Cork Dork Quotes

After blood, wine is the most complex matrix there is.

Nancy According to astronomers, every atom in my body was forged in a star. I am made, they insist, of stardust. I am stardust braided into strands and streamers of information, proteins and DNA, double helixes of stardust. In every cell of my body there is a thread of stardust as long as my arm.

Hospitality is present when something happens for you. It is absent when something happens to you.

When he poured a taste of Madeira for the Master Sommelier at my table, a splash of wine hit the rim of the glass. The entire table grew silent and not a single person, Morgan included, breathed as we watched the fat, juicy brown droplet roll, as if in slow motion, over the outside rim, along the glass’s side, and down the stem to the foot of the glass. It was like a turd smeared on a wedding gown.

Wine,” declared the nineteenth-century novelist Alexandre Dumas, “is the intellectual part of the meal.

Drink for thirst, but taste with purpose.

As Dana and Morgan saw it, not everyone was ready to receive the epiphany that certain fermented grapes had to offer. And being able to afford these wines was not the same as deserving them.

There is, however, a subtle but important distinction between a wine that’s good to me and a wine that’s good—full stop. While everyone can (and should) decide their favorites for themselves, experts do attempt to grade quality according to certain objective standards

I’d noticed from eating out with sommeliers that, no matter how encyclopedic their knowledge, they usually put themselves entirely in the hands of the restaurant’s somm, if there is one. Unless they see a bottle they’ve been dying to try, they’ll give just two pieces of information: (1) what they want to spend, and (2) what style of wine they want to drink.

I gave them the same advice that had worked for me: Start by stocking your sense memory. Smell everything and attach words to it. Raid your fridge, pantry, medicine cabinet, and spice rack, then quiz yourself on pepper, cardamom, honey, ketchup, pickles, and lavender hand cream. Repeat. Again. Keep going. Sniff flowers and lick rocks. Be like Ann, and introduce odors as you notice them, as you would people entering a room. Also be like Morgan, and look for patterns as you taste, so you can, as he does, “organize small differentiating units into systems.” Master the basics of structure—gauge acid by how you drool, alcohol by its heat, tannin by its dryness, finish by its length, sweetness by its thick softness, body by its weight—and apply it to the wines you try. Actually, apply it to everything you try. Be systematic: Order only Chardonnay for a week and get a feel for its personality, then do the same with Pinot Noir, and Sauvignon Blanc, and Cabernet Franc (the Wine Folly website offers handy CliffsNotes on each one’s flavor profile). Take a moment as you drink to reflect on whether you like it, then think about why. Like Paul Grieco, try to taste the wine for what it is, not what you imagine it should be. Like the Paulée-goers, splurge occasionally. Mix up the everyday bottles with something that’s supposed to be better, and see if you agree. Like Annie, break the rules, do what feels right, and don’t be afraid to experiment.

There is no fault that can’t be corrected [in natural wine] with one powder or another; no feature that can’t be engineered from a bottle, box, or bag. Wine too tannic? Fine it with Ovo-Pure (powdered egg whites), isinglass (granulate from fish bladders), gelatin (often derived from cow bones and pigskins), or if it’s a white, strip out pesky proteins that cause haziness with Puri-Bent (bentonite clay, the ingredient in kitty litter). Not tannic enough? Replace $1,000 barrels with a bag of oak chips (small wood nuggets toasted for flavor), “tank planks” (long oak staves), oak dust (what it sounds like), or a few drops of liquid oak tannin (pick between “mocha” and “vanilla”). Or simulate the texture of barrel-aged wines with powdered tannin, then double what you charge. (““Typically, the $8 to $12 bottle can be brought up to $15 to $20 per bottle because it gives you more of a barrel quality. . . . You’re dressing it up,” a sales rep explained.) Wine too thin? Build fullness in the mouth with gum arabic (an ingredient also found in frosting and watercolor paint). Too frothy? Add a few drops of antifoaming agent (food-grade silicone oil). Cut acidity with potassium carbonate (a white salt) or calcium carbonate (chalk). Crank it up again with a bag of tartaric acid (aka cream of tartar). Increase alcohol by mixing the pressed grape must with sugary grape concentrate, or just add sugar. Decrease alcohol with ConeTech’s spinning cone, or Vinovation’s reverse-osmosis machine, or water. Fake an aged Bordeaux with Lesaffre’s yeast and yeast derivative. Boost “fresh butter” and “honey” aromas by ordering the CY3079 designer yeast from a catalog, or go for “cherry-cola” with the Rhône 2226. Or just ask the “Yeast Whisperer,” a man with thick sideburns at the Lallemand stand, for the best yeast to meet your “stylistic goals.” (For a Sauvignon Blanc with citrus aromas, use the Uvaferm SVG. For pear and melon, do Lalvin Ba11. For passion fruit, add Vitilevure Elixir.) Kill off microbes with Velcorin (just be careful, because it’s toxic). And preserve the whole thing with sulfur dioxide. When it’s all over, if you still don’t like the wine, just add a few drops of Mega Purple—thick grape-juice concentrate that’s been called a “magical potion.” It can plump up a wine, make it sweeter on the finish, add richer color, cover up greenness, mask the horsey stink of Brett, and make fruit flavors pop. No one will admit to using it, but it ends up in an estimated 25 million bottles of red each year. “Virtually everyone is using it,” the president of a Monterey County winery confided to Wines and Vines magazine. “In just about every wine up to $20 a bottle anyway, but maybe not as much over that.

