 'Because I wanted to.'
I blinked once and then twice. 'And what if I didn't want to?'
Another chuckle sent an acute shiver through me. 'Princess, I'm confident that if you didn't want me to do something, I'd be lying flat on my back with a dagger at my throat before I even took my next breath. Even if you can't see an inch in front of you.
”
”
Jennifer L. Armentrout (From Blood and Ash (Blood and Ash, #1))
“
the white tents.
17. Two views of The Wild West in Paris, igo5.
Colonel Cody, a Hawkeye by birth, is personally lionized by the Parisians, and his unique exhibition, so full of historical and dramatic interest, made a wonderful impression upon the susceptible French public.
The twenty lessons I took in French, at the Berlitz School of Languages, London, only gave me a faint idea of what the language was like, but as I was required to make my lectures and announcements in French, I had my speeches translated, and was coached in their delivery by Monsieur Corthesy, editeur, le journal de Londres. Well, I got along pretty fair, considering that I did not know the meaning of half the words I was saying. Anyway it amused them, so I was satisfied. I honestly believe that more people came in the side show in Paris to hear and laugh at my "rotten" French than anything else, and when I found that a certain word or expression excited their risibilities, I never changed it. I can look back now and see where some of my own literal translations were very funny.
Colonel Cody's exhibition is unique in many ways, and might justly be termed a polyglot school, no less than twelve distinct languages being spoken in the camp, viz.: Japanese, Russian, French, Arabic, Greek, Hungarian, German, Italian, Spanish, Holland, Flemish, Chinese, Sioux and English. Being in such close contact every day, we were bound to get some idea of each other's tongue, and all acquire a fair idea of English. Colonel Cody is, therefore, entitled to considerable credit for disseminating English, and thus preserving the entente cordiale between nations.
18. Entrance to the Wild West, Champs de Mars, Paris, Igo5.
The first place of public interest that we visited in Paris was the Jardin des Plantes (botanical and zoological garden) and le Musee d'Histoire Naturelle. The zoological collection would suffer in comparison with several in America I might mention, but the Natural History Museum is very complete, and is, to my notion, the most artistically arranged of any museum I have visited.
Le Palais du Trocadero, which was in sight of our grounds and facing the
”
”
Charles Eldridge Griffin (Four Years in Europe with Buffalo Bill)
“
List your ten favorite comedians and humorists, and search for jokes, tweets, or quotes by each of these individuals. After you amass twenty jokes, identify the subject or target of the joke, and explain why you think the joke is funny. This exercise will help you become aware of the format of successful jokes and provide you with insight into your own comedic preferences. Collect ten to fifteen cartoons or comics. As you did with the jokes, identify the target of the humor and describe why the cartoon is funny to you. You may find it helpful to continue building a file of jokes and cartoons that appeal to you. In addition to building a joke and cartoon file, you’ll need to find new material to use as the building blocks for your humor writing. Most professional humor writers begin each day by reading a newspaper, watching news on TV, and/or surfing the Internet for incidents and situations that might provide joke material. As you read this book and complete the exercises at the end of each chapter, form a daily habit of recording odd and funny news events. Everyday life is the main source for humor, so you need to keep some type of personal humor journal. To facilitate psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud had patients complete a dream diary, and he encouraged them to associate freely during therapy. To be a successful writer and to tap into the full potential of your comic persona, you should follow an analogous approach. Record everyday events, ideas, or observations that you find funny, and do your journaling without any form of censorship. The items you list are not intended to be funny, but to serve as starting points for writing humor.
”
”
Mark Shatz (Comedy Writing Secrets: The Best-Selling Guide to Writing Funny and Getting Paid for It)
“
A funny word. E-lec-tion. Say it very slowly and it sounds disgusting. But if you say it just fast enough it almost sounds real, like it might even be legitimate.” “Torgon-off!
”
”
Brandt Legg (The Last Librarian (The Justar Journal #1))
“
The funny thing about social media is that the general principle is that nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd,” says Du Linh Tu, director of the digital media program at Columbia Journalism School.
”
”
Anonymous
“
Mina gave a fake laugh. “An old journal from high school. Thought it would be funny. Mostly it’s boring and juvenile, boys, dances, catty girl stuff.” Mina had never gone to high school. Being called as a werewolf to hunt demons out of a camper at the age of ten left some social deficits. She’d based her lie on TV shows about teenagers. She didn’t believe they were entirely accurate, but considering how similar they all were there had to have some truth behind them.
