Et Funny Quotes

Aliens—if they exist—are little green men with big eyes and spindly arms or…or giant insects or something like a lumpy little creature.” Daemon let out a loud laugh. “ET?” “Yes! Like ET, asshole. I’m so glad you find this funny.

Hey!" said the guy in the video. "Greetings from your friends at Camp Half-Blood, et cetera. This is Leo. I'm the..." He looked off screen and yelled: "What's my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or-" A girl's voice yelled back, "Repair boy." "Very funny, Piper," Leo grumbled. He turned back to the parchment screen. "So yeah, I'm...ah..supreme commander of the Argo II. Yeah, I like that! Anyway, we're gonna be sailing towards you in about, I dunno, an hour in this big mother warship. We'd appreciate it if you'd not, like, blow us out of the sky or anything. So okay! If you could tell the Romans that. See you soon. Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!

He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. “Mmm. You smell so good.” “Oh, yeah,” I said, smirking. “I call this new perfume ‘Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.’ ” “Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.

Mourir, ce n'est rien. Commence donc par vivre. C'est moins drôle et c'est plus long." ("To die is nothing. Begin by living. It’s less funny and lasts longer.") [Roméo et Jeannette]

Family is, of course, wonderful. Three cheers for family, et cetera. At another time, we could even peruse old photo albums and speak of cousins; unfortunately, we really do have urgent business to attend to.

Greetings from your friends at Camp Half-Blood, et cetera. This is Leo. I’m the…” He looked off screen and yelled: “What’s my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or—” A girl’s voice yelled back, “Repair boy.” “Very funny, Piper,” Leo grumbled. He turned back to the parchment screen. “So yeah, I’m…ah…supreme commander of the Argo II. Yeah, I like that! Anyway, we’re gonna be sailing toward you in about, I dunno, an hour in this big mother warship. We’d appreciate it if you’d not, like, blow us out of the sky or anything. So okay! If you could tell the Romans that. See you soon. Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out.” The parchment turned blank.

Et peut-être la posterité me saura gré de lui avoir fait connaître que les Anciens n’ont pas tout su. (And perhaps, posterity will thank me for having shown that the ancients did not know everything.)

Tis a funny thing, reflected the Count as he stood ready to abandon his suite. From the earliest age, we must learn to say good-bye to friends and family. We see our parents and siblings off at the station; we visit cousins, attend schools, join the regiment; we marry, or travel abroad. It is part of the human experience that we are constantly gripping a good fellow by the shoulders and wishing him well, taking comfort from the notion that we will hear word of him soon enough. But experience is less likely to teach us how to bid our dearest possessions adieu. And if it were to? We wouldn’t welcome the education. For eventually, we come to hold our dearest possessions more closely than we hold our friends. We carry them from place to place, often at considerable expense and inconvenience; we dust and polish their surfaces and reprimand children for playing too roughly in their vicinity—all the while, allowing memories to invest them with greater and greater importance. This armoire, we are prone to recall, is the very one in which we hid as a boy; and it was these silver candelabra that lined our table on Christmas Eve; and it was with this handkerchief that she once dried her tears, et cetera, et cetera. Until we imagine that these carefully preserved possessions might give us genuine solace in the face of a lost companion. But, of course, a thing is just a thing.

Quand celui à qui l'on parle ne comprend pas et celui qui parle ne se comprend pas, c'est de la métaphysique When he to whom a person speaks does not understand, and he who speaks does not understand himself, that is metaphysics.

True, beneath the human façade, I was an interloper, an alien whose ship had crashed beyond hope of repair in the backwoods of Southern Appalachia—but at least I’d learned to walk and talk enough like the locals to be rejected as one of their own.

Ils se sont groupés, car une chose comme un pneumothorax rapproche naturellement les hommes, et ils s'appellent "l'Association des demi-poumons" [...].

Et s'ils ne sont pas morts, eh bien ! c'est qu'ils vivent encore. Voilà.

At some point, I figured that it would be more effective and far funnier to embrace the ugliest, most terrifying things in the world--the Holocaust, racism, rape, et cetera. But for the sake of comedy, and the comedian's personal sanity, this requires a certain emotional distance. It's akin to being a shrink or a social worker. you might think that the most sensitive, empathetic person would make the best social worker, but that person would end up being soup on the floor. It really takes someone strong--someone, dare I say, with a big fat wall up--to work in a pool of heartbreak all day and not want to fucking kill yourself. But adopting a persona at once ignorant and arrogant allowed me to say what I didn't mean, even preach the opposite of what I believed. For me, it was a funny way to be sincere. And like the jokes in a roast, the hope is that the genuine sentiment--maybe even a goodness underneath the joke (however brutal) transcends.

One of the foster carers kept a video library of musicals that we worked our way through en famille at weekends, and so, although I fervently wish that I wasn’t, I’m very familiar with the work of Lionel Bart, Rodgers and Hammerstein et al. Knowing I was here on the street where he lived was giving me a funny feeling, fluttery and edgy, verging on euphoric. I could almost understand why that frock-coated buffoon from My Fair Lady had felt the need to bellow about it outside Audrey Hepburn’s window.

