“
Unrequited love is the only emotion that allows sane people to taste the “life sentence” of someone with bipolar disorder. The longer they hang onto a lost cause the more unstable they look to everyone else. They contradict their own belief systems and statements, by circling the drain with two competing emotions—love and hate.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Your habit of avoiding mental and emotional discomfort is your #1 reason for your being stuck where you are in life.
”
”
Tony Dovale
“
People that hold onto hate for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. They falsely believe if they forgive they are letting their enemy believe they are a doormat. What they don’t understand is hatred can’t be isolated or turned off. It manifests in their health, choices and belief systems. Their values and religious beliefs make adjustments to justify their negative emotions. Not unlike malware infesting a hard drive, their spirit slowly becomes corrupted and they make choices that don’t make logical sense to others. Hatred left unaddressed will crash a person’s spirit. The only thing he or she can do is to reboot, by fixing him or herself, not others. This might require installing a firewall of boundaries or parental controls on their emotions. Regardless of the approach, we are all connected on this "network of life" and each of us is responsible for cleaning up our spiritual registry.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Yes, I value emotions deeply.
Call me sensitive, call me weak, call me outdated, call me anything you may, but tell me the truth, can you deny emotions give life to life.
If Emotions are an integral part of Being Human,
Why do people suppress feeling them ?
Does the bruising scare them ? Than I wonder who is weak ?
”
”
Wordions
“
She was so emotional, on the verge of tears. This was what I'd wanted to prevent with all those quick disappearances, the tangledness of farewells and all the baggage they brought with them. But now, looking at Deb, I realized what else I'd given up: knowing for sure that someone was going to miss me. What happened to goodbye, Michael in Westcott had written on my Ume.com page. I was pretty sure I knew, now. It had been packed away in a box of its own, trying to be forgotten, until I really needed it. Until now.
”
”
Sarah Dessen (What Happened to Goodbye)
“
Dissociated trauma memories don't reveal themselves like ordinary memories. Like pieces of a puzzle, they escape the primitive part of our brain where the trauma has been stored without words.
These starkly vivid and detailed images are defined by our five senses and emotions, but there is no 'story'. So we are left trying to comprehend the incomprehensible while trying to describe what doesn't make sense.
Healing is about collecting as many pieces as possible. It's finding words for what we are seeing and feeling - even when it sounds crazy. It's daring to speak our truth until it makes sense.
”
”
Jeanne McElvaney (Spirit Unbroken: Abby's Story)
“
Yes, I value emotions deeply.
Call me sensitive, call me weak, call me outdated, call me anything you may, but tell me the truth, can you deny emotions give life to life.
If Emotions are an integral part of Being Human,
why do people suppress feeling them ?
Does the bruising scare them ? Than I wonder who is weak ?
”
”
Drishti Bablani, Wordions | Uns
“
Yes, I value emotions deeply.
Call me sensitive, call me weak, call me outdated, call me anything you may, but tell me the truth, can you deny emotions give life to life.
If Emotions are an integral part of Being Human,
Why do people suppress feeling them ?
Does the bruising scare them ? Than I wonder who is weak ?
”
”
Drishti Bablani, Wordions
“
There really is nothing normal about being in love with someone. It's a million emotions with a million excuses.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Emotions are some merciless attention seekers you know.
You ignore them they destroy you.
”
”
Drishti Bablani, Wordions | Uns
“
And so, like any emotionally cornered woman, I did something extreme. I joined eLove.com to try to find someone special—or not horrible—for New Year's. The internet had found me everything else of import over the last few years: An apartment, a job, a car… that Kate Spade bag. So, yes, I had some confidence in the internet.
”
”
Caitie Quinn (The Last Single Girl (Brew Ha Ha #1))
“
HATE is the shortest of human emotions, it is stronger than love, more compelling than lust. Page 30. THE SCALPEL – GAME BENEATH (www.hsrissam.com
”
”
H.S. Rissam (The Scapel: Game Beneath)
“
The only way to understand the reason behind someone's hurtful behaviour is -
Understanding that every action is driven by an underlying emotion. Emotions especially the negative one's are our reactions to the conflict between our beliefs and reality.
The influence of these negative emotions, causes us to act in ways that hurt others.
So if someone hurts you, it actually indicates
that they have an unsatisfied need or a wound
that needs attention.
”
”
Wordions
“
Many will notice the change in your attitude,
and make judgements, call you names – arrogant,
Ill tempered. But only a select few will see beyond
and notice the hurt, pain, rejection that triggered
the anger, and activated your defence
in the form of changed attitude.
And of these few who notice, barely exceptional ones, will care enough to act and see their contribution to your pain – apologise or take corrective actions, to help your heart heal.
To find someone who understands your emotions so well and does not define you by your outbursts or your temper, but instead sees the factors that trigger those reactions in you, even when they are at the receiving end, is nothing less than a miracle.
”
”
Drishti Bablani, Wordions
“
Passion is that strong feeling of emotion, ecstasy, or excitement which you feel for something or someone. This sizzling desire can light up your soul and fuel your commitment to be persistent in spite of obstacles and unfavorable circumstances. This depth of motivation can transform your life unlike anything else and reignite your purpose and your passion.
”
”
Susan C. Young
“
Any expert will tell you that if you want emotionally committed relationships then people must be allowed to be true to who they are.
”
”
Stan Slap
“
In the end, everyone ends up faking, Some fake - Fake emotions as real, and some real emotions as fake.
”
”
Wordions
“
It doesn’t have to be that bad, I tell myself. Just turn off your mind, do what he says. Don’t let him touch your emotions. Wall them up. It will be fine. You will be fine. You’re a survivor.
”
”
Emma St. Clair (Royally Rearranged (Sweet Royal RomCom, #1))
“
There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.
-i got this quote from a john buccigross column (ESPN.com). the reason why i got it, was that i got pissed at this woman i used to work with that always sent quotes with her e-mails that she thought made her look smart....we're both teachers....anyhow....i thought this quote made me seem extra smart, but really, i think it's kinda lame....
”
”
Arnold Bennett
“
Whether the person you are dealing with is playing a Monkey dominance game or is a pure predator, he wants to deal with a Monkey. When you are in your Monkey brain you are emotional and most of all predictable. Predators (rapists, robbers, murderers--but also the cold-blooded corporate ladder climber) thrive on this and count on you following your social scripts.
”
”
Rory Miller (ConCom: Conflict Communication A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication)
“
When you love someone you
protect them.
Protect them from not just others but
sometimes yourself too - from your own
sharp edges.
Such is the flow of the emotional current
that if they are hurt you feel as much pain.
And so, you either willingly smoothen your
corners or you turn yourself away so as to
save them from the bruises.
