Joe Rogan Quotes

If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.

Prison is for rapists, thieves, and murderers. If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, then you're the fucking criminal.

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird.

Booty is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of booty in an other dimension. There are no chicks willing to blow themselves up for a penis.” –Joe Rogan

This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem, and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.

I've never seen anyone's life get better by complaining about reality, I've seen it get better by accepting reality as it is and then making personal decisions to make it better.

The universe rewards hustle.

Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.

I stopped using twitter because it's like a bunch of mental patients throwing shit at each other.

You only regret the workouts you didn’t do.

Imagine being a poor person and you find out that the Queen who literally does nothing is making 100 million dollars in a year.

Haters are all failures. It’s 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

It's so weird man, it's like the vagina is an elevator door that opens up into this dimension, and sometimes that elevator puts you out on to a bad fucking floor!

When you're out there living in the fucking jungle, you want a tiny dick with a pee-hole so small that one of those ball eating fish can't swim up there and eat your ball sack out from inside.

Carl was engrossed in the latest Brad Thor thriller and would glance up from time to time to observe the screens. Scott hit pause on his iPhone long enough to say hello. He was listening to a Joe Rogan podcast where the podcaster was somehow discussing psychedelic drugs and bow hunting with Cam Hanes in the same episode.

I can today LEGALLY walk into a gun show, uh, pass the background check, and buy a dozen guns, walk out and sell them to criminal elements, who will use them for bad things.

Greatness and madness are next door neighbors and they often borrow each other's sugar.

You don't want to just be a consumer, you want to be a participant.

Tim Ferriss, Rogaine, Brian Rose, Rich Roll... etc. how do they get away with this shit. Have long talks with mostly uninteresting characters, and sometimes they just fucking interview each other. How do I get in on the action. On this little scam. Just kidding. I have better things to do. I got Runescape. Sometimes I watch Mishlove. At least he talks to dogs and poltergeists.

She's an Assad TOADY!..... Joe: What does that mean?... Joe: before we say that about her, we should probably read it...

about hanging out with Joe Rogan,

Maybe all interviewers aren’t trying to be Terry Gross, but maybe they are trying to be Joe Rogan, Ellen, Trevor Noah, Ryan Seacrest, Oprah, Howard Stern—or anyone else they admire and think they should emulate. But too often, interviewers try to play a role rather than simply be themselves.

1 gram of resveratrol (Countless animal studies have shown that resveratrol can extend life. However, scientists are still trying to find ways for humans to absorb it as it is not very soluble)206 1 gram of nicotinamide mononucleotide (NMN) 0.5 gram of metformin (Human studies have shown metformin reduces your biological age by two years. The drug is used to treat diabetes but might be beneficial to all humans for its anti-aging properties)207

What’s Joe Rogan’s Big Bang Machine?

Over time, the tribal identity becomes our identity. Once identity and tribe fuse, we let our tribe determine what’s appropriate for us to read, watch, say, and think. We pick up social-media cues about what our tribe is thinking, and we toe the line. If our tribe hates Joe Rogan, we hate him too. If our tribe believes that immigrants are destroying our country, we believe it too. We forfeit our voice. We forfeit our choice. That warm, fuzzy, satisfying feeling of belonging trumps everything else—including thinking for ourselves.

Write this in a witty, funny, engaging tone” or you can even ask for people like “Write this podcast introduction in the style of Joe Rogan