Communicate Your.feelings Quotes

How would your life be different if…You pretended those around you were deaf to your words? Let today be the day…You let your actions speak and communicate your feelings and intentions.

Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing. God doesn’t bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?

You'll have a good, secure life when being alive means more to you than security, love more than money, your freedom more than public or partisan opinion, when the mood of Beethoven's or Bach's music becomes the mood of your whole life … when your thinking is in harmony, and no longer in conflict, with your feelings … when you let yourself be guided by the thoughts of great sages and no longer by the crimes of great warriors … when you pay the men and women who teach your children better than the politicians; when truths inspire you and empty formulas repel you; when you communicate with your fellow workers in foreign countries directly, and no longer through diplomats...

The trouble with you is that the only way you can communicate is through art. You’ve never learned to communicate your feelings to a man. You don’t even want to communicate in a relationship. You think that if you open up to love, you’ll lose your independence or your self-expression or creativity or whatever you call all that passionate, wonderful stuff that makes you feel alive inside.

Your feelings are cosmic communication! The good feelings mean, GOOD FOR YOU. The bad feelings are to get your attention so that you will change what you are focusing on.

Pretend those around you are deaf to your words. Let your actions speak and communicate your feelings and intentions. This way of living ensures the potency of your message is delivered and serves as a gauge against our verbal nonsense.

Once you have a handle on loving yourself, you can practice sharing that love with others. You’ve probably been taught to reserve the language of love for when you’re feeling overwhelmingly tender and passionate, and only for those who have made huge commitments to you. We recommend instead learning to recognize and acknowledge all the sweet feelings that make life worthwhile even when they don’t knock you over—and, moreover, learning to communicate those feelings to the people who inspire them.

If you could do one thing to improve yourself today, it would be this: Rid yourself of bias. If you can do this, you can learn to listen. If you learn to listen, then you can learn to communicate. If you can communicate, then you can begin to verbalize your feelings. When you verbalize your feelings, then you can release stress and frustrations. When you free yourself of what bothers you, then you can fully give yourself to others. When you come this far, then you have learned to grow spiritually.

Keep to the 'I-statements' and discuss your feelings, she lectured herself. I think, I feel. Don't be accusatory. Don't tell him that he is an insecure prick who should back off before you deck him. Instead, say, 'I feel you are acting like an insecure prick who should back off before I deck you.

Open up. Ask for help. Accept help. Accept yourself. Be completely honest. Take a daily inventory. Whenever you are in the wrong, make amends. Face reality. Reach out. Communicate. Show kindness. Share your concerns and your worries with another human being. Help another human being, on a daily basis. Count your blessings, not your failures. Don’t live in regret or in yesterday. Don’t project your fears into tomorrow. Take action, when action is needed. Deal with your feelings if and when they arise. Don’t sit on them.

Speak from right attitude. Ask yourself, “What do I really need to communicate to this person?” and refrain from venting your feelings for other motives. Check for self-indulgence, ill will, potential harm in one’s own words and actions. Ask yourself not only what must I say, buthow must I say it.

Always remember, women care less about the content of what’s being communicated and more about the context (the how) of what’s being communicated. Never buy the lie that good communication is the key to a good relationship with out considering how and what you communicate. Women are naturally solipsistic. Your ‘feelings’ aren’t important to her until you make them important for her.

I don't believe one writes for oneself. I think that writing is an act of love- you write in order to give something to someone else. To communicate something. to have other people share your feelings. This problem of how long your work survives is fundamental for a novelist or a poet. One hopes for a sense of continuity.

Resentment often builds up when you fail to communicate effectively with the people you resent. That is, when you didn’t tell them you felt hurt, or didn’t communicate your needs and wants, assuming they would naturally cater to them. It can also grow when you did express your feelings but can’t let go of them and forgive.

I'd like you to make an effort to share what you're feeling, good or bad, with me. I'll do the same. If we're honest with each other in our communication this will work for us.

In every one of your relationships, you are on a continuum between intimacy and separation. You stand on a slide that tilts you toward either intimacy or separateness. Exactly where you stand at any given moment is the result of your decisions, your feelings, how you handle situations, and the way you and the other person communicate.

Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these things. I shrugged and said nothing. "Maybe you should try sitting on the intensity," Mom suggests, "just until your feelings catch up with reality." "We could chain you to the water heater," Dad offers, "until these little moments pass." You see what I'm up against.

I ran through a restaurant like the fraught heroine in a romantic comedy," I reminded him in a whisper. "That's crazy. That's drama. That's -" "Real," he cut me off. "Shit was overwhelming you, you had a reaction and you're allowed, Kia. You didn't hide that either." He moved, rolling me and pulling us down in the bed so my head was to the pillows, his arms were still around me, his torso was resting on mine and his face was super close. "What you didn't do was, when I fucked up, hurt your feels, you didn't call me on it. I keep tellin' you I'm not him and I'll keep doin' it until you work him outta you, baby, but, in a healthy relationship, you're allowed to get pissed and in my face. Fuck, I need you to do that so I know what buttons not to push, where I can't go and avoid those places. And I'll do the same for you. Its part of learning how to take care of each other. Its fightin but its a form of communication and it's also a form of trust. We have words, we come to terms, we learn about each other and we move on stronger.

Can you please try and piece together what you’re feeling and communicate it to me?

holding in your feelings when it comes to your relationship will drain and diminish your mental health.

