Foo Dog Quotes

The City of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Which isn’t, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass.

We pass the same big, smelly, slimy swamp. Keely, now really panting, gives me another look. A decisive look. I know what is coming. I yell, “Keely, no!” She starts toward the swamp. I know Keely will never listen to me unless | manage to speak in a reasonable, pleasant tone. But I cannot help myself. I scream as if someone has a gun to my head, “NOOOOO!” Keely keeps walking. Gleefully, Honey decides to follow Keely. I’m still thinking, “Bedtime. Small tent.” I yell even louder. Keely looks back over her shoulder at me. Then, she steps into the swamp. I think I hear her go, “Ahhhhhhhh!” I keep yelling, “NOOOOO!” She wades in up to her chest. She sits down. Only her head and shoulders are visible above the vile goop. By now Honey has joined her. Both of my girls are jubilant. I am utterly beaten. My two dogs are covered in slime and my friend surely thinks by my cries that I’m being mauled by a bear. I’m thinking I may not be foo fond of camping.