“
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
”
”
George Carlin
“
Mayor: How horrible our Christmas will be!
Jack Skellington: *No.*
[the Mayor switches to his upset face]
Jack Skellington: How *jolly*!
Mayor: Oh. How *jolly* our Christmas will be
”
”
Tim Burton
“
It's supposed to be jolly, with mistletoe and holly... and other things ending in olly.
”
”
Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
“
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blixen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
”
”
Clement Clarke Moore (The Night Before Christmas)
“
How to be jolly even when times are bad 1. Eat more gingerbread, chocolate, jam and cake. 2. Say the word ‘Christmas’. 3. Give someone a present. Like a toy, or a book, or a kind word, or a big hug. 4. Laugh, even if there is nothing to laugh about. Especially then. 5. Think of a happy memory. Or a happy future. 6. Wear something red. 7. Believe. (extract from How to Be Jolly: The Father Christmas Guide to Happiness)
”
”
Matt Haig (A Boy Called Christmas (Christmas, #1))
“
The worst part of Christmas is that it ends. That practically the day after, everyone carries on as if nothing else ever happens. You’re expected to go back to your normal life, eat normal food, not receive presents or celebrate or be jolly and wear stupid clothing, just because the moment’s passed.
”
”
Matthew Crow (In Bloom)
“
As she stood there looking about, that radio sound resolved into the bluff baritone of Burl Ives, encouraging all the world to have a holly jolly Christmas, and never mind it was the third week of March. The voice was coming from the attached garage, a dingy building with a single roll-up door and four square windows looking into it, milky with filth.
”
”
Joe Hill (NOS4A2)
“
Max takes a step back, shielding his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?” “Showing you my jolliness.” “Well, fuck, stop. It’s terrifying.
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbor Stole Christmas)
“
I thought you gave me my present already.” Rolling my eyes, I climb off him. “Coming inside of me is not a freaking Christmas present, Nathan.” “It makes me feel jolly when I do it.
”
”
Hannah Grace (Icebreaker)
“
Every day, not only did he wear his red and white outfit, complete with shiny black belt and boots, but he was determined to be as jolly as could be, because the easiest way to make other people happy was to be happy yourself, or at least to act as if you were. That was how his mother had done it. And even his father too, once upon a time.
”
”
Matt Haig (A Boy Called Christmas (Christmas, #1))
“
How about that one?"
“That fat thing?”
“Amber, it is a Christmas tree. It is supposed to be fat and jolly looking, like Santa Clause.
”
”
Sarah Holman (Distorted Glass: A Snow Queen Story)
“
Gingerbread had always been Helen’s favorite. And that made sense. After all, Christmas was Helen’s favorite time of year.
”
”
J.K. Franko Jr. (Holly Jolly: Campfire Stories)
“
You’re not a bad person, you just got dealt a bad hand. Sometimes, you just need someone else to shuffle the deck.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Don't get me wrong. I'm no Grinch. I just don't understand why people can't be jolly all year round instead of saving it for when the advertising companies say they should be happy spending all their hard-earned money on shit no one wants.
”
”
Vivy Skys (A Dark Mafia Christmas (Ruthless Mafia Kings))
“
jollymerry
hollyberry
jollyberry
merryholly
happyjolly
jollyjelly
jellybelly
bellymerry
hollyheppy
jollyMolly
marryJerry
merryHarry
happyBarry
heppyJarry
bobbyheppy
berryjorry
jorryjolly
moppyjelly
Mollymerry
Jerryjolly
bellyboppy
jorryhoppy
hollymoppy
Barrymerry
Jarryhappy
happyboppy
boppyjolly
jollymerry
merrymerry
merrymerry
merryChris
ammerryasa
Chrismerry
asMERRYCHR
YSANTHEMUM
”
”
Edwin Morgan (The Second Life: Selected Poems)
“
The poulterers' shops were still half open, and the fruiterers' were radiant in their glory. There were great, round, pot-bellied baskets of chestnuts, shaped like the waistcoats of jolly old gentleman, lolling at the doors, and tumbling out into the street in their apoplectic opulence. There were ruddy, brown-faced broad-girthed Spanish onions, shining in the fatness of their growth like Spanish friars, and winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went by, and glanced demurely at the hung-up mistletoe. There were pears and apples, clustered high in blooming pyramids; there were bunches of grapes, made, in the shopkeepers' benevolence, to dangle from conspicuous hooks, that people's mouths might water gratis as they passed; there were piles of filberts, mossy and brown, recalling, in their fragrance, ancient walks among the woods, and pleasant shufflings ankle deep through withered lanes; there were Norfolk Biffins, squab and swarthy, setting off the yellow of the oranges and lemons, and, in the great compactness of their juicy persons, urgently entreating and beseeching to be carried home in paper bags and eaten after dinner.