Hatred always involves a painful sense of separation from love, which may be idealized. A person you feel strongly against at any given time upsets you because he or she does not live up to your expectations. The higher your expectations the greater any divergence from them seems. If you hate a parent it is precisely because you expect such love. A person from whom you expect nothing will never earn your bitterness. In a strange manner, hatred is a means of returning to love; and left alone and expressed it is meant to communicate a separation that exists in relation to what is expected. Love, therefore, can contain hate very nicely. Hatred can contain love and be driven by it, particularly an idealized love. You "hate" something that separates you from a loved object. It is precisely because the object is so loved that it is so disliked if expectations are not met. You may love a parent, and if the parent does not seem to return the love and denies your expectations, then you may "hate" the same parent because of the love that leads you to expect more. The hatred is meant to get your love back. It is supposed to lead to a communication from you, stating your feelings - clearing the air, so to speak, and bringing you closer to the love object. Hatred is not the denial of love, then, but an attempt to regain it, and a painful recognition of circumstances that separate you from it. --

Co-commitment is made possible when two people deal with their sense of responsibility and integrity. Being alive to the full range of your feelings, speaking the truth at the deepest level of which you are capable, and learning to keep agreements: all of these actions are required to master a co-committed relationship. When these three requirements are met, the real intimacy begins to unfold. A co-committed relationship may look like magic, but it really is composed of tiny moments of choice. Choosing to tell the truth. Noticing that you are projecting, and finding the courage to take responsibility. Choosing to feel rather than go numb. Choosing to communicate about a broken agreement. Choosing to support your partner as he or she goes through deep feeling. Ultimately, once these skills are practiced and internalized, the relationship flows effortlessly. Once your nervous system learns to stay at a high level of aliveness and does not need to numb itself by lying, breaking agreements, and hiding feelings, the creativity starts to flow.

...Right now, we're just two sad and pathetic gay men who can't communicate. See-this is why there's traditionally a woman in a relationship. Women coerce you into talking about your feelings whether you want to or not.

You already have a partner in success. Your partner is the living Universe! Acknowledging your partner is fundamental to your wellbeing. You communicate with the Universe through your feelings or emotions. List your aha! moments:

Rejection is scary, but so is living with never knowing what could have happened if you were honest. I think you need to communicate your feelings with him. Any relationship, friendship, or more, will not survive through all this dishonesty.

if you want to use guilt with somebody, you need to communicate in a way that indicates that your pain is being caused simply by what they do. In other words, their behavior is not simply the stimulus of your feelings; it’s the cause of your feelings.

During a difficult conversation, calmly address your feelings without making assumptions. Be aware of communication tendencies to better understand the intention behind someone’s words. Make criticism specific and actionable. Ask the recipient how they prefer to receive feedback. Emotionally proofread what you write before hitting Send.

As stated, most people don’t realize they’re upset about the tone you used while being just fine with your actual request. It was never about you asking them to pick up the clothes. It was about the way you asked. Therefore, take responsibility for communicating in a genuine, sincere tone. Your partner can more easily hear and consider your request when it’s not blended with sarcasm or an otherwise insulting tone.

Anger is a completely natural emotion. It’s a strong signal that our needs aren’t being met. Evolutionarily it protects us when we perceive a threat in our environment. The destructive effects of anger come from how we handle it, not from the anger itself. When we can differentiate the stories of blame from our unmet needs, we can express ourselves more constructively. Feeling “manipulated” or “betrayed” indicates that your emotions are colored by an interpretation about the other person’s intentions. To honor the intensity of your experience without getting entangled in the blame game, see those words as information that points back to your feelings and needs. Investigate what’s in your heart. When you tell yourself, “I’m being manipulated,” how do you feel on the inside? What do you need? Once this is clear, work on conveying the depth of your feelings without blame. Express the rawness of your emotions and connect them to what matters to you. If you can’t find other words (and if you think the other person will understand), you could take responsibility for the blame by saying something such as, “I’m telling myself a story that you betrayed me.” This indicates your subjective interpretation while leaving space for the other person’s experience.

Young people never talk about what matters,” Estella scolded. “Everyone’s too busy protecting their own hearts to do what’s best for them. I sometimes think you all need to go back seventy years and see how we used to get along when we had no other way to communicate besides speaking to one another. To a time when courage was saved for things that mattered, rather than simply being open about your feelings. It might do you all a world of good.

I. Utilize the "two-minute rule" to avoid persistent interruptions. The two-minute rule specifies that you have to give someone an uninterrupted two minutes to explain their thinking before jumping in with your own. This ensures that everyone has time to fully crystallize and communicate their thoughts without worrying they will be misunderstood or drowned out by a louder voice. j. Watch out for assertive "fast talkers." Fast talkers are people who articulately and assertively say things faster than they can be assessed as a way of pushing their agenda past other people's examination or objections. Fast talking can be especially effective when it's used against people worried about appearing stupid. Don't be one of those people. Recognize that it's your responsibility to make sense of things and don't move on until you do. If you're feeling pressured, say something like "Sorry for being stupid, but I'm going to need to slow you down so I can make sense of what you're saying." Then ask your questions. All of them. p367

If you’re not sure if you’re feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost, or you wonder if you are accurately translating the impressions you’re receiving, ask the Lord to tutor you through the ministering of the Spirit. Ask Him to lead you to scriptures and to teachings of living prophets that will help you grow in the spirit of revelation. Look for every evidence in the scriptures of direct communication between heaven and mortals on earth, because in those accounts lie instructions for learning the language of revelation.

