Dam Funny Quotes

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Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." ... I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.
Rick Riordan (The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Ride?" Rhage snorted. "Please. That thing is a sewing machine with an air dam taped to it. My GTO could dust the fucker in fourth gear from a dead stop." When there was an odd sound from behind, John looked back. So did the three Brothers. "What." Xhex bristled and crossed her arms over her chest. "I can laugh, you know. And that's . . . pretty damn funny." Rhage beamed. "I knew I liked you.
J.R. Ward (Lover Mine (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #8))
Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt." I busted up, and I probably would've kept laughing all day, but then I heard a noise: "Moooo." The smile melted off my face. I wondered if the noise was just in my head, but Grover had stopped laughing too. He was looking around, confused. "Did I just hear a cow?" "A dam cow?" Thalia laughed.
Rick Riordan (The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Yes, I may be a loser, but I'm the best dam loser you'll ever meet
dazai osamu (No Longer Human)
I’m not great at talking to people. I have all these thoughts bunching up inside my head and then they come out like a dam bursting or something. I’m sorry.
Roland Merullo (The Talk-Funny Girl)
Yes, I may be a loser, but I'm the best dam loser you'll ever meet
Osamu Dazai
Let us find the dam snack bar,’ Zoë said. ‘We should eat while we can.’ Grover cracked a smile. ‘The dam snack bar?’ Zoë blinked. ‘Yes. What is funny?’ ‘Nothing,’ Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. ‘I could use some dam French fries.
Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson: The Complete Series (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #1-5))
Funny, there had been a time when building things was what America did. From massive dams to towering skyscrapers, from mechanized factories to moon rockets, the nation had created, had viewed that as part of the national identity.
Marcus Sakey (A Better World (Brilliance Saga, #2))
Funny, there had been a time when building things was what America did. From massive dams to towering skyscrapers, from mechanized factories to moon rockets, the nation had created, had viewed that as part of the national identity. Being an engineer or an architect had once been high aspirations. Now everybody wanted to be musicians and basketball players, and America didn’t build squat.
Marcus Sakey (A Better World (Brilliance Saga, #2))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.” (The Titan’s Curse - chapter 14 page 208)
Rick Riordan (The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
So even if you got it loaded it could not be anything more than a study in still-life until you took the jacks away, and then the scrap metal wouldn't be funny.
Paul Brickhill (The Dam Busters)
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.” Even Thalia smiled at that. “And I need to use the dam restroom.” Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoë just looked at us. “I do not understand.” “I want to use the dam water fountain,” Grover said. “And…” Thalia tried to catch her breath. “I want to buy a dam T-shirt.
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Funny, there had been a time when building things was what America did. From massive dams to towering skyscrapers, from mechanized factories to moon rockets, the nation had created, had viewed that as part of the national identity. Being an engineer or an architect had once been high aspirations.
Marcus Sakey (A Better World (Brilliance Saga, #2))
See that stream over there?" I stretch an arm to point out the small branch coming off the lake. "It's fed off the mountain thaw. So is this lake. There's kind of a funny story to it. the stream runs all the way down into our neighbors property. Our neighbor, Mr Fitzgerald-he's gone now- didn't like it so close to their barn. For years, he'd try to stop it. My granddad would hep him. they'd dump gravel and dirt. One year, they built a dam. But every single spring, the water would find it's way onto the Fitzgerald property." I chuckle, remembering the two old men standing over the stream, scratching their beards in wonder. "finally they just gave up and let it be. Realized there was no stopping it. The water was going to go where it was meant to go." I feel a smile touch my lips. "My granddad used to tell us that story every spring, when we came out here after the thaw. Of course, it wasn't just a story to him. He turned it into a life lesson about telling the truth. I had a problem with lying when I was little," I admit, sheepishly. "He said the truth is like water: it doesn't matter how hard you try to bury it; it'll always find someway back to the surface. It's resilient.
