Fluids May Leitz Quotes

The time of appearances is truly over. We're only souls now.

So I don’t want to be another shitty fact about Oklahoma. I want to be a shitty fact of Lauren’s. I want to be a footnote on that life instead. Wouldn’t that be nice? To be someone else’s problem?

She has kind grey eyes, like her abyss is somehow brighter than mine and everyone else's. She’s like a goddess presiding over my evening.

I’m just like my dad. He stamped out my light when I was a kid, and now I get the world back by stamping out beautiful lights.

I'm sorry' she says. "I just don't want to die in Oklahoma".

I fucked up her birthday.

I’ve always found watching other people just exist is more accurate than experiencing them directly. I figured I could have a better relationship with her if we never met.

I used to think that I was kind of like a doll. When I was a kid, I’d imagine myself taken apart like a puzzle and rearranged into a different thing altogether. If I just removed a bit of myself and mixed them that maybe I could fit together in a way that I never felt I could. Or just not rearranged at all. Just taken apart piece by piece and left in a metal drum. Either way, I wish I could just take parts of myself away and make this all more manageable, but I can’t.

I was a ball of flesh at the end of three demons playing tug-of-war. I was the rope. I was pulled and torn and then bisected. Then all at once, my flesh was dying.

I wonder what it would have been like to grow up with a mother that loves you. I imagine a mother that takes care of me when I get hurt. I spent so much of my life hurt, and all I ever wanted was someone to clean me.

But I caused this angel a lot of trouble, and as I look down on her, I realize that she's very right. She doesn't need me anymore because she never needed me. She didn't need a partner, a guide, a teacher, or anything but someone to hold her hand and tell her everything was okay. I couldn't be that much; I had to be more.

It hurts to help yourself. It hurts to make life tolerable.

She wants me in a way worse than death. She wants me for life. She wants my life.

I contemplate not existing anymore.

The people I was meant to love only made it harder on me.

We wiggled all day long. But then my friends stopped twitching and started lying around, and then they wouldn’t come when I wiggled near them. Soon I was the last worm left squirming. I wiggled and wiggled until wiggling hurt me. It hurt me so bad that I had to quit wiggling and lie down. I knew I would soon die a pale grey worm.

I feared my own lesbianism for the longest time because she told me things when I was young and impressionable.

I used to think that I was kind of like a doll. When I was a kid, I’d imagine myself taken apart like a puzzle and rearranged into a different thing altogether. If I just removed a bit of myself and mixed them that maybe it could fit together in a way that I never felt I could. Or just not rearranged at all. Just taken apart piece by piece and left in a metal drum. Either way, I just wish I could take parts of myself away and just make this all more manageable, but I can’t.

He looks up in pride at finally penetrating me. It’s my first stabbing, and he’s taking my virginity, and he’s so proud.

I feared my own lesbianism for the longest time because she told me things when I was young and impressionable. Now I’m a fucking mess, and she can’t possibly wonder why. That’s how Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents must feel too.

He tells everyone that he danced with Dahmer. You feel like that to me. Talking to you feels like dancing with Dahmer.

I want something, but I like to taste each flavor individually and run it between my tongue with euphoria. Guy, girl, they. I’m gay for whatever they have, but they seem only to bring around sadness. A body is a body.

Dr. Freud would probably tell me that I also haven’t been legitimately horny in months and am probably just beating my pussy to a pulp to spite my depression.

Sometimes change hurts us. It asks us to do more than we can feasibly do, and so it stretches us like a muscle. Growth is painful in the same way decay is. We all think it’s impossible to decay when it’s only the natural growth process in reverse. We’ve already been through it. We’re all begging for that change, but none of us can do it for ourselves, and it always hurts. She will probably be resistant, but she’ll come around and see it my way after some time. So many people live their lives to prevent growth and decay, but I’m here to help everyone embrace it.

It’s morning, and I’m gay. It’s noon, and I’m still gay. I have a feeling when it gets to be an evening, I’m still going to be gay.

Imagine being tortured to death, but you can’t get away from Lady Gaga. She will be your personal spiritual guide to the worst moment of your life.

I decide that the best way out of my life is also the most painful. Sometimes life is like that.

It feels better to be nothing than something. Death doesn’t hurt.

I don’t have to share her sentiment. I don’t have to share in her love. I am the love of her life, but she’s not mine. I am my own love of my life. I am my own mother. I don’t need anyone but myself. I don’t need anything anymore.

She’s so perfect that I can barely contain myself. My neck hurts from her grasp, but nothing has ever made me hornier. It was everything I’d hoped for, and I didn’t even have to have the awkward, “Please, choke me” conversation. My teeth ache from gripping her collarbone so hard. Electricity shoots through my veins when I remember grinding my teeth on her bones.

I’m naked in front of two people that aren’t like me at all. They don’t know what it’s like to feel so wrong. They don’t know what it’s like to feel that violation by God.

But the truth is, I love myself. I have always loved myself. I don’t need love because I don’t have an anonymous villain, and I don’t need rescuing. I can fend for myself. I am the villain. I wear the black hat with pride. I don’t need anything but myself.

I’m so tired of love because it isn’t close enough. It isn’t enough for me, and I deserve more than anyone can give me. I deserve everything. I deserve the end. I deserve their demise.

I feel like I’m being taken apart and devoured by two wolves, but I’m so happy to be eaten.

Nothing about me is easy. Nothing will ever be simple for me. I will never choose an easy fate. I have to enter my darkness.