Communication is the most essential and also the most ignored solvent and, simultaneously, medicine of life. If you communicate well with the planet, you will have better mental health. If you communicate better with your body, you will have better physical health. If you communicate well with others, you will have more financial abundance. Even the simplest job can't be acquired without good communication. But when you are alone, that communication turns inwards, and can improve or decrease the value you offer your own life. If you don't know what you say to yourself, listen only to those who speak what you need to hear. Your own life depends on these choices. Your feelings tell you what you must know about yourself - they're not a goal but a tool for personal evaluation.

Don’t be defensive. People will be reluctant to share feedback if they are afraid of hurting your feelings or having to justify their perceptions. Listen carefully. Relax and actively listen to understand what the other person is trying to tell you; be sensitive to how your nonverbal communication is affecting the other person’s willingness to share with you. Suspend judgment. Listen, don’t judge. Don’t worry about what you’re going to say, but rather work to understand what the other person is trying to tell you. Be welcoming and assume that the information is intended to help you be better rather than anything otherwise. Ask questions and ask for examples. Make sure you understand what is being said and learn about the context as well as the content. Say thank you. Let the other person know that you appreciate his or her feedback and that you can’t get any better without knowing more about yourself and how your actions affect others.

That trust takes time. But when you love each other, it shouldn't be scary to be vulnerable and it shouldn't be hard to compromise. I'd like to share with you what we like to call SACRED HEALING. We use it every day of our marriage, and it hasn't failed us yet! When you have something you need to communicate, those words are SACRED: 1. STOP when you register something's wrong. 2. ADMIT that you have an issue to discuss. 3. CALMLY express your feelings. 4. REFLECT on why you're feeling this way. 5. ENGAGE with your partner to actively fix the issue. 6. DEVOTE time after conflict to returning to a loving state. And when your partner is saying something SACRED, it's your job to get the leader of the HEALING: 1. HEAR your partner's words. 2. ENGAGE with your questions for clarification and understanding. 3. ACKNOWLEDGE that what they're saying is important. 4. LOOK BACK on your own role in the conflict. 5. INITIATE discussion without anger or defense. 6. NEGOTIATE a solution with pure intentions. 7. GROW as partners and individuals by fixing the problem as a team.

When I had the third breakdown, the mini-breakdown, I was in the late stages of writing this book. Since I could not cope with communication of any kind during that period, I put an auto-response message on my E-mail that said I was temporarily unreachable, and a similar message on my answering machine. Acquaintances who had suffered depression knew what to make of these outgoing messages. They wasted no time. I had dozens and dozens of calls from people offering whatever they could offer and doing it glowingly. “I will come to stay the minute you call,” wrote Laura Anderson, who also sent a wild profusion of orchids, “and I’ll stay as long as it takes you to get better. If you’d prefer, you are of course always welcome here; if you need to move in for a year, I’ll be here for you. I hope you know that I will always be here for you.” Claudia Weaver wrote with questions: “Is it better for you to have someone check in with you every day or are the messages too much of a burden? If they are a burden, you needn’t answer this one, but whatever you need—just call me, anytime, day or night.” Angel Starkey called often from the pay phone at her hospital to see if I was okay. “I don’t know what you need,” she said, “but I’m worrying about you all the time. Please take care of yourself. Come and see me if you’re feeling really bad, anytime. I’d really like to see you. If you need anything, I’ll try to get it for you. Promise me you won’t hurt yourself.” Frank Rusakoff wrote me a remarkable letter and reminded me about the precious quality of hope. “I long for news that you are well and off on another adventure,” he wrote, and signed the letter, “Your friend, Frank.” I had felt committed in many ways to all these people, but the spontaneous outpouring astounded me. Tina Sonego said she’d call in sick for work if I needed her—or that she’d buy me a ticket and take me to someplace relaxing. “I’m a good cook too,” she told me. Janet Benshoof dropped by the house with daffodils and optimistic lines from favorite poems written in her clear hand and a bag so she could come sleep on my sofa, just so I wouldn’t be alone. It was an astonishing responsiveness.

These are things to have under your belt in order to make and strengthen boundaries: Educate them. To be blunt, narcissists aren’t exactly in tune with their interpersonal or communication skills. Try using incentives or other motivators to get them to pay attention to how their behavior affects others. They may not empathize or seem to get what you’re saying, but at least you can say you tried to look at it from your point of view. Understand your personal rights. In order to demand being treated fairly and with respect, it’s important to know what your rights are. You’re allowed to say no, you have a right to your feelings, you are allowed privacy—and there are no wedding or relationship vows that say you are at the beck and call of your partner. When a person has been abused for a long time, they may lack the confidence or self-esteem to take a stand on their rights. The more power they take back, though, the less the abuser has. Be assertive. This is something that depends on confidence, and will take practice, but it’s worth it. Being assertive means standing up for yourself and exuding pride in who you are. Put your strategies into play. After the information you’ve absorbed so far, you have an advantage in that you are aware of your wants, what the narcissist demands, what you are able to do and those secret tiny areas you may have power over. Tap into these areas to put together your own strategies. Re-set your boundaries. A boundary is an unseen line in the sand. It determines the point you won’t allow others to cross over or they’ll hurt you. These are non-negotiable and others must be aware of them and respect them. But you have to know what those lines are before making them clear to others. Have consequences. As an extension of the above point, if a person tries ignoring your boundaries, make sure you give a consequence. There doesn't need to be a threat, but more saying, “If you ________, we can’t hang out/date/talk/etc.” You’re just saying that crossing the boundary hurts you so if they choose to disregard it, you choose not to accept that treatment. The narcissist will not tolerate you standing up for yourself, but it’s still important. The act of advocating for yourself will increase your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. Then you’ll be ready to recover and heal.