And perhaps that's how
Love makes you a better person.
”
”
Drishti Bablani
“
In a society that dreads old age and death, aging holds a special terror for those who fear dependence and whose' self-esteem requires the admiration usually reserved for youth, beauty, celebrity, or charm. The usual defenses against the ravages of age—identification with ethical or artistic values beyond one's immediate interests, intellectual curiosity, the consoling emotional warmth derived from happy relationships in the past—can do nothing for the narcissist. Unable to derive whatever com-fort comes from identification with historical continuity, he finds it impossible, on the contrary, "to accept the fact that a younger generation now possesses many of the previously cherished gratifications of beauty, wealth, power and, particularly, creativity. To be able to enjoy life in a process involving a growing identification with other people's happiness and achievements is tragically beyond the capacity of narcissistic personalities.
”
”
Christopher Lasch (The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in An Age of Diminishing Expectations)
“
Laughter paves the way for many things. It's one way to build intimacy between people, something every healthy team needs. Humor has always been a primary part of how I lead. If I can get someone to laugh, they're at ease. If they see me laugh at things, they're at ease. It creates emotional space, a kind of trust, to use in a relationship. Sharing laughter also creates a bank account of positive energy you can withdraw from, or borrow against, when dealing with tough issues at work. It's a relationship cushion.
”
”
Berkun, Scott (The Year Without Pants: WordPress.com and the Future of Work)
“
No human ever emotionally hurt another
expectations, perceptions, attachments and desires did.
”
”
Drishti Bablani
“
Intimacy calls for listening and speaking both.
Listening to a person’s changing emotions and speaking about your own emotions.
Intimacy flourishes by knowing and being known.
”
”
Drishti Bablani
“
Most managers have plenty of emotional commitment to give to their jobs. If they can be convinced it’s safe and sensible to give it.
”
”
Stan Slap
“
Emotional commitment is a personal choice. Managers understand this even if their companies don’t.
”
”
Stan Slap
“
A manager’s emotional commitment is worth more than their financial, intellectual and physical commitment combined.
”
”
Stan Slap
“
A genuine smile is your best fashion accessory and the most important thing you can wear.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
Just be Nice. Nice—this little word has a big meaning. Use it generously. Being nice helps people feel emotionally safe, allowing for more authentic, trusting, and happy interactions.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
Regardless of the trends we see in the deterioration of morality, respect, and values, wise people will still strive to take the high road to rise above the ever-increasing rudeness and stand apart from the crowd.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
All languages that derive fromLatin form the word 'compassion' by combining the prefix meaning 'with' (com-) and the root meaning 'suffering' (Late Latin, passio). In other languages- Czech, Polish, German, and Swedish, for instance- this word is translated by a noun formed of an equivalent prefixcombined with the word that means 'feeling' (Czech, sou-cit; Polish, wsspół-czucie; German, Mit-gefühl; Swedish, medkänsla).
In languages that derive from Latin, 'compassion' means: we cannot look on coolly as others suffer; or, we sympathize with those who suffer. Another word with approximately the same meaning, 'pity' (French, pitié; Italian, pietà; etc.), connotes a certain condescension towards the sufferer. 'To take pity on a woman' means that we are better off than she, that we stoop to her level, lower ourselves.
That is why the word 'compassion' generally inspires suspicion; it designates what is considered an inferior, second-rate sentiment that has little to do with love. To love someone out of compassion means not really to love.
In languages that form the word 'compassion' not from the root 'suffering' but from the root 'feeling', the word is used in approximately the same way, but to contend that it designates a bad or inferior sentiment is difficult. The secret strength of its etymology floods the word with another light and gives it a broader meaning: to have compassion (co-feeling) means not only to be able to live with the other's misfortune but also to feel with him any emotion- joy, anxiety, happiness, pain. This kind of compassion (in the sense of soucit, współczucie, Mitgefühl, medkänsla) therefore signifies the maximal capacity of affective imagination, the art of emotional telepathy. In the hierarchy of sentiments, then, it is supreme.
By revealing to Tomas her dream about jabbing needles under her fingernails, Tereza unwittingly revealed that she had gone through his desk. If Tereza had been any other woman, Tomas would never have spoken to her again. Aware of that, Tereza said to him, 'Throw me out!' But instead of throwing her out, he seized her and kissed the tips of her fingers, because at that moment he himself felt the pain under her fingernails as surely as if the nerves of her fingers led straight to his own brain.
Anyone who has failed to benefit from the the Devil's gift of compassion (co-feeling) will condemn Tereza coldly for her deed, because privacy is sacred and drawers containing intimate correspondence are not to be opened. But because compassion was Tomas's fate (or curse), he felt that he himself had knelt before the open desk drawer, unable to tear his eyes from Sabina's letter. He understood Tereza, and not only was he incapable of being angry with her, he loved her all the more.
”
”
Milan Kundera
“
Jane started saying ‘Welcome to being in a relationship’ to me over and over again.
I’d tell her about all the compromises I was making and how much Andy’s self-absorption could irritate me and how I’d noticed that he’d stopped finding me sexy and started finding me sweet – that he used to grab my bum and kiss me, and now he kissed me on the head and pulled the zipper of my jacket up and down in a cutesy way. ‘Wait till he stops finding you sweet,’ she said. ‘That’s a whole other phase.’
I told her about how much time was spent comforting him and buoying him up and getting him out of low moods. How his emotions were always more important than mine – that when we had arguments, his feelings were discussed as facts and mine were interrogated as fabrications. ‘Jen,’ she said matter-of-factly, ‘do you even want a boyfriend?’
I asked her if this was all stuff she put up with and she nodded. ‘Welcome to being in a relationship,’ she said.
And I thought: I don’t want to be welcome here. I don’t want to get comfortable here.
”
”
Dolly Alderton (Good Material)
“
While good old-fashioned manners and etiquette have worked for centuries, new standards and expectations have come into play with the modern world. Behaviors which would have been appalling in the past are now socially acceptable.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
Sometimes, when I am sad,
I am not sad for myself.
I am sad for the world,
I am sad to see where we are going.
I am sad to see how we can
smile by making someone else sad.
I am sad to see how we have
killed our conscience and keep
toying with emotions
I am sad to see how people
are confusing selfishness
with self love.
I am sad to see how we have come to
a stage where we trust strangers
more than friends.
Let's fix this, Let's open our hearts
Let's listen to them, let's do our bit.
”
”
Wordions
“
In the end, no matter what obstacles a company faces in the Thank You Economy, the solution will always be the same. Competitors are bigger? Outcare them. They’re cheaper? Outcare them. They’ve got celebrity status and you don’t? Outcare them. Social media gives you the tools to touch your consumer and create an emotion where before there might not have been one. It doesn’t matter if you’re not small or cool or sexy—people can get pumped up about the craziest stuff. I mean, really, who could have predicted the guy in a trench coat pulverizing iPhones in a blender? (Seriously, if you haven’t seen it, check out willitblend.com. It’s fantastic!)
