Gizelle Quotes

Sometimes I picture my heart like the carry-on suitcase I dream I carry around the world. There's not enough room for everything in that carry-on. So I must choose carefully, wisely. I could pack the pain I have felt in the past, especially dealing with Mom. I could stuff all those grievances into my bag and drag them with me on my adventure-but that's a lot of weight to carry. So I carry with me the things I do love about my mom-her whimsical, childlike spirit, her positive attitude, her love for animals, her love for me.

Love works best when it is given without conditions.

I had to consciously remind the girl in the closet not to forget about my job of living and laughing and loving outside of the closet.

Perhaps I could even make myself a human resume. Maybe I wouldn’t even need to lie: Lauren Fern Watt: Totally disorganized. Doesn’t know what she is doing but trying to remain positive. Excellent Live, Laugh, Lover.

I hated the word “discovery” in reference to disease. The word “discover” had always seemed it should be followed by wonderous things, like buried treasure, a waterfall in the woods, a swimming hole. But I guess it was a “discovery,” like an old bone down in the dirt.

But Fernie, Gizelle didn’t just find out she has cancer. Know what I mean? This isn’t news to Gizelle. Gizelle is the same as she was yesterday in what she knows in life. She’s a dog, buddy. She’s had cancer this whole time. Maybe Gizelle has known for a while, don’t you think?

It didn’t matter that I swept up clouds of brindle fur in my apartment and scraped dried dog drool off my walls every night, or once went to work with slobber in my hair. It didn’t matter that her number twos were so large someone once told me they needed their own zip code, that my apartment turned into a Slip’n Slide every time she drank water, or that she wasn’t the neatest eater, so sometimes I’d step on half-chewed food and it felt like mashed potatoes in between my toes.

Gizelle had kept me in this cold long enough to witness the snow, and I almost felt as though she was telling me something. See, Lauren, I brought you down here to get you out of that room and feel what real loneliness is on this big empty beach. I’m going to sit in your lap right now and be here for you, but soon you will see that you can handle this. Soon I won’t be around, but you’re going to be fine by yourself. You’ll be okay. The pain won’t last forever. Nothing lasts for very long.

I carried the list in my head, happy that I had everything written down and could try to think about life in such a simplified way. Maybe life didn’t have to be so complicated after all.

I really want to get you a big dog. We're big-dog girls. You're such a big dog girl sweetie." I didn't even know what it meant to be a big dog girl, and I didn't care.