Jay Shetty Quotes

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When you learn a little, you feel you know a lot. But when you learn a lot, you realize you know very little.
Jay Shetty
Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Cancers of the Mind: Comparing, Complaining, Criticizing.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
our search is never for a thing, but for the feeling we think the thing will give us.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
In 1902, the sociologist Charles Horton Cooley wrote: “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
When we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives, we can feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Salt is so humble that when something goes wrong, it takes the blame, and when everything goes right, it doesn’t take credit.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Too often we love people who don’t love us, but we fail to return the love of others who do.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Albert Einstein said, “If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it well enough.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
But when we look for the good in others, we start to see the best in ourselves too.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
When you learn to navigate and manage your breath, you can navigate any situation in life.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Because the only thing that stays with you from the moment you’re born until the moment you die is your breath. All your friends, your family, the country you live in, all of that can change. The one thing that stays with you is your breath.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Location has energy; time has memory. If you do something at the same time every day, it becomes easier and natural. If you do something in the same space every day, it becomes easier and natural.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Everyone has a story, and sometimes our egos choose to ignore that. Don’t take everything personally—it is usually not about you.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. —the Dalai Lama
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Language has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
This ten-year-old monk added, “When you get stressed—what changes? Your breath. When you get angry—what changes? Your breath. We experience every emotion with the change of the breath. When you learn to navigate and manage your breath, you can navigate any situation in life.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others. If I only find joy in my own successes, I’m limiting my joy. But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I get to experience fifty times the happiness and joy. Who doesn’t want that?
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Negativity is a trait, not someone’s identity. A person’s true nature can be obscured by clouds, but, like the sun, it is always there. And clouds can overcome any of us. We have to understand this when we deal with people who exude negative energy. Just like we wouldn’t want someone to judge us by our worst moments, we must be careful not to do that to others. When someone hurts you, it’s because they’re hurt. Their hurt is simply spilling over. They need help. And as the Dalai Lama says, “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
There is toxicity everywhere around us. In the environment, in the political atmosphere, but the origin is in people’s hearts. Unless we clean the ecology of our own heart and inspire others to do the same, we will be an instrument of polluting the environment. But if we create purity in our own heart, then we can contribute great purity to the world around us.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Everything we love goes. So to be able to grieve that loss, to let go, to have that grief be absolutely full, is the only way to have our heart be full and open. If we’re not open to losing, we’re not open to loving.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Here’s the life hack: Service is always the answer. It fixes a bad day. It tempers the burdens we bear. Service helps other people and helps us. We don’t expect anything in return, but what we get is the joy of service. It’s an exchange of love. When you’re living in service, you don’t have time to complain and criticize. When you’re living in service, your fears go away. When you’re living in service, you feel grateful. Your material attachments diminish.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
the deepest love as when you like someone’s personality, respect their values, and help them toward their goals in a long-term, committed relationship.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
They’re afraid to talk about difficult feelings because they or their partner might get angry. They hide how they feel to avoid stirring up trouble. Keeping the peace often comes at the expense of honesty and understanding. And the converse is also true: Love built on honesty and understanding is deep and fulfilling, but not necessarily peaceful. Partners who avoid conflict don’t understand each other’s priorities, values, or struggles. Every couple fights—or should.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
The ancient Greeks said there were seven basic types of love: Eros, which is sexual or passionate love; Philia, or friendship; Storge, or familial love; Agape, which is universal love; Ludus, which is casual or noncommittal love; Pragma, which is based on duty or other interests; and Philautia, which is self-love.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
What is the difference between like and love?" asks a student. The teacher responds, "When you like a flower, you pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it daily.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Movies idealize love, but we rarely find out what happens after happily ever after.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
There is nothing wrong with attraction, but we are easily carried away by what looks appealing, feels good, or sounds right. In solutude we learn to create space between sensory stimulation and decision-making.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Two of the key skills we learn in solitude are self-control and patience. They're connected, because the mode we improve our self-control, the more patient we can be. Without these two skills we become prone to following our senses and whatever attracts us.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
People determine how to treat us in large part by observing how we treat ourselves. The way you speak about yourself affects how people will speak with you. the way you allow yourself to be spoken to reinforces what people think you deserve.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
The best thing for your nervous system is another human. The worst thing for your nervous system is another human." Synching with other people can log us in to their bad vibes as well as their good ones. this is why we need to self-regulate, comforting ourselves, calming ourselves down, or pepping ourselves up. If we're always turning toward others to help us tune how we feel, we'll stay more like that infant who is incapable of self-soothing and self-supporting.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Other people can help you, but if you're not trying to understand yourself, nobody else can do it for you.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
In this way, being alone—not lonely, but comfortable and confident in situations where we make our own choices, follow our own lead, and reflect on our own experience—is the first step in preparing ourselves to love others.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
We can't know where and when we'll find love, but we can preapre for it and practice what we've learned when we find it.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
It's about learning how to display your values, not how to advertise yourself.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