”
”
Gary Vaynerchuk (The Thank You Economy)
“
It is unimpressive to not return what’s been borrowed. Whether you have borrowed money, folding chairs, yard tools, or a popular book, always make sure you return to another person what is rightfully theirs. Lending it to you in the first place was a gift of trust and assistance. Being slow to give back in return may be considered rude.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
A man worth his salt will treat a lady like a lady and make the effort to be a gentleman. While independent women are fully capable of being self-reliant, the majority whom I know appreciate being treated with respect, consideration, and chivalry. For the women who yearn for the old-fashioned, good-hearted, chivalrous guy, I promise, they do exist.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
One of the most characteristic Italian emotions, it seems to me, is that mixture of envy, perplexity and wonder that comes when one realises that others are working the system far more effectively than oneself - said com'è? - this together with the knowledge that they are doing so and will continue to do so with absolute impunity. Until it dawns on you that the system was invented in order to be worked in this way.
”
”
Tim Parks (An Italian Education)
“
Our emotions, especially the negative ones, gather color and intensity from the difference between our perceptions of what is right or good and the reality.
The key to inner peace is not suppressing emotions but flexing perceptions.
The more accepting, tolerant and understanding we become towards other perspectives and possibilities, the more our perceptional flexibility increases and lesser power our emotions gain over us.
”
”
Drishti Bablani
“
This is not the “rom-com” depiction of love. Authentic love doesn’t always feel “good” or even romantic. The cycles of emotional addiction that we commonly associate with romance aren’t activated, so it doesn’t have the charge of excitement born of fear of abandonment or withdrawal of love and support. It is a grounded state. You do not need to perform in a certain way or hide parts of yourself to receive love. You will still feel bored or unsettled. You will still find yourself attracted to other people and may even mourn the loss of the single life. Conscious relationships aren’t fairy tales. There’s no “You complete me.” There’s no smile and poof!—living happily ever after. Like everything else you have encountered so far, authentic love requires work. The path forward is to become aware of the role of self-betrayal in your trauma bonds and the role that you can play in honoring your own needs.
”
”
Nicole LePera (How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self)
“
The Physical Language of Listening
Active listening is a physical process which transcends simply hearing. Your body language speaks on your behalf as to whether you are fully present and engaged . . .
• Make eye contact.
• Nod your head; confirm.
• Use your eyebrows and expressions of emotions to show that you're paying attention.
• Lean forward.
• Listen patiently to demonstrate respect and sensitivity.
• Open your physical presence to encourage them to continue.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
“
It is unimpressive to interrupt another person while they are talking. Interrupting someone in mid-sentence demonstrates that your focus is on yourself, not the person talking. I had a friend who used a humorous retort whenever someone would interrupt him. He would graciously, albeit sarcastically, say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to speak while you were interrupting.” It always got a laugh, yet he was cleverly letting the intruder know of his infraction without being too confrontational.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
UN-Impressives of the Poor Listener
• Thinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do.
• Allowing your emotional reactions to take over.
• Interrupting the person talking.
• Replying before you hear all the facts.
• Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions.
• Being preoccupied with what you're going to say next.
• Getting defensive or being over-eager.
• One-upmanship—feeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share.
• Imposing an unsolicited opinion.
• Ignoring and changing the subject altogether.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
“
12 Reasons Why People Avoid Eye Contact
1. They do not want to reveal their feelings.
2. They are not being honest and truthful.
3. It makes them feel vulnerable and exposed.
4. They are being rude or indifferent.
5. They are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about something.
6. They are nervous or lacking confidence.
7. It makes them feel very uncomfortable.
8. They are arrogant, snobby, and pretentious.
9. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid.
10. They are shy or introverted.
11. They are accessing internal thoughts or emotions to process and contemplate information.
12. Or as mentioned before, and important to remember, it may simply be a cultural value or behavior.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
All of us have Dragons from the Past influencing our present feelings and actions.”[1] Unless you recognize and tame them, and consciously calm and protect your amygdala from overfiring, these dragons will haunt your unconscious mind and drive emotional pain for the rest of your life. What blows from an ember, or a small action of another, can turn into a destructive fire of anxiety and rage. After learning from Dr. May, I started using this concept with my patients, including Jimmy. Over time I identified 13 Dragons from the Past, including their origins, triggers that make them overpowering, and how they cause us to react. All of us have more than one Dragon from the Past driving our behavior, and they are always interacting with the Dragons from the Past of others, causing both internal and external battles—a modern-day Game of Thrones. All of us have primary and secondary dragons driving our behavior. Primary ones are present most of the time, while secondary ones come out during times of stress, such as the COVID-19 pandemic that began in 2020. You’ll learn which ones apply to you. (You can also take the Hidden Dragons quiz at KnowYourDragons.com.)
”
”
Daniel G. Amen (Your Brain Is Always Listening: Tame the Hidden Dragons That Control Your Happiness, Habits, and Hang-Ups)
“
The ion and dust tails seemed to be pointing away from the crackling fire of the sun. Looking more closely, one tail was gray mixed with yellow and white and the second was blue fading into teal. The color change was softer than melting wax. A bright green coma glowed around the center. I felt as though I was seeing magic for the first time as the warmth from our great star heated up the comet, causing it to spew dust and gasses into a giant glowing head larger than most planets.
The comet’s magnificence and grandeur stirred me, much like a transcendent piece of music that envelops one’s soul. “I’ve never seen a comet before,” I confessed, my voice filled with a mix of wonder and emotion.
I could feel a tear form in my eye. I blinked it away. Bello, pulchram, bela, hermoso, yafah, ómorfi, Meilì. I could express the concept of beauty in numerous languages, but none of them truly captured the essence of my feelings as I gazed at the comet. It was a sight of indescribable beauty, as if musical notes had been sketched across the canvas of the night sky. I would never forget the comet—similar to Xuan, exciting, rare, and stunning.
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Xuan whispered.
I looked at Xuan, but instead of looking at the sky, Xuan was staring at me. He stood, his hands jammed into his pockets, as he quickly turned his gaze to wander over the peaceful metropolis.
”
”
Kayla Cunningham (Fated to Love You (Chasing the Comet Book 1))
“
True love is in despair and is enchanted over a glove lost
or a handkerchief found, and eternity is required for its devotion
and its hopes. It is composed both of the infinitely
great and the infinitely little.
If you are a stone, be adamant; if you are a plant, be the
sensitive plant; if you are a man, be love.