”
”
Kate Whitaker (Hunting (Uncommon Animals, #2))
“
everything is negotiable. everything.
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Kay M. Rutherford (And I Don't Mean Christmas : A Children's Photo Journal)
“
After the miscarriage I was surrounded by dead-baby flowers, dead-baby books, and lots of boxes of dead-baby tea. I felt like I was drowning in a dead-baby sea. My mother didn’t know how to help but knew that I needed her. She sent me a soft bathrobe and a teapot, and I wept for hours on the phone with her. Mostly, she listened as I sorted through all my thoughts and feelings. If I’m angry or upset about something, or even if I’m happy about something, it isn’t real until I articulate it. I need a narrative. I guess that’s something Jeff and I share. We both need a story to fit into. The Burton ability to turn misfortune into narrative is something I’m grateful I was taught. It helps me think, Well, okay, that’s just a funny story. You should hear my father talking about his mother and those damn forsythia bushes.
My sisters-in-law sent me lovely, heartfelt packages. Christina sent me teas and a journal and a letter I cherish. She included Cheryl Strayed’s book Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar. Christina is a mother. I felt like she understood the toll this sadness was taking on me, and she encouraged me to practice self-care. Jess gave me the book Reveal: A Secret Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked by Meggan Watterson and some other books about the divine feminine. She knew that there was nothing she could say, but everything she wanted to articulate was in those books. Jess has always had an almost psychic ability to understand my inner voice. She is quiet and attuned to what people are really saying rather than what they present to the world. I knew her book choices were deliberate, but I couldn’t read them for a while because they were dead-baby books.
If people weren’t giving me dead baby gifts, they wanted to tell me dead-baby stories. There’s nothing more frustrating than someone saying, “Well, welcome to the club. I’ve had twelve miscarriages." It seemed like there was an unspoken competition between members of this fucked up sorority. I quickly realized this is a much bigger club than I knew and that everyone had stories and advice. And as much as I appreciated it, I had to find my own way.
Tara gave me a book called Vessels: A Love Story, by Daniel Raeburn, about his and his wife’s experience of a number of miscarriages. His book helped because I couldn’t wrap my head around Jeff’s side of the story, and he certainly wasn’t telling it to me. He was out in the garage until dinnertime every day. He would come in, eat, help Gus shower, and then disappear for the rest of the night.
I often read social media posts from couples announcing, “Hey we miscarried but it brought us closer together." I think it’s fair to say that miscarriage did not bring Jeffrey and me closer together. We were living in the same space but leading parallel lives. To be honest, most of the time we weren’t even living in the same space.
That spring The Good Wife was canceled. We had banked on that being a job Jeff would do for a couple of years, one that would keep him in New York City. Then he landed Negan on The Walking Dead, and suddenly he would be all the way down in Georgia for the next three to five years.
We were never going to have another child. It had been so hard to get pregnant. I felt like I was pulling teeth trying to coordinate dates when Jeff would be around and I’d be ovulating. It felt like every conversation was about having a baby.
He’d ask, “What do you want for dinner?"
I’d say, “A baby."
“Hey, what do you want to do this weekend?"
I’d say, “Have a baby.
”
”
Hilarie Burton Morgan (The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock, and Big Life Lessons Down on Mischief Farm)
“
It's funny that people are afraid of being controlled by the government, but it's so easy for them to accept being controlled by pills.
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Patricia Krisztina (The #REDACTED# Journals: Thierry Reed (Adam's Legacies))
“
What are you talking about?” asked Julie. “Haven't you learned anything about who you are?”
“Oh, yes, I have,” I replied. “The problem is I'm an enigma wrapped in a California Roll of bull-shit.
”
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Robert G. Culp (Knight School: A Mystic Brats Novel (The Mystic Brat Journals #1))
“
Very well. I’m confident Papa told you about our missed connection aboard the Grimm vessel.”
“What’s a vessel?” Daphne asked.
“The layman calls it a boat,” Pinocchio explained.
“What’s a layman?” Daphne asked.
“Oh dear. The schools in this town are failing the youth,” Pinocchio said.
