Gastroenterologist Quotes

Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!

My father owned landfills. Gary is a gastroenterologist. Totally different jobs, but my mother is just like, Like I said, they’re both in waste management. Two men, on a mission to help the country deal with their shit.

I was an infinitely hot and dense dot.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist will blow away your expectation of what late-model literature has to be. Unified by obsessions too eerie not to be real, this gorgeous rearrangement of our century’s mental furniture is testimony to a new talent of Burroughs/Coover/Acker scale.

On our last mission - our "final exam" - we were airlifted to a remote region, and we parachuted directly into a hostile enclave. We had to subdue the enemy using hand-to-hand tactics like tae kwon do and pugil sticks, cut their hair in styles appropriate to their particular face shapes, and give them perms.

i am estranged from most men. my american express card says simply: multicellular animal with specialized digestive cavities -- requires corrective glasses

short piece headlined “Elvis Died of Constipation” had run as the site’s lead story (and its middle and last story) under the category Constipation News. Why didn’t the colonic inertia theory come up earlier? Nichopoulos says that at the time, he had never heard of it. Nor had the gastroenterologist who treated Presley in the 1970s. “Nobody knew about it back then,” Nichopoulos says.

Churchill had definite views on sandwiches, insisting that “the bread must be wafer-thin, nothing more than a vehicle to convey the filling to the stomach”, as he munched happily on some cold beef sandwiches he had brought with him.13 Because of Churchill’s sometimes troublesome indigestion, Dr. Hunt, his gastroenterologist, had, in 1936, recommended eating sandwiches before going to bed, a suggestion to which Churchill agreed.14

The description given by a leading gastro-enterologist at the Mayo Clinic [of patients with chronic fatigue syndrome] remains accurate: 'the average doctor will see they are neurotic and he will often be disgusted with them'.

There is virtually no condition of human beings, physical or mental — there are a few exceptions — that we call pathology that does not reflect social and cultural background and issue. And we can't understand any of this without looking at the larger picture. Medicine is very interesting that way. If you go to a dermatologist with inflamed skin, he's going to give you steroid cream. If you go to a rheumatologist with an inflamed joint, what kind of medication are they gonna give you? Steroid very often. If you go to a lung specialist with asthma, what kind of inhaler are you gonna get? Steroid. If you go to a gastroenterologist with an inflamed intestine, what kind of medication are you gonna get? Steroids. Now what are steroids? They are copies of cortisol. What is cortisol? It is a stress hormone. We are treating everything with stress hormones. Maybe it should occur to us that stress has something to do with the onset of these conditions. And that stress is not an individual problem. Stress is a social problem. And so if we are seeing more of this or that condition, let's consider that we are looking at the manifestations of something in the culture.

A True Story Let me tell you about Wendy. For more than ten years, Wendy struggled unsuccessfully with ulcerative colitis. A thirty-six-year-old grade school teacher and mother of three, she lived with constant cramping, diarrhea, and frequent bleeding, necessitating occasional blood transfusions. She endured several colonoscopies and required the use of three prescription medications to manage her disease, including the highly toxic methotrexate, a drug also used in cancer treatment and medical abortions. I met Wendy for an unrelated minor complaint of heart palpitations that proved to be benign, requiring no specific treatment. However, she told me that, because her ulcerative colitis was failing to respond to medications, her gastroenterologist advised colon removal with creation of an ileostomy. This is an artificial orifice for the small intestine (ileum) at the abdominal surface, the sort to which you affix a bag to catch the continually emptying stool. After hearing Wendy’s medical history, I urged her to try wheat elimination. “I really don’t know if it’s going to work,” I told her, “but since you’re facing colon removal and ileostomy, I think you should give it a try.” “But why?” she asked. “I’ve already been tested for celiac and my doctor said I don’t have it.” “Yes, I know. But you’ve got nothing to lose. Try it for four weeks. You’ll know if you’re responding.” Wendy was skeptical but agreed to try. She returned to my office three months later, no ileostomy bag in sight. “What happened?” I asked. “Well, first I lost thirty-eight pounds.” She ran her hand over her abdomen to show me. “And my ulcerative colitis is nearly gone. No more cramps or diarrhea. I’m off everything except my Asacol.” (Asacol is a derivative of aspirin often used to treat ulcerative colitis.) “I really feel great.” In the year since, Wendy has meticulously avoided wheat and gluten and has also eliminated the Asacol, with no return of symptoms. Cured. Yes, cured. No diarrhea, no bleeding, no cramps, no anemia, no more drugs, no ileostomy. So if Wendy’s colitis tested negative for celiac antibodies, but responded to—indeed, was cured by—wheat gluten elimination, what should we label it? Should we call it antibody-negative celiac disease? Antibody-negative wheat intolerance? There is great hazard in trying to pigeonhole conditions such as Wendy’s into something like celiac disease. It nearly caused her to lose her colon and suffer the lifelong health difficulties associated with colon removal, not to mention the embarrassment and inconvenience of wearing an ileostomy bag. There is not yet any neat name to fit conditions such as Wendy’s, despite its extraordinary response to the elimination of wheat gluten. Wendy’s experience highlights the many unknowns in this world of wheat sensitivities, many of which are as devastating as the cure is simple.

