Homework Jokes Quotes

Nobody loves me, nobody cares, Nobody picks me peaches and pears. Nobody offers me candy and Cokes, Nobody listens and laughs at me jokes. Nobody helps when I get into a fight, Nobody does all my homework at night. Nobody misses me, Nobody cries, Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy. So, if you ask me who's my best friend, in a whiz, I'll stand up and tell you NOBODY is! But yesterday night I got quite a scare I woke up and Nobody just WASN'T there! I called out and reached for Nobody's hand, In the darkness where Nobody usually stands, Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook, But I found SOMEBODY each place that I looked. I seached till I'm tired, and now with the dawn, There's no doubt about it- NOBODY'S GONE!!

Well, I live a double life. Tonight, I'll escort you to dinner. Then I have to rush home and finish my calculus homework.' 'You're not joking, are you?' 'I never joke about calculus homework.

Make me an offer, " I said at last. "Write it up, and give me a point-by-point outline of why you're a good would-be suitor. " He started to laugh, then saw my face. "Seriously? That's like homework. There's a reason I'm not in college. " I snapped my fingers. "Get to it, Ivashkov. I want to see you put in a good day's work. " I expected a joke or a brush-off until later, but instead, he said, "Okay. " "Okay?" "Yep. I'm going to go back to my room right now to start drafting my assignment. " I stared incredulously as he reached for his coat. I had never seen Adrian move that fast when any kind of labor was involved. Oh no. What had I gotten myself into?

It is an inside joke of history that all its most exciting adventures inevitably end their careers as homework. Beheadings, rebellions, thousand-year wars, incest on the royal throne, electricity, art, opera, dogs in outer space.

I never joke about calculus homework." - Sam al-Abbas

Who was I supposed to tell? What was I supposed to say? That kind of stuff -- it happens all the time." It did. A million and one times. Comments on butts, jokes about bra straps. ... These things were just folded into our everyday lives, part of walking and breathing and doing math homework and eating lunch. Boys taking, and girls laughing. Having to pretend to be on your phone as you walked home in the dark,

Teacher: Where is your homework? Billy: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.

How many times had he thought, "I want to be just like him"? The way he'd told Gaspar while they rode in the car, you always have to respectful with girls, even if you're not interested in them. The way, after he got mad about something and raised his voice and shouted, he always gave into a joke and laughed and shook his head. The twins were going to forget him, they would miss out: the permission to do their homework on the patio, the races down the dirt road, the grilled fish at the beach, the What you wrote is really good, that teacher must be kind of dumb, she doesn't have to understand everything, but it's a shame she didn't understand this because it's so well written, and long! and the words you use! They were going to miss out on having him always accept them even when they messed up, even if they had ridiculous mental emotional psychiatric problems, they'd miss out on knowing there was someone who would never abandon them, would never back down, could beat their heads against the wall until they broke their heads and the wall, and he would be right behind them, arms crossed, saying, Well then, shall we start by fixing your skull, your anger, or the bricks? you choose?

I wish you would, because I’m not sure how long I can put up with this.” “I’ll bet you can put up with it a little longer,” I said brightly, desperate to get out from under the heavy subject. “How much do you love college in New York?” He grinned. “I love college in New York. I love just being in the city. I love my classes. I love the hospital. I wish I weren’t there at two in the morning because I also love sleep, but I do love the hospital. I love Manohar and Brian. In a manly love kind of way, of course.” “Of course,” I said, the corners of my mouth stretched tight, trying not to laugh. “You get along great with everybody. Because that’s what you do.” “Because that’s what I do,” he agreed. “Do you love college in New York?” I sighed, a big puff of white air. “I do love college in New York. Lately I’ve been so busy with work and homework that I might as well be in Iowa, but I remember loving college in New York a month ago. I’m afraid it may be coming to a close, though.” He leaned nearer. “Seriously.” “If I got that internship,” I said, “I could hold on. Otherwise I’m in trouble. I wanted so badly to start my publishing career in the publishing mecca. But maybe that’s not possible for me now. I can write anywhere, I guess.” I laughed. He didn’t laugh. “What will you do, then?” “I might try California,” I said. “It’s almost as expensive as New York, though. And it’s tainted in my mind because my mother tried it with the worst of luck.” Hunter’s movement toward me was so sudden that I instinctively shrank back. Then I realized he was reaching for my hand. He took it in his warm hand again, rubbing my palm with his calloused thumb. His voice was smooth like a song as he said, “I would not love college in New York if you weren’t there.” Suddenly I was flushing hot in the freezing night. “You wouldn’t?” I whispered. “No. When I said I love it, I listed all these things I love about it. I left you out.” He let my hand go and touched his finger to my lips. “I love you.” I started stupidly at him. Was he joking again, reciting another line from my story? I didn’t remember writing this. He leaned in and kissed me. I didn’t respond for a few seconds. My mind lagged behind what my body was feeling. “Say it,” he whispered against my lips. “I know this is hard for you. Tell me.” “I love you.” Hearing my own words, I gasped at the rush of emotion. He put his hands on either side of my jaw and took my mouth with his. My mind still chattered that something was wrong with this picture. My body stopped caring. I grabbed fistfuls of his sweater and pulled him closer.

