Elephant Insurance Quotes

Usually I spare myself from the news, because if it’s not propaganda, then it’s one threat or another exaggerated to the point of absurdity, or it’s the tragedy of storm-quake-tsunami, of bigotry and oppression misnamed justice, of hatred passed off as righteousness and honor called dishonorable, all jammed in around advertisements in which a gecko sells insurance, a bear sells toilet tissue, a dog sells cars, a gorilla sells investment advisers, a tiger sells cereal, and an elephant sells a drug that will improve your lung capacity, as if no human being in America any longer believes any other human being, but trusts only the recommendations of animals.

On the road all day, with no interest in the radio, we had not heard the news. Usually I spare myself from the news, because if it's not propaganda, then it's one threat or another exaggerated to the point of absurdity, or it's the tragedy of storm-quake-tsunami, of bigotry and oppression misnamed justice, of hatred passed off as righteousness and honor called dishonorable, all jammed in around advertisements in which a gecko sells insurance, a bear sells toilet tissue, a dog sells cars, a gorilla sells investment advisers, a tiger sells cereal, and an elephant sells a drug that will improve your lung capacity, as if no human being in America any longer believes any other human being, but trusts only the recommendations of animals.

Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% perfect girl,' I tell someone. 'Yeah?' he says. 'Good-looking?' 'Not really.' 'Your favorite type, then?' 'I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts.' 'Strange.' 'Yeah, strange.' 'So anyhow,' he says, already bored, 'what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?' 'Nah. Just passed her on the street.' She's walking east to west, and I west to east. [...] How can I approach her? What should I say? 'Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?' Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman. 'Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?' No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that? Maybe the simple truth would do. 'Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me.' No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% perfect boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.

Elephants, meanwhile, kill at least 200 people every year. So why aren’t we petrified of them?

Elephants, meanwhile, kill at least 200 people every year.

insurance against everything such as being trampled on by a herd of elephants, stung by a swarm of bees, injured by a meteorite falling out of the sky or death from contracting beriberi.