K.A. Tucker (Burying Water (Burying Water, #1))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.” Even Thalia smiled at that. “And I need to use the dam restroom
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.” Even Thalia smiled at that. “And I need to use the dam restroom.
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Addo: 'Thank you for letting me know, Charlotte.' 'Madam.' She corrects, doting the name softly in the air with her finger. 'Excuse me, of course, Ma...dam.' When Addo says Madam, he says it funny like my damn, which makes Brandon and Mark snicker from their seats. Although Addo doesn't turn to look at them, his grin assures me that the next words are more for their benefit than Ms. Fisk's. 'So that would make you...My Damn Fisk
Misty Provencher (Keystone (Cornerstone, #2))
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I’m exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I’d guess about 29." The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I’m 50." Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I’d say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I’m 50, but thank you!" While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. If you permit me to put my hands under your bra, then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, " Ma dam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man says, "Promise you won’t get mad?" "I promise I won’t," she says. "I was behind you in McDonald’s.
Adam Smith (Funny Jokes: Ultimate LoL Edition (Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Anecdotes, Best jokes, Jokes for Adults) (Comedy Central Book 1))
Funny, there had been a time when building things was what America did. From massive dams to towering skyscrapers, from mechanized factories to moon rockets, the nation had created, had viewed that as part of the national identity. Being an engineer or an architect had once been high aspirations. Now everybody wanted to be musicians and basketball players, and America didn’t build squat. But out
Marcus Sakey (A Better World (Brilliance Saga, #2))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.” Even Thalia smiled at that. “And I need to use the dam restroom.” Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoë just looked at us. “I do not understand.” “I want to use the dam water fountain,” Grover said. “And…” Thalia tried to catch her breath. “I want to buy a dam T-shirt.” I busted up, and I probably would’ve kept laughing all
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
You know those times when you are driving down the same street for years, and you think you know it perfectly? Then one day, you’re going along, and something stands out, something that has always been there, but you never really noticed it before. Maybe it’s a building, maybe it's a street sign, just something that you never gave much thought to. But one day, you notice it for real. Some things you don’t see until you really see them, and then that’s all you see. And you wonder how you ever missed something so beautiful, so perfect, when it was right in front of you all this time. When I saw her at that party, that’s what it was like. Like I was seeing her for the first time. I always knew she was pretty, that she was smart and funny. But I never let myself pay attention. I could list off hundreds of reasons for why that happened. But once I really saw her, there was no going back. Then that bet happened. I kissed her to help her out. It was like the dam broke with that one kiss.
T.J. Lee (Last Christmas)
Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom.
Rick Riordan (The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.” Even Thalia smiled at that. “And I need to use the dam restroom.” Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoë just looked at us. “I do not understand.” “I want to use the dam water fountain,” Grover said. “And…” Thalia tried to catch her breath. “I want to buy a dam T-shirt.” I busted up,
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
As Jasper, Major Craven, and Old Tug skirt the pond toward the beaver dam, Becky says to me, “I must be a better cook than I thought!” I blink. “It must be from all the practice.” I step forward to grab the table, just like I’ve done hundreds of times, but I stop short, laughing. “What’s so funny?” Becky asks. “I was about to put the table away in the wagon. Then I remembered we don’t have a wagon anymore.” She grins.
Rae Carson (Like a River Glorious (The Gold Seer Trilogy, #2))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." Maybe it was the fact that we were so tired and strung out emotionally, but I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at us. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt." I busted up, and I probably would've kept laughing all day, but then I heard a noise: "Moooo." The smile melted off my face. I wondered if the noise was just in my head, but Grover had stopped laughing too. He was looking around, confused. "Did I just hear a cow?" "A dam cow?" Thalia laughed
Rick Riordan
Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom.
Rick Riordan (The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))
Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.” Grover cracked a smile. “The dam snack bar?” Zoë blinked. “Yes. What is funny?” “Nothing,” Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. “I could use some dam french fries.
Rick Riordan (The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #3))