Deborah Harkness Quotes

Just because something seems impossible doesn’t make it untrue,

It begins with absence and desire. It begins with blood and fear. It begins with a discovery of witches.

As far as I can tell there are only two emotions that keep the world spinning year after year...One is fear. The other is desire.

It is a blessing as well as a burden to love so much that you can hurt so badly when love is gone.

Yes, I see that you are behaving like a prince but that doesn't mean you won't behave like a devil at the first opportunity.

Sorry, we've got ghosts.

And happiness is always louder than sadness.

Magic is desire made real.

All that children need is love, a grown-up to take responsibility for them, and a soft place to land.

Se Souvenir du passe, et qu'il ya un avenir: Remember the past, and that there is a future.

My ideas about vampires may be romantic, but your attitudes toward women need a major overhaul.

I see you, even when you hide from the rest of the world. I hear you, even when you're silent.

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed (Albert Einstein)

Memories were short and history unkind. It was the way of the world.

His full name is Matthew Gabriel Philippe Bertrand Sebastien de Clermont. He was also a very good Sebastien, and a passable Gabriel. He hates Bertrand and will not answer to Philippe.

Are you smelling me?” After yesterday I suspected that my body was giving him all kinds of information I didn't want him to have. “Don't tempt me,” he murmured.

If the butterfly wings its way to the sweet light that attracts it, it's only because it doesn't know that the fire can consume it.

As far as I can tell, there are only two emotions that keep the world spinning, year after year. One is fear. The other is desire.

I was planning on starting a new file on my computer with the title "Phrases That Sound One Way to Witches but Mean Something Else to Vampires.

the first requirement of war: allies must not kill each other.

In every moment, for the rest of my life, I will be choosing you.

A ma vie de coer entier. Mon debut et ma fin. Se souvenir du passe, et qu'il ya un avenir. My whole heart for my whole life. With an alpha and an omega: my beginning and my end. Remember the past, and that there is a future.

With knot of one, the spell's begun. With knot of two, the spell be true. With knot of three, the spell is free. With knot of four, the power is stored. With knot of five, the spell with thrive. With knot of six, this spell I fix.

If you truly love someone, you will cherish what they despise most about themselves.

All you have to do is be a good listener. Nobody really wants to keep secrets, not even the dead. People leave clues everywhere, and if you pay attention, you can piece them together.

I have a weakness for smart men.

Whoever can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead.

She was like a camera that had been chronically out of focus until someone came by and twisted the lenses into alignment.

You do angry. I just saw it. And you left at least one hole in my carpet to prove it.

there’s nothing more powerful than human fear—not magic, not vampire strength. Nothing.

Change is the only reliable thing in the world.

We don’t lock up books in this house,” Philippe said, “only food, ale, and wine. Reading Herodotus or Aquinas seldom leads to bad behavior.

We kissed each other, long and deep, while my legs opened like the covers of a book.

Children needed love, a reliable source of comfort, and an adult willing to take responsibility for them.

I would rather have had this moment with you—just this one night—than centuries with someone else...

Desire urges me on, while fear bridals me.

Desire urges me on as fear bridles me" Bruno.

Normal' is a bedtime story-a fable-that humans tell themselves to feel better when faced with overwhelming evidence that most of what's happening around them is not 'normal' at all.

Somewhere in the center of my soul, a rusty chain began to unwind. It freed itself, link by link, from where it had rested, unobserved, waiting for him. My hands, which had been balled up and pressed against his chest, unfurled with it. The chain continued to drop, to an unfathomable depth where there was nothing but darkness and Matthew. At last it snapped to its full length, anchoring me to a vampire. Despite the manuscript, despite the fact that my hands contained enough voltage to run a microwave, and despite the photograph, as long as I was connected to him, I was safe.

Gallowglass returned to Sporrengasse with two vampires and a pretzel.

You tell me that magic is just desire made real. Maybe spells are nothing more than words that you believe with all your heart,

You’re impossible. Stop worrying about what other women do. Be your own extraordinary self.

