Download Funny Quotes

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If it weren't for dreams," he said. "I wouldn't know half the things I know about the future. They're better than Olympus tabloids." He cleared his throat then held up his hands dramatically: "Dreams like a podcast, Downloading truth in my ears. They tell me cool stuff" "Apollo?" I guessed, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad. He put his finger to his lips, "[Shh] I'm incognito. Call me Fred.
Rick Riordan (The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
When I started everything, and by everything, I mean life, suicide was a joke. If I have to ride in that car with you, I'll slash my wrists with a butter knife. It was as real as a unicorn. No, less than that. It was as real as the explosion around an animated coyote. A hundred thousand people threaten to kill themselves every day and make a hundred thousand other people laugh, because like a cartoon, it's funny and meaningless. Gone even before you turn off the TV. Then it was a disease. Something other people got, if they lived someplace dirty enough to get the infection under their nails. It was not a pleasant dinner table conversation, Cole, and like the flu, it only killed the weak. If you'd been exposed, you didn't talk about it. Wouldn't want to put other people off their feed. It wasn't until high school that it became a possibility. Not an immediate one, not like It is a possibility I will download this album because the guitar is so sick it makes me want to dance, but possibility in the way that some people said when they grew up, they might be a fireman or an astronaut or a CPA who works late every single weekend while his wife has an affair with the guy who drives the DHL truck. It became a possibility like Maybe when I grow up, I will be dead.
Maggie Stiefvater (Forever (The Wolves of Mercy Falls, #3))
Have you been keeping count this entire time?' I ask frowning. 'Yeah, dude,' he says turning the screen of his phone towards me. 'I downloaded a period tracker app.' I blurt out a laugh, covering my mouth. 'Oh my God.' 'Nothing funny about it.' He shrugs. 'This is scientific info.
Kristen O'Neal (Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses)
What was the very FIRST GAME Mario appeared in? a) Super Mario Bros. b) Donkey Kong c) Super Smash Bros. d) Super Mario World. What is the newest Mario game out today? a) New Super Mario Bros. b) Super Mario Galaxy. What does Luigi say when he wins a race on Mario Cart 64? What is Mario’s last name? a) Costanza b) Italiano c) Mario d) Luigi. Who is the LAST person you play in Mario Party 3 (64 version)? a) Millennium Star b) Waluigi c) Daisy d) Bowser. Correct answers: b b Letsa go (let’s go, here we go) c a. Results: 0 out of 5 – did you play any Mario game at all? The game itself isn’t very complicated. Start playing and you’ll definitely get a higher score. Right now, this is bad. These answers make Mario question his own abilities to do something right. 1 out of 5 – you have probably played Mario games, when someone made you. Come on, you can do way better than this. Even Koopas can get a higher score and you’re way smarter than them. Plus, Princess Peach is most certainly not impressed with this score. 2 out of 5 – well, you’re not totally bad, but you’re also far away from an expert. Let’s just assume you hurried to answer as faster as possible and you made a couple of mistakes. You know what they say, everything gets better with practice. 3 out of 5 – you’re in the middle; still a long way to go to become an expert, but you’re not an amateur at the same time. However, Princess Peach doesn’t want someone who’s going to be happy being “in the middle”. What does this tell you? To do your best, achieve a greater score and, of course, to improve your overall game style as well. 4 out of 5 – very good. You are just one step away from being an expert. If you continue like this, you would be able to do a better job than Mario. You know the game quite well and you would gladly go on an adventure in Super Mario style. 5 out of 5 – expert. Congratulations! You love the game, your favorite pastime is playing Super Mario and let’s face it; you’d give Mario run for his money. You know the game “inside and out” and unlike Mario, you’d actually find princess in the right castle. But, don’t let this get into your head. Always strive to do better. Conclusion Thank you again for downloading this book!  