Free eBooks at Planet eBook.com 1579
Nothing suffices for love. We have happiness, we desire
paradise; we possess paradise, we desire heaven.
Oh ye who love each other, all this is contained in love.
Understand how to find it there. Love has contemplation as
well as heaven, and more than heaven, it has voluptuousness.
‘Does she still come to the Luxembourg?’ ‘No, sir.’ ‘This
is the church where she attends mass, is it not?’ ‘She no longer
comes here.’ ‘Does she still live in this house?’ ‘She has
moved away.’ ‘Where has she gone to dwell?’
‘She did not say.’
What a melancholy thing not to know the address of
one’s soul!
Love has its childishness, other passions have their pettinesses.
Shame on the passions which belittle man! Honor to
the one which makes a child of him!
There is one strange thing, do you know it? I dwell in the
night. There is a being who carried off my sky when she went
away.
Oh! would that we were lying side by side in the same
grave, hand in hand, and from time to time, in the darkness,
gently caressing a finger,—that would suffice for my
eternity!
Ye who suffer because ye love, love yet more. To die of
love, is to live in it.
Love. A sombre and starry transfiguration is mingled
with this torture. There is ecstasy in agony.
Oh joy of the birds! It is because they have nests that they
sing.
1580 Les Miserables
Love is a celestial respiration of the air of paradise.
Deep hearts, sage minds, take life as God has made it; it
is a long trial, an incomprehensible preparation for an unknown
destiny. This destiny, the true one, begins for a man
with the first step inside the tomb. Then something appears
to him, and he begins to distinguish the definitive. The definitive,
meditate upon that word. The living perceive the
infinite; the definitive permits itself to be seen only by the
dead. In the meanwhile, love and suffer, hope and contemplate.
Woe, alas! to him who shall have loved only bodies,
forms, appearances! Death will deprive him of all. Try to
love souls, you will find them again.
I encountered in the street, a very poor young man who
was in love. His hat was old, his coat was worn, his elbows
were in holes; water trickled through his shoes, and the stars
through his soul.
What a grand thing it is to be loved! What a far grander
thing it is to love! The heart becomes heroic, by dint of passion.
It is no longer composed of anything but what is pure; it
no longer rests on anything that is not elevated and great. An
unworthy thought can no more germinate in it, than a nettle
on a glacier. The serene and lofty soul, inaccessible to vulgar
passions and emotions, dominating the clouds and the
shades of this world, its follies, its lies, its hatreds, its vanities,
its miseries, inhabits the blue of heaven, and no longer feels
anything but profound and subterranean shocks of destiny,
as the crests of mountains feel the shocks of earthquake.
If there did not exist some one who loved, the sun would
become extinct.
”
”
Victor Hugo
“
Dear Jon,
A real Dear Jon letter, how perfect is that?! Who knew you’d get dumped twice in the same amount of months. See, I’m one paragraph in and I’ve already fucked this.
I’m writing this because I can’t say any of this to you face-to-face. I’ve spent the last few months questioning a lot of my friendships and wondering what their purpose is, if not to work through big emotional things together. But I now realize: I don’t want that. And I know you’ve all been there for me in other ways. Maybe not in the literal sense, but I know you all would have done anything to fix me other than listening to me talk and allowing me to be sad without solutions. And now I am writing this letter rather than picking up the phone and talking to you because, despite every thing I know, I just don’t want to, and I don’t think you want me to either.
I lost my mind when Jen broke up with me. I’m pretty sure it’s been the subject of a few of your WhatsApp conversations and more power to you, because I would need to vent about me if I’d been friends with me for the last six months. I don’t want it to have been in vain, and I wanted to tell you what I’ve learnt.
If you do a high-fat, high-protein, low-carb diet and join a gym, it will be a good distraction for a while and you will lose fat and gain muscle, but you will run out of steam and eat normally again and put all the weight back on. So maybe don’t bother. Drunkenness is another idea. I was in blackout for most of the first two months and I think that’s fine, it got me through the evenings (and the occasional afternoon). You’ll have to do a lot of it on your own, though, because no one is free to meet up any more. I think that’s fine for a bit. It was for me until someone walked past me drinking from a whisky miniature while I waited for a night bus, put five quid in my hand and told me to keep warm. You’re the only person I’ve ever told this story.
None of your mates will be excited that you’re single again. I’m probably your only single mate and even I’m not that excited. Generally the experience of being single at thirty-five will feel different to any other time you’ve been single and that’s no bad thing.
When your ex moves on, you might become obsessed with the bloke in a way that is almost sexual. Don’t worry, you don’t want to fuck him, even though it will feel a bit like you do sometimes.
If you open up to me or one of the other boys, it will feel good in the moment and then you’ll get an emotional hangover the next day. You’ll wish you could take it all back. You may even feel like we’ve enjoyed seeing you so low. Or that we feel smug because we’re winning at something and you’re losing. Remember that none of us feel that.
You may become obsessed with working out why exactly she broke up with you and you are likely to go fully, fully nuts in your bid to find a satisfying answer. I can save you a lot of time by letting you know that you may well never work it out. And even if you did work it out, what’s the purpose of it? Soon enough, some girl is going to be crazy about you for some undefinable reason and you’re not going to be interested in her for some undefinable reason. It’s all so random and unfair – the people we want to be with don’t want to be with us and the people who want to be with us are not the people we want to be with.
Really, the thing that’s going to hurt a lot is the fact that someone doesn’t want to be with you any more. Feeling the absence of someone’s company and the absence of their love are two different things. I wish I’d known that earlier. I wish I’d known that it isn’t anybody’s job to stay in a relationship they don’t want to be in just so someone else doesn’t feel bad about themselves.
Anyway. That’s all. You’re going to be okay, mate.
