Colleen Hoover Reminders Of Him Quotes

There was before you and there was during you. For some reason, I never thought there would be an after you.

Now that I’ve forgiven myself, the reminders of him only make me smile.

Reading is a hobby, but for some of us, it’s an escape from the difficulties we face. To all of you who escape into books, I want to thank you for escaping into this one.

Is that . . . is that a fucking pigeon?

We’re all just a bunch of sad people doing what we have to do to make it until tomorrow.

People say you fall in love, but fall is such a sad word when you think about it. Falls are never good. You fall on the ground, you fall behind, you fall to your death. Whoever was the first person to say they fell in love must have already fallen out of it. Otherwise, they’d have called it something much better.

Grudges are heavy, but for the people hurting the most, I suppose forgiveness is even heavier.

It proves that time, distance, and devastation allow people enough opportunity to craft villains out of people they don’t even know.

A good person who had one bad night. It happens to the best of us. The worst of us. All of us. Some of us are just luckier than others, and our bad moments have fewer casualties.

Maybe it doesn’t matter whether something is a coincidence or a sign. Maybe the best way to cope with the loss of the people we love is to find them in as many places and things as we possibly can. And in the off chance that the people we lose are still somehow able to hear us, maybe we should never stop talking to them.

Maybe the best way to cope with the loss of the people we love is to find them in as many places and things as we possibly can.

I want to learn how to talk to people without wishing I could retract every word I said.

happiness isn’t some permanent thing we’re all trying to achieve in life, it’s merely a thing that shows up every now and then, sometimes in tiny doses that are just substantial enough to keep us going.

I take a drink of my coffee and close my eyes and cry because life can be so fucking cruel and hard, and I’ve wanted to quit living it so many times, but then moments like these remind me that happiness isn’t some permanent thing we’re all trying to achieve in life, it’s merely a thing that shows up every now and then, sometimes in tiny doses that are just substantial enough to keep us going.

So, you decide right now, right here. Are you gonna live in your sadness or are you gonna die in it?

have a daughter I have never held. She has a scent I have never smelled. She has a name I have never yelled. She has a mother who has already failed. Love, Kenna

Sometimes I wonder if we’re all born with equal amounts of good and evil. What if no one person is more or less malevolent than another, and that we all just release our bad at different times, in different ways?

no matter how much you love someone, you can still do despicable things to them.

Music still makes me think of Scotty, but thinking of Scotty no longer makes me sad. Now that I’ve forgiven myself, the reminders of him only make me smile.

surely no one dies when they’re at their happiest.

I don’t like that the one person I dislike most in this world reminds me of the person I love the most.

He smells like limes and bad decisions.

It’s as if I’m witnessing her become a mother. It might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

In a matter of a few weeks, I went from hating you to liking you to wanting the world for you, so forgive me if those feelings sometimes overlap.

There are people who find peace in forgiveness, and then there are others who look at forgiveness as a betrayal. To them, forgiving me would feel like betraying their own son. I can only hope they change their minds someday, but until then, this is my life. This is where it’s led me.

How many losses can one person take before they just throw in the fucking towel, Scotty? Because it sure is starting to feel like I’m all out of wins, here.

I don’t know what to do with these feelings, so I wad them up and try to keep them stuffed in my throat, or my stomach, or wherever people tuck away this shit

Crying seems to be the only thing left in life that I’m good at. Crying and making bad decisions.

I never even got to look into the eyes of the human Scotty and I made.

sometimes we do things for people we love, even though we wouldn’t choose to do those things for ourselves.

Reality is depressing as fuck.

In the end, if there's nothing good going on in your life, almost every song becomes depressing, no matter what it's about.

She’s quiet in a fierce way—a storm that sneaks up on you, and you don’t know it’s there until you feel the thunder rattle your bones.

It'll be hard to read. But I'm not asking you to read it because I'm in love with Kenna. I'm asking you to read it because your son was in love with her.

You were more than I deserved, even though you’d argue with that.

Sometimes I wonder what Scotty would think if he could see us. It makes me hope that an afterlife doesn’t exist, because if it does, Scotty is probably the only sad person in heaven.

Regret keeps you stuck on pause. So does prison. When you get out of here, make sure you hit play so you don’t forget to move forward.

Sometimes things seem good and perfect in the moment, but when you get hours of reflection afterward, the perfection can morph into something else.

Here’s the thing. It shouldn’t matter if a mother isn’t perfect. It shouldn’t matter if she’s made one big, horrible mistake in the past, or a lot of little ones. If she wants to see her child, she should be allowed to see her, even if it’s just once. I know from experience that if you’re going to grow up with an imperfect mother, it’s better to grow up knowing your imperfect mother is fighting for you than to grow up knowing she doesn’t give a shit about you.

