Goldfish Crackers Quotes

F*ck a duck and sh*t on a goldfish cracker!

I have a weakness for Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers and was delighted to find out that 55 goldfish were only 150 calories - not bad! One time, Liz brought something I hadn't tried before: Flavor Blasted Goldfish. We passed around the bag and discussed whether it was better than the original. Some of my staff thought yes, which was incorrect.

Children’s librarian seemed like a great fake profession. It’s been fun scouring online forums in search of charming anecdotes. “Today I found three Goldfish crackers in our best copy of Matilda,” I say with a smile. Or at least, Reddit user iluvbigbooks did.

Children there rowed boats, climbed trees, picked mussels, ending every summer day cleaned up and carrying the ice in the silver bucket, the Goldfish crackers, and the Scotch, down to the dock at six, where they’d stand ranged along the splintering wooden boards looking down at the white bodies of the flashing fish, while the grown-ups behind them drank as the sun fell into the sea. The Miltons of Crockett’s Island.

Crackers with a smear of mustard and a tiny bit of ham.

Years from now when my kids are older, they’ll probably think of Jesus whenever they even smell a Goldfish cracker. I’m sure this is a kid thing, not just a Christian thing, but on about fifty-one Sundays of the year, that’s what they have for snack. And at our church, if your kid cries a ton, before they flash their number on the video screen in the sanctuary asking you to come get them, they put them in a wagon, pull them around, and stuff them full of Goldfish. It’s like this little red wagoned parade of wailing in the halls. Eyes streaming tears, mouth full of fish, tiny hands clutching the side of the “Bye Bye Buggy,” counting the minutes until a parent can come rescue them. Good times.

At first David squealed in annoyance, but Dan grabbed him and brought him onto his lap. “Hey now,” he said, holding him with a firm arm around his waist, bouncing him on his thigh. “Take it easy. Only in a town of six hundred would it be considered normal to have a kid your age right up at the bar. Count your blessings.” Jack shook out some Goldfish crackers into a bowl. “His favorite,” he explained. “Perfect,” Dan said. He turned his attention on David. “So, little man, you want one?” He maneuvered the small cracker into David’s mouth. “Now. Give one to me? Please?” David thought about it a second, then slowly pushed one toward Dan’s open mouth. “Mmm,” Dan said. “Your turn.” And he plucked one out of the bowl and directed it toward David’s mouth, but pulled it back, making the kid laugh. “Oh, you want that? Can you say please?” David shook his head obstinately, stiffening his back, grinding his fists into his eyes, pushing out his lower lip. Dan took the Goldfish for himself and laughed. “Let’s try that again,” he said, picking up another. “Please?” he coached. “Pease,” David said in a pout. “Wonderful,” Dan approved, popping a Goldfish into his mouth. “You’re gifted,” Jack observed. “He’s been a real asshole lately.” “Jack! We were going to try to stop swearing!” “Yeah, I know. I think I’m doing better at that than you are, by the way. But hasn’t he been?” “He can’t help it—he’s at the asshole age. He’ll come around.” “See?” Jack said, grinning at her. “You have a rotten mouth and you can’t help yourself.” She grinned back at him. “I never uttered a single curse until I met you.” Dan focused on David. “Your parents are flirting with each other. You better have another fish. You could be on my lap a long time.” Jack

Have you ever heard of a pew rat? It’s a kid-like creature that grew up on SunnyD and the Goldfish cracker crumbs found in the church carpet.

And if I wouldn’t come off as some kind of overly personal weirdo, I’d tell her how lucky she is to wear leggings and topknots each day and to get to vacuum crushed goldfish crackers from the crevices of her minivan seats and plan easy, kid-friendly menus. What I wouldn’t give to have a taste of an exhaustion so meaningful.

Malcolm looked around the room. “Just so we have this straight. I’m going undercover in a cult that might be planning to use explosives to harm a lot of people in the name of the Bible.” He tried to quiet the rioting in his head. “I’ve slept with the mark, who we all know I want to save. The new shrink wants to get into my head, and I don’t want that.” “I really do want inside your head,” Nari said, her eyes lighting up. Mal ignored her and looked at Wolfe. “You’re a little nuts and now have a kitten in your pocket.” Wolfe nodded. “And you, our leader.” Mal focused on Angus. “Not only are you obsessed with a serial killer case that might just exist in your mind and splits your focus, but you have a high-heel-loving dog that’s also an alcoholic.” “What’s your point?” Force asked, his dark eyebrows slashing down. His point? What the hell was his point? He scrubbed both hands down his whiskered jaw. “I’m not going to ask what could go wrong. You know why? I just want to know what’s going to go right.” “Probably not much,” Wolfe said cheerfully. Then he fed another Goldfish Cracker to his kitten while the dog clip-clopped around the room and scratched up something called Jimmy Choos.

the points somewhat resemble those goldfish-shaped cocktail crackers.