Andy
”
”
Dolly Alderton (Good Material)
“
If you had an Internet connection and lived in North America at the time, you may have seen it. Vasquez is the man behind the “Double Rainbow” video, which at last check had 38 million views. In the clip, Vasquez pans his camera back and forth to show twin rainbows he’d discovered outside his house, first whispering in awe, then escalating in volume and emotion as he’s swept away in the moment. He hoots with delight, monologues about the rainbows’ beauty, sobs, and eventually waxes existential. “What does it mean?” Vasquez crows into the camera toward the end of the clip, voice filled with tears of sheer joy, marveling at rainbows like no man ever has or probably ever will again. It’s hard to watch without cracking up. That same month, the viral blog BuzzFeed boosted a different YouTuber’s visibility. Michelle Phan, a 23-year-old Vietnamese American makeup artist, posted a home video tutorial about how to apply makeup to re-create music star Lady Gaga’s look from the recently popular music video “Bad Romance.” BuzzFeed gushed, its followers shared, and Lady Gaga’s massive fanbase caught wind of the young Asian girl who taught you how to transform into Gaga. Once again, the Internet took the video and ran with it. Phan’s clip eventually clocked in at roughly the same number of views as “Double Rainbow.” These two YouTube sensations shared a spotlight in the same summer. Tens of millions of people watched them, because of a couple of superconnectors. So where are Vasquez and Phan now? Bear Vasquez has posted more than 1,300 videos now, inspired by the runaway success of “Double Rainbow.” But most of them have been completely ignored. After Kimmel and the subsequent media flurry, Vasquez spent the next few years trying to recapture the magic—and inadvertent comedy—of that moment. But his monologues about wild turkeys or clips of himself swimming in lakes just don’t seem to find their way to the chuckling masses like “Double Rainbow” did. He sells “Double Rainbow” T-shirts. And wears them. Today, Michelle Phan is widely considered the cosmetic queen of the Internet, and is the second-most-watched female YouTuber in the world. Her videos have a collective 800 million views. She amassed 5 million YouTube subscribers, and became the official video makeup artist for Lancôme, one of the largest cosmetics brands in the world. Phan has since founded the beauty-sample delivery company Ipsy.com, which has more than 150,000 paying subscribers, and created her own line of Sephora cosmetics. She continues to run her video business—now a full-blown production company—which has brought in millions of dollars from advertising. She’s shot to the top of a hypercompetitive industry at an improbably young age. And she’s still climbing. Bear Vasquez is still cheerful. But he’s not been able to capitalize on his one-time success. Michelle Phan could be the next Estée Lauder. This chapter is about what she did differently.
”
”
Shane Snow (Smartcuts: The Breakthrough Power of Lateral Thinking)
“
Self care is any action you purposefully take to improve your physical, emotional or spiritual well being. Too often, we do not make time for sufficient self care because we’re too busy taking care of others. Life’s demands at home, in our community and at work can take our lives out of balance. Self care can be getting more rest, eating healthier food, spending more time in thoughtful reflection, being kinder to yourself, smiling more, playing, or engaging in any activity that renews you. By making time for self care, you prepare yourself to be your best so you can share your gifts with the world. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. © 2017 Eleanor Brownn eleanorbrownn.com
”
”
Eleanor Brownn
“
It’s not very often that a writer’s words can punch through the paper and throttle the lifeblood out of you, but Tony’s words manage to do just that, his experiences are so powerful and emotional and full of fucking heart that it pales everybody else’s work into insignificance. Tony O’Neill will be remembered in years to come, when Monica Ali and Zadie Smith are nothing but footnotes.” —StraightfromtheFridge.com
”
”
Tony O'Neill (Down and Out on Murder Mile)
“
Professional help for those suffering with their mental health is now only a key stroke away, thanks to a new online directory.
BALLARAT, VIC - Website truecounsellor.com.au is one of the only online catalogues of mental health services in Australia, allowing people to source, and instantly reach out for help - all from their computer.
Website truecounsellor.com.au is one of the only online catalogues of mental health services in Australia, allowing people to source, and instantly reach out for help - all from their computer.
Launched in 2015, the website allows people to simply search professionals nearby and review their profile, background, specialisations and fees.
Once they have selected a professional, they can immediately connect with them via phone, Skype or instant message to book an appointment.
Website founder Luciano Devoto was keen to establish the online directory after experiencing his own struggles.
“As a person who has suffered from bullying, as well as depression, I know how hard it can be to reach out for help,” he said.
“TrueCounsellor aims to make it easier for people to share their concerns safely and privately with experienced mental health professionals”
The website boasts a large number of qualified and experienced counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists, couples’ therapists and other mental health practitioners in various suburbs across Australia.
“What makes TrueCounsellor exciting is that we are the only directory offering mental health professionals the opportunity to promote their services for free,” Luciano said.
“We believe that by making it easy for these professionals to list their practices, we create real value for the public as they are able to find the right support.”
The website also offers extensive advice about conditions like depression and anxiety, along with information about common stressors including debt, relationship issues and career worries.
Watersedge Counselling director Colleen Morris, who is part of the online directory, said the website was a vital resource.
“Finding a mental healthcare professional that you consider to be safe, trustworthy, empathetic and effective can often be challenging and at times, a confusing process,” she said.
“Websites like TrueCounsellor make this task less confusing by allowing consumers to make a more informed choice that suits their need.”
To find a mental health expert or for more information, visit truecounsellor.com.au
About TrueCounsellor
TrueCounsellor is Australia’s online directory of mental health professionals. Our mission is to help people experiencing emotional challenges discover a better and happier version of themselves.
TrueCounsellor gives people access to a large number of qualified and experienced counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists, couples therapists and other mental health practitioners across Australia. Visitors can review profiles and learn about the practitioner’s background, specialisations and fees in order to make the best decision when booking an appointment!
In addition to offer a comprehensive list of qualified and experienced mental health professionals, TrueCounsellor has detailed information on mental health issues and types of therapy available.
For more information, visit truecounsellor.com.au
”
”
Luciano Devoto
“
As someone who gets teary-eyed at rom-coms, analyzes my feelings about my feelings, and shows off my cuts and bruises like a six-year-old, I naturally find stoicism absurd. But the truth is that C. really is good at self-soothing, both physically and emotionally, and if I had been able to leave her in peace for twenty minutes that day on the trail, the whole thing would have blown over like the wispy little cirrus clouds overhead. But I could not, so I goaded her into talking to me, whereupon I learned that what she had heard, in “just out hiking for the day” was dismissiveness—an implication that the activity we were engaged in was a pale version of what I really wanted to be doing.
”
”
Kathryn Schulz (Lost & Found: A Memoir)
“
- Tens noção, Samuel, de como a linguagem às vezes pode ser injusta?
- Estás-te a referir a quê?
- Enquanto as mulheres dizem umas às outras com a maior naturalidade do mundo "Adoro-te", nós temos de contentar-nos em dizer… "Lembras-te?
”
”
Enrique Arce (La grandeza de las cosas sin nombre)
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Singh then experimented on a vast number of species, such as com mon asters, petunias, cosmos, and white spider lilies, along with such economic plants as onions, sesame, radishes, sweet potatoes, and tapioca. Each of these species Singh entertained for several weeks just before sunrise with more than half a dozen separate ragas, one per experiment, played on the flute, violin, harmonium, and veena; the music lasted a half hour daily, scaled at a high pitch, with frequencies between one hundred and six hundred cycles per second. From all this experimentation Singh was able to state, in the magazine of the Bihar Agricultural College at Sabour, that he had "proven beyond any shadow of doubt that harmonic sound waves affect the growth, flowering, fruiting, and seed-yields of plants.