ever. Amen. Thank God for self-help books. No wonder the business is booming. It reminds me of junior high school, where everybody was afraid of the really cool kids because they knew the latest, most potent putdowns, and were not afraid to use them. Dah! But there must be another reason that one of the best-selling books in the history of the world is Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray. Could it be that our culture is oh so eager for a quick fix? What a relief it must be for some people to think “Oh, that’s why we fight like cats and dogs, it is because he’s from Mars and I am from Venus. I thought it was just because we’re messed up in the head.” Can you imagine Calvin Consumer’s excitement and relief to get the video on “The Secret to her Sexual Satisfaction” with Dr. GraySpot, a picture chart, a big pointer, and an X marking the spot. Could that “G” be for “giggle” rather than Dr. “Graffenberg?” Perhaps we are always looking for the secret, the gold mine, the G-spot because we are afraid of the real G-word: Growth—and the energy it requires of us. I am worried that just becoming more educated or well-read is chopping at the leaves of ignorance but is not cutting at the roots. Take my own example: I used to be a lowly busboy at 12 East Restaurant in Florida. One Christmas Eve the manager fired me for eating on the job. As I slunk away I muttered under my breath, “Scrooge!” Years later, after obtaining a Masters Degree in Psychology and getting a California license to practice psychotherapy, I was fired by the clinical director of a psychiatric institute for being unorthodox. This time I knew just what to say. This time I was much more assertive and articulate. As I left I told the director “You obviously have a narcissistic pseudo-neurotic paranoia of anything that does not fit your myopic Procrustean paradigm.” Thank God for higher education. No wonder colleges are packed. What if there was a language designed not to put down or control each other, but nurture and release each other to grow? What if you could develop a consciousness of expressing your feelings and needs fully and completely without having any intention of blaming, attacking, intimidating, begging, punishing, coercing or disrespecting the other person? What if there was a language that kept us focused in the present, and prevented us from speaking like moralistic mini-gods? There is: The name of one such language is Nonviolent Communication. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication provides a wealth of simple principles and effective techniques to maintain a laser focus on the human heart and innocent child within the other person, even when they have lost contact with that part of themselves. You know how it is when you are hurt or scared: suddenly you become cold and critical, or aloof and analytical. Would it not be wonderful if someone could see through the mask, and warmly meet your need for understanding or reassurance? What I am presenting are some tools for staying locked onto the other person’s humanness, even when they have become an alien monster. Remember that episode of Star Trek where Captain Kirk was turned into a Klingon, and Bones was freaking out? (I felt sorry for Bones because I’ve had friends turn into Cling-ons too.) But then Spock, in his cool, Vulcan way, performed a mind meld to determine that James T. Kirk was trapped inside the alien form. And finally Scotty was able to put some dilithium crystals into his phaser and destroy the alien cloaking device, freeing the captain from his Klingon form. Oh, how I wish that, in my youth or childhood,

Getting in touch with your feelings and learning how to fully communicate wounds, wishes, and desires will be a critical factor in your marriage.

Now, beset with strong feelings in the moment, you lack a clearly marked mental path to self-reflection that can help you self-soothe or communicate effectively. A common difficulty in intimate relationships is not feeling seen and loved in our difference. As a child, if the people you depended upon either got lost in your distress and couldn’t maintain a separate point of view, or required you to suppress your feelings and take their point of view, it taught you that being a separate individual with a different perspective was somehow a problem. If my experience taught me that separate points of view create ruptures in empathy, it’s no wonder I might fight with my partner tooth and nail to enforce agreement. By passionately insisting that you should see things as I do, I both echo and warp the original protest, at the heart of every human, that I should be loved as myself.

• You don't get to control your feelings, Thinking Brain. Self-control is an illusion. It's an illusion that occurs when both brains are aligned and pursuing the same course of action. It's an illusion designed to give people hope. And when the Thinking brain isn't aligned with the Feeling Brain, people feel powerless, and the world around them begins to feel hopeless. The only way you consistently nail that illusion is by consistently communicating and aligning the brains around the same values. It's a skill, much the same as playing water polo or juggling knives is a skill. It takes work. And there will be failures along the way. You might slice your arm open and bleed everywhere. But that's just the cost of admission.

You don't get to control your feelings, Thinking Brain. Self-control is an illusion. It's an illusion that occurs when both brains are aligned and pursuing the same course of action. It's an illusion designed to give people hope. And when the Thinking brain isn't aligned with the Feeling Brain, people feel powerless, and the world around them begins to feel hopeless. The only way you consistently nail that illusion is by consistently communicating and aligning the brains around the same values. It's a skill, much the same as playing water polo or juggling knives is a skill. It takes work. And there will be failures along the way. You might slice your arm open and bleed everywhere. But that's just the cost of admission.

When you say, “I’m feeling angry,” it accomplishes two things: 1) It allows you to express your feelings, which is an absolute necessity in relationships, and 2) It communicates your current state of being to your partner without the use of insults. Nobody can argue with how you feel. If you feel angry or

They Don’t Talk Much If communication has become non-existent between the two of you, it means they couldn’t care less about your feelings, emotions, or thoughts. If they cared, they would have always figured out something to talk about.

Resentment often builds up when you fail to communicate effectively with the people you resent. That is, when you didn’t tell them you felt hurt, or didn’t communicate your needs and wants, assuming they would naturally cater to them. It can also grow when you did express your feelings but can’t let go of them and forgive. As Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” It just doesn’t work.