”
”
Charles Dickens (A Christmas Carol)
“
It was a sledge, and it was reindeer with bells on their harness. But they were far bigger than the Witch’s reindeer, and they were not white but brown. And on the sledge sat a person whom everyone knew the moment they set eyes on him. He was a huge man in a bright red robe (bright as hollyberries) with a hood that had fur inside it and a great white beard that fell like a foamy waterfall over his chest. Everyone knew him because, though you see people of his sort only in Narnia, you see pictures of them and hear them talked about even in our world – the world on this side of the wardrobe door. But when you really see them in Narnia it is rather different. Some of the pictures of Father Christmas in our world make him look only funny and jolly. But now that the children actually stood looking at him they didn’t find it quite like that. He was so big, and so glad, and so real, that they all became quite still. They felt very glad, but also solemn.
”
”
C.S. Lewis (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia, #2))
“
thought it was Mike who was sobbing. The poor guy! And then there was the time the magic wind switcherooed Katie into Slinky, class 4A’s pet snake. Just thinking about shedding Slinky’s skin still made her itch. Most fourth-grade girls don’t shed. The magic wind was the reason Katie didn’t make wishes anymore. She knew what kinds of weird things could happen if they came true. But she still really, really wanted a Christmas tree, even if she couldn’t wish for one. Luckily, Katie didn’t have to wish this time. Instead, Nick said, “I think we should go to a tree farm and pick one out.
”
”
Nancy E. Krulik (Holly's Jolly Christmas (Katie Kazoo, Switcheroo, Super Special))
“
Oh, come on, admit it. I’m the obscure, jolly cousin everyone assumes lives alone in a timber-framed cottage with a thriving herb garden and eleven cats. I’m also completely forgotten until needed. Except by you. You never missed a birthday or Christmas card. Thank you!
-Gertie
”
”
Lynne Christensen (Aunt Edwina's Fabulous Wishes (The Aunt Edwina Series, #1))
“
That's all right, Sister," said the doctor. Circumstances and all that. Mrs Naylor, I am aware of how you came by your injuries. Rest assured; I've already had words with Mr Naylor. We can't have behaviour of this sort. One expects a certain amount of it from the lower orders, but it's not acceptable in your husband's rank in life. Carrying on like the great unwashed won't be tolerated, and I jolly well told him so. Colette stared from her good eye in disbelief. Carrying on like the great unwashed - was that how wife-battering was viewed?
”
”
Maisie Thomas (A Christmas Miracle for the Railway Girls (The Railway Girls, #6))
“
But Christmas isn’t really about a man in a red suit with a jolly smile and a white beard. It’s a feeling, honey. It’s magic and mystery. And it’s belief in the good in people.
”
”
L.B. Dunbar (Naughty-ish (Holiday Hotties #2))
“
A Holly Jolly Christmas by Burl Ives was playing from a plugged-in plastic radio behind the counter, but the tune did nothing to ease the tension in the room.
”
”
Sergio Gomez (The Visitor)
“
Could it be possible?—as by the match with which Stuyvesant and I lighted our cigars, we saw my watch—ten o’clock!
“Stuyvesant,” I whispered, “we are in for an adventure sure enough. I don’t know exactly where we are, but the horses are about used up, and I’m frozen.”
