Hollywood Homicide Quotes

She’s hysterical, like I was in the Hollywood Homicide audition. Her hysteria frightens me and demands to be taken care of. ‘Never mind,’ I say loudly so Mom can hear it through her sobs. Her crying stops immediately, except for one leftover sniffle, but as soon as that sniffle is over, it’s complete silence. I’m not the only one who can cry on cue.

on FarmVille.

I guffawed. Like literally. Before I'd done it myself, I didn't even know what guffawed meant.

Word of caution: try not to get so caught up in the action that you shoot the idiot who keeps knocking on your front door! “He should have waited until the commercial break,” won’t earn you an acquittal for justifiable homicide.

I’ve come to realize that life’s a choice between fear and love. We all make a decision about which one to embrace. When we choose fear, it pulls us down into the darkness of despair and loss of control. Love, on the other hand, shows us how to find the beauty, meaning, and purpose in everything we do.

If all went well, we were going to make a double murderer very, very angry.