Menopause Funny Quotes

I am not going to give you disclaimers about what you can expect to find in my story. I went through menopause recently and find I don't much care about anyone's sensibilities anymore. I am called BadSquirrel for a reason. Considering how incredibly rude and grouchy I have become, I expect all of you to be extremely grateful to the QMBG (Queen Mother Bitch Goddess for those of you who haven't kept up) for all of the good warm fuzzy bits of my story. If you like it, it's because she went through it and took out all the really disturbing parts and made me behave.

Nona had been bonkers since I could remember. Dad said it was menopause, but I had looked that up once, and I highly doubted that was the case.

Testosterone Autism: The person beset by this ailment....develops an interest in various tools and machinery, and he's drawn to the Second World War and the biographies of famous people, mainly politicians and villains.

No, we’re not getting married,” I told my mother on the phone when she asked. “He’s going to California and I’m staying here.” Usually she doesn't phone. Usually she just does things like send me notes with histrionic scrawlings that read, “Well, you know, I can’t use these,” and along with the notes she encloses coupons for Kotex or Midol.

Frozen shoulder happens to women in particular when we’re highly inflamed, whether because our diabetes is out of control or we’re inflamed because our best friend, estrogen, has walked out the door. The soft tissues in our shoulder that hold all the fluid and bones together are highly sensitive to inflammation. When we get inflamed, it starts to turn hot and red and shrink, literally. So, the fact that we call it “frozen shoulder” is a little funny because it’s actually a hot fire of inflammation.

Not only are hot flashes not funny, they can actually be a sign of long-term risks down the road, such as bone loss that can lead to osteoporosis. The SWAN study (Study of Women Across the Nation), which was initiated in 1996 to define and map the menopause transition in an ethnically and racially diverse sample of midlife women, found that hot flashes are also linked to cardiovascular disease.11 The more severe the symptoms, the greater the risk.