These days vampires gravitated toward particle accelerators, projects to decode the genome, and molecular biology. Once they had flocked to alchemy, anatomy, and electricity. If it went bang, involved blood, or promised to unlock the secrets of the universe, there was sure to be a vampire around.

You persist in this romantic vision of what it is to be a vampire, but despite my best efforts to curb it I have a taste for blood.

In this room we understand why this war might be fought...it's about our common belief that no one has the right to tell two creatures that they cannot love each other--no matter what their species.

I wanted to know how humans came up with a view of the world that had so little magic in it. I needed to understand how they convinced themselves that magic wasn’t important.

Be still,” he said, voice harsh. “I might not be able to control myself if you step away.

In every ending there is a new beginning.

monsters always look just like ordinary men.

My life now has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything before was preamble. Now I have you. One day you will be gone, and my life will be over.

With knot of one, the spell's begun. With knot of two, the spell be true. With knot of three, the spell is free. With knot of four, the power is stored. With knot of five, this spell will thrive. With knot of six, this spell I fix. With knot of seven, the spell will waken. With knot of eight, the spell will wait. With knot of nine, the spell is mine. With knot of ten, it begins again.

To every question I have ever had, or ever will have, you are the answer.

Scholars do one of two things when they discover information that doesn't fit what they already know. Either they sweep it aside so it doesn't bring their cherished theories into question or they focus on it with laserlike intensity and try to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Giving a woman your whole life is meaningless without giving her your whole heart as well.

Occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile."..' Opportunity is fleeting, experiment dangerous, and judgement difficult.

Be yourself-- Matthew Clairmont. Complete with your sharp vampire teeth and your scary mother, your test tubes full of blood and your DNA, your infuriating bossiness and your maddening sense of smell.

It’s one thing to wander in the darkness because you know no different, but it’s quite another to enjoy the light only to have it taken from you,

The strongest distinguishing characteristic of humans is their power of denial.

I trust my wife's judgement... That's what Philippe says about Granny, just before all hell breaks loose.

I’ve seen courage like yours before—from women, mostly.” Matthew continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “Men don’t have it. Our resolve is born out of fear. It’s merely bravado.

That evening, rowing on the quiet river as sunset turned to dusk, I saw an occasional smoky smudge on the towpath, always slightly ahead of me, like a dark star guiding me home.

The most terrifying monsters always look just like ordinary men.

Ni muer ni viu ni no guaris, Ni mal no·m sent e si l’ai gran, Quar de s’amor no suy devis, Ni no sai si ja n’aurai ni quan, Qu’en lieys es tota le mercés Que·m pot sorzer o decazer.” “Not dying nor living nor healing, there is no pain in my sickness, for I am not kept from her love. I don’t know if I will ever have it, for all the mercy that makes me flourish or decay is in her power.

There is more to the game than protecting your queen" Hamish said. "Why do you find it so difficult to remember that it's the king who's not expendable?" "The king just sits there, moving one square at a time.The queen can move so freely. I suppose I'd rather lose the game than forfeit her freedom

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change. —PHILIPPE DE CLERMONT, OFTEN ATTRIBUTED TO CHARLES DARWIN

You have always been a child between, a witch apart. But there is no path forward that does not have him in it. Whichever way you go, you must choose him.

...I don't expect you to have no regrets about who you've lost along the way. How could you not have been loved before, when I love you so much?

Wordlessly I looked back at him, astonished that a kiss on the palm could be so intimate.

the wolf who wins is the wolf you feed. The evil wolf feeds on anger, guilt, sorrow, lies, and regret. The good wolf needs a diet of love and honesty, spiced up with big spoonfuls of compassion and faith. So if you want the good wolf to win, you’re going to have to starve the other one.

Within days they'd formed an unholy alliance with a foppish young French vampire in the Garden District who had implausibly golden hair and a streak of ruthlessness as wide as the Mississippi

For storms will rage and oceans roar, When Gabriel stands on sea and shore, And as he blows his wondrous horn, Old worlds die and new be born.

He walks through your future, but he's in the past as well. He's always in shadows, never in the light. And though he's dangerous, the shadowed man doesn't pose a threat to you.