I hope you find the third volume of Super Mario joke book as equally entertaining as previous two volumes. In case you haven’t read Super Mario joke book volumes 1 and 2, this is the perfect opportunity to get those books and see what jokes, memes, and other useful and entertaining info you missed out on. Throughout this book, you got to see various jokes, memes, comics, and read about interesting Mario fun facts you didn’t know before. Besides that, the book also included quiz where you had the opportunity to test your knowledge of Mario games. Hopefully, you got the top score and even if you didn’t, you can always retake the test. This joke book is ideal for all people who love Super Mario and it’s impossible to hate this little, chubby guy. With good humor, funny memes, interesting comics, and special Princess Peach section, this book is everything you need whenever you feel sad, bored, or in the mood for a good laugh. I hope this book was able to help you understand the importance of Super Mario as well as to understand
Jenson Publishing (Super Mario: The Funniest Super Mario Jokes & Memes Volume 3)
let’s clarify what I mean when I talk about your brand’s “tone” and “voice.” Although they’re related, these concepts mean separate things. Your brand’s tone defines how you want to communicate. Your tone can fluctuate. You might be playful and funny on TikTok and more serious and informative in webinars. It’s a good idea to decide what tone you want to hit for each type of content you create. If you’re stuck, go back to the audience and the purpose of each piece of content. Your brand’s voice shouldn’t change from one platform to another. It represents your brand’s personality and includes everything that makes you unique. People should have the same experience whether they are reading your website, downloading a white paper, or reading an email from your sales team. You have a personal tone and voice, even if you have never thought about it. Your unique voice comes across no matter whom you talk to.
Kate Williams (Becoming a Click Magnet: A Content Creation Guide for Small Businesses)
It’s experience that has value, not possessions. We desire possessions because we think they’ll make us happier, but extensive research shows that once our basic survival needs are met, increased possessions don’t boost happiness levels. Meditation gives us the option of going straight to happiness and skipping the intermediate step of possessions. Acquiring them takes a lot of work and time, and all that effort can take us out of flow. We can spend a 40-year career amassing the possessions and money that we believe will give us happiness in retirement. Skipping the amassing stage and going straight to bliss gives us the end goal at the beginning. We win the gold medal before the contest even begins. Play doesn’t happen in an imaginary future in which our lives are perfect. Play happens now. We can become billionaires of happy experiences, the bank vaults of our minds overflowing with joy. That’s the only currency that counts. We’ve then acquired the end state without going through the intermediate state of getting stuff. We’ve loaded the dice, so that any and every roll produces bliss. Why not live like that every day? DEEPENING PRACTICES Here are practices you can do this week to integrate the information in this chapter into your life: Releasing the Suffering Self: That’s the theme of this chapter’s companion meditation. Use the link below to listen to this free 15-minute meditation each morning. Play the “Name Your Demon” Game: Give the selfing part of yourself a funny personal name, or ask it what its name is and write down the answer. One woman christened hers “Sticky.” Another, “Yuggo.” This exercise separates you from identification with the demon, and reminds you that you’re in control. Make the Subject-Object Shift: Whenever you find your mind wandering during meditation, simply thank your DMN by name (e.g., “Thanks, Yuggo!”) and then move your attention back to Focus. Mindfulness App: As a way of becoming mindful, enroll in the Harvard wandering mind study by using the link below to download the smartphone app. Time in Nature: Spend time in nature at least three times this week. Write those times in your calendar now, and treat them as seriously as you’d treat a doctor’s appointment. This exercise in self-care is a way of centering your mind and nurturing yourself. Journaling: In your new personal journal, write down the insights you have this week. Notice the way your mind works in meditation, and describe it in your journal. Just a few words are enough, like, “Had a hard time getting to a good place this morning. Lots of mind wandering, but I settled down in 15 minutes.