In the end, we admire whatever will make us admirable. "Taste classifies, and it classifies the classifier

The accuracy and potency of what I perceived was only as good as the words I had to articulate it.

No wine is ever as delicious as it was when you tried it at the winery while some suave winemaker walked you through his family’s two-hundred-year-old cellar and offered cheese made from his own goats.

she’d decorated in a style best described as Vinous Chic.

some somms would offer their favorite obscure wines at a lower markup, then make up the difference with the gimmes.

BSD” wines, code for big-swinging-dick bottles

Wine is the intellectual part of the meal (Alexandre Dumas)

Wine, like a progressive tax rate, is the industry's way of price discriminating among its customers.

Wine for me is just a touch of point to a wider world view: That I am not important. That I am a sack of water and organs that's going to be here on Earth for eighty years if I'm lucky.

Robert Louis Stevenson called wine “bottled poetry,

Marea’s reservationists are required to Google every one of its guests,

Wine is freedom,

rats, mice, and snakes scooped up from the vineyard can accidentally get mixed in.)

The first restaurants advertised to Parisian passersby with the motto “I Shall Restore You.

never drink the same wine twice.

(A quick warning: oenophiles use an unnecessary number of French words in daily life. Towel is serviette, bubbles are pétillance, and table settings are mis-en-place. Pretentious? Oui.)

(A quick warning: oenophiles use an unnecessary number of French words in daily life. Towel is serviette, bubbles are pétillance, and table settings are mis-en-place. Pretentious? Oui.)

Wine is freedom,” Victoria had told me. “It gives you freedom to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise meet, go places you wouldn’t go, and try things you otherwise wouldn’t get to try.

Guests reject wines for reasons that have nothing to do with taste.

The landscape had a bucolic feel, a reminder that at the end of the day, despite the pretensions often served with each bottle, everything in this business depends on grapes that must be grown, picked, and crushed.

They might poke fun at them, like the batty socialite who brought her wine sloshing in a Ziploc bag to Jean-Georges, thinking no cork meant no corkage fee.

Perfume was the first to go, but I’d been expecting that. Scented detergent followed, then dryer sheets. I wasn’t sorry to give up raw onions or hot sauce.

Раптом я відчайдушно захотіла схопити її аромат - той нюховий відбиток, який належав лише їй. ... Простягнула руки й схопила все, що тільки могла, і притулила до грудей, ховаючи в речах обличчя. Заплющила очі, притулила ніс до бежевого кашемірового светра і зробила довгий глибокий вдих. Запах був дивовижним. Я хотіла, щоб він залишився зі мною. Я намагалась вирізнити якісь поєднання ароматів у надії, що зможу зберегти цю її частку, яку потім згадуватиму і яка даватиме мені відчуття того, що я поруч із нею, адже це можуть зробити лише запахи.