A National Cancer Institute–funded survey of more than one thousand physicians found that nearly all doctors (94.8 percent) recommended a colonoscopy.96 Why do doctors push colonoscopies in the United States when most of the rest of the world appears to prefer noninvasive alternatives?97 It may be because most doctors in the rest of the world don’t get paid by procedure.98 As one U.S. gastroenterologist put it, “Colonoscopy … is the goose that has laid the golden egg.”99

Dr Andrew Wakefield, a Canadian-trained gastroenterologist, was vilified and eventually struck off by the General Medical Council (GMC) after rightly making a connection between mercury in vaccines and autism which has soared in unison with mercury in vaccines.

My real friends were books and adults. Books didn’t care that I could hold an interesting conversation with adults. They also didn’t care that I wasn’t quick-witted. They did care that I knew the entire anatomy of the pancreas and how to pronounce “islets of Langerhans,” or that I could quickly find logarithms at the back of my math book (calculators do that now). Books thought I was cool for having read the entirety of the V. C. Andrews Flowers in the Attic series in fifth grade and for having already determined that I was going to be a gastroenterologist. Hence, I hung out with them

Secretin stimulation test “See´-kreh-tin” stimulation test.  This is a test, usually administered by gastroenterologists, that helps detect whether a rare type of neuroendocrine cancer called a gastrinoma is present.

He's got a car bomb. He puts the key in the ignition and turns it—the car blows up. He gets out. He opens the hood and makes a cursory inspection. He closes the hood and gets back in. He turns the key in the ignition. The car blows up. He gets out and slams the door shut disgustedly. He kicks the tire. He takes off his jacket and shimmies under the chassis. He pokes around. He slides back out and wipes the grease off his shirt. He puts his jacket back on. He gets in. He turns the key in the ignition. The car blows up, sending debris into the air and shattering windows for blocks. He gets out and says, Damn it! He calls a tow truck. He gives them his AAA membership number. They tow the car to an Exxon station. The mechanic gets in and turns the key in the ignition. The car explodes, demolishing the gas pumps, the red-and-blue Exxon logo high atop its pole bursting like a balloon on a string. The mechanic steps out. You got a car bomb, he says. The man rolls his eyes. I know that, he says.

My sister is the beautiful day. Oh beautiful day, my sister, wipe my nose, swaddle me in fresh-smelling garments. I nurse at the adamantine nipple of the beautiful day, I quaff the milk of the beautiful day, and for the first time since 1956, I cheese on the shoulder of the beautiful day. Oh beautiful day, wash me in your lake of cloudless azure. I have overdosed on television, I am unresponsive and cyanotic, revive me in your shower of gelid light and walk me through your piazza which is made of elegant slabs of time. Oh beautiful day, kiss me. Your mouth is like Columbus Day. You are the menthol of autumn. My lungs cannot quench their thirst for you. Resuscitate me—I will never exhale your tonic gasses. Inflate me so that I may rise into the sky and mourn the monotonous topography of my life. Oh beautiful day, my sister, wipe my nose and adorn me in your finery. Let us lunch alfresco. Your club sandwiches are made of mulch and wind perfumed with newsprint. Your frilly toothpicks are the deciduous trees of school days.

