Elissa Epel Quotes

It turns out that our perspective has a surprising amount of influence over the body’s stress response. When we turn a threat into a challenge, our body responds very differently. Psychologist Elissa Epel is one of the leading researchers on stress, and she explained to me how stress is supposed to work. Our stress response evolved to save us from attack or danger, like a hungry lion or a falling avalanche. Cortisol and adrenalin course into our blood. This causes our pupils to dilate so we can see more clearly, our heart and breathing to speed up so we can respond faster, and the blood to divert from our organs to our large muscles so we can fight or flee. This stress response evolved as a rare and temporary experience, but for many in our modern world, it is constantly activated. Epel and her colleague, Nobel Prize–winning molecular biologist Elizabeth Blackburn, have found that constant stress actually wears down our telomeres, the caps on our DNA that protect our cells from illness and aging. It is not just stress but our thought patterns in general that impact our telomeres, which has led Epel and Blackburn to conclude that our cells are actually “listening to our thoughts.” The problem is not the existence of stressors, which cannot be avoided; stress is simply the brain’s way of signaling that something is important. The problem—or perhaps the opportunity—is how we respond to this stress. Epel and Blackburn explain that it is not the stress alone that damages our telomeres. It is our response to the stress that is most important. They encourage us to develop stress resilience. This involves turning what is called “threat stress,” or the perception that a stressful event is a threat that will harm us, into what is called “challenge stress,” or the perception that a stressful event is a challenge that will help us grow. The remedy they offer is quite straightforward. One simply notices the fight-or-flight stress response in one’s body—the beating heart, the pulsing blood or tingling feeling in our hands and face, the rapid breathing—then remembers that these are natural responses to stress and that our body is just preparing to rise to the challenge. •

These practices need no special equipment, and at most take five to ten minutes. Can you make a difference in your stress levels in a single day? Yes. A single day can be very influential. It’s a unit of time we have a lot of control over. We frame our life around the day. It’s where we do the work of worrying and of self-care. It’s where we establish the patterns and routines that determine our well-being. With small adjustments, you can make an enormous difference in how you experience your life. Approach this book, and each practice, with 100 percent self-kindness, flexibility, and forgiveness. If you don’t have the bandwidth to read this book in a week, then don’t. What we don’t want to do is create more stress. You can read a chapter a day or a chapter a week.

We need to shift our mindset to accept uncertainty as the defining condition of our lives, instead of fighting against it or feeling threatened by it.

If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.

Think of a situation that bothers you deeply that has already happened, or that cannot be changed, and that you find hard to accept. Close your eyes and focus

The gazelle perceived a threat: her life was in danger. The lion perceived a challenge: her next meal.

Picture each box as a heavy brick in a suitcase you’re carrying around. It exists; it’s not going anywhere. But you don’t need to carry it around with you. You can set your luggage down for a while.

She’s found that the more we feel in control and equipped with resources—what we call a challenge mindset—the more we have a positive stress response. Challenge responses are characterized by feeling more positive emotion

Within our habits

When I catch myself trying to change something that’s not within my control

The science shows that values affirmations—where you write down the core

Using challenge statements

Accept and adapt. Don’t fight against circumstances you can’t control. Accept reality

It turns out that exposing the body to manageable positive stress does the opposite of what long-term toxic stress does: it improves the health and regenerative life span of your cells

when we feel awe

frequently overconnected to screens and electronics

If you don’t put in the time for self-care

In for four

SPIRE