”
”
Peter Tompkins (The Secret Life of Plants: A Fascinating Account of the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Relations Between Plants and Man)
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Now Mrs. Retallack wondered how the effects of what she called "intellectual mathematically sophisticated music of both East and West" would appeal to plants. As program director for the American Guild of Organists, she chose choral preludes from Johann Sebastian Bach's Orgelbuchlein and the classical strains of the sitar, a less-com plicated Hindustani version of the south Indian veena, played by Ravi Shankar, the Bengali Brahmin. The plants gave positive evidence of liking Bach, since they leaned an unprecedented thirty-five degrees toward the preludes.
But even this affirmation was far exceeded by their reaction to Shankar: in their straining to reach the source of the classical Indian music they bent more than halfway to the horizontal, at angles in excess of sixty degrees, the nearest one almost embracing the speaker. In order not to be swayed by her own special taste for the classical music of both hemispheres Mrs. Retallack, at the behest of hundreds of young people, followed Bach and Shankar with trials of folk and "country-western" music. Her plants seemed to produce no more reaction than those in the silent chamber. Perplexed, Mrs. Retallack could only ask: "Were the plants in complete harmony with this kind of earthy music or didn't they care one way or the other?" Jazz caused her a real surprise. When her plants heard recordings as varied as Duke Ellington's "Soul Call" and two discs by Louis Arm strong, 5 5 percent of the plants leaned fifteen to twenty degrees toward the speaker, and growth was more abundant than in the silent chamber. Mrs. Retallack also determined that these different musical styles markedly affected the evaporation rate of distilled water inside the chambers. From full beakers, fourteen to seventeen milliliters evaporated over a given time period in the silent chambers, twenty to twenty five milliliters vaporized under the influence of Bach, Shankar, and jazz; but, with rock, the disappearance was fifty-five to fifty-nine milliliters.
”
”
Peter Tompkins (The Secret Life of Plants: A Fascinating Account of the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Relations Between Plants and Man)
“
The author's thesis is that the right to free speech is being attacked. He goes over several cases in which he feels this is evident: state censorship, freedom of the press, cancel culture, non-hate hate speech regulations, social media companies, "thoughtcrimes," and a lack of trust among the citizenship, to name the major ones. But despite what he claims and how he frames each of these subjects, it's clear that he's either missing the point or, ironically, criticizing the people who have exercised their right to free speech when it wasn't in line with his own personal ideals.
[...]
In his acknowledgements, Doyle writes: "I am grateful to all those organisations upholding freedom of speech at a time when there are so many who would see our liberties curbed." This is his fear incarnate. Who are these "so many"? By the end of the text, we still have no clear idea. I'd argue that it's a phantasm of the privileged few, one that signals a loss of social power. This text would then be a dirge for changing times ... the author and those of his station mourning the shift, in denial and desperate to pin the blame somewhere, even while time drags them through the stages of grief. I hope that they turn to each other for this emotional labour.
”
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Katie (Goodreads | https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/28470937-katie)
“
Art enables us to express what words often cannot, a symphony of colors and strokes that dance upon the canvas of emotions."
"Ceiling fans: where design and function intertwine, creating a gentle breeze at harborbreezefanc.com of elegance in any room.
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”
Amanda Hocking
“
The ion and dust tails seemed to be pointing away from the crackling fire of the sun. Looking more closely, one tail was gray mixed with yellow and white and the second was blue fading into teal. The color change was softer than melting wax. A bright green coma glowed around the center. I felt as though I was seeing magic for the first time as the warmth from our great star heated up the comet, causing it to spew dust and gasses into a giant glowing head larger than most planets.
The comet’s magnificence and grandeur stirred me, much like a transcendent piece of music that envelops one’s soul. “I’ve never seen a comet before,” I confessed, my voice filled with a mix of wonder and emotion.
I could feel a tear form in my eye. I blinked it away. Bello, pulchram, bela, hermoso, yafah, ómorfi, Meilì. I could express the concept of beauty in numerous languages, but none of them truly captured the essence of my feelings as I gazed at the comet. It was a sight of indescribable beauty, as if musical notes had been sketched across the canvas of the night sky. I would never forget the comet—similar to Xuan, exciting, rare, and stunning.
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Xuan whispered.
I looked at Xuan, but instead of looking at the sky, Xuan was staring at me. He stood, his hands jammed into his pockets, as he quickly turned his gaze to wander over the peaceful metropolis.
”
”
Kayla Cunningham
“
INTPs tend to be rather mistrusting of people and are rather sceptical. However, a lot of their trust is based on what the Ne function tells them about somebody. This can lead to a naivety and sometimes to prejudices based on intuitive perceptions of appearance and style. People can be a problem for INTPs: on the one hand they are fascinated by some types of people, especially more extraverted individuals, but a fear of irrational behaviour in others usually leads to caution. Friendship with INTPs develops at a pace which depends considerably on the temperament of the other person. INTPs dislike making the first move and tend to mirror the emotional content of the other person. A jolly person will quickly bring the INTP out of his shell, as much as that is possible, while a serious person will find a serious INTP looking back at him.
”
”
INTP Central [https://intpcentral.com/index_page_id_7.html]
“
The mystery of emotion is also evidence in the INTP’s use of music. He always chooses to listen to music which suits his current emotional state, be it aggression, warmth, excitement, relaxation or whatever... They feel an unpleasant sense of disharmony whenever a music style clashes with their emotional state. Indeed, it is remarkable how much attention they pay to their emotions when music is involved.
”
”
INTP Central [https://intpcentral.com/index_page_id_7.html]
“
In a similar way, INTPs dislike being in an atmosphere of emotional disharmony. If they need to say something unpleasant to someone close to them, they would prefer to avoid this task for fear of the disharmony that may result... The best cure for this reticence is experience: to express his feelings, to live through disharmony and come out the other side with greater experience of his emotional side.
