Einstein Funny Quotes

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer.

Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!

What's that Einstein quote about expecting different results from the same person? I shouldn't feel bad - I'm here, aren't I, I'm not the parent who didn't even text. Or the one who locked themselves in their bedroom half of Christmas. Talking like this, it's become clear that we are the main parts. This has all been about us, the sisters. I hadn't realised. I tell my mouth not to share these thoughts and Dana offers me another cigarette.

The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

but then again, they were like baby Einsteins on crack.

When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock. So I stopped wearing socks.

A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy' Albert Einstein

Asked in 1919 whether it was true that only three people in the world understood the theory of general relativity, [Eddington] allegedly replied: 'Who's the third?

By the power of the Tri-Force, I command you to "-------

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. -Tallulah Bankhead (1903-68) How much of human life is lost in waiting. -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-82) Only a life lived for others is worth living. -Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

... but then I was so utterly entranced by our discussion of Einstein's relative theory -" "Relativity," Ling corrected quickly under her breath. "- that I completely lost track of the time. "Funny," Ling whispered. "What?" Henry said. "Lost track of..." Ling shook her head, "never mind.

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs. No religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be pitiful if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death." -Albert Einstein

If you learn to laugh at yourself, you'll be entertained for a lifetime.

His son Peter Bucky happily spent time driving Einstein around, and he later wrote down some of his recollections in extensive notebooks. They provide a delightful picture of the mildly eccentric but deeply un-affected Einstein in his later years. Peter tells, for example, of driving in his convertible with Einstein when it suddenly started to rain. Einstein pulled off his hat and put it under his coat. When Peter looked quizzical, Einstein explained: “You see, my hair has withstood water many times before, but I don’t know how many times my hat can.

Cantor began a practice, long associated with Vallee, of introducing new talent via radio. Gracie Allen made her first radio appearance with Cantor: Burns and Allen would occasionally be mentioned, only half-jokingly, as a Cantor “discovery,” but George Burns had his own grim version of that affair (see BURNS AND ALLEN). A more legitimate discovery was Harry Einstein. Cantor was in Boston in 1934 when he happened to hear, on a local radio station, a man doing a funny Greek dialect. Einstein was then the advertising director of Boston’s Kane Furniture Company. He had been dabbling radio for years and had created a character named Nick Parkyakakas, a comedy candidate for mayor who could be heard on WNAC Mondays and Fridays at 10:30. Cantor thought it the funniest Greek impersonation he had ever heard: by wire, he offered Einstein a slot on NBC, and the following Sunday Parkyakakas played to the nation for the first time.

fear the day when technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will consist of a generation of idiots. ALBERT EINSTEIN

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. Albert Einstein