English vampires may not be as well behaved around witches as the American ones are.

Sir. My lord. Master Roydon." The young man blurted out most available titles except for "Your Majesty" and "Prince of Darkness." These were implied nonetheless.

fine initium novum,’” Matthew said, gazing upon the land of his father as though he had, at last, come home. “‘In every ending there is a new beginning.

Decide what to do to survive, and do it.

Magic was nothing more than desire made real,

I see you, even when you hide from the rest of the world. I hear you, even when you’re silent.” It was a pure definition of love.

I saw the logic that they used, and the death of a thousand cuts as experimental scientists slowly chipped away at the belief that the world was an inexplicably powerful, magical place. Ultimately they failed, though. The magic never really went away. It waited, quietly, for people to return to it when they found the science wanting.

Did you know that a witch's blood makes music? Like a siren who sings to the sailor, asking him to steer his ship into the rocks, the call of your blood could be my undoing-and yours.

You have found a woman who is worthy of you, with courage and hope to spare, Matthaios.’ ‘I know,’ Matthew said, taking my hand. ‘Know this, too: you are equally worthy of her. Stop regretting your life. Start living it.

Before you I was nothing but dust and shadows. You brought me to life. And I cannot survive without you.

The secret is that I may be the head of the Bishop-Clairmont family, but you are its heart,” he whispered. “And the three of us are in perfect agreement: The heart is more important.

No wonder Philippe always looked so exhausted,” he said ruefully when he was through. “It’s very fatiguing pretending you’re in charge when your wife actually rules the roost.

Stop trying to be perfect. Try being real for a change.

Je suis à votre commande, seigneur.

The king just sits there, moving one square at a time. The queen can move so freely. I suppose I’d rather lose the game than forfeit her freedom.

Be careful, daughter....You are a creature of the crossroads, neither here nor there. 'Tis a dangerous place to be.

Her bark is worse than her bite.

I turned to leave, then whirled around and flung my arms around Philippe’s massive shoulders. How could such a man ever be broken? “What is it?” Philippe murmured, taken aback. “You will not be alone either, Philippe de Clermont,” I whispered fiercely. “I’ll find a way to be with you in the darkness, I promise. And when you think the whole world has abandoned you, I’ll be there, holding your hand.” “How could it be otherwise,” Philippe said gently, “when you are in my heart?

Your father says a wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountaintop.

My experiences thus far had me planning to throttle the first Tudor historian I met upon my return for gross dereliction of duty.

Elle a plus de courage que j’ai pensé.

I want what I shouldn’t want, and I crave someone I can never have.

We face a dark future if children stop asking questions, Susanna," Goody Alsop remarked.

I want a simple, ordinary life . . . like humans enjoy.

It’s doubtful we’re the first creatures to love those we should not, and we surely won’t be the last.

Nobody really wants to keep secrets, not even the dead. People leave clues everywhere, and if you pay attention, you can piece them together.

The door swooshed open. A tiny woman in a purple miniskirt, red boots, and a black T-shirt that read STAND BACK—I’M GOING TO TRY SCIENCE walked through. Miriam Shephard had arrived.

Matthew kept hinting that his desire - for blood, chiefly- was so strong that it put everything else at risk. But vampires weren’t the only creatures who had to manage such strong impulses. Much of what qualified as magic was simply desire in action. Witchcraft was different- that took spells and rituals. But magic? A wish, a need, a hunger too strong to be denied- these could turn into deeds when they cross a witch’s mind.

Everyone who has ever been in pain knows that morphine and magic are the same.

Some promises matter more than others.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.

Everybody thinks the library is just a building, but it isn’t.

No act of creation has ever been painless,” she continued. “Miracles should leave a mark, so that we can remember how precious they are.

Once the world was full of wonders, but it belongs to humans now. We creatures have all but disappeared; daemons, vampires and witches. Hiding in plain sight, fearful of discovery, ill at ease even with each other. But as my father used to say: In every ending, there is a new beginning.

