Herb Cohen Quotes

You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.

No' is a reaction, not a position. The people who react negatively to your proposal simply need time to evaluate it and adjust their thinking. With the passage of sufficient time and repeated efforts on your part, almost every 'no' can be transformed into a 'maybe' and eventually a 'yes'.

Most of us, in our civilized society, rely too heavily on reasoning capacity to make things happen. We've been raised to believe that logic will prevail. Logic, in and of itself, will rarely influence people. Most often logic doesn't work.

To successfully interact with any individual in any setup, all you have to do is determine his or her needs, then fulfill them.

Negotiation is a field of knowledge and endeavor that focuses on gaining the favor of people from whom we want things. It’s as simple as that.

The “winners” seem to be people who not only are competent, but also have the ability to “negotiate” their way to get what they want.

Information. The other side seems to know more about you and your needs than you know about them and their needs.

Time. The other side doesn’t seem to be under the same kind of organizational pressure, time constraints, and restrictive deadlines you feel you’re under.

In short, you have more power if you believe you have power and view your life’s encounters as negotiations.

His response to any question is a counter-question.

The secret of walking on water is knowing where the stones are.

There’s a way to break out of this bind: Don’t act as though your limited experience represents universal truths. It doesn’t. Force yourself to go outside your own experience by vigorously testing your assumptions.

if you happen to be a boss, you never want an employee to do exactly what you tell him to do. You want him to occasionally do what you don’t tell him to do … often what you can’t tell him to do, because many problems can’t be anticipated.

In every negotiation in which you’re involved—in every negotiation in which I’m involved—in fact, in every negotiation in the world (from a diplomatic geopolitical negotiation to the purchase of a home)—three crucial elements are always present:

Throughout this chapter, the point has been made that your winning in negotiations does not require someone to lose. Winning means managing the outcome by seeing your reality true and clear and being able to react with the appropriate strategy.

There are many people with technical expertise who lack the negotiating skill needed to sell their ideas. As a result they feel frustrated.

in every negotiation in the world (from a diplomatic geopolitical negotiation to the purchase of a home)—three crucial elements are always present: Information. The other side seems to know more about you and your needs than you know about them and their needs. Time. The other side doesn’t seem to be under the same kind of organizational pressure, time constraints, and restrictive deadlines you feel you’re under. Power. The other side always seems to have more power and authority than you think you have.

all power is based on perception. If you think you’ve got it, then you’ve got it. If you think you don’t have it, even if you have it, then you don’t have it.

Never take a risk out of pride, impatience, or a desire to get it over with.

paramour.

What really corrupts is not power, but a sense of powerlessness.

Multiple plates full of colorful elements stared back at him. Beet-cured salmon sliced thinly, sitting atop Andean purple potatoes made into a crispy cake, crowned with a tiny salad of arugula, edible flowers, and passion-fruit-pickled shallot rings, which could all be picked up and eaten in one bite, was his nod to both the South American flavors Penelope had been teaching him and his own Jewish traditions. Next he'd created a Lapsang souchong tea-smoked pigeon breast with a tamarind sauce in a flaky, herbed pastry cup (a refined version of one of his pasties), and for dessert, a chili and cinnamon-infused chocolate bon bon filled with a horchata liquid caramel.

What is negotiation? It is the use of information and power to affect behavior within a “web of tension.” If you think about this broad definition, you’ll realize that you do, in fact, negotiate all the time both on your job and in your personal life.

Power. The other side always seems to have more power and authority than you think you have.

Your ability to negotiate determines whether you can or can’t influence your environment. It gives you a sense of mastery over your life.

It’s analyzing information, time, and power to affect behavior … the meeting of needs (yours and others’) to make things happen the way you want them to.

However, in dying, both gained the commitment of followers who carried on after them, changing the value system on the face of this earth. In fact, many of us try to live by their values in our daily lives.

2. Almost everything is negotiable

He says, “Good … I’ll write up the sales slip.” You interject, “No … wait—maybe we can talk.” He arches an eyebrow and says, “When you and your wife finish discussing this, you’ll find me in Hardware,” and strolls away.