Emo Philips Quotes

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Some mornings it's just not worth it to chew through the leather straps.

How many people here tonight are telekinetic? Raise my hand.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?

The comedian Emo Philips once joked that he considered his brain to be the most fascinating organ in his body – until he realised who was telling him this.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, until I realized who was telling me that.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

I used to think the human brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then i realized who was telling me this ~ Emo Philips

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence. . . sort of like the Post Office with tanks. — Emo Philips, joking about the USSR

The comedian Emo Philips once said, “I used to think the human brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” The

The comedian Emo Philips once said, “I used to think the human brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” The unfortunate fact is, most of what we come to “know” and believe is the product of the innate inaccuracies and biases present in our brains. Many or even most of our values are products of events that are not representative of the world at large, or are the result of a totally misconceived past. The result of all this? Most of our beliefs are wrong. Or, to be more exact, all beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others. The human mind is a jumble of inaccuracy. And while this may make you uncomfortable, it’s an incredibly important concept to accept, as we’ll see.

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized, the Lord doesn’t work that way. So I just stole one and asked Him for forgiveness. — Emo Philips

The comedian Emo Philips once said, “I used to think the human brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.” EMO PHILIPS

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I remembered who was telling me this. — Emo Philips