He turned and boldly told the party our situation, trying to make it out as a jolly good joke. The ladies did not appreciate it, except little Lucy. She did not say much, but evidently thought it a most delightful experience of romantic reality. Adelaide and Mrs. Grayson were really alarmed, and I am pretty sure that as we drove on again, I heard Cousin Daisy repeating parts of Eastman’s Snow Storm:
“But cold and dead by the sunken log,
Are they who came from the town.”
We pushed on for another half hour, which seemed a whole night time, and then pulled up before a farmhouse, in which the inmates were a long while under blankets. A rascally cur screeched and yelped at us. That, however, and our united voices calling for about ten minutes, aroused someone, for we heard a sash frostily resist lifting, and a male nightmare full voice say, “What in the devil do you want?”
Stuyvesant asked for the necessary information, and we learned that we were twelve miles from our destination and four from the nearest village. The window dropped with a bang, but the word reached me, too, something like “jam,” or “slam,” or “ram.”
“Ho! Halloo!” sang out Stuyvesant in alarm, “where in the mischief are you driving, Earnest? Here we are over the runners in a drift.”
The fact is, I had my eyes on a dark, irregular building just ahead, and I was trying to make out if it was a poorhouse or a jail.
”
”
Philip van Doren Stern (The Civil War Christmas Album)
“
Holly Berries
A Confederate Christmas Story
by Refugitta
There was, first, behind the clear crystal pane, a mammoth turkey, so fat that it must have submitted to be killed from sheer inability to eat and move, hung all around with sausage balls and embowered in crisp white celery with its feathered tops. Many a belated housekeeper or father of a family, passing by, cast loving glances at the monster bird, and turned away with their hands on depleted purses and arms full of brown paper parcels. Then there were straw baskets of eggs, white and shining with the delightful prospect of translation into future eggnogs; pale yellow butter stamped with ears of corn, bee hives, and statuesque cows with their tails in an attitude. But these were all substantials, and the principal attraction was the opposition window, where great pyramids of golden oranges, scaly brown pineapples, festoons of bananas, boxes of figs and raisins with their covers thrown temptingly aside, foreign sauces and pickles, cheeses, and gilded walnuts were arranged in picturesque regularity, jut, as it seemed, almost within reach of one’s olfactories and mouth, until a closer proximity realized the fact of that thick plate glass between. Inside it was just the same: there were barrels and boxes in a perfect wilderness; curious old foreign packages and chests, savory of rare teas and rarer jellies; cinnamon odors like gales from Araby meeting you at every turn; but yet everything, from the shining mahogany counter under the brilliant gaslight, up to the broad, clean, round face of the jolly grocer Pin, was so neat and orderly and inviting that you felt inclined to believe yourself requested to come in and take off things by the pocketful, without paying a solitary cent.
I acknowledge that it was an unreasonable distribution of favors for Mr. Pin to own, all to himself, this abundance of good things. Now, in my opinion, little children ought to be the shop keepers when there are apples and oranges to be sold, and I know they will all agree with me, for I well remember my earliest ambition was that my papa would turn confectioner, and then I could eat my way right through the store. But our friend John Pin was an appreciative person, and not by any means forgetful of his benefits. All day long and throughout the short afternoon, his domain had been thronged with busy buyers, old and young, and himself and his assistant (a meager-looking young man of about the dimensions of a knitting needle) constantly employed in supplying their demands.
From the Southern Illustrated News.
”
”
Philip van Doren Stern (The Civil War Christmas Album)
“
The jolly old elf’s nose was red, but not from cold — rather, from the brutality of a dozen boxes of Kleenex. Mucus flowed freely down his cheeks, and mixed with tears of agony. She folded her arms, pursed her lips, and declared: “You’re not going out this week.
”
”
Phillip Andrew Bennett Low (Get Thee Behind Me, Santa: An Inexcusably Filthy Children's Time-Travel Farce for Adults Only)
“
Q: What songs do Santa’s gnomes sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night? A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!