Can you please try and piece together what you’re feeling and communicate it to me?” She blinks up at me once, twice, like she can’t believe what she’s about to say out loud. “I think I’m going to miss you.” Holy fuck, my father is a genius.

Lack of Communication - If you have a partner with an avoidant attachment style, they may tend to push you away and provide little to no communication. You are left guessing why they are ignoring you or not acknowledging your feelings.

The Princess/Page of Swords inquisitive, objective, aloof You are probably very bright – good at communicating clearly and diplomatically, and you enjoy intellectual challenges. You love a really good conversation and find it easy to be analytical, but because of the ease with which you can be objective and detach yourself from your feelings, some people experience you as distant or even aloof. It is easy for you to become overly critical of other people and even to be tempted into prying into their lives. You sometimes think that you need to get more in touch with your feelings but this makes you feel uncomfortably childlike, and your usual sense of certainty deserts you.

COUPLES HAVING BARIATRIC SURGERY TOGETHER It happens more and more often: Two people will have bariatric surgery together. It is difficult being the patient. It can also be trying for the significant other. When couples have the surgery together, it can be twice as hard. Each person has the problems of both the patient and the significant other. I have found that people in healthy relationships do well together, but those having problems often see increased relationship difficulties after surgery. If you plan to have the surgery with a partner, try to remain independent as far as exercise and food choices. Working out together is a bonus, but do not get into the habit of skipping workouts because your partner cannot participate. Do not let your partner be in charge of your habits. Good communication is the key to a couple’s success. Before the surgery, discuss the logistics of the changes you must make. After the surgery, talk to each other weekly about your feelings regarding the surgery and the changes you are both experiencing. It is possible to grow much closer as a couple as a result of this experience. There will be a tendency to talk each other into tiny cheats. Typically, this is how it works: “C’mon, let’s just have a little bit. We deserve it.” Having the surgery together represents some increased challenges, but has the potential for increased excitement and support. Keep communication flowing and problems will be minimized.

distracted by your feelings, biases, and other inner trains of thought. Your mind must be open enough to let information come through from the conversation so that you can respond appropriately. And speaking of your mental state… An Open Mind It is often part of human nature to make a mental note of the person’s distinct features and mannerisms when they are talking to you. For instance, if they say something incredulous, your mind immediately makes a mental note along the lines of well, that was a stupid thing to say, followed by an instinctive raising of the eyebrows. Or what if the person has a visible distraction on their face like a mole on their cheek or a piece of lettuce in their teeth? Your eyes would immediately travel there,

The bottom line is that you want to communicate to her your feelings for her haven’t changed or wavered no matter what her shape is at the moment. All you can hope for is that she’ll return the favor as you slowly lose your figure, hair, and all sense of style.

Every step brings you home to the here and the now, so you can connect with yourself, your body, and your feelings. That is a real connection. You don’t need a device that tells you how many friends you have or how many steps you’ve walked or how many calories you’ve burned.

The 8 Most Likable Personality Traits Be Humble. Don’t brag. Admit mistakes. Embracing your flaws is disarming and people will warm up to you more easily. Be Caring and Unselfish. Genuinely care about others and what they say, think, feel, and do. Listen. Ask follow-up questions. Be nice. Be Positive. Don’t be a downer. Bring positive energy. See the good in situations. Be Enthusiastic. Give your words and expressions life. Put some feeling and energy behind what you say, feel, and do. Be passionate about something. Be Goal-oriented. Have some direction in life. Share your goals with people. People are drawn to ambition. Be Playful. Lighten up and don’t be overly serious or defensive. Be flexible. Go with the flow. Be Honorable. Stand for something. Have integrity. Keep your word. Be Genuine. Be vulnerable and open sometimes. Don’t always hide behind a façade. Authentically express your feelings, passions, and interests.

Anxious attachment turns love into a battlefield. It is a space where insecurities wage war against the self, where the soul is torn between the innate human need for connection and the paralyzing fear of rejection and abandonment. It is a dance of opposites, where love is both sought and feared, where connection is both craved and resisted.

The origins of anxious attachment often trace back to early relationships. Consider a child with a parent who alternates between warmth and attentiveness and occasional distance or preoccupation. This inconsistency breeds uncertainty, prompting the child to be perpetually on alert, striving to secure consistent love and attention. As this child grows into adulthood and forms relationships, this anxiety persists, leading to a constant need to decipher their standing in relationships.

The same principle applies to your negative emotions. You need to be a parent to your emotions, just like you would with a child. Take the time to sit with your feelings, communicate with them, and understand why they behave the way they do. When I say “sit with your feelings,” I mean start journaling.

Bad communication is just the opposite. Instead of opening up, you hide your feelings or act them out aggressively. Instead of listening to your partner, you argue defensively and insist that he or she is wrong. And instead of conveying caring and respect, you go to war and try to put your partner down. Allison and Burt agreed that these ideas made perfect sense.

expression (Assertiveness), and caring (Respect). The acronym, EAR, will help you remember these three components: E = Empathy, A = Assertiveness, and R = Respect. Bad communication is just the opposite. You don’t listen, you don’t express your feelings openly, and you don’t convey any caring or respect.

Assertiveness is the second characteristic of good communication. You express your feelings openly and directly, using “I Feel” Statements, such as “I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable right now” or “I’m feeling sad.” In addition, you share your feelings tactfully so the other person won’t feel belittled, attacked, or put down.

