Hot Water Heater Quotes

You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.

It's astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex - trying to determine what goes where and how often. They can't imagine any system outside their own, and seem obsessed with the idea of roles, both in bed and out of it. Who calls whom a bitch? Who cries harder when the cat dies? Which one spends the most time in the bathroom? I guess they think that it's that cut-and-dried, though of course it's not. Hugh might do the cooking, and actually wear an apron while he's at it, but he also chops the firewood, repairs the hot-water heater, and could tear off my arm with no more effort than it takes to uproot a dandelion.

I stared at the thing, blinking, thinking it would reveal itself to be, I don’t know, a hot-water heater or something. Then I realized the monster-shaped shadow was, surprisingly, a monster.

then I must have dropped off. It wasn’t much later that I awoke—the story of my life since my mate passed away. I get tired, wiped out, even, but can’t seem to sleep more than a few hours at a stretch. It’s such a weird time to be awake—noon. Spooky, really. There have been a few occasions when, tired of just standing there and hoping to fall back to sleep, I got up and flew around. The dining options were definitely interesting—lapdogs, ducklings, I even saw an iguana sunning himself on top of a Styrofoam cooler. But there was also a lot of traffic and noise. I never liked the world I saw during the day. Then I started hating the one I saw at night and wondered, What’s left? What changed things, albeit slowly, was learning. It’s like there’s a hole where my life used to be, and I’m filling it with information—about potatoes. About hot water heaters. Anything will do. These leeches, though. For the first time in memory, I was unable to sleep not because I was anxious but because I was excited. To live in a damp crowded asshole and sing—if these guys don’t know the secret to living, I don’t know who does.

Replace an old hot water heater before, not after it springs a leak.

But Biju went to Jackson Heights, and from a store like a hangar he bought: a TV and VCR, a camera, sunglasses, baseball caps that said "NYC" and "Yankees" and "I Like My Beer Cold and My Women Hot," a digital two-time clock and radio and cassette player, waterproof watches, calculators, an electric razor, a toaster oven, a winter coat, nylon sweaters, polyester-cotton-blend shirts, a polyurethane quilt, a rain jacket, a folding umbrella, suede shoes, a leather wallet, a Japanese-made heater, a set of sharp knives, a hot water bottle, Fixodent, saffron, cashews and raisins, aftershave, T-shirts with "I love NY" and "Born in the USA" picked out in shiny stones, whiskey, and, after a moment of hesitation, a bottle of perfume called Windsong . . . who was that for? He didn’t yet know her face.

In these other civilized countries they produce hot water tanks that have enough fittings, that is, enough inlets and outlets, to connect the tank to a solar collector on the roof of your house, garage, or tattoo parlor. The tank contains a gas-fired or electric-coil heater. When the Sun is not enough, the gas burner or the electric coil boost the heat going into the system. The water gets to the desired temperature one way or the other. This is a wonderfully logical way to do this job: Get as much insolation (sun heat) as you can. If it’s not enough, give the water a jolt of heat—a boost. Unfortunately, these sorts of tanks are not approved for use in the U.S.,

Oi, doll, ignore him,' said Sia, using a notebook to fan her face. 'Sweet lord, I'm like a human hot-water bottle wrapped in doona in front of a heater at the moment. And did I tell you about the constant farting?

Suddenly I’d found myself past thirty, shacked up with a fussy bald man nine years my senior who enjoyed monitoring every facet of our household—finances, thermostat, hot-water heater, water and electricity usage, lawn maintenance, and pest control.

Elias and Flora were found by their maid unconscious in their bedroom, in the very home their children had purchased for them. Elias was hospitalized and survived the incident, but, unfortunately, Flora passed away. It was discovered that a faulty hot-water heater pilot light had pumped gas fumes into the home, and she succumbed to them.15 Now cue the conspiracy theories as to why so many Disney movies have characters with parental issues!

Did you know that natural gas is odorless and colorless? It is also deadly. Because it is so deadly, an ingredient called mercaptan is added to the gas so that its presence can be detected. If this ingredient were not added, it would be nearly impossible for you to detect a leak of natural gas coming from your stove, hot water heater, or furnace. This ingredient has a horrible smell but becomes a very valuable safety feature. If you were to walk into your home and smell this terrible odor, would you just continue to stay in the house and say, “There is a gas leak, but it is no big deal.” Of course not! You would get out of the house immediately and call 911 for help. The Scripture gives us much warning about sin, the presence of it and the danger of it. Not to heed that warning will prove to be deadly.

And, let’s admit it, yellow hair does have magic powers. You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.

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