”
”
INTP Central [https://intpcentral.com/index_page_id_7.html]
“
Moccaapedia - Continuously fostering meaningful and fulfilling connections with individuals who contribute to our emotional well-being is essential for attaining and maintaining long-term happiness.
moccaapedia.com
”
”
Moccaapedia
“
have a rather emotional meal in The Perfect Couple). Website: Wauwinet.com; Instagram: @thewauwinet. I Have a Place to Stay and a Way to Get Around;
Now What Do I Do? You’re on an island, so let’s start at the beach! Nantucket has fifty miles of coastline, most of it open to the public. Some of it has auto access but you’ll need a four-wheel-drive vehicle with the proper sticker. For beaches such as Fortieth Pole and Smith’s Point, you need a town beach sticker, yours for $100 (you procure one of these at the police station—and hey, maybe you’ll see Chief Kapenash!). The sticker to access Great Point is purchased at the entry; it costs $160 (you can
”
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Elin Hilderbrand (The Hotel Nantucket)
“
All languages that derive from Latin form the word “compassion” by combining the prefix meaning “with” (com-) and the root meaning “suffering” (Late Latin, passio). In other languages—Czech, Polish, German, and Swedish, for instance—this word is translated by a noun formed of an equivalent prefix combined with the word that means “feeling” (Czech, sou-cit; Polish, współ-czucie; German, Mit-gefühl; Swedish, med-känsla). In languages that derive from Latin, “compassion” means: we cannot look on coolly as others suffer; or, we sympathize with those who suffer. Another word with approximately the same meaning, “pity” (French, pitié; Italian, pietà; etc.), connotes a certain condescension towards the sufferer. “To take pity on a woman” means that we are better off than she, that we stoop to her level, lower ourselves. That is why the word “compassion” generally inspires suspicion; it designates what is considered an inferior, second-rate sentiment that has little to do with love. To love someone out of compassion means not really to love. In languages that form the word “compassion” not from the root “suffering” but from the root “feeling,” the word is used in approximately the same way, but to contend that it designates a bad or inferior sentiment is difficult. The secret strength of its etymology floods the word with another light and gives it a broader meaning: to have compassion (co-feeling) means not only to be able to live with the other’s misfortune but also to feel with him any emotion—joy, anxiety, happiness, pain. This kind of compassion (in the sense of soucit, współczucie, Mitgefühl, medkänsla) therefore signifies the maximal capacity of affective imagination, the art of emotional telepathy. In the hierarchy of sentiments, then, it is supreme.
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Milan Kundera (The Unbearable Lightness of Being)
“
Weird, wayward, willful, wild,
Salt in the air, laugh like a child
Stars in our hair, a charm in our smiles
Write our names in silver sand.
Three sisters dancing, hand in hand.
”
”
Laura Wood (Under Your Spell)
“
선발라인정보 Swlook.com 가입코드 : win24
「〃Swlook.cℴm〃가입코드: win24〃」
단폴제제없는 메이저 사설놀이터 Swing 입니다.
신규가입 첫충 10% / 매일충전 5% Event 진행중
네임드사다리 로하이 농구쿼터실시간 스타 롤 등등,
타 업체 대비 최고의 배당률 & 다양한 경기 지원!
다폴더보너스,스페셜보너스 등 다양한 이벤트를 통해 머니 지급!
까다로운 보안으로 여러분의 안전을 책임집니다."A horse. It was on that rock. Its not there now. It went over the cliff." Carters face was white. But he showed no other sign of emotion. The sergeant did not understand.
”
”
선발라인정보 Swlook.com 가입코드 : win24
“
Powerful Leaders passionately dream big and are intentional with the emotional tension that may try to block it; what's blocking your dream?
”
”
Michael Walker
“
It is important to be present emotionally and mentally to enjoy the process. The process is the most important because it is the seed for which you are nourishing. The hustle will always be there. It is important to understand what kind of dance you are having with the hustle in determining who is in control and leading the dance. If the hustle is in control, then it has been determined you are not. And outside forces and circumstances are in control of your life and your opportunities.
”
”
Steven Cuoco
“
축배팅 Swlook.com 가입코드 : win24
「〃Swlook.cℴm〃가입코드: win24〃」
축배팅사설놀이터 Swing 입니다.
신규가입 첫충 10% / 매일충전 5% Event 진행중
네임드사다리 * 로하이 * 농구쿼터실시간 * 스타 * 롤 등등,
타 업체 대비 최고의 배당률 ?다양한 경기 지원!
안전한놀이터추천,스페셜보너스 등 다양한 이벤트를 통해 머니 지급!
까다로운 보안으로 여러분의 안전을 책임집니다.Deep sadness is an artist of powers that affects people in different ways. To one it comes like the stroke of an arrow, shocking all the emotions to a sharper life. To another, it comes as the blow of a crushing strike. We may believe Murlock to have been affected that way.
”
”
축배팅 Swlook.com 가입코드 : win24
“
We are not what happens to us, who we get to be is who we say we’re going to be in the world-Gary of ProjectForgive.com
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Lynn R. Davis (Deliver Me From Negative Emotions: Emotional Self Help for Controlling Negative Feelings and Gaining Emotional Freedom (Negative Self Talk Book 2))
“
Advantage of Playing Educational Games: Kids Learn With Fun
Kids Game play has mentally worth profit because games have been shown to enhance attention, focus, and interval. Games have motivational profit because they encourage associate progressive, instead of an entity theory of intelligence. Games have emotional profit as a result of they induce positive mood states; additionally, there's speculative proof that games might support children develop flexible feeling regulation. Games have social profit because gamers area unit able to translate the prosocial skills that they learn from co-playing or multiplayer gameplay to “peer and family relations outside the gambling atmosphere.
DIFFERENT GAMES FOR DIFFERENT GOALS.
But it’s a little twisted to say that Educational games are “good for kids.” Kids games are not like fruits and vegetables. Don’t think them as if they were know
about vegetable and fruits name that help kids grow into healthy adults. Like all forms of media, it depends on the particular games and how they are used.
Kids Learn With Fun Present Different games such as Learn Vehicles for Kids,1 to 100 Spelling learning,123 number for kids,Maths Practice,Puzzle Games,Real Birds Game,Toodle Alphabets Puzzle and many more available at : kidslearnwithfun dot com
Play Kids Learn with Fun Game : Make your kid’s mind Creative.
Educational Kids games that inspire creative expression, such as Maths Practice Game and Puzzle game, push kids to think outside the norm and consider different methods of explanation. Exploring and expanding creativity through such kids games can also help with nurturing self-prize,self-love,self-habit and self-acceptance, and they inspire a greater connection between personality and activity.
In the end, sticking with a kids game through it can help kids develop patience and maturity in 0 to 5 year age.
”
”
Kidslearnwithfun
“
For many years, humans have relied on storytelling to pass on their traditions and share family pastimes. Nowadays, the method for storytelling has drastically changed. Today, if you want to reach a larger audience quickly, you can film yourself straight from home and put it on YouTube or Vimeo.com, and your story could be spread across the world in a matter of days. On a smaller scale, you can tell a story to your coworker or your child just before bed, and each will have a different impact. Below I’ll list a few examples of where storytelling is used and for what purpose.
