“
You left me,” he said tersely, his gaze unwavering on her.
She exhaled. “I am sorry. I am sorry for borrowing your ship, and I—”
“You left me after the night we shared.”
She tried not to think about being in his arms, when he had seemed to love her as much as she loved him. “I told you that morning what I intended. The time we shared didn’t change anything.” She saw him flinch. “It was wonderful, but I meant it when I said I had to go home. I know you are angry. I know I took the coward’s way, and I shouldn’t have conned Mac—”
“I don’t care about the ship!” he cried, stunning her. “I am glad you took my frigate—at least you would be safe from rovers. Damn it! I made love to you and you left me!”
She hugged herself harder, trying to ignore that painful figure of speech. “I knew you would want to marry me, Cliff, for all the wrong reasons. How could I accept that? The night we spent together only fueled my desire to leave.”
“For all the wrong reasons? Our passion fueled your desire to leave me?”
“You misunderstand me,” she cried. “I do not want to hurt you. But you ruined me, you would decide to marry me. Honor is not the right reason, not for me.”
He stepped closer, his gaze piercing. “Do you even know my reasons, Amanda?”
“Yes, I do.” Somehow she tilted up her chin, yet she felt tears falling. “You are the most honorable man I have ever met. I know my letter hardly stated the depth of my feelings, but after all you have done, and all your family has done, you must surely know that leaving you was very difficult.”
“The depth of your feelings,” he said. His nostrils flared, his gaze brilliant. “Do you refer to the friendship you wish to maintain—your affection for me?” He was cold and sarcastic, taking a final step toward her.
He towered over her now. She wanted to step backward, away from him, but she held her ground. “I didn’t think you would wish to continue our friendship. But it is so important to me. I will beg you to forgive me so we can remain dear friends.”
“I don’t want to be a dear friend,” he said harshly. “And goddamn it, do not tell me you felt as a friend does when you were in my bed!”
She stiffened. “That’s not fair.”
“You left me. That’s not fair,” he shot back, giving no quarter.
“After all you have done, it wasn’t fair, I agree completely. But I was desperate.”
He shook his head. “I will never believe you are desperate to be a shopkeeper. And what woman is truly independent? Only a spinster or a widow. You are neither.”
Slowly, hating her words, she said, “I had planned on the former.”
“Like hell,” he spat.
She accepted the dread filling her then. “You despise me now.”
“Are you truly so ignorant, so oblivious? How on earth could I ever despise you?” he exclaimed, leaning closer. “Would I be standing here demanding marriage if I despised you?”
She started. Her heart skipped wildly; she tried to ignore it. She whispered, “Why did you really pursue me?”
“I am a de Warenne,” he said, straightening. “As my father said so recently, there is no stopping us, not if it is a question of love.
”
”