I cannot shield you from the challenges you will face. You will know great loss and danger, but also great joy. You may doubt your instincts in the years to come, but your feet have been walking this path since the moment you were born.

You're like a galaxy born from a dying star.

It was a brutal picture, a tug-of-war between two equal but opposing impulses. It had the ring of truth, however,

Am I dreaming?” “You’re not dreaming,” Matthew said. “And, Diana?” He hesitated. “I love you.” It was what I most wanted to hear. The forgotten chain inside me started to sing, quietly, in the dark.

I watched in silence as the parts of Matthew I knew and loved—the poet and the scientist, the warrior and the spy, the Renaissance prince and the father—fell away until only the darkest, most forbidding part of him remained. He was only the assassin now. But he was still the man I loved.

Turn to me with all your heart. Do not refuse me because I am dark and shadowed. The fire of the sun has altered me. The seas have encompassed me. The earth has been corrupted because of my work. Night fell over the earth when I sank into the miry deep, and my substance was hidden.” The Moon Queen held a star in one outstretched palm. “From the depths of the water I cried out to you, and from the depths of the earth I will call to those who pass by me,” I continued. “Watch for me. See me. And if you find another who is like me, I will give him the morning star.

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.

But it's too soon for me to imagine losing you.

One should find wholeness in marriage, Gabriel, but it should not be a prison for either party,” said Rabbi Loew.

Still, you need him as much as you need the air you breathe, and he wants you as he’s wanted nothing and no one since I made him. So it is done, and we will make the best of it.

War is such a waste of women’s time.

and if we all did what we should, we would wake to find ourselves in paradise

a willingness to change was the secret of survival.

Much of what qualified as magic was simply desire in action...Magic is desire made real.

I had been in 1590 for less than twenty-four hours, but I was already heartily sick of Christopher Marlowe.

Why do today’s women think it’s important to open a door themselves?” he said sharply. “Do you believe it’s a testament to your physical power?

If you truly love someone, you will cherish what they despise most about themselves" - Fernando Conclaves

We’re witches—of course the house is haunted.

If you’re angry with me, say it. If I’ve done something you don’t like, tell me. If you want to end this marriage, have the courage to end it cleanly so that I might—might—be able to recover from it. Because if you keep looking at me as though you wish we weren’t married, you’re going to destroy me.

Ysabeau wanted me to know she approved of you. Like the gold from which it is made, you are steadfast. You hide many secrets within you, just as the bands of the ring hide the poesies from view. But it is the stone that best captures who you are: bright on the surface, fiery within, and impossible to break.

Let me love you forever.

I just killed a man! This isn't the moment to discuss our marriage." "Nonsense. Marrying amid bloodshed is a de Clermont family tradition," Philippe said briskly.

As I am the end, so my lover is the beginning. I encompass the whole work of creation, and all knowledge is hidden in me.

Because you will love him as you love no one else, I tied your magic to your feelings for him. Even so, only you will have the ability to draw it into the open.

The goddess does not want us to imitate some ideal of perfection, but to be our true selves.

The scars don't bother me. They are just signs that I've fought and survived.

He was so worthy of being loved; I didn’t want him to be alone. Something in my expression must have revealed what was on my mind. “No pity, Auntie. The winds do not always blow as the ship desires,” he murmured, tucking me into my chair. “The winds do what I tell them to do.” “And I plot my own course.

Rebecca asked me what made the most lasting impression on children. I told her it was the stories their parents read to them at night, and all the messages about hope and strength and love that were embedded in them.

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

Do you wonder what it would be like for me to taste you?

Like all parents, they were just doing their best from moment to moment.

Matthew feels deeply. It is a blessing as well as a burden to love to love so much that you can hurt badly when love is gone.

Alchemy is the story of creation, told chemically. Creatures are chemistry, mapped onto biology.

Diana's eyes were the blue and gold of a summer sky, and Matthew wanted nothing more than to fall headlong into their bright depths, not to lose himself but to be found

Folks are always in favor of fairness, until they have to give up something they have to someone else.

They fear us because we are different. Fear breeds contempt, then hate. It is a familiar story.