”
”
Michael Buckley (2018 The Sisters Grimm 9 Book Set & Bonus Journal! (Paperback Box Set))
“
It’s experience that has value, not possessions. We desire possessions because we think they’ll make us happier, but extensive research shows that once our basic survival needs are met, increased possessions don’t boost happiness levels. Meditation gives us the option of going straight to happiness and skipping the intermediate step of possessions. Acquiring them takes a lot of work and time, and all that effort can take us out of flow. We can spend a 40-year career amassing the possessions and money that we believe will give us happiness in retirement. Skipping the amassing stage and going straight to bliss gives us the end goal at the beginning. We win the gold medal before the contest even begins. Play doesn’t happen in an imaginary future in which our lives are perfect. Play happens now. We can become billionaires of happy experiences, the bank vaults of our minds overflowing with joy. That’s the only currency that counts. We’ve then acquired the end state without going through the intermediate state of getting stuff. We’ve loaded the dice, so that any and every roll produces bliss. Why not live like that every day? DEEPENING PRACTICES Here are practices you can do this week to integrate the information in this chapter into your life: Releasing the Suffering Self: That’s the theme of this chapter’s companion meditation. Use the link below to listen to this free 15-minute meditation each morning. Play the “Name Your Demon” Game: Give the selfing part of yourself a funny personal name, or ask it what its name is and write down the answer. One woman christened hers “Sticky.” Another, “Yuggo.” This exercise separates you from identification with the demon, and reminds you that you’re in control. Make the Subject-Object Shift: Whenever you find your mind wandering during meditation, simply thank your DMN by name (e.g., “Thanks, Yuggo!”) and then move your attention back to Focus. Mindfulness App: As a way of becoming mindful, enroll in the Harvard wandering mind study by using the link below to download the smartphone app. Time in Nature: Spend time in nature at least three times this week. Write those times in your calendar now, and treat them as seriously as you’d treat a doctor’s appointment. This exercise in self-care is a way of centering your mind and nurturing yourself. Journaling: In your new personal journal, write down the insights you have this week. Notice the way your mind works in meditation, and describe it in your journal. Just a few words are enough, like, “Had a hard time getting to a good place this morning. Lots of mind wandering, but I settled down in 15 minutes.
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Dawson Church (Bliss Brain: The Neuroscience of Remodeling Your Brain for Resilience, Creativity, and Joy)
“
It's so funny how many people today really believe themselves to be the most advanced people who ever lived, 'the arc of history bending towards justice' or whatever the quote is. To me, being attendant to history is a kind of resistance. It offers the possibility of alternative worlds, that there is a reality outside the one we are living in.
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”
Zadie Smith
“
Give me back the journal.'
'But, of course.' He offered it and I snatched it out of his hand quickly, holding it to my chest. 'All you had to do was ask.'
'What?' My mouth dropped open. 'I have been asking.'
'Sorry.' He didn't sound sorry at all. 'I have selective hearing.'
'You are... You are the worst.'
'You got your words wrong.' Striding past me, he patted the top of my head. I lashed out, narrowly missing him. 'You meant, I'm the best.'
'I got my words right.'
'Come. I need to get you back before something other than your own foolishness puts you at risk.' He stopped by the door. 'And don't forget your book. I expect a summary of each chapter tomorrow.
”
”
Jennifer L. Armentrout (From Blood and Ash (Blood and Ash, #1))
“
The ornament of time is a way of looking at life, the world, and the entire universe. It makes it easier for our minds to comprehend our connection to the other people and events that surround us. Speaking and thinking in terms of “one hundred years ago” is something we can understand; a linear look into the past, or our own age, or picturing the future as a date so many “years” ahead. But it is not much different from seeing the ocean as three meters deep because below that it is dark, or assuming that the stars visible in the night sky are all there is. Time is a funny thing because it is a pool we swim in rather than a path we walk.
”
”
Brandt Legg (The Justar Journal: The Last Librarian complete series)
“
No matter how highly placed they were, they were still officials, their views were well established and well known, famous. It could have rained frogs over Tan Son Nhut and they wouldn’t have been upset; Cam Ranh Bay could have dropped into the South China Sea and they would have found some way to make it sound good for you; the Bo Doi Division (Ho’s Own) could have marched by the American embassy and they would have characterized it as “desperate”—what did even the reporters closest to the Mission Council ever find to write about when they’d finished their interviews? (My own interview with General Westmoreland had been hopelessly awkward. He’d noticed that I was accredited to Esquire and asked me if I planned to be doing “humoristical” pieces. Beyond that, very little was really said. I came away feeling as though I’d just had a conversation with a man who touches a chair and says, “This is a chair,” points to a desk and says, “This is a desk.” I couldn’t think of anything to ask him, and the interview didn’t happen.) I honestly wanted to know what the form was for those interviews, but some of the reporters I’d ask would get very officious, saying something about “Command postures,” and look at me as though I was insane. It was probably the kind of look that I gave one of them when he asked me once what I found to talk about with the grunts all the time, expecting me to confide (I think) that I found them as boring as he did.