”
”
Uncle Amon (100 Jokes for Kids)
“
I know that many people including our President insist that it be called the Christmas Season. I’ll be the first in line to say that it works for me however that’s not what it is. We hint at its coming on Halloween when the little tykes take over wandering the neighborhood begging for candy and coins. In this day and age the idea of children wandering the streets threatening people with “Trick or Treat!” just isn’t a good idea. In most cases parents go with them encouraging their offspring’s to politely ask “Anything for Halloween.” An added layer of security occurs when the children are herded into one room to party with friends. It’s all good, safe fun and usually there is enough candy for all of their teeth to rot before they have a chance to grow new ones. Forgotten is the concept that it is a three day observance of those that have passed before us and are considered saints or martyrs.
Next we celebrate Thanksgiving, a national holiday (holly day) formally observed in Canada, Liberia, Germany Japan, some countries in the Caribbean and the United States. Most of these countries observe days other than the fourth Thursday of November and think of it as a secular way of celebrating the harvest and abundance of food. Without a hiccup we slide into Black Friday raiding stores for the loot being sold at discounted prices. The same holds true for Cyber Monday when we burn up the internet looking for bargains that will arrive at our doorsteps, brought by the jolly delivery men and women, of FedEx, UPS and USPS.
Of course the big days are Chanukah when the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire, regained control of Jerusalem. It is a time to gather the family and talk of history and tell stories. Christmas Eve is a time when my family goes to church, mostly to sing carols and distribute gifts, although this usually continued on Christmas day. This is when the term “Merry Christmas” is justified and correct although it is thought that the actual birthday of Christ is in October. The English squeezed another day out of the season, called Boxing Day, which is when the servants got some scraps from the dinner the day before and received a small gift or a dash of money. I do agree that “Xmas” is inappropriate but that’s just me and I don’t go crazy over it. After all, Christmas is for everyone.
On the evening of the last day of the year we celebrate New Year’s Evening followed by New Year’s Day which many people sleep through after New Year’s Eve. The last and final day of the Holiday Season is January 6th which Is Epiphany or Three Kings Day. In Tarpon Springs, the Greek Orthodox Priest starts the celebration with the sanctification of the waters followed by the immersion of the cross. It becomes a scramble when local teenage boys dive for the cross thrown into the Spring Bayou as a remembrance of the baptism of Jesus Christ in the Jordan River. This tradition is now over a century old and was first celebrated by the Episcopal Church by early settlers in 1903.
”
”
Hank Bracker (Seawater One: Going to Sea! (Seawater Series))
“
I thought you gave me my present early.”
Rolling my eyes, I climb off him. “Coming inside of me is not a freaking Christmas present, Nathan.”
“It makes me feel jolly when I do it.
”
”
Hannah Grace (Icebreaker (UCMH, #1))
“
Our presents on Christmas morning were minimal, our school supplies the generic brand, our extracurricular activities limited to those freely available through the community center or local Y.
”
”
Sonya Lalli (A Holly Jolly Diwali)
“
Every day, not only did he wear his red and white outfit, complete with shiny black belt and boots, but he was determined to be as jolly as could be, because the easiest way to make other people happy was to be happy yourself, or at least to act as if you were.
”
”
Matt Haig (A Boy Called Christmas)
“
There’s more riding on this particular Christmas than ever before, and I’m coming apart at the seams. I need you to find my stolen property before Christmas Eve, or there’ll be no joy to the world, no ho-ho-ho, no holly jolly, no Feliz in the Navidad, no Frohe in the Weihnachten, no Merry in the Christmas.
”
”
Kevin J. Anderson (A Fantastic Holiday Season: The Gift of Stories)
“
You better watch out, you better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is mining to town. He’s digging a shaft, checking it twice, Gonna find ores that’re shiny and nice, Santa Claus is mining to town. He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake, He knows if you’ve been bad or good, So be good for goodness’ sake! With a pickaxe in hand, and a torch so bright, He’s dodging the creepers that roam in the night, Santa Claus is mining to town. He hears a strange sound, turns around in a flash, Ninjas in the shadows, ready to clash, Santa Claus is in a showdown. Ninjas jumping from the trees, Santa’s ready with ease, Throwing snowballs with a breeze, In the moonlight’s silver tease. So, you better watch out, you better not cry, Ninjas are lurking, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is battling in town. With a swift ninja move, Santa stands tall, Distributing gifts, he outlasts them all, Santa Claus is winning in town. Back on his sleigh, with a jolly old grin, Off to the next world, where adventures begin, Santa Claus is flying from town.