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Matt Morris (Do Talk To Strangers: A Creative, Sexy, and Fun Way To Have Emotionally Stimulating Conversations With Anyone)
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Then Bill Anders spoke, not just to CapCom, to all the world listening to his words from so far away. “For all the people on earth,” he said, his emotions unmasked, “the crew of Apollo 8 has a message we would like to send you.” A brief pause, and then Anders stunned his audience as he began reading from the verses of the book of Genesis: “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth . . . ” As Anders concluded the fourth verse, Lovell read the next four. Borman concluded by beginning his reading of the ninth verse, and then sent to the world a special Christmas message: “And from the crew of Apollo 8, we close with good night, good luck, a Merry Christmas, and God bless all of you—all of you on the good earth.” Later, Borman would add a passage that would be repeated by the men who would venture to the moon, words spoken with stark emotion, sometimes with tears. As Apollo raced around the cratered world below, Borman watched the earth “rising” above the lunar horizon. “This is the most beautiful, heart-catching sight of my life.” Suddenly
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Alan Shepard (Moon Shot: The Inside Story of America's Race to the Moon)
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Whether your awareness is focused on your own emotions and perceptions or directed toward the preferences, needs, and feelings of others, being mindful (aware and attentive) will enable you to respond more appropriately.
”
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
“
Situational awareness enables you to observe your periphery with a clear vision and emotional foresight, which may inevitably keep you socially, physically, or professionally out of harm's way. Connect the dots.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
“
5 Tips for Mirroring Others
1. Body language. When they smile, you smile. When they lean back in their chair, you lean back in your chair. When they cross their legs or fold their arms, you do the same.
2. Vocabulary or specific words. Notice their language and the words they choose and use—their keywords, expressions, expletives, or phrases.
3. Communication style. People receive, process, and deliver information in different ways. Notice whether someone is results driven or relaxed, emotional or pragmatic, talkative or observant. Recognizing their style will enable you to adapt your style to theirs to build rapport and improve communication.
4. Vocal style.
a. Speech rate—If they are talking fast, you talk fast. If they are talking slowly, you talk slowly. Consider rhythm, pace, and tempo.
b. Volume—If they are speaking quietly and softly, match their volume.
c. Tone—Mirror their emotion, tone, and pitch. You can even seek to mirror their grammar and dialect, as long as it is discreet and respectful.
”
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
Accompanied with good eye contact, a smile serves as an immediate icebreaker to warm up relations and turn a stranger into a friend.
”
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
Smiling is truly one of the most generous gifts you can give to another. You never know when your smile may inspire the sad, encourage the hopeless, heal a heart, or change someone's world for the better.
”
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
Smiling reduces blood pressure by lowering the stress-inducing hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As my mother, who is now in her eighties, navigates the challenges of aging, her mantra has become, “Keep moving and keep smiling.” She has observed the rapid decline of her friends who haven’t. She is striving to stay strong, happy, and vital; her desire to smile is helping her to live a healthier, more satisfying, and longer life.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
Research has shown that smiling releases endorphins—the happy hormones that shift your physiology for improved well-being. When you smile and your eyes crinkle, your body releases chemicals that change the chemistry of your brain, lifting spirits, and reducing pain. Even when it is hard to smile and you are forcing it, positive changes take place in your physiology.
”
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
As the saying goes, "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.” Smiling is a universal symbol of happiness that transcends language and communication challenges.
”
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
“
A smile is one of the most powerful and important body language cues we share with others—and as such a heartfelt emotion, it's impossible to express its effect on others in words.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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No matter your age, a smile makes you look and feel better. People spend billions of dollars every year to get pumped, pulled, tucked, and tweaked in hopes of being more beautiful. But there is nothing like a genuine smile to transform your appearance and provide an instant facelift.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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A friend recently shared that even if he is in a rough mood, when someone smiles at him it enhances his kindness and encourages him to project a better attitude.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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I attended a symposium to hear Shilagh Mirgain, Ph.D. speak on Mindful Leadership. Throughout her program, I made sure to make eye contact and smile to support, affirm, and engage with her presentation. When audience members do this for me, it adds an extra punch of dynamic energy that enriches my presentations and improves my performance.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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One of the speaking programs I deliver is entitled, "Service with a Smile . . . How to Create a Sensational Customer Experience." Smiling is at the heart of my teaching because when employees smile while delivering service, it tells the guest/client/customer . . .
You matter.
You are important.
We are glad you are here.
We appreciate your business.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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When you see people smiling, does it give you a sense of connection with them? The law of reciprocity illustrates it is hard to not smile back when someone smiles at you.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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Whether you smile to make a great first impression for customer service, building rapport, communicating your intentions, networking, sharing your happiness, closing deals, or demonstrating you are fully present and engaged, smiling is the key to your success.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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Smiling Bloopers
• Insincere smiling can backfire! (Different from a shy smile that just beckons a friendly "hello.")
• Transitioning from a smile to a straight face, too quickly, may give others the impression that you are fake or do not like them.
• Going overboard and smiling all the time, especially when it is inappropriate, will make you appear insincere.
• If your mouth smiles, but your eyes don’t, there is a disconnect that can make you appear less authentic and trustworthy.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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Have you decided to simply smile and nod to avoid a confrontation with someone who was being a jerk? Have you ever feigned agreement with your face to get along with others, even when you disagreed with their position? We all have. Your expressions of emotion can protect you at times in awkward situations, and when used with integrity. Test the waters by responding with an expression of curiosity or bewilderment when someone is acting inappropriately.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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While smiling is a powerful facial gesture, there are other expressions on your face which reveal an extraordinary number of emotions. A body language of its own, people will read your facial messages and form opinions about you before you’ve even said a word.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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Smiling is one of your most powerful non-verbal behaviors. People do read a book by its cover and these expressions provide glimpses into what they will find inside.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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What are you projecting? How are you showing up? Are you aware of how your expressions are impacting your communication with others?
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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At any moment, you can use your face to open doors of opportunity if it demonstrates interest, enthusiasm, respect, understanding, delight, agreement, and more.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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Look at the single words below; wear these emotions on your face for just a moment. Try them on for size and note how they make you feel:
Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust.
These are the basic human emotions which communicate with clear understanding across cultures, languages, and countries. In other words, a smile naturally conveys happiness and a frown naturally conveys sadness, no matter where you may be using your passport.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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According to the “universality studies” conducted by psychologists Paul Ekman, Carroll Izard, and Friesen (1969-1972), the words
Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust.
describe the natural expressions of emotion shared by the entire human race.
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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Beyond these universal expressions of emotion, there are hundreds of variations which are often a matter of choice, whether consciously or subconsciously. Most every facial movement is connected to an emotion that conveys your state of being and your attitude
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))
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It is through these facial expressions that we write and feel our life story, create lifelong social habits—through which we are received and perceived by a multitude of others. When you want to make a positive first impression, let your face know!
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Susan C. Young (The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #3))