Covey Quotes

But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.

Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.

Isn't it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.

When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.

If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control - myself.

We are free to choose our actions, . . . but we are not free to choose the consequences of these actions.

Start with the end in mind.

We are free to choose our paths, but we can't choose the consequences that come with them.

To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.

Strength lies in differences, not in similarities

Two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It's not logical; it's psychological.

Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

Habit 1: Be Proactive Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Habit 3: Put First Things First Habit 4: Think Win/Win Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Habit 6: Synergize Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

We become what we repeatedly do.

We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour.

To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on holy ground.

Courage isn't absenct of fear, it is the awareness that something else is important

It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgment. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.

Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.

to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.

Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.

There are three constants in life... Change, Choice and Principles.

Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).

The way we see the problem is the problem.

Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.

People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them.

At some time in your life, you probably had someone believe in you when you didn't believe in yourself.

It comes from within.

The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.

Music makes everything more romantic, doesn't it? One second you're walking your dog in the suburbs, and then you put on Adele, and it's like you're in a movie and you've just had your heart brutally broken.

Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic

My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can i do?" "The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked. "That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?" "love her," I replied. "I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore." "Love her." "You don't understand. the feeling of love just isn't there." "Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her." "But how do you love when you don't love?" "My friend , love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?

The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.

If you want to have a more pleasant,cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, emphatic, consistent, loving parent.

If you decide to just go with the flow, you'll end up where the flow goes, which is usually downhill, often leading to a big pile of sludge and a life of unhappiness. You'll end up doing what everyone else is doing.

Live, love, laugh, leave a legacy.

Without involvement, there is no commitment. Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it. No involvement, no commitment.

Ineffective people live day after day with unused potential.

You can't talk your way out of a problem you behaved your way into!

Live out of your imagination, not your history.

Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education.

As you care less about what people think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves.

There's no better way to inform and expand you mind on a regular basis than to get into the habit of reading good literature.

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.

If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.

Words are like eggs dropped from great heights. You could no more call them back then ignore the mess they left when they fell.

People simply feel better about themselves when they’re good at something.

It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

How you treat the one reveals how you regard the many, because everyone is ultimately a one.

Education must be a lifelong pursuit. The person who doesn't read is not better off than the person who can't.

How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.

people have character strength but they lack communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well.

Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow.

Instead of playing to win, I was playing not to lose. It reminds me of the story I once heard about two friends being chased by a bear, when one turned to the other and said, "I just realized that I don't need to outrun the bear; I only need to outrun you.

The core of any family is what is changeless, what is going to be there──shared vision and values.

Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it / immediately.

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

Wait, I thought I was your dream guy,' Peter says. Not to me, to Kitty. He knows he's not my dream guy. My dream guy is Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables. Handsome, loyal, smart in school.

leadership is communicating others’ worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.

Honesty is always the best policy, even when it's not the trend.

We broke so easily. Like it was nothing. Like we were nothing. Does that mean it was never meant to be in the first place? That we were an accident of fate? If we were meant to be, how could we both walk away like that?

Trust is equal parts character and competence... You can look at any leadership failure, and it's always a failure of one or the other.

Treat them all the same by treating them differently.

Don't wait until people are dead to give them flowers.

Life is a mission, not a career. A career is a profession, a mission is a cause. A career asks, What's in it for me? A mission asks, How can I make a difference?

I like how Mother Teresa put it: "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile." If you approach life this way, always looking for ways to build instead of to tear down, you'll be amazed at how much happiness you can give to others and find for yourself

When air is charged with emotions, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection.

The person who doesn’t read is no better off than the person who can’t read.

Independent will is our capacity to act. It gives us the power to transcend our paradigms, to swim upstream, to rewrite our scripts, to act based on principle rather than reacting based on emotion or circumstance.

Small changes can make huge destination differences.

We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.

The only person I know, is the person I want to be

Where we stand depends on where we sit." Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them.

We must look at the lens through we see the world, as well as the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.

As long as you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem

To maintain the P/PC Balance, the balance between the golden egg (production) and the health and welfare of the goose (production capability) is often a difficult judgment call. But I suggest it is the very essence of effectiveness.

The undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions

Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.

I think the most significant work we'll do in our whole life, in our whole world is done within the four walls of our home.

A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.

Attending church does not necessarily mean living the principles taught in those meeting. You can be active in a church but inactive in its gospel.

All the events of your past have formed a lens, or paradigm, through which you see the world. And since no one's past is exactly like anyone else's, no two people see alike.

Each of us guard a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.

But borrowing strength builds weakness.

When it’s time to leave, we put on our shoes, kiss Daddy good-bye, and tumble out the front door. Waiting for us on the street in front of his car is Peter with a bouquet of cellophane-wrapped pink carnations. “Happy birthday, kid,” he says. Kitty’s eyes bulge. “Are those for me?” He laughs. “Who else would they be for? Hurry and get in the car.” Kitty turns to me, her eyes bright, her smile as wide as her face. I’m smiling too. “Are you coming too, Lara Jean?” I shake my head. “No, there’s only room for two.” “You’re my only girl today, kid,” Peter says, and Kitty runs to him and snatches the flowers out of his hand. Gallantly, he opens the door for her. He shuts it and turns and winks at me. “Don’t be jealous, Covey.” I’ve never liked him more than in this moment.

The first job of a leader—at work or at home—is to inspire trust. It’s to bring out the best in people by entrusting them with meaningful stewardships, and to create an environment in which high-trust interaction inspires creativity and possibility.

[W]isdom is the child of integrity—being integrated around principles. And integrity is the child of humility and courage. In fact, you could say that humility is the mother of all virtues because humility acknowledges that there are natural laws or principles that govern the universe. They are in charge. Pride teaches us that we are in charge. Humility teaches us to understand and live by principles, because they ultimately govern the consequences of our actions. If humility is the mother, courage is the father of wisdom. Because to truly live by these principles when they are contrary to social mores, norms and values takes enormous courage.

Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.

Stephen Covey, in his book The 8th Habit, decribes a poll of 23,000 employees drawn from a number of companies and industries. He reports the poll's findings: * Only 37 percent said they have a clear understanding of what their organization is trying to achieve and why * Only one in five was enthusiastic about their team's and their organization's goals * Only one in five said they had a clear "line of sight" between their tasks and their team's and organization's goals * Only 15 percent felt that their organization fully enables them to execute key goals * Only 20 percent fully trusted the organization they work for Then, Covey superimposes a very human metaphor over the statistics. He says, "If, say, a soccer team had these same scores, only 4 of the 11 players on the field would know which goal is theirs. Only 2 of the 11 would care. Only 2 of the 11 would know what position they play and know exactly what they are supposed to do. And all but 2 players would, in some way, be competing against their own team members rather than the opponent.

We are not our feelings. We are not our moods. We are not even our thoughts. The very fact that we can think about these things separates us from them and from the animal world. Self-awareness enables us to stand apart and examine even the way we “see” ourselves—our self-paradigm, the most fundamental paradigm of effectiveness. It affects not only our attitudes and behaviors, but also how we see other people.