And just-like-in-the-movies, there were a lot of correspondents who did their work, met their deadlines, filled the most preposterous assignments the best they could and withdrew, watching the war and all its hideous secrets, earning their cynicism the hard way and turning their self-contempt back out again in laughter. If New York wanted to know how the troops felt about the assassination of Robert Kennedy, they’d go out and get it. (“Would you have voted for him?” “Yeah, he was a real good man, a real good man. He was, uh, young.” “Who will you vote for now?” “Wallace, I guess.”) They’d even gather troop reflections on the choice of Paris as the site of the peace talks. (“Paris? I dunno, sure, why not? I mean, they ain’t gonna hold ’em in Hanoi, now are they?”), but they’d know how funny that was, how wasteful, how profane. They knew that, no matter how honestly they worked, their best work would somehow be lost in the wash of news, all the facts, all the Vietnam stories. Conventional journalism could no more reveal this war than conventional firepower could win it, all it could do was take the most profound event of the American decade and turn it into a communications pudding, taking its most obvious, undeniable history and making it into a secret history. And the very best correspondents knew even more than that.
”
”
Michael Herr
“
Columbus’s journals abounded with references to them: on October 21, 1492, he saw “flocks of parrots that darken the sun.
”
”
Mira Tweti (Of Parrots and People: The Sometimes Funny, Always Fascinating, and Often Catastrophic Collision of Two Intelligent Species)
“
The finest pantomime, the deepest emotion, the richest and most poignant poetry were in Chaplin’s work. He could probably pantomime Bryce’s The American Commonwealth without ever blurring a syllable and make it paralyzingly funny into the bargain. At the end of City Lights the blind girl who has regained her sight, thanks to the Tramp, sees him for the first time. She has imagined and anticipated him as princely, to say the least; and it has never seriously occurred to him that he is inadequate. She recognizes who he must be by his shy, confident, shining joy as he comes silently toward her. And he recognizes himself, for the first time, through the terrible changes in her face. The camera just exchanges a few quiet close-ups of the emotions which shift and intensify in each face. It is enough to shrivel the heart to see, and it is the greatest piece of acting and the highest moment in movies.
”
”
James Agee (Film Writing and Selected Journalism)
“
Another significant study that was based on the practices of millennials rather than their claims was conducted by sociologists Leslie Picca and Joe Feagin.13 They asked 626 white college students at twenty-eight colleges across the United States to keep journals and record every instance of racial issues, racial images, and racial understanding that they observed or were part of for six to eight weeks. The students recorded more than seventy-five hundred accounts of blatantly racist comments and actions by the white people in their lives (friends, families, acquaintances, strangers). These accounts come from the generation most likely to claim they were taught to see everyone as equal—those who grew up in the age of color-blind ideology after the civil rights movement. Picca and Feagin’s study provides empirical evidence that racism continues to be explicitly expressed by whites, even those who are young and profess to be progressive. Consider these examples from their study: “As I sit in a room with a bunch of frat guys, Phil walks in chanting ‘rotchie, rotchie, rotchie!!’ I ask . . . what that term means and I am answered with a giggle and a quick ‘it’s slang for nigger, like niggerotchie.’ . . . ” [Eileen] “Robby was there telling a joke. . . . He glanced to see if anyone was around. He starts, ‘A black man, a Latin man, and a white guy find a magical lamp on the beach [racist joke ensues].’ I thought it was pretty funny and I wasn’t the only one. But, I’m glad he waited till no one was around to tell it. If you didn’t know Robby you might misunderstand.” [Ashley]14
”
”
Robin DiAngelo (White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism)
“
I'd had kisses. Rushed, wet, tasting of beer, right out in the open. I'd messed around with a funny sophomore in my anthropology seminar and a shy journalism grad student, and while these nights were satisfying in their way, the pleasure didn't last past 2:00 am.