”
”
Pixel Ate (The Accidental Minecraft Family: Witherton Wonderland (Christmas Special): AMF Holiday Special Series (The Accidental Minecraft Family: Holiday Specials))
“
Cinnamon, folks. That’s the key to triggering my happiest memories, and if there is one thing I’ve found in my thirty years on earth, it’s that cinnamon is also the key to unlocking almost anyone’s holly jolly side,
”
”
M.J. Padgett (Merry Takes Main Street (Life With the Thomas Brothers #0.5))
“
I thought you gave me my present already?”
Rolling my eyes, I climb off him. “Coming inside of me is not a freaking Christmas present, Nathan.”
“It makes me feel jolly when I do it.
”
”
Hannah Grace (Icebreaker (UCMH, #1))
“
Little do they know, I caught them on camera, reported them to their parents, and quickly turned their holly jolly Christmas into a stocking full of coal.
”
”
Meghan Quinn (Resting Scrooge Face)
“
Be a good girl and tell Santa what you need. This Christmas, Santa aims to please. —INK, "All BeClaus of You," Merry INKmas (Bootcamp Records)
”
”
Julie Murphy (A Holly Jolly Ever After)
“
Coming inside of me is not a freaking Christmas present, Nathan.” “It makes me feel jolly when I do it.
”
”
Hannah Grace (Icebreaker)
“
Christmas Eve. But fat, jolly old Santa is actually the modern figure of St Nicholas
”
”
Sibel Hodge (Santa Claus, Lies, and Murder (Amber Fox #4.5))
“
I have never tried to walk through a mall in the Christmas season dressed like a jolly old elf. You might as well dress up like a pork chop and walk into an alley full of starving dogs.
”
”
Thomm Quackenbush (Of Christmas Present)
“
The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.
”
”
Thomm Quackenbush (Of Christmas Present)
“
Shoulders back, chest puffed, I smile widely, flashing all of my teeth, my eyes crinkling in the corners. Max takes a step back, shielding his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?” “Showing you my jolliness.” “Well, fuck, stop. It’s terrifying.” My
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbour Stole Christmas)
“
10- FUCKIN AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
9- FELIZE NAVI DAMNN!!!
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
5- LET IT FLOW! LET IT FLOW! LET IT FLOW!
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
6- SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE WE FUCKING
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
8- I SAW MOMMY KISSING THIS DICK
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
3- SANTA CLAUS IS CUMMIN TO TOWN
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
11- BRICHÉ, DID YOU KNOW
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
12- YOU’RE A MEAN ONE MR. CARTWRIGHT
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
I wanted him to know exactly what he was missing, so I went crazy on the dick. Standing on my feet in the frog position, I began bouncing wildly. I frantically rubbed my clit while staring him in the eyes never missing a beat.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Something along the way didn’t work and his dick bent. The way he screamed out, I knew it wasn’t just a normal ouch. Jumping up, I looked at his dick turned completely to the left and felt terrible. “What the fuck, Jay?” “I think I broke it,
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
1- WHO DO THE LONELY SCREW AT CHRISTMAS?
