Flush Carl Hiaasen Quotes

That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death.

and in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.

Please don't grow up to be one of those men who lie for the sport of it, and most men do. That's a fact. That's why the world is so messed up, Noah. That's why history books are full of so much heartache, and tragedy. Politicians, dictators, kings, phoney-baloney preachers-most of 'em are men, and most of 'em lie like rugs

Drink your milk,

dude ranch,

ass

Donald Trump. I

Underwood.” Normally

Whether he’s still a threat to innocent doors remains to be seen. By

floor.

finger mullet

Abbey hopped off my handlebars

Ain’t you gonna ask why I got canned?” he said. “It was for stealin’.” “Did you do it?” “Yep, I sure did.” “How much?” I asked. Lice Peeking grinned. “It wasn’t money I stole from Dusty,” he said. “It was Shelly.” “Oh.” “What can I say? I needed a lady with a big heart and a valid driver’s license.” I said, “I’ll be back after I see my father.” “Whatever,” said Lice Peeking. “I’m gonna hunt down a beer.” — My mother says that being married to my father is like having another child to watch after, one who’s too big and unpredictable to put in time-out.

dug in, but he seemed to be feeling no

One more crash,” he’d warned my dad, “and you’re fired.” The guy acting like

what-goes-around-comes-around

I didn’t tell my parents what happened because they would’ve freaked and gone straight to Dusty Muleman, or maybe even the police, which was not how I wanted to handle it.

Only Indian tribes are allowed to run casino operations in Florida, so Dusty somehow persuaded a couple of rich Miccosukees from Miami to buy the marina and make it part of their reservation. Dad said the government raised a stink but later backed off because the Indians had better lawyers.

One day he just 'snapped.' That's Mom's word for what happened. Some brat yanked one too many times on his tail, and Grandpa Kenneth spun around and punted him halfway down Main Street USA. The kid's family sued Disney World for some insane amount of money, but by then Grandpa Kenneth and Grandma Janet had already packed up and moved to Moose Lick Saskatchewan, where they opened a snowmobile dealership and never laid eyes on another tourist. We've gone up to visit them two or three times, but they refuse to come down to the Keys. Grandpa Kenneth is sure that the Disney people will have him arrested if he ever sets foot in Florida.

Cuban cigars,