But where do these patterns stem from? Understanding the root of codependent behaviors often requires a journey back in time. Many individuals with codependent tendencies have experienced childhood traumas or grown up in environments where their emotional needs were inconsistently met. For instance, a child with a caregiver who was sometimes loving but other times neglectful or abusive might grow up with an anxious attachment style, always on the lookout for signs of love or rejection.

After your feelings get shoved under the rug following the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh fights, the scale begins to tip. Whereas you mainly got along before, now, it’s half and half. Your relationship feels amicable and fun half the time, with tension and frustration the other half. We can get through this, you think. Let’s just try and get back to how things used to be. Ah, the good ol’ “used to be” myth. Things can’t go back to how they used to be. Ever. They can only evolve forward into something new. The “something new” can either be a worse version of your relationship, or, if you learned to communicate effectively, a better, happier, and more connected version of your relationship.

April 1 I AM CALLING YOU to a life of constant communion with Me. Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life. You yearn for a simplified lifestyle, so that your communication with Me can be uninterrupted. But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world. Accept each day just as it comes, and find Me in the midst of it all. Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings. Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment. He will keep you close to Me. Pray continually. 1 THESSALONIANS 5 : 17 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. PROVERBS 3 :

We emphasize straightforwardness. You should be true to your feelings, and to your mind, expressing yourself without any reservations. This helps the listener to understand more easily.

In response to my ex-Valet’s email, I wrote: Hi Andy, I am surprised by your honesty and openness in relating your early relationship with Toby. I had not expected such frank soliloquy from a ‘perfect’ gentleman like you. Although we often discussed everything candidly in the old days, we had never written down our thoughts and opinions in black and white. Are we finally reaching an Age of Aquarius where truth and freedom are here to enlighten humanity? I am gladdened that we are able to communicate quickly and efficiently in this electronic age. I know you are aware that I am writing my memoirs. Aren’t you concerned that I may reveal the true nature of your feelings you confided to me in my writings? One thing I can promise you; I will never do anything unsavory or conduct myself in an ungentlemanly fashion towards those I love, respect and trust. My dearest Andy, I value your love greatly and laurel you in the highest esteem in my pantheon of cultivated beings. Moreover we are soul mates and as past E.R.O.S. members we also have a duty to our forebears to continue living spiritually and intellectually. To be illustrious examples in the chaotic world we reside…

Now it’s time to become aware of being completely understood… If you like, use your mind’s eye to sense being able to easily communicate clearly, kindly, and honestly…and able to understand what’s being communicated with you, deeply listening, understanding… And noticing what you’re feeling right now.

Elon doesn’t know about you and he hasn’t thought through whether or not something is going to hurt your feelings,” Singh said. “He just knows what the fuck he wants done. People who did not normalize to his communication style did not do well.” There’s

Smiles When we smile naturally we use a full set of facial muscles, including the muscles around our eyes. When the smile is forced those eye muscles remain passive and the smile, although superficially the same, is missing something. You can’t put your finger on it, but the look is insincere. A study of marriages in the USA analyzed smiles in wedding photographs. The couples with false smiles divorced much earlier than the genuinely happy couples. Similarly for high school photos; people with genuine smiles at 18 years of age were happier later in life and in more stable relationships. Smiling is really important. It is good to be around people who smile, they are more successful – and nicer. There is also a curious reverse effect. The link between our minds and bodies is much more fundamental than we thought. If you grasp a pencil between your teeth, it forces you to smile. Try it. The mere act of smiling is found to make you happier, it causes the release of the chemicals called endorphins which improve your feeling of well-being.

Hidden truths: 1. You already have a partner in success. 2. Your partner is the living Universe! 3. Acknowledging your partner is fundamental to your wellbeing. 4. You communicate with the Universe through your feelings or emotions.

BODY LANGUAGE Body language tells other people about your feelings before you even open your mouth. It conveys to others how receptive you are to communicating with them. A friendly first impression leaves room for social success. But an unfriendly first impression may mean there is no second chance with that person or in that situation. Of course, the impression you give is only half the picture. There are actually two components to developing body language as a social skill: First, you must learn to project a friendly, open image to others, second, you must develop the ability to read another person’s nonverbal behavioral signals, a much more challenging skill.

– THE 6 WAYS TO COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS –   Relationship-Attractors:   Men want to be understood, just as you do. If you can show a man that you get him, then he’ll take more of an initiative to understand you.

PART 4  Examining Your Emotional Relationship with Yourself Emotional Pain Emotional pain is very similar to physical pain—energetically. It takes a huge amount of psychic energy to wall off and store emotional pain. To avoid emotional pain, you have to disconnect your hara line. In essence, you force your higher self out of your body and encapsulate the emotional energy field, storing it in your physical energy fields and in your cells. When you begin consciously grounding, you will begin to feel your emotions more intensely. They are not new, but rather, you are just starting to feel them. You will also feel more physical sensation. These too are not new. You are becoming more aware of your self. By being brave and allowing yourself to feel, you are allowing your energy fields to accelerate, align, and operate more efficiently. Like pain, emotions are not good or bad. That is a judgment. Emotions are information that your energy field is trying to communicate with you. If you are getting angry, then it may be that you are becoming co-dependent with the situation that makes you angry. Your anger isn’t bad, and it is telling you that you are feeling controlled by the situation. Your anger is telling you to consciously claim your boundaries. We will look at this more in Part 8, “Personal Boundaries.” Another example is sadness. Sadness is a normal reaction to a loss of someone or something that you were emotionally involved with. It is not bad. If you judge sadness as bad and repress it, you will be prolonging the effects of your loss, burying it in your unconscious mind and in your physical body. There it could eventually become a disease. Here your sadness becomes a fear and an energetic tax on your emotional system. Allowing yourself to feel your sadness will give you more information about the situation and allow your system to release this feeling. Stagnant Energy Fields Burying feelings—both physical and emotional—causes stuck, stagnant, and depleted energetic systems. Allowing your feelings enables your energy fields to begin flowing again, running more efficiently, and naturally balancing. An uncomfortable feeling is a limited energy field. If you allow your feelings, the energy will flow and eventually run out of your system. This stuck energy field will be replaced with your higher universal frequencies. The highest frequency and strongest energy of our universe is unconditional love.