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
2- SILVER BELLS, AND BLUE BALLS
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
When he got to my nightstand, he pulled Harvey out and waved it towards me. “Fuck I tell you about this plastic ass shit. A white man at that.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
4- CALEB, THE BIG DICK REINDEER
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
7- SUCK ALL THE MISTLE TOES
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
13- ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS, BRICHÉ
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
14- WINTER FUCKLAND
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
You’re something special and I just want you to know if I had a chance to do my life over, I would do it with you all over again.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
You can get that shit out your head. I gave you a nigga and a bitch that’s naturally thick. Sit yo hot ass down somewhere.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
You are going to walk in there looking like the bad bitch you are with your niggas, and shit on those two.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
16- JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Not only am I fucking her, I’m fucking the shit out of her.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
I don’t know what kind of magic she did, but Holly went from being someone who interrupted my peace and quiet with endless questions and a joy that suffocated me, to someone I look forward to seeing. I crave her company, her questions, her texts, calls, practice dates. Whatever it is, I can’t wait to see her. Jesus. I’m so fucked.
”
”
Stephanie Alves (Holly's Jolly Christmas)
“
She's everything I never knew I needed. Everything I thought I would hate but can't get enough of. She's light and laughter, smiles and joy.
”
”
Stephanie Alves (Holly's Jolly Christmas)
“
I've been on date after date, but it never turned into much. Either they didn't like me, or I didn't like them. But with Mark, I wasn't even trying. He just fell into my life, and I fell for him.
”
”
Stephanie Alves (Holly's Jolly Christmas)
“
Shoulders back, chest puffed, I smile widely, flashing all of my teeth, my eyes crinkling in the corners. Max takes a step back, shielding his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?” “Showing you my jolliness.” “Well, fuck, stop. It’s terrifying.
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbor Stole Christmas)
“
You want to jump his holly jolly boner, then do it. You want to tongue him down under the mistletoe, do that too. You want him to be your lay in a manger? My vote is yes. Yes, to all of it!
”
”
K.C. Mills (Christmas in Spite of You)
“
Santa Got Drunk Drinking My Eggnog (Verse 1)
Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog,
He stumbled and fumbled, tripped over the dog.
His cheeks were all rosy, his nose like a log,
Oh, Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog.
(Chorus)
Ho ho ho, what a sight to see,
Santa Claus tipsy as can be.
Ho ho ho, what a holiday spree,
Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog, whee!
(Verse 2)
He tried to climb the chimney, but got stuck halfway,
With a hiccup and a giggle, he called it a day.
The reindeer were laughing, the elves in dismay,
Oh, Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog, hooray!
(Chorus)
Ho ho ho, what a sight to see,
Santa Claus tipsy as can be.
Ho ho ho, what a holiday spree,
Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog, whee!
(Bridge)
He danced with the snowman, sang carols off-key,
Knocked over the presents, oh what a spree!
But we all had a laugh, it was jolly and free,
Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog, yippee!
(Chorus)
Ho ho ho, what a sight to see,
Santa Claus tipsy as can be.
Ho ho ho, what a holiday spree,
Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog, whee!
(Outro)
So next year I'll hide it, keep it out of sight,
But for now, let's toast to a funny Christmas night.
With Santa all rosy, and the stars shining bright,
Santa got drunk drinking my eggnog, goodnight!
”
”
James Hilton-Cowboy
“
Hell, a lot of times I craved it. When he got to my nightstand, he pulled Harvey out and waved it towards me. “Fuck I tell you about this plastic ass shit. A white man at that.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Something along the way didn’t work and his dick bent. The way he screamed out, I knew it wasn’t just a normal ouch. Jumping up, I looked at his dick turned completely to the left and felt terrible. “What the fuck, Jay?
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
think I broke it,” I said in a shameful tone. “Bruh, how the fuck you break my dick?” He leaned up and looked down and I swear I thought he was about to pass out. “Jay, why the fuck you just sitting there looking for? Call 911 before I lose my dick.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
If his dick was fucked up forever, I was going to jump off a fucking cliff.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
However, Cooper only had one tattoo on his chest. My name went from one end to the other in big bold letters.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Not knowing what else to do, I leaned down and kissed the tip of it. “Man, if you don’t get the fuck away from my dick. Just stop.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
I closed my eyes and tried to figure out how the hell a nigga ended up with a broken dick.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Hold up, you telling me Jay pussy that strong, she broke yo dick? Man, that’s some powerful ass pussy.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Hell naw. She was too excited and tried to do some dumb ass spin move. I got about another week before I could fuck. That’s if things go right. It might be longer.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
If you say so. I’m just glad yall good and getting along. I know you not gone stay, but it’s good having you here. Jayme needs some company. She be in here so bored she be fucking white plastic dicks all day.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
They both would fight it because of me, and I respected them for that. It was no different from what I did every day with Briché.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
She was really starting to think she might have a chance, but damn I loved our back and forth banter. It made the workday go by so much faster.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
If I can’t make it, it’s okay for you to occupy your time with Caleb. You have an itch, scratch it,” I whispered in her ear easing her mind about the sexual tension she was feeling
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Your resting Grinch Face is showing, Liv." I chuckle.