I missed patience, the sweet, smoky taste of scotch. And the gut thrum of the forbidden.
Instead of obscuring my memory of him, the hours I spent with boys at school slid to the edges and collected around it, like a frame.
”
”
Amy Mason Doan (Summer Hours)
“
A few months ago, I found some of her journals."
"Oh, that's dope."
His voice lightened with happiness. "Yeah, she was really funny. And she loved cooking all types of food, but baking was her first love."
"Do you bake?"
August scoffed. "Me? No, I'm no good in the kitchen."
"Maybe you should. To honor her memory."
He paused for a second. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Maybe I should.
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Jamie Wesley (A Legend in the Baking (Sugar Blitz, #2))
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Verified FTX Accounts are cryptocurrency trading accounts that have undergone a thorough verification process. This ensures that the account holder’s identity is legitimate and meets all regulatory standards.
When you buy a verified account, you gain access to a secure platform for buying, selling, and trading various cryptocurrencies. The verification typically involves submitting identification documents like passports or driver’s licenses.
This step helps protect users from fraud and enhances the overall security of transactions on the exchange. A verified account often comes with additional features not available to unverified users, such as higher withdrawal limits and faster processing times.
These accounts provide peace of mind for traders looking to engage in serious cryptocurrency activities without worrying about compliance issues or potential scams.
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Verified FTX accounts offer a range of advantages for both casual traders and serious investors. First and foremost, they provide enhanced security. With full verification, users can rest assured that their personal information is protected against fraud.
Access to higher trading limits is another significant benefit. Verified accounts often unlock exclusive features and larger transaction amounts, allowing for more substantial investment opportunities.
Additionally, having a verified account means faster withdrawals and deposits. This efficiency can be crucial when navigating the volatile crypto market.
Moreover, verified users typically enjoy improved customer support services. This added layer of assistance ensures that any issues are resolved promptly, enabling smoother trading experiences.
Holding a verified account builds credibility within the cryptocurrency community. It signals trustworthiness to other traders and partners alike—an essential factor in today’s digital marketplace.
Is it safe to buy Verified FTX Accounts?
When considering whether it’s safe to buy Verified FTX Accounts, several factors come into play. First, the credibility of the source is crucial. Ensure that you purchase from reputable providers who have a proven track record.
Another important aspect is understanding how these accounts are verified.
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Many individuals and businesses are discovering that this investment opens doors to exclusive opportunities. Whether it’s for personal use or expanding a venture, the benefits are substantial.
It’s also essential to select a trusted provider when making this purchase. Choosing the right source guarantees the authenticity and reliability of your account.
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The platform supports various payment methods such as bank transfers, credit cards, and crypto exchanges. This versatility enhances its appeal for those looking to enhance their financial activities.
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In the dynamic world of cryptocurrency, having a verified account can make all the difference. If you’re looking to dive into trading or investing on Coinbase, you’ve likely considered the benefits of buying a verified account. With the rise in popularity of digital currencies and an increasing number of users flocking to platforms like Coinbase, it’s essential to ensure that your entry point is secure and legitimate. A verified account means peace of mind; it opens doors not just for personal transactions but also for businesses aiming to leverage the crypto wave. But what does it mean to buy verified Coinbase accounts? Let’s explore this intriguing topic and uncover everything you need to know about stepping into the crypto marketplace safely and effectively.
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These accounts are fully authenticated through Coinbase’s rigorous verification process. This means you gain immediate credibility in a market where trust is paramount. You won’t waste time navigating complex verification procedures or dealing with potential account freezes.
For businesses or individual traders looking to expand their crypto activities quickly, purchasing a verified account can be a game-changer. It allows for smooth transactions and instant integration into the trading community.
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Buying a verified Coinbase account opens the door to a world of opportunities. One significant benefit is immediate access to trading. Instead of navigating long verification processes, you can start buying and selling cryptocurrencies right away.
Security is another crucial advantage. A verified account provides peace of mind, knowing that your digital assets are safeguarded against fraud and scams. This level of protection is vital in today’s complex crypto landscape.
Additionally, owning a verified Coinbase account enhances credibility. Whether you’re an individual trader or running a business, having an established presence on this popular platform builds trust with potential partners and customers.
It allows for larger transaction limits. This flexibility enables both casual users and serious investors to engage more freely without constant restrictions hindering their activities.