My prayer for you is peace through gratitude. When your sibling hurts your feelings, be thankful feelings will mend. When your parents give you unsolicited advice, be grateful you still have parents. When your kids misbehave, disobey and embarrass you, be thankful they are independent thinkers. 

Finally, not saying anything at all is its own type of language. Saying nothing and avoiding conversation communicates something. If you’re prone to avoidance, this section will help you gain the confidence you

Additionally, you don’t even need to be angry and yelling to create a fight. Your words can be just as detrimental even if you’re saying them quietly and calmly. In fact, this could be more challenging to work through because the person saying these phrases can always fall back on, Look, I’m not yelling, am I? I’m calm, see? Sure, but you’re still being sarcastic, cruel, and disrespectful

Silence is always golden but it becomes imitation junk when communication breaks between relationships.

Your teaching, preaching, and discipling can not be built upon your feelings of confidence or insecurity. Your motivation to communicate the gospel message must be made upon the message of Christ Jesus, being the only way to save a soul from eternal damnation.

It felt like when you desire another person, and are unsure whether they return your feelings and then, finally, confessions are made, and communication takes place. You feel light-headed because your trembling hopes have been released.

Acknowledging our feelings is a mindful way of deflating the drama bubble. Feeling irritated with your kids? Say what you see out loud: “I’m feeling grumpy right now.” Simply acknowledging that can provide a lot of relief, and it communicates to your child what’s going on with you. Win-win! You’re feeling slightly better and you’ve modeled healthy emotional intelligence for your child.

Acknowledging our feelings is a mindful way of deflating the drama bubble. Feeling irritated with your kids? Say what you see out loud: “I’m feeling grumpy right now.” Simply acknowledging that can provide a lot of relief, and it communicates to your child what’s going on with you. Win-win! You’re feeling slightly better and you’ve modeled healthy emotional intelligence for your child. Anger is often the result of other feelings that have escalated to exasperation (we’ll talk about this more in the next chapter). By practicing acknowledgment, you can sometimes head anger off at the pass.

But real achievement at work requires going one step beyond emotional intelligence: you need to learn to be reasonably emotional. This means matching how you communicate your feelings to the specific situation. To do that, you need emotional fluency—the capacity to productively sense emotion, and to know how and when to translate what you feel into healthy action.

When someone is assertive, they will think something like this: “I know what my needs are, and I will communicate them to you.” The healthiest way to communicate your boundaries is to be assertive. In contrast to all the forms of ineffective communication previously mentioned, assertiveness is how you clearly and directly state your needs. Assertiveness involves communicating your feelings openly and without attacking others. It isn’t demanding. Instead, it’s a way of commanding that people hear you. More examples of assertiveness: • Saying no to anything you don’t want to do • Telling people how you feel as a result of their behaviour • Sharing your honest thoughts about your experiences • Responding in the moment • Instead of talking to a third party, talking directly to the person you have issue with • Making your expectations clear up front instead of assuming people will them out

The fact is there will always be significant differences between you and your partner in some or all the areas mentioned here and also in many others. That’s why relationships aren’t easy. They require communication, negotiation, compromise, and a lot of acceptance of differences; they also require you to stand up for yourself, to be honest about your desires and your feelings, and—in some situations, where something vitally important to your health and well-being is at stake—to absolutely refuse to compromise.

I AM CALLING YOU to a life of constant communion with Me. Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life. You yearn for a simplified lifestyle so that your communication with Me can be uninterrupted. But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world. Accept each day just as it comes, and find Me in the midst of it all. Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings. Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment. He will keep you close to Me.

The blues emerge immediately after the overthrow of Reconstruction. During this period, unmediated African American voices were routinely silenced through the imposition of a new regime of censorship based on exile, assassination and massacre. The blues became an alternative form of communication, analysis, moral intervention, observation, celebration for a new generation that had witnessed slavery, freedom, and unfreedom in rapid succession between 1860 and 1875. Perhaps no other generation of a single ethnic group in the United States, except for Native Americans, witnessed such a tremendous tragedy in such a short period of time. Performer Cash McCall described the blues as the almost magical uncorking of the censored histories of countless people, places and events: Well, in the old days, you see, you weren’t allowed to express your feelings all that much. A lot of stuff was bottled up inside. Coming up from the old days until now … You can’t explain it in a conversation so the best way to do it is to sing.33 On the other hand, guitarist Willie Foster described them as the irrepressible voice of daily anguish: The black folks got the blues from working … You work all day long, you come home sometimes you didn’t have

If you don't know how to express your feelings, learn it. Don't use this as an excuse to avoid talking to people.

That is, when you didn’t tell them you felt hurt, or didn’t communicate your needs and wants, assuming they would naturally cater to them.

