“
Beamer?” Sophie whispered, trying to flag him down. He put a finger up to her, then made that hand into a what-are-you-gonna-do hand, trying to make like he couldn’t get out of this call. But Sophie whisper-mouthed anyway: “Your mother!” “Well, that’s just terrible,” he said to no one as his pretend phone call took a turn and he began to walk into the office’s en-suite bathroom. “Just awful. No, no. I’d never do that.” Sophie’s contemptuous eyes were on him as he finished his fake phone call. As he entered his office, he yelled into the phone, “I can’t make these decisions for you!” in case Sophie could still hear. “I fucking hate being asked, honestly. You know that? OK, goodbye. OK, fine, bye.” Beamer made it to the bathroom; he was safe. He took his clothes off and turned on the water. He screamed beyond the bathroom to Sophie that he would be out in a second. He waited for the hot water to beat down on him and make him feel human again, and clean, like he could start his whole life over again, but now he was irritable, having gotten into an argument with no one.
”
”