“
I have no idea how long I doze, but when I open my eyes again, the sirens have quieted. Ryder’s lying beside me, our shoulders touching.
“You awake?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I mumble sleepily. “Is it morning yet?”
“Not quite. Soon.”
I nod, and we both fall silent. Inexplicably, I find myself scooting closer to him, fitting myself against his side, seeking his warmth.
He puts an arm around me, drawing me closer.
I let out a contented sigh. There’s something so familiar--and yet so foreign--about his closeness. I think about those shared cribs, the communal Pack ’n Plays our mothers insisted on. Maybe that explains it--old memories, too far out of reach to be easily accessed, but there all the same.
That’s why this feels so…right. It must be.
I feel Ryder’s fingers in my hair, combing through it absently. His heart is thumping noisily against my ear, his chest rising and falling with each breath.
“Jem?”
I swallow hard before answering. “Yeah?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said--you know, about the eighth-grade dance. I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out what you were talking about. And”--he swallows hard--“there’s something I need to tell you.”
Why is he bringing this up now? “You don’t have to, Ryder,” I say, my heart accelerating. “You were right. It was a long time ago.”
“I know, but, well…just hear me out, okay?”
I nod, mentally bracing myself. I’m not sure I want to hear this--to open those old wounds again.
“I said some things that night, things I’m not proud of. And…it occurred to me that someone might have told you, and--”
“I heard you, Ryder,” I say, cutting him off. “I was there, hiding in those trees by the rock. I heard everything.”
He lets out his breath in a low whistle. “Shit. I am so sorry, Jemma. I didn’t think--I mean, not that it makes any difference, but I didn’t know. I figured you’d had second thoughts or something and decided you didn’t want to go with me.”
“I wish,” I mumble.
”
”