Is It Safe to Buy Verified Coinbase Accounts?
When considering the purchase of verified Coinbase accounts, safety is a prime concern. The allure of instant access to cryptocurrency trading can be tempting, but it’s essential to tread carefully.
Buying from reputable sources significantly reduces the risk associated with such transactions. Always do your research before making any decision. Look for reviews and feedback from previous customers.
However, even verified accounts can pose a threat if obtained through questionable means. Fraudulent activities may lead to account bans or legal issues down the line.
Moreover, ensure that you are aware of Coinbase’s policies regarding account sharing and ownership transfer. Ignoring these guidelines could jeopardize your investment.
While buying verified Coinbase accounts can offer convenience, it’s vital to prioritize security and legitimacy at every step of the process.
What are Buy Verified Coinbase Accounts?
Buying verified Coinbase accounts refers to acquiring accounts that have successfully passed the stringent verification process established by Coinbase.
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In the ever-evolving world of cryptocurrency, having a reliable foundation is crucial. Whether you’re an enthusiast or a seasoned trader, one thing remains clear: verified blockchain accounts offer peace of mind and accessibility to wider opportunities. But where do you find these valuable assets? Look no further! Buying verified blockchain accounts can unlock doors to seamless transactions and enhanced trading capabilities. This blog post will guide you through why investing in a verified account is advantageous and essential for thriving in today’s digital marketplace. Let’s explore everything you need to know about acquiring these sought-after accounts!
Buy Verified Blockchain Accounts
Buy Verified Blockchain Accounts
Buying verified blockchain accounts is a strategic move for anyone looking to navigate the cryptocurrency landscape effectively. These accounts come with a stamp of authenticity, ensuring that your transactions are secure and trustworthy.
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The hassle of creating an account from scratch—complete with verification processes—can be time-consuming. Purchasing a pre-verified account streamlines this experience, allowing you to focus on what truly matters: your trading strategy.
Moreover, having an established history can enhance your reputation as a trader. It encourages confidence among peers and potential partners alike. In the world of blockchain, perception matters just as much as performance.
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When considering where to buy verified blockchain accounts, Pvatopservice stands out for several reasons. Our commitment to customer satisfaction is unmatched. We provide a seamless purchasing experience that ensures your needs are met.
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Choosing Pvatopservice means opting for reliability in an ever-evolving crypto landscape where scams are prevalent.
What are The Benefits of Buying a Verified Blockchain Account?
Buying a verified blockchain account opens the door to enhanced security and trustworthiness. With verification, you minimize the risks often associated with online transactions. This is particularly crucial in an industry where scams can happen.
Another benefit lies in accessibility. Verified accounts can grant you entry into platforms that require stringent identity checks. This means fewer hurdles when trying to engage in trading or investment activities.
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Buying a verified blockchain account allows for peace of mind as you navigate this complex landscape—knowing you’re protected against many common pitfalls.
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In today’s digital landscape, having a strong online presence is crucial for businesses and individuals alike. One of the most effective ways to enhance your visibility and credibility is by utilizing Verified Bitmark Accounts. These accounts not only offer legitimacy but also open doors to numerous opportunities that can elevate your brand or personal profile. If you’re looking to boost your engagement and reach on this platform, buying Verified Bitmark Accounts might just be the game changer you need. Dive in as we explore the ins and outs of acquiring these valuable assets from Pvatopservice.com, where quality meets affordability!
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Additionally, securing a Verified Bitmark Account minimizes the risk of being flagged or suspended. It ensures you’re seen as a legitimate player in your industry, allowing you to focus on growth rather than worrying about compliance issues.
Investing in these accounts from reputable sources can also save time and effort. Instead of going through the lengthy process of building up an account organically, you can hit the ground running with established credentials right away.
The importance of Verified Bitmark Accounts for businesses
Verified Bitmark Accounts are crucial for businesses aiming to establish credibility in the digital landscape. These accounts provide a level of authenticity that can significantly boost consumer trust.
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Benefits of Buying Verified Bitmark Accounts from Pvatopservice.Com
Purchasing verified Bitmark accounts from Pvatopservice.
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What are the benefits of Buying Bitmark Verified Accounts?
Buying Bitmark Verified Accounts offers a range of advantages for both individuals and businesses. First, these accounts come with enhanced credibility. A verified account signals trustworthiness to potential customers and partners.
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