From his beach bag the man took an old penknife with a red handle and began to etch the signs of the letters onto nice flat pebbles. At the same time, he spoke to Mondo about everything there was in the letters, about everything you could see in them when you looked and when you listened. He spoke about A, which is like a big fly with its wings pulled back; about B, which is funny, with its two tummies; or C and D, which are like the moon, a crescent moon or a half-full moon; and then there was O, which was the full moon in the black sky. H is high, a ladder to climb up trees or to reach the roofs of houses; E and F look like a rake and a shovel; and G is like a fat man sitting in an armchair. I dances on tiptoes, with a little head popping up each time it bounces, whereas J likes to swing. K is broken like an old man, R takes big strides like a soldier, and Y stands tall, its arms up in the air, and it shouts: help! L is a tree on the river's edge, M is a mountain, N is for names, and people waving their hands, P is asleep on one paw, and Q is sitting on its tail; S is always a snake, Z is always a bolt of lightning, T is beautiful, like the mast on a ship, U is like a vase, V and W are birds, birds in flight; and X is a cross to help you remember.

for some reason, he didn’t want her to look back at him with rejection or reciprocal challenge. He definitely didn’t want her to look at him as if she was mentally gauging her ability to kill him to defend herself. He wanted her to look at him like she looked at his chocolate, as if she was absorbing strength and happiness. And was in no hurry to leave it. It turned his heart all funny to think of being

If you ladies have had your fun I think you should tell Calvin and Meg a little more about all this," Charles Wallace said coldly. "You scared Meg half out of her wits, whisking her off this way without any warning." "Finxerunt animi, raro et perpauca loquentis," Mrs. Who intoned. "Horace. To action little, less to words inclined." "Mrs. Who, I wish you'd stop quoting!" Charles Wallace sounded very annoyed.

« Tu crois qu’il faut le kidnapper ? - Franchement, Widget... - Non, sincèrement. On peut s’introduire chez lui en douce, le frapper avec quelque chose de lourd et le ramener ici aussi discrètement que possible. On le mettra debout et les gens croiront que c’est un ivrogne du coin. Le temps qu’il reprenne conscience, il sera déjà dans le train, et là, il n’aura plus vraiment le choix. Rapide et indolore. Enfin, pour nous. À part le fait d’avoir à le traîner. - Je ne pense pas que ce soit la meilleure idée, Widget. - Oh, allez, ce sera drôle, proteste Widget. »

disclosure: (n.) when they finally tell us everything and nothing changes.

Amy crut opportun de nous expliquer combien elle souffrait de son exil. Ce qui lui manquait le plus ? Le peanut butter, dit-elle sans rire. Chacune de ses phrases commençait par « In Portland… ». Les trois garçons l’écoutaient poliment alors qu’à l’évidence, ils ignoraient sur quelle côte américaine se situait ce bled et s’en fichaient. Quant à moi, je haïssais l’antiaméricanisme primaire puis songeai que m’interdire de détester cette fille pour ce motif constituerait une forme immonde d’antiaméricanisme primaire : je me laissai donc aller à une exécration naturelle.

Inexplicable by Stewart Stafford I ran into Bigfoot, Or John Paul Yeti, Told me of aliens, Found by SETI. E.T.s kidnapped me, And I lost two hours, Hurts to sit down now, They never sent flowers. Nessie gives the hump, Or is it a boat’s wake? So proud to be Scottish, Bagpipes in the loch/lake. © Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.

Funny... I'm looking at Nature, but I feel like she's looking at me instead.

It's funny until it's not.

The fuck... hey, he you, what you looking at?' 'What do you think, bitch?' 'You wanna fuck me, is that what it is? But you are doing it wrong. I suggest you power down that obnoxious stare right fucking now.' 'Who the fuck are you?' 'Who am I? Funny question. Listen, you are a psycho, I am a psycho, it's not a fucking competition, is it? Now fuck off before I shove that tacky fur hat down your fucking throat that you will have the constipation of the fucking century.

I want to see your true colour. Yeah? It's black. What, is this some kind of joke? No, if it was, would it be funny? Why black? You are not even black. I'm black on the inside, with every colour on the spectrum combined.

Funny that you mentioned time, truth is, time passes but time doesn't erase. You are done with the past but the past is not done with you.

Ils vécurent heureux et eurent beaucoup d'amants.

Tis a funny thing, reflected the Count as he stood ready to abandon his suite. From the earliest age, we must learn to say good-bye to friends and family. We see our parents and siblings off at the station; we visit cousins, attend schools, join the regiment; we marry, or travel abroad. It is part of the human experience that we are constantly gripping a good fellow by the shoulders and wishing him well, taking comfort from the notion that we will hear word of him soon enough. But experience is less likely to teach us how to bid our dearest possessions adieu. And if it were to? We wouldn’t welcome the education. For eventually, we come to hold our dearest possessions more closely than we hold our friends. We carry them from place to place, often at considerable expense and inconvenience; we dust and polish their surfaces and reprimand children for playing too roughly in their vicinity—all the while, allowing memories to invest them with greater and greater importance. This armoire, we are prone to recall, is the very one in which we hid as a boy; and it was these silver candelabra that lined our table on Christmas Eve; and it was with this handkerchief that she once dried her tears, et cetera, et cetera. Until we imagine that these carefully preserved possessions might give us genuine solace in the face of a lost companion. But, of course, a thing is just a thing. And so, slipping his sister’s scissors into his pocket, the Count looked once more at what heirlooms remained and then expunged them from his heartache forever.

Je suis capable du meilleur et du pire. Mais, dans le pire, c'est moi le meilleur !

what

for some reason, he didn’t want her to look back at him with rejection or reciprocal challenge. He definitely didn’t want her to look at him as if she was mentally gauging her ability to kill him to defend herself. He wanted her to look at him like she looked at his chocolate, as if she was absorbing strength and happiness. And was in no hurry to leave it. It turned his heart all funny to think of being looked at by her that way.