Jo Koy Quotes

The penis, when you pull the underwear down, it's like a drunk friend just falling out of a car. —Jo Koy

I remembered Sant Kabir's famous doha that my mother often quoted: Jako rakhe Saiyan, maar sakey na koy Baal na banko kar sakey, jo jag bairi hoy He whom God protects, no one can kill. Even if the whole world turns into his enemy, not even a hair of his can they harm.

I never really opened up about how hard it was growing up as a half-breed Filipino in suburban America.

if you’re a first-generation American immigrant, the pressure is even worse, because as far as your mom is concerned the only way she’s been successful is if you graduate from college and get a good white-collar job—because that’s the American dream, and your success is her shot at that dream.

I could take my weakness and turn it into a weapon. Instead of being embarrassed, I became unstoppable.

But when shit got real for my mom and our family, when we had nowhere to turn and desperately needed help, the Filipinos

me—both of my halves—for exactly who I was. They accepted our whole family, my brother with his outbursts. My adopted sister. All of us. I was home. I still have that glove to this day.

But if you’re Filipino, you get it, because Filipino moms all do what my mother does. The constant bickering that never really stops or starts, it just is. The ping-ponging from love to punishment, from indulgence to guilt, back and forth, back and forth, over and over. Putting you on a pedestal one day only to tear you down again the next.

But my mom didn’t hurt you with physical punishment. That wasn’t her thing. Her thing was psychological

There is nothing more terrifying than a Filipino mom who’s gone into full self-righteous demonic fury mode. For all you non-Filipinos out there, if you’re ever close to one who’s about to go off, straight up—fucking run.

I’m not taking any of this money with me when I die. What should I do with it now? Hoard it? Invest it in the stock market? No, I’m gonna invest it in my family’s next generation. I’m gonna open doors for them that weren’t opened for us when we got to this country. So maybe, just maybe, they’ll have to sacrifice a little less, and be able to do a little more.