Vote?” Matthew said, incredulous. “Since when did we vote in this family?” “Since Marcus took over the Knights of Lazarus,” Gallowglass replied, drawing a silver lighter from his pocket. “We’ve been choking on democracy since the day you left.

Diana: You are everything we dreamed you would one day become. Life is the strong warp of time. Death is only the weft. It will be because of your children, and your children’s children, that I will live forever. Dad   P.S. Every time you read “something is rotten in the state of Denmark” in Hamlet, think of me.

Einstein said that all physicists were aware that the distinctions between past, present, and future were only what he called ‘a stubbornly persistent illusion.’ Not only did he believe in marvels and wonders, he also believed in the elasticity of time.

Nightmares are like Master Harriot’s star glass. They are a trick of the light, one that makes something distant seem closer and larger than it really is.” “Oh.” Jack considered Matthew’s response. “So even if I see a monster in my dreams, it cannot reach me?” Matthew nodded. “But I will tell you a secret. A dream is a nightmare in reverse. If you dream of someone you love, that person will seem closer, even if far away.

For us to be together, we needed to decide which secrets to share and then let the others go.

I know,I can smell it, too,

Neither his family nor his next taste of blood mattered as much as knowing that she was safe and within arm’s reach. If that was what it meant to be bewitched, he was a lost man.

Give me knowledge of my end and the measure of my days, so I may know my fraility. My lifetime is no longer than the width of my hand. It is only a moment, compared to yours.

En quelques jours, ils avaient noué une alliance malsaine avec un jeune et élégant vampire français du Garden District aux cheveux blonds improbables, et totalement dénué de scrupules.

Too soon? There is no such thing,” Ysabeau said. “We are, all of us, asked to grow up too quickly. It is the way the gods remind us that life, no matter how long, is still but a breath.

From the depths of the water I cried out to you, and from the depths of the earth I will call to those who pass by me. Watch for me. See me. And if you find another who is like me, I will give him the morning star.

You’re taking this very well, Gallowglass,” Diana said gratefully. “Matthew would be trying to talk me out of it.” “That’s what you get for falling in love with the wrong man,” he said under his breath, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

I have a master’s degree in medieval literature. Wyverns—or firedrakes, if you prefer—were once common in European mythology and legends.” “But you . . . you’re my accountant,” Sarah sputtered. “Do you have any idea how many English majors are accountants?” Vivian asked with raised eyebrows.

Everyone in the family knew that the quickest way to soothe my ruffled feathers was to put a book in one of my hands and a cup of tea in the other.

Are you always like this? All dressed up in adrenaline and no place to go?

Take care, Gallowglass,” Matthew murmured. It was no casual farewell, but an order. His nephew nodded. “As if your wife were my own.

We spend our time striving and straining to be something that we’re not. Let those desires go. Honor who you are.

Think and stay alive. - Phillipe de Clermont

The next morning was grey and much more typical of early autumn. All I wanted to do was cocoon myself in layers of sweaters and stay in my room.

Saying no takes courage—far more courage than saying yes.

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason. —THOMAS PAINE

No, I’m a vampire.” Matthew stepped forward, joining Chris under the projector’s light. “And before you ask, I can go outside during the day and my hair won’t catch fire in the sunlight. I’m Catholic and have a crucifix. When I sleep, which is not often, I prefer a bed to a coffin. If you try to stake me, the wood will likely splinter before it enters my skin.” He bared his teeth. “No fangs either. And one last thing: I do not, nor have I ever, sparkled.” Matthew’s face darkened to emphasize the point. I

Witches see the truth plainly—even if their husbands are full of nonsense.

The family never puts ‘surely’ and ‘Philippe’ in the same sentence. It always ends badly.

...empathy is the most important power there is. Without it, we are doomed. With it, we can truly change the world. (interview from USC)

Matthew had been accumulating secrets...My life might be too brief to hear them all, never mind understand them.

Now I have you. One day you will be gone, and my life will be over.