He was sensitive to the human contributions and natural metamorphoses represented by the craftsmanship of that bottle, along with the moral and historical dimensions of each. “I’m understanding what people are like when I taste their wine,” he said.

He believed that wine could reshape someone’s life. That’s why he preferred buying bottles to splurging on sweaters. Sweaters were things. Bottles of wine, said Morgan, “are ways that my humanity will be changed.

Objectivity is not something we should necessarily aspire to, argues Columbia University neuroscientist Daniel Salzman, a wine obsessive and past La Paulée attendee. “We’d probably enjoy the wine a lot less,” he told me. “Knowing what wine you are drinking is part of the enjoyment of the wine.

The Stanford scientists saw it: The price tags generated real, measurable happiness in their subjects’ brains.

Anything that costs $500, it’s not about wine. You’re not buying wine. That’s a collectible,” said Orley Ashenfelter, a Princeton University econometrics professor who collaborates with Karl on the Journal of Wine Economics. Putting aside speculation or sentimental value, when it comes to flavor, “there’s no justification for a $500 bottle of wine. I guarantee you I can get you one that will cost only $100 and you won’t be able to tell it apart,” he said. “The world is full of people buying bullshit.

The study on California wine competitions did find that there was one situation where the judges were extremely consistent: rating wines they did not like. Quality is elusive. But bad wine can’t hide.

And we use peoples’ judgment in wines to, in turn, judge them.

But far from a disorder, specific anosmia may be “the rule rather than the exception of olfactory processing,” writes Ilona and her coauthors. And it appears to be something we can change.

For a field that’s ostensibly all about pleasure, the current generation of sommeliers, or “somms,” puts themselves through an astonishing amount of pain. They work

We are also capable of smelling warning signals in our environment, just like animals. The sense of smell, our body’s alarm system, is constantly on the alert for threats, and subtly nudges our behavior accordingly. The scent of women’s tears, for example, has been shown to decrease sexual arousal among men. Johan has found that we can differentiate healthy strangers from sick individuals based solely on their body odors, a cue that may have evolved to help us avoid infection. And of course we can smell some dangers, like smoke or gas, before we see them.

There’s proteins. Amino acids. Biogenic amines. Organic acids. Vitamins. Carotenoids,” an enology professor explained to me. “After blood, wine is the most complex matrix there is.

Like, God, America, SHUT UP. I don’t need to provide the answer to this question, because why don’t we have some goddamn mystery left in the world? . . . It’s in your heart. It’s spiritual. It has nothing to do with quantification. And to me, at least, in a world where everything is quantified and everything is measured, thank God there’s still something on this planet that belongs completely to the process and the mysterious and the aesthetic.

You learn what you’re supposed to like, and you also learn what you’re not supposed to like, and who you’re not supposed to like by association of what you’re not supposed to like. You learn to criticize not only the fucking wine, but the fucking people who like that wine.

Tragon, a market research firm that specializes in helping companies craft hit wines, concluded that the relationship between wines that critics rate highly and wines that consumers enjoy is . . . zero.

(For knock-off Bordeaux, fill a bottle with equal parts Devonshire cider and port, age for one month, and serve—“the best judge will not be able to distinguish them from good Bordeaux.”)

1001 Whiskies, Jura Wine, North American Pinot Noir, The Wines of Burgundy, Wine Atlas of Germany, To Burgundy and Back Again, A Short History of Wine, Cellarmasters in the Kitchen, Reading Between the Vines, and, the lone exception

And since residual sugar can make wines more viscous, you can also sense sweetness by feeling out the weighty thickness or pillowy softness of a wine.

If you become the action, and execute the process perfectly, you will become the result,” he wrote. “Fear and worry are the heart of failure.” As Morgan saw it, blind tasting well depends first and foremost on sharpening your focus and mental control. You have to keep your mind open to the wine’s message at the same time that you silence the doubts that inevitably creep into the edges of your brain to whisper You always miss Moscato. “It requires consciousness. It requires attention. It requires saying, ‘I’m going to be in tune with my senses, and I’m going to listen to this glass of wine,’” Morgan said.

My personal experience indicates that supertasters are disproportionately predisposed to lourd their status over others.

There’s this whole issue where if people spend $350 for a bottle of wine, they don’t want to admit they don’t like it.