Happy Gilmore Quotes

Because here's the thing: I was fine on my own, and so are you. But it can be hard when you feel ready for Happy Couplehood and you seem to have missed the train.

Because here’s the thing: I was fine on my own, and so are you. But it can be hard when you feel ready for Happy Couplehood and you seem to have missed the train. As my friend Oliver Platt used to say to me about hopes and dreams I’d share with him: “It’s coming, just not on your time frame.

See, that was the thing they never told you about happily ever after. Sometimes, there was no happy. Other times, there was no forever. Only the after remained. I knew that better than anyone. The after was what I'd been living for the majority of my life, and it wasn't even close to the fairy-tale promise I was fed as a kid.

Because here’s the thing: I was fine on my own, and so are you. But it can be hard when you feel ready for Happy Couplehood and you seem to have missed the train. As my friend Oliver Platt used to say to me about hopes and dreams I’d share with him: “It’s coming, just not on your time frame.” I find this a helpful reminder in any number of ways: not only when you’re hoping to meet someone, but also when you’re waiting for a better job or for some relief during a bleak time.

Your diet shouldn’t have a name or be something you can tweet about using the # sign.  If you, in your chronic dieting ways must name it, it should be your first name, followed by an apostrophe s, and the word “Diet.”  So for example, what I eat is referred to as “Matt’s Diet.”  If your name is Jean Claude Van Damme, then what you eat is called “Jean Claude’s Diet,” and probably consists mostly of metal chards and King Cobra filets.  If your name is Shooter McGavin, then you probably eat pieces of shit like Happy Gilmore for breakfast.

Shooter: You're in big trouble pal, I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Gilmore: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Shooter: ... No!

Happiness is boring.

Alex was one of the few men she'd felt an instant spark with every time she saw him. And by spark she meant raging lust.

that! Damn, I wish I had seen it.

She made a happy little sigh as he pulled her closer against him and every happily ever after he’d ever read finally made sense. This was it. Happy.

We're a couple of hardheaded tender-hearted souls. A matching pair. And I miss the hell out of you. (Jake)

Do you have any idea what it's like to finally feel like...' He dropped his hands and rubbed his chest. 'I had this empty ache. Nothing could fill it, not work, not parties, nothing, and then you came along and it was like I could breathe again. (Jake)

She put her hand up with a laugh. 'Is this where I swear on a Bible?' He took her hand and placed it over his heart. 'You swear right here. You will remember how much I love you and never put the press and what they might say above us.