They Are Always Busy At the end of the day, it is all about priorities, and as their spouse, you should be their first, no exceptions! If they have started treating you like a second option or taking you for granted, it is a sign they have lost interest in you. They Don’t Talk Much If communication has become non-existent between the two of you, it means they couldn’t care less about your feelings, emotions, or thoughts. If they cared, they would have always figured out something to talk about. They Keep Blaming You Constantly blaming you or torturing you with name-calling is a sign that they are deliberating trying to distance you from themselves. A classic sign of disinterest! They Keep Pointing Out Your Flaws If they were always praising you for little things a while ago and have now become downright nasty and determined at pointing out your flaws to you, it means they no longer find you or your personality interesting. They Have Changed You But sadly, for the worst. You no longer smile like you used to, feel agitated most of the time, are confused, and lost in your thoughts. They Don’t Include You in Anything They make decisions without you, are not bothered about sharing their plans, will disregard any of the plans you make and so on. They are trying to subtly tell you that they no longer want to have anything to do with you. They Don’t Apologize Anymore They would always leave a text about being late and try to make it up to you when they returned home but no such thing happens now. They Have Excuses for Everything Apart from empty apologies, they also make excuses for everything. They won’t come with you to the party or at a family gathering, they won’t complete their part of the chores, and they will say they are tired when you try to initiate sex… another one of their excuses! They No Longer Care About Your Welfare They are less empathetic or rarely show any concern over your mood, your state of mind or your physical exhaustion. They Forget Things Be it birthdays, a plan made a week ago, or an invitation to a wedding you have stopped bragging about all week. They tend to forget or overlook the things that matter the most to you which also shows that their ability to listen attentively has also decreased. They Treat Others Better They will have the humblest of smiles for their friends and even show interest in what a stranger has to say to them, say a man at the grocery store, but act groggy and frustrated with you all the time. They Have or Are Cheating On You Cheating is a sure-tell sign that confirms their disinterest. They have fallen in love with someone else or are having an affair, which is why you no longer appeal to them as a prospective candidate for a partner.

Specifically, the most significant results of the music interventions on the psychological side can be identified in the aspects more closely related to mood, especially in the reduction of the depressive and anxiety’s component, and in the improvement of the emotional expression, communication and interpersonal skills, self-esteem and quality of life.

When you find the person you want to spend your life with, make sure you let them know up front what matters to you. And if those things change, don’t stay quiet about it. You can’t grow together unless you communicate your feelings.

I need to get the *&%! out of here.” Look around. Are you surrounded by a real threat? If yes, please do get out of there quickly. If not—and this is obviously the most probable outcome—stay. Let it come. Decide to no longer let your life be dictated by the panic attacks. From now on, you no longer run from them. The anxiety and panic attacks don’t get to decide when you leave, what experiences you miss, how low or high the quality of your life is. You do! If the panic attack comes, you take it with you. You’ll smother it with so much acceptance and love, it will eventually grow tired of accompanying you! Besides the “whatever happens it’s OK,” it’s also beneficial to say, “Bring it on. I’m going to stay, and I want to see what happens. Let’s find out if it really is as bad as my negative voice wants me to believe.” This is powerful, and I’ve discussed it in detail before. What you’re feeling during a panic attack is already the pinnacle of what anxiety has in store. It cannot get worse; you’re already there. Furthermore, a full-blown panic attack can only last a couple of minutes. The adrenaline you’re feeling will be taken back up by organs like your liver; it will pass! Even if you stay. Do you know what the benefit of leaving is? Why does your anxiety often calm down when you do leave? Once you reach your safe place, you’ll probably think it’s over. You’re saved. As a result, your anxiety will drop. Can you see why? It’s because you told yourself so! You calmed yourself down by telling yourself you’re safe. The physical danger, in that safe place, is as small as it was in the place you were previously in. So why not stay there and calm your mind and body down there, on the spot? It works just as well. And the added benefit is that you won’t have to keep avoiding that location in the future. At first, it will take you five to twenty minutes to calm down, which is a bit more than if you sought out the exit and left. But the long-term consequences are so much better since you communicate to your mind and body that you no longer fear the fear. And that’s always the best choice to make.

Don't expect someone to understand you if you aren't communicating your feelings.

Things many people consider fundamental to the core of a human existence-the ability to will your face to match and express your feelings, to expect your body to obey your commands, to use words to communicate-these are things this infinitesimal partial defect in 0.00000003% of Eugene's genes has ripped away from him.

clarifying your thoughts vs. feelings before communicating them, leading to effective, satisfying talks with your partner.

You’re getting what you want, sure, but at the cost of respect, warmth, and love from your partner. The crush-the-other-person style of communication creates resentment, which eats away at relationships like a parasite.

I feel frustrated.” It’s that simple. It’s okay to feel frustrated. What’s not okay is when your frustration leads to mean, rude, and disrespectful communication.

The other part of communication is communicating your feelings. Friendship is a two-way street; it's mutual. Be honest about your needs and your feelings at all times, with no exceptions. If you're not articulating your feelings, we're not going to pick up on it--we don't take hints, we don't pick up on invisible social cues, we're not going to understand radio silence. We need real communication or we're both going to get confused and upset.

I personally don’t like it when there are dishes in the sink, but I understand this isn’t necessarily your personal preference. I would like us to work something out in that area.

I’d like to talk about why I’m frustrated. Are you willing to hear me out?

your goal isn’t to “win,” it’s to engage in an effective conversation. Whenever either individual wins at the expense of the other partner, the relationship as a whole loses.

The terms “should” and “shouldn’t” are insults in disguise.