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Suppose your beloved says she doesn’t love you anymore. If you listen only on the surface, you think she’s had enough of you and wants to leave. Of course, that makes you sad. But if you listen deeply, with all your heart, you might hear something else—that she’s suffering and her needs are not being met, perhaps her needs for attention and connection. Rather than feeling hurt or attacked and storming off, you can try harder to be deeply present at such a critical moment. If you do, you might uncover truths that neither of you realized.
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