By gradually introducing small amounts of Italian food into the diet of an Ethiopian adult, the psychiatrists are exploiting precisely those crossed wires which are buried deeply in the associative processes of the patient who has a desperate subconscious need to eat and enjoy Italian cuisine, thereby correspondingly revivifying his or her own sense of self-worth.

Even after Dr. Barry Marshall, a gastroenterologist from Australia, proved he could cure ulcers with antibiotics to kill the bacteria (called Helicobacter pylori), his theory was still dismissed for more than a decade. It was only after he drank a beaker full of bacteria, caused an ulcer in himself, and cured it with antibiotics that his theory was accepted. Dr. Marshall won the Nobel Prize for his discovery.

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etc. In the APA program abstract Dr. Jaeger wrote, “Regardless of the initial diagnosis, patients who underwent brain SPECT prior to, or during, psychiatric hospitalization had markedly shorter stays than controls. As demonstrated by this clinical database (two thousand patients), brain SPECT may lead to more effective, shorter, safer, and less expensive diagnostic and treatment modes in children and adolescents with suspected neuropsychiatric illness.” His experience completely dovetailed with mine. I wondered, “How can we not look at the brain?” Cardiologists look at the heart, orthopedic doctors have X-rays to examine bones, gastroenterologists look at the gut, pulmonologists look at the lungs, every other medical specialist looks at the particular organ they treat. And, we deal with the most complicated organ in the body. How can we treat it without having any information on how it functions? Psychiatrists are the only medical specialists who never look at the organ we treat!

The typical medical interpretation of microscopic colitis does not include the possibility of constipation as a symptom, nor alternating diarrhea and constipation, and yet many MC patients have those symptoms rather than chronic diarrhea. ...Unless a patient comes to a gastroenterologist complaining of watery diarrhea, MC will probably be completely off the doctor's radar. Few colonoscopies are done to investigate cases of constipation, and without a colonoscopy or sigmoidoscopy plus biopsies, diagnosis of MC is impossible. In cases such as these, the default diagnosis will almost surely be irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), so the patient will be very unlikely to receive any treatment that is effective at relieving the inflammation that's causing the symptoms.

Unfortunately, the disease cannot be diagnosed unless the gastroenterologist looks for it, so referring to it as a rare disease was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In 2017 I became extremely ill with flu-like symptoms and was confined to bed for a week, 2018 was filled with colon issues that resulted in a colonoscopy removing a 5mm polyp from the sigmoid colon. Intestinal pains were a feature of high altitude workplaces and I had previously seen a gastroenterologist in 2006 for extreme intestinal pains that were so severe that I was falling over with them. The removed polyp was causing malnutrition to occur and I had been high dosing with nutritional supplements to offset it. My very high altitude coworker had died from fatal colon cancer.

If we all shift to the simulacrum, then the simulacrum, for all practical purposes, becomes the real.

inhaling the sparkling light until there was no distinction between the radiance of the air freshener and myself

because most doctors in the rest of the world don’t get paid by procedure.98 As one U.S. gastroenterologist put it, “Colonoscopy … is the goose that has laid the golden egg.”99 An exposé in the New York Times on spiraling health care costs noted that in many other developed countries, colonoscopies cost just a few hundred dollars. In the United States? The procedure may cost thousands, which the journalists concluded has less to do with providing top-notch medical care and more with business plans aimed at maximizing revenue,

Take all your iridescent spandex and Lycra fitness accessories to the nearest landfill and let the extraterrestrials use them as goalpost pennants in their rollerball tournaments when they excavate the ruins of our civilization.

Yes, it appears that the microbe-rich excrement of a healthy person may be just the medicine for a patient whose own gut bacteria are infected, damaged, or incomplete. Fecal matter is obtained from a “donor” and blended into a saline mixture that, according to one Dutch gastroenterologist, looks like chocolate milk. The mixture is then transfused, often via an enema, into the gut of the patient.

Gastroenterology Specialists of Texas located in Frisco, Texas serving the north Dallas metroplex. Services include diagnosis and treatment of diseases affecting the gastrointestinal tract such as Gerd (Acid Relfux and Heartburn), IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn's, Colon Cancer Screenings.