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Learning from Incorrect Information
The messages that society sends you are not always accurate. Females often hear that they should be kind, gentle, and sweet, whereas boys learn that they should be tough, strong, and unemotional. These messages can create much self-doubt and low self-esteem when someone doesn’t measure up to the ideal. Often, as a result, he or she develops social anxiety.
Joella has two older brothers. When she was younger, she loved to ride her bike, climb trees, and play baseball with them. Because there were no other kids in the neighborhood, they usually let her tag along. When she entered fifth grade, however, her best friend told her that none of the boys would ever like her because she acted like a tomboy. She showed Joella a magazine article that stated that a girl should let boys feel smarter and make them feel more powerful by acting helpless.
Even though it didn’t feel right to her, Joella started trying to be “girly.” But she couldn’t help hitting the ball farther and running faster than most boys; and she wanted to do well in the science fair even though she remembered the article advised girls not to.
As a result of this conflict, Joella felt very unlikable. When she acted flirty and silly with the other girls, she felt false; but when she played baseball with the boys, she felt like she would never be feminine. She never knew how she should act. Soon, she became anxious in social situations and stopped playing baseball and going out with her female friends.
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