And we prepare for love by learning how to love ourselves in solitude.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
If someone is treating you badly, I’m not advising you to tolerate it like the monk. Some mistreatment is unacceptable. But it’s useful to look beyond the moment, at the bigger picture of the person’s experience—Are they exhausted? Frustrated? Making improvements from where they once were?—and to factor in what has led to this behavior, before letting your ego jump in. Everyone has a story, and sometimes our egos choose to ignore that. Don’t take everything personally—it is usually not about you.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Karma is the law of cause and effect. Every action produces a reaction. In other words, your current decisions, good and bad, determine your future experience.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
the gifts our parents give us can create as many pitfalls as the gaps. If there is a gap in how our parents raised us, we look to others to fill it. And if there is a gift in how our parents raised us, we look to others to give us the same.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
You want to go on a journey with someone, not to make them your journey.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
This stage of life is designed to help us learn how to love ourselves. But if you don’t learn the lessons of the first ashram of love, then you won’t know how lovable you are and what you have to offer. This is an everyday practice of preparing ourselves to be in a relationship while staying true to who we are. It is one of the hardest rules in this book, and the most important.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
We first seek validation from those closest to us. Then, unsatisfied, we look for it from everyone. And finally, we find it in ourselves. It was the gap that my parents created that eventually taught me this lesson. I had to be happy with myself.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
When you come to a relationship as a whole person, without looking for someone to complete you or to be your better half, you can truly connect and love. You know how you like to spend your time, what’s important to you, and how you’d like to grow. You have the self-control to wait for someone you can be happy with and the patience to appreciate someone you’re already with. You realize that you can bring value to someone else’s life. With this foundation, you’re ready to give love without neediness or fear.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
A mentor will help you form a vision of how you can start to pursue your purpose and what your life might look like as you continue to live in your purpose. The mentor can also give you concrete advice as first steps you can take, how you can network, and where else you can turn to learn more.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
A good teacher will assess the class before teaching. A good student will understand before he applies.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Vedic teachings say that there are three levels of intelligence. In the first level, when someone tells you the fire will burn you, you listen and learn and never touch fire. In the second level, you experience it for yourself. You touch fire, it burns you, and you learn not to touch fire again. In the third level, you keep burning yourself, but you never learn. If we don’t heed our karma, we’re stuck in the third level of intelligence, and we bear the scars. We forget that what we experienced in the past holds information about how we’ll feel if we do it again.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Dear Self, We’ve been together since the beginning, and it’s thanks to you that I get to experience this life. You are closer to me than anyone, the only one who knows all that I’ve seen and done. The only one who has wwitnessed the world through my eyes. Who knows my deepest thoughts. My darkest fears. And my biggest dreams. We’ve been through a lot together—everything, in fact. The highest highs, and the lowest lows. You’re wwith me in my greatest moments and the ones I’d like to do over. And no matter what, you’ve always stuck by me. We are true partners—you are the only one about whom I can say wwithout a doubt that we wwill always be together. But in spite of your loyalty, and your caring, I’ve sometimes ignored you. I haven’t always listened when you told me what’s best for me or nudged me in the direction I should go. Instead of looking to you, I looked outwward, at what others were doing or saying. I distracted myself, so I couldn’t hear your voice. Instead of caring for you, I sometimes pushed too hard. And yet you’ve never abandoned me. You’ve always forgiven me. And you’ve always welcomed me home, wwithout judgment or criticism. For all of that, I thank you. Thank you for being gentle wwith me. For being strong. For always being wwilling to learn and grow wwith me through my mistakes, and my triumphs. And for over and over reflecting back to me the best of what is inside me. Thank you for showwing me what unconditional love truly means. Love, Me
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
A committed romantic relationship highlights this awe and respect in a different way because there isn’t one guru and one student. You are both gurus and students for each other.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
As a guru, we think about how our actions impact our partner. A guru offers guidance without judgment, wisdom without ego, love without expectation. Being a guru for your partner doesn’t mean imparting wisdom to them (that sounds unpleasant, at best), but it does require patience, understanding, curiosity, creativity, and self-control.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
You can’t put in effort and expect an immediate, guaranteed reward. What you invest will have to be heartfelt and true, and what you receive will be illuminating.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
One of the guru qualities that Kripamoya das lists is dambha asuyadhi muktam, which means “exhibits no inauspicious characteristics such as egoism or jealousy.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
My guru at the ashram said that if a teacher was a ten out of ten, then the student might only be a one out of ten because the teacher would constantly uplift them. But if the teacher was a one out of ten, the student would have to rise to be a ten out of ten in order to learn from the teacher. In other words, if you approach your studies diligently enough, with an open mind and heart, you can learn even more from a mediocre teacher than you might from a great one.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
Seek first to understand” involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. —DAVID VISCOTT
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
if your partner can bear to watch you give up your purpose, that’s not love. Your purpose has to come first for you, and your partner’s purpose has to come first for them. Then you come together with the positive energy and stability that come from pursuing your purposes.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
If you want to truly love someone and give them your best self, then you have to be your best self.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)
We tend to wear our ability to get by on little sleep as some sort of badge of honor that validates our work ethic. But what it is is a profound failure of self-respect and of priorities.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
Happiness and fulfillment come only from mastering the mind and connecting with the soul—not from objects or attainments. Success doesn’t guarantee happiness, and happiness doesn’t require success. They can feed each other, and we can have them at the same time, but they are not intertwined.
Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day)
If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else.
Jay Shetty (8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go)