Oh, yes. I know all about vampires and their crazy ways.” Apparently, Fernando didn’t have the same reluctance as Matthew and Ysabeau did to tell vampire tales.

Survival and sexuality were linked in ways I’d never appreciated until now.

Rules may teach you to be blindly obedient, but they’re no real protection against the world,

Mark me well, Diana: Lives will be lost because of your love for my son... What does it matter who deals the deathblow? If you do not do it, then Matthew will.

I could still feel the chain that anchored me to Matthew, witch to vampire.

Magic was nothing more than desire made real, after all.

It is I who mediates the elements, bringing each into agreement...I make what is moist dry again, and what is dry I make moist. I make what is hard soft again, and harden that which is soft. As I am the end, so my lover is the beginning. I encompass the whole work of creation, and all knowledge is hidden in me...Who will dare to separate me from my love? No one, for our love is as strong as death.

Sex and dominance. It’s what modern humans think vampire relationships are all about,” I said. “Their stories are full of crazed alpha-male vampires throwing women over their shoulders before dragging them off for dinner and a date.” “Dinner and a date?” Matthew was aghast. “Do you mean . . . ?” “Uh-huh. You should see what Sarah’s friends in the Madison coven read. Vampire meets girl, vampire bites girl, girl is shocked to find out there really are vampires. The sex, blood, and overprotective behavior all come quickly thereafter. Some of it is pretty explicit.” I paused. “There’s no time for bundling, that’s for sure. I don’t remember much poetry or dancing either.” Matthew swore. “No wonder your aunt wanted to know if I was hungry.” “You really should read this stuff, if only to see what humans think. It’s a public-relations nightmare. Far worse than what witches have to overcome.

If the thirsty stag runs to the brook, it's only because he isn't aware of the cruel bow...If the unicorn runs to its chaste nest, it's only because he doesn't see the noose prepared for him.

Philippe paused on his way out the door. “You have found a woman who is worthy of you, with courage and hope to spare, Matthaios.” “I know,” Matthew said, taking my hand. “Know this, too: You are equally worthy of her. Stop regretting your life. Start living it.

You don't feel this way now, but you're lucky to have found her at last...But is she lucky, Hamish? Is she fortunate to have a creature like me in pursuit?...That's entirely up to you. Just remember-no secrets. Not if you love her.

Everytime I pick up a book or a document from the past, I’m in a battle with people who lived hundreds of years ago. They have their secrets and obsessions— all the things they won’t or can’t reveal.

It pained Emily to her librarian’s soul to see books mistreated like this.

The daemon glanced at his watch. The day was young, but he already knew why his friend was in Scotland. Matthew Clairmont was falling in love.

I trust my wife's judgement," Matthew said firmly. "That's what Philippe says about Granny," Gallowglass muttered under his breath. "Just before all hell breaks lose.

Messy? So is life. Stop trying to be perfect. Try being real for a change.

All men are fools, Your Majesty,” Matthew said swiftly.

I promise not to draw blood, if you promise not to weep.

Feisty, am I? My husband is a member of the Congregation. A posse of men is coming on horseback to accuse me of harming a friendless old woman. I’m in a strange place and keep getting lost on my way to the bedroom. I still have no shoes. And I’m living in a dormitory full of adolescent boys who never stop talking!” I fumed. “But you needn’t trouble yourself on my account. I can take care of myself!

Turn to me with all your heart. Do not refuse me because I am dark and shadowed. The fire of the sun has altered me. The seas have encompassed me. The earth has been corruot d because of my work. Night fell over the earth when I sank into the miry deep, and my substance was hidden.

Sol in Leo She who is born when the sun is in Leo shall be naturally subtle and witty, and desirous of learning. Whatsoever the heareth or seeth if it seems to comprise any difficulty of matter immediately will she desire to know it. The magic sciences will do her great stead. She shall be familiar to and well beloved by princes. Her first child shall be a female, and the second a male. During her life she shall sustain many troubles and perils.

Gallowglass extended his hand farther and hoped that the tea’s aroma would persuade her to indulge. “It’s Scottish Breakfast tea. One of your favorites.” “Get thee behind me, Satan,” Diana grumbled, taking the mug.

