Deep Bpd Quotes

Imagining that you are deep and complex, but others are simple, is one of the primary signs of malignant selfishness.

Deep down, people with BPD know that many of their problems are self-caused, but acknowledging this can lead them down a dark hole of fear and shame.

Core Wound: People with BPD tend to be suffering from a deep wound of rejection or abandonment, which has planted an idea of inner defectiveness in them. This causes them to believe they are inherently worthless and unlovable—that they cannot be themselves, because no one will ever want that person. Note: People with BPD often think “being themselves” equates to being extremely emotional and sobbing, or being clingy and jealous, or manic and impulsive. So the protective self is on its best behavior (idealization period) until it feels safe, and then exposes these more and more dramatic qualities, until eventually people leave. But neither of these sides is who you truly are. They are both the protective self, one “perfect” and another “broken.” The protective self creates an infinite loop to keep you trapped and justify its own existence.

Remember, your loved one’s behavior is not about you. You may feel controlled or taken advantage of through threats, no-win situations, the silent treatment, rages, and other methods that seem unfair. But, no matter what the person with BPD may say, everything that’s going on stems not from you, but from the disorder, and the deep pain your loved one feels inside.

People with BPD continually feel a dark hole of emptiness inside them. This symptom is hard to explain if you haven’t experienced it. So try this. Close your eyes. Imagine you’re about to move to an unfamiliar city where you don’t know anyone, and where everyone speaks a different language. You’re going by yourself because you have no family. Now, take away all of your spiritual or religious beliefs. Then ponder what makes your life meaningful. Now pretend you can’t do or have any of those meaningful things anymore. From now on, you’ll be living without meaning. That’s how people with BPD feel, more or less all the time. This is why they may grab onto you like you’re a life raft on the Titanic. Being alone leaves them without a sense of who they are—or causes them to feel like they do not exist. They have faith that you will fill that deep, empty hole for them. But, of course, you can’t. No one can do that. One man with BPD said it was like trying to fill the Grand Canyon using an eyedropper. This emptiness is behind the chaos that people with BPD routinely cause. Your loved one gets so angry because you cannot fill that hole. And they believe that the reason you can’t is because you aren’t trying hard enough. You didn’t spend every moment with them. You didn’t fulfill their every need. You tried to have a life of your own.

deep fears I held about rejection and abandonment from past wounds. These self-sabotaging acts also made it difficult to stick with school, a job, or meaningful relationships with others, for any length of time. I would seem to do well for short periods, only to find myself back in crisis survival “rescue me” mode again and again, essentially fitting the description