I should probably go. I have a thousand years of homework. I’m still failing American History because I hate America and I hate history.” Make another joke, show him I’m fine. “Also tomorrow’s trash pickup day so I gotta go put myself out on the curb.” “Please don’t say things like that.” Wrong joke. “Just kidding.

Johnny: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do? " Teacher: "No, of course not. " Johnny: "Good, because I didn't do my homework.

Most people think I really could keep from falling asleep if I wanted to. If I just focused, like narcolepsy is some algebraic equation I could solve if I worked at it hard enough, did all the homework. I'm a bad joke, a punchline.

Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.

Pupil: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?   Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homework!

A high school biology teacher asked her class, “What part of the human body increases to nine times its normal size when excited?” “That’s disgusting!” a young girl replied, blushing. “I don’t have to answer that question!” One of the boys in the class raised his hand and said, “That’s easy, it’s the pupil of the eye.” The teacher said to the boy, “That’s correct.” Then the teacher turned to the girl and said, “I have three things to say to you, young lady. First, you didn’t do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you’re in for a big disappointment.

My old college girlfriend asked for my help with her algebra homework Unfortunately I don't solve for ex!

Hey, Toe Nose,” he said. “Get stuffed, Ben,” I said. “Original,” he said. “Original like your nose.” “You only just worked out that my nose is like this?” “It’s been obvious for a while,” Ben said. “No joke,” I said. “I don’t know how you cope with a nose like that—it’s all big and round and squishy.” “Really,” I said. “Taken a look at your own nose anytime recently? It’s pretty huge.” He did, in fact, have a rather large nose. Ben scoffed something under his breath and walked out of the classroom. It wasn’t the end of it as far as I was concerned. Instead of finishing my homework, I grabbed an exercise book, ripped a page out and set about drawing a portrait of Ben. In profile. It wasn’t the most lifelike portrait, but I absolutely nailed one part of it—his nose. It took up half the page, emerging from his face like a massive mountain. I colored in his hair, drew on ears and lips, but the nose got special attention—it was giant, pendulous, overpowering. I drew gaping nostrils, then held my artistic creation up and smiled. It was beautiful. But it was missing something, something to give it scale and put the size of the nose in context. I drew several spaceships entering and leaving his cavernous nostrils, like they were docking at a spaceport. I titled it “Spaceport Ben” and slipped it into his desk. Proud of myself, I went to lunch and promptly forgot about it.

Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

J.A.’s homework schedule was no joke. Every week there was a new short story due, and for those Penny wrote about squirrel crime mobs, post-apocalyptic plagues that only took out people over nineteen, colleges in the future where the entrance exams were assassinations, and a Buddhist who died and came back as a toy. Building a world where you rappel in, set up some characters, and ejector seat your way out was a breeze.

The conviction lodged in her head, that American children learned nothing in elementary school, and it hardened when he told her that his teacher sometimes gave out homework coupons; if you got a homework coupon, then you could skip one day of homework. Circles, homework coupons, what foolishness would she next hear? And so she began to teach him mathematics—she called it “maths” and he called it “math” and so they agreed not to shorten the word. She could not think, now, of that summer without thinking of long division, of Dike’s brows furrowed in confusion as they sat side by side at the dining table, of her swings from bribing him to shouting at him. Okay, try it one more time and you can have ice cream. You’re not going to play unless you get them all right. Later, when he was older, he would say that he found mathematics easy because of her summer of torturing him. “You must mean summer of tutoring,” she would say in what became a familiar joke that, like comfort food, they would reach for from time to time.

Teacher: James, where is your homework? A. James: I ate it. Teacher: Why? James: You said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. *** What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her!

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!

Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. ***