Dawson Church (Bliss Brain: The Neuroscience of Remodeling Your Brain for Resilience, Creativity, and Joy)
Doodle Jump – The “unlimited jumping” game that will keep you glued to your eyes! Have you ever challenged yourself with a simple but addictive game? Doodle Jump is the cute “addiction” you never knew you needed. With super simple but addictive gameplay, Doodle Jump has become a legend in the mobile gaming world. Let's discover why you should join this non-stop jumping journey today! What is Doodle Jump? First released in 2009, Doodle Jump is a fun arcade game developed by Lima Sky. You will control a tiny character named "The Doodler", jumping from platform to platform, avoiding obstacles and destroying monsters along the way. With a simple but cute hand-drawn graphic style, Doodle Jump has quickly won the hearts of millions of players around the world. Why is Doodle Jump so addictive? 1. Simple, accessible gameplay You just need to tilt your phone to control the character to jump. No complicated buttons, no long instructions – anyone can play in just a few seconds! 2. Never-ending score competition You will constantly want to beat your own records or those of your friends. This friendly competition is the factor that makes players come back every day. 3. Diverse and surprising worlds From jungles, outer space to oceans or special festivals – Doodle Jump offers many attractive themes, each time you play is a new journey. 4. Play anytime, anywhere Just a few minutes of free time – on the bus, during lunch break, or before bed – you can join a fun Doodle Jump game right away. "Doodle jump" together - are you ready? Doodle Jump is not just a game, it is a constant challenge for you. How many points can you get? Are you skillful enough to overcome all the obstacles? And most importantly – can you become a legend in the rankings?
Doodle Jump
An Outrageous Farmyard Challenge If you're looking for a chaotic, hilarious, and action-packed arcade experience, Crazy Cattle is the game for you. Set in a rural farmyard turned battleground, this quirky game throws you into the middle of a full-blown cow stampede, where you must run, dodge, and survive as long as possible. With fast-paced gameplay, unpredictable cow behavior, and comic visuals, Crazy Cattle offers an addictive experience that keeps you on your toes from the very first second. This isn’t your average farm simulator—this is a high-speed test of reflexes and survival instincts where only the quickest players will come out on top. Gameplay Overview In Crazy Cattle, your main objective is simple: stay alive. The game starts calmly, but quickly turns into mayhem as angry, confused, and chaotic cows begin charging across the field. Your task is to maneuver through waves of stampeding cattle without getting trampled. The gameplay features: Simple tap or arrow controls to move and dodge Increasing difficulty with each wave of cows Dynamic movement patterns from the cattle Power-ups like speed boosts and shields Random obstacles such as hay bales, fences, and water troughs The longer you survive, the faster and wilder things get. Timing and reaction speed are critical to avoiding getting flattened. Fun and Accessible Design One of Crazy Cattle’s biggest strengths is its accessible design. Whether you're playing on desktop or mobile, the game runs smoothly with intuitive controls and quick restarts. The visual style is lighthearted and cartoonish, making it appealing to players of all ages. The cows are the real stars of the show—animated with exaggerated expressions and unpredictable movements. Some sprint, others zigzag, and a few even jump. Their erratic behavior adds humor and challenge to every run. Combined with upbeat country-style background music and goofy sound effects (moo!), Crazy Cattle creates a playful atmosphere that encourages players to keep coming back for “just one more try.” What Makes Crazy Cattle Addictive? Fast-paced action with no loading delays Funny animations and unpredictable cows Randomly generated patterns for unique runs every time No complex rules or menus—just press play and start dodging Great for quick sessions or long play streaks Unlike many arcade games that rely on high scores alone, Crazy Cattle adds layers of strategy through its item system. For example, grabbing a magnet may attract useful coins, while a shield gives you a brief period of invincibility to plow through danger. Tips to Stay Alive Longer Want to last more than 30 seconds? Here are a few survival tips: Stay near the center to give yourself room to dodge Watch for patterns in cow movement before committing to a direction Use power-ups wisely—especially shields during dense waves Don’t panic! Stay calm when things get hectic Practice makes perfect: every failed run helps you improve reflexes Perfect for All Ages and Devices Crazy Cattle is a browser-based game, so there’s no need to download or install anything. It runs directly on both mobile and desktop platforms, making it a great pick for casual players, kids, and anyone who loves quick and silly games. It’s also an excellent choice for short breaks, since matches are typically under a minute—unless you’re a dodging master, of course. Conclusion Crazy Cattle is a refreshingly fun and chaotic arcade game that blends fast reflex gameplay with comedic charm. With simple mechanics, humorous visuals, and endless replay value, it stands out as a must-try for fans of action-packed casual games. Whether you’re dodging for dear life or laughing as cows fly past, Crazy Cattle delivers pure entertainment in every round. Jump in now and prove that you can survive the stampede! From slope-ball.io
Crazy Cattle