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Charles ventured into the room — and saw then that Gareth was not alone. Cradled in his left arm and smiling adoringly up at him was the little girl he'd glimpsed last night, the little girl that he, Charles, had sired — and who would grow up calling Gareth "Papa" instead of him. Dear God. Dear God, above. His gaze flashed to the door. Gareth noted the direction of his suddenly unsure gaze. "Want to hold her?" Charles swallowed, hard. "I . . . I am not sure." "Charlotte," murmured Gareth, and Charles saw his own uncertainty reflected in his brother's eyes. "Charlotte, this is … this is, uh … your uncle, Charles." The child turned her guileless blue gaze on Charles. The smile that dimpled her cheeks abruptly faded. "Here." Gareth stood up and walked around the table, the little girl securely in his arms. "Say hello." After all, if things had gone differently, she'd have been yours. Charles tensed as his brother placed the toddler in his lap. He looked down into eyes as blue, at hair as blond, as his own, and was assailed by a hundred different emotions, none of which he could name, none of which he could, in his current state of mind, of heart, understand. Panic assailed him. This was too much. Too fast. Too unexpected, and too damned awkward. He looked helplessly up at Gareth, and in that moment Charlotte, unsure, and now fearful, screwed up her face and began to cry. Struggling in Charles's arms, she reached for Gareth in a desperate plea to be rescued by the only man she would ever know as her father. Gareth all but grabbed the child from him, making a lame and embarrassed comment about "having to get used to them first," while Charles retreated, stiff-backed, rejected, and confused. "Uncle," he murmured, softly. "Yes, and that is how it must remain," Gareth said, with a level look that brooked no dispute. "I am her father, Charles. Not you." "Yes … yes, you are." His heartbeat was returning to normal, but it was too painful to look at the toddler, this solid and unmistakable evidence of a "mistake" that he had once made, a mistake that his own brother had taken it upon himself to fix. In time, maybe he would come to regard little Charlotte with affection. With love. He certainly hoped so. But right now … right now, his heart was too raw, his guilt too great. It had been like holding a stranger's child, not his own flesh and blood. She might look like him, but the baby was Gareth's, not his. She would always be Gareth's. What
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