I can tell you as a scientist Diana, that there's no such thing as 'normal'." His voice was losing its careful softness. "'Normal' is a bedtime story-a fable- that humans tell themselves to feel better when faced with overwhelming evidence that most of what's happening around them is not 'normal' at all

Fear.’ My mother had warned me of its power, but I had misunderstood, as children often do. I’d thought it was the fear of others that I needed to guard against, but it was my own terror. Because of that misunderstanding, I’d let the fear take root inside me until it clouded my thoughts and affected how I saw the world. Fear

To be a vampire you must choose life—your life, not someone else’s—over and over again, day after day,” Ysabeau said. “You must choose it over sleep, over peace, over grief, over death. In the end, it is our relentless drive to live that defines us. Without that, we are nothing but a nightmare or a ghost: a shadow of the humans we once were.

Baldwin had never grasped the concept of atonement. His view of Matthew’s faith was purely transactional—you went to church, confessed, and walked out a clean man. But salvation was more complicated. Philippe had come to understand that in the end, although he had long found Matthew’s constant search for forgiveness irritating and irrational.

According to my grandmother’s people, two wolves live inside every creature: one evil and the other good. They spend all their time trying to destroy each other.” It was, Matthew thought, as good a description of blood rage as he was ever likely to hear from someone not afflicted with the disease. “My bad wolf is winning.” Jack looked sad. “He doesn’t have to,” Chris promised. “Nana Bets said the wolf who wins is the wolf you feed. The evil wolf feeds on anger, guilt, sorrow, lies, and regret. The good wolf needs a diet of love and honesty, spiced up with big spoonfuls of compassion and faith. So if you want the good wolf to win, you’re going to have to starve the other one.

If we are at war, we’re not fighting for a bewitched alchemical manuscript, or for my safety, or for our right to marry and have children. This is about the future of all of us.” I saw that future for just a moment, its bright potential spooling away in a thousand different directions. “If our children don’t take the next evolutionary steps, it will be someone else’s children. And whiskey isn’t going to make it possible for me to close my eyes and forget that. No one else will go through this kind of hell because they love someone they’re not supposed to love. I won’t allow it.

I was jealous of Blanca, but Matthew wouldn't understand how or why. I gathered my thoughts and emotions and tried to sort them into something that was both true and would make sense to him. "I don't mind one moment of love you've shared with any creature, living or dead," "I said emphatically, "as long as you want to be with me, right at this moment." "Just at this moment?" He asked, his eyebrow arching up into a question mark. "This is the only moment that matters." It all seemed so simple. "No one who has lived as long as you have comes without a past, Matthew. You weren't a monk, and I don't expect you to have no regrets about who you lost along the way. How could you not have been loved before when I've loved you so much?

What’s the truth in the story about vampires not being allowed inside without an invitation?” Having pressed him on his diet, I focused on the entrance protocols. “Humans are with us all the time. They just refuse to acknowledge our existence because we don’t make sense in their limited world. Once they allow us in—see us for who we really are—then we’re in to stay, just as someone you’ve invited into your home can be hard to get rid of. They can’t ignore us anymore.” “So it’s like the stories of sunlight,” I said slowly. “It’s not that you can’t be in sunlight, but when you are, it’s harder for humans to ignore you. Rather than admit that you’re walking among them, humans tell themselves you can’t survive the light.

It showed a tiny baby girl floating in a clear glass vessel. The baby held a silver rose in one hand, a golden rose in the other. On its feet were tiny wings, and drops of red liquid showered down on the baby’s long black hair. Underneath the image was a label written in thick black ink indicating that it was a depiction of the philosophical child—an allegorical representation of a crucial step in creating the philosopher’s stone, the chemical substance that promised to make its owner healthy, wealthy, and wise. The colors were luminous and strikingly well preserved. Artists had once mixed crushed stone and gems into their paints to produce such powerful colors. And the image itself had been drawn by someone with real artistic skill. I had to sit on my hands to keep them from trying to learn more from a touch here and there.