"And your Holly Jolly Weirdo Face is showing, Marino.
”
”
Katie Bailey (Holiday Hostilities (Cyclones Christmas #2))
“
Oh, and you think you’ll be able to shed the grumpiness and become a holly jolly asshole?
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbor Stole Christmas)
“
He sticks his hands in his pockets, leans a little to the left, and pops an eyebrow and a smirk at the same time, flashing me some sort of movie star smile. I try to look away, act disgusted, attempt to shield my eyes, but hell, that’s a great smile. Nice to look at. Some might say a jolly fucking experience.
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbor Stole Christmas)
“
At thirty-one, I was ready to settle down and start a family, but with the piss in the dating pool, I refused to swim in it.
”
”
B. Chanel (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS: IN COLORADO)
“
It’s not going to be a tragedy, because you’re going to enter the competition with me as my holly jolly sidekick.
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbor Stole Christmas)
“
Not a jolly bone in my body. Wait until he gets a hold of this . . . Shoulders back, chest puffed, I smile widely, flashing all of my teeth, my eyes crinkling in the corners. Max takes a step back, shielding his eyes. “What the hell are you doing?” “Showing you my jolliness.” “Well, fuck, stop. It’s terrifying.
”
”
Meghan Quinn (How My Neighbor Stole Christmas)
“
I’m in a relationship with two bitches. I promise my dick and my pockets wore the fuck out. Even if I wanted to get your number, I couldn’t.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
I know, that’s why I’m taking you on a trip. Go home and pack, I’ll be by to pick you up in an hour.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Maybe I need to rethink this shit. How the fuck I gotta be faithful to a married mufucka?
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
Is it okay if I go to the store, father?
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
For God’s sake, may we be jolly.
”
”
Ryan Whitaker Smith (Winter Fire: Christmas with G.K. Chesterton)
“
Wait. You saying that you got a girlfriend that you and your wife share. I would be your wife’s boyfriend and we can also share your girlfriend? I’m lost as fuck around this bitch.
”
”
Latoya Nicole (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS : IN CHICAGO)
“
If I’d made myself uncomfortable for him, for my parents, for my old agent, then why couldn’t I make myself uncomfortable for myself? For something that I wanted to do? The new Winnie Baker had herself under control. The new Winnie Baker had her shit together. And she was going to make a sexy Santa movie and show the world that she was here on her own terms, dang it.
”
”
Sierra Simone (A Holly Jolly Ever After (A Christmas Notch, #2))
“
Oop, lemme call you back, friend. Good pussy is calling!
”
”
B. Chanel (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS: IN COLORADO)
“
Any fucking way! You not finna sit on this phone and act sick with me. You gone continue to live your life, and I’m going to make sure of it. You got cancer; cancer don’t have you, sis. This ain’t some shit that you have to deal with alone, Keke; you have me. So, the next time I call, and you don’t answer, be ready to get in the field.
”
”
B. Chanel (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS: IN COLORADO)
“
I wanted to ask his ass if I could have some too. Hand that shit out like Oprah, daddy!
”
”
B. Chanel (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS: IN COLORADO)
“
That’s right, daddy’s baby, take this shit like a good girl. Throw that ass back; don’t make me do all the work.” He slapped my ass. “There you go, ma-ma.
”
”
B. Chanel (A JOLLY POLY CHRISTMAS: IN COLORADO)