When our fingers touch, I feel something else trapped in my chest other than my voice. Maybe it’s a few extra heartbeats. Maybe it’s an erupting volcano.

Her face is a work of art. I wish there was a picture of it hanging on a wall in a museum somewhere so I could stand in front of it and stare at it for as long as I wanted.

It was a stark realization that no matter how much you love someone, you can still do despicable things to them.

We go forward. That's it. It's that simple.

Happiness looks good on you, Kenna.

I miss you all the time, even when we’re together.

People say you fall in love, but fall is such a sad word when you think about it. Falls are never good. You fall on the ground, you fall behind, you fall to your death.

You’re forgiven, Kenna.

Everyone wanted justice, and sadly, justice and empathy couldn’t both fit inside that courtroom.

It’s also strange thinking you know someone but then later realizing maybe you didn’t know them at all.

It’s really fucking lonely when the only friends you have are a teenager and a kitten.

I learned that putting too much focus on a girl’s looks can be damaging, so instead of telling Diem how pretty I think she is, I put the focus on all the things that matter, like how smart she is and how strong she is.

We’re all just a bunch of sad people doing what we have to do to make it until tomorrow. Some of us sadder than others. Some of us more willing to forgive than others. Grudges are heavy, but for the people hurting the most, I suppose forgiveness is even heavier.

I’m going to be so good to your girls, Scotty. I promise.

Ledger is an asshole. We’ve clarified that. I mean, the guy turned a bookstore into a bar. What kind of monster would do that?

I am going to be the best person I can be for your daughter. I promise. I’m going to give her the best life, and when she asks about her mother, I’m going to tell her what a wonderful person you are. I’ll make sure she grows up knowing how much you love her.

Who am I to say that to a mother about her own child? Who the fuck am I to make that kind of judgment?

I had no idea pointing was sexy.

I couldn’t breathe because you were dead, and how was I supposed to breathe when you had no air?

It proves that time, distance, and devastation allow people enough opportunity to craft villains out of people they don’t even know. But Kenna was never a villain. She was a victim.

What I experienced in those moments was indescribable. You think you know how you’ll react in a terrifying situation, but that’s the thing. You can’t think in a terrifying situation. There’s probably a reason for how disconnected we become to our own thoughts in moments of sheer horror.

I miss expensive coffee and you.

We are keeping a mother from her child. That’s not okay. Scotty would be so mad at us.

Ledger has no idea how much his actions tonight have broken the last few pieces of me. Ivy has no idea how much her words from almost five years ago are still somehow saving me.

Are you gonna live in your sadness or are you gonna die in it?

Grudges are heavy, but for the people hurting the most, I suppose forgiveness is even heavier.

There are moments in every relationship that define when two people start to fall in love. A first glance A first smile A first kiss A first fall… (I remove the Darth Vader house shoes from my satchel and look down at them.) You were wearing these during one of those moments. One of the moments I first started to fall in love with you. The way you gave me butterflies that morning Had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else, and everything to do with you. I was falling in love with you that morning because of you. (I take the next item out of the satchel. When I pull it out and look up, she brings her hands to her mouth in shock.) This ugly little gnome With his smug little grin… He's the reason I had an excuse to invite you into my house. Into my life. You took a lot of aggression out on him over those next few months. I would watch from my window as you would kick him over every time you walked by him. Poor little guy. You were so tenacious. That feisty, aggressive, strong-willed side of you…. The side of you that refused to take crap from this concrete gnome? The side of you that refused to take crap from me? I fell in love with that side of you because of you. (I set the gnome down on the stage and grab the CD) This is your favorite CD ‘Layken’s shit.’ Although now I know you intended for shit to be possessive, rather than descriptive. The banjo started playing through the speakers of your car and I immediately recognized my favorite band. Then when I realized it was your favorite band, too? The fact that these same lyrics inspired both of us? I fell in love with that about you. That had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. I fell in love with that about you because of you. (I take a slip of paper out of the satchel and hold it up. When I look at her, I see Eddie slide her a napkin. I can’t tell from up here, but that can only mean she’s crying.) This is a receipt I kept. Only because the item I purchased that night was on the verge of ridiculous. Chocolate milk on the rocks? Who orders that? You were different, and you didn’t care. You were being you. A piece of me fell in love with you at that moment, because of you. This? (I hold up another sheet of paper.) This I didn’t really like so much. It’s the poem you wrote about me. The one you titled 'mean?' I don’t think I ever told you… but you made a zero. And then I kept it to remind myself of all the things I never want to be to you. (I pull her shirt from my bag. When I hold it into the light, I sigh into the microphone.) This is that ugly shirt you wear. It doesn’t really have anything to do with why I fell in love with you. I just saw it at your house and thought I’d steal it.

The misery I felt was my normal. I could either learn to live with it or I could let it consume me.

You didn’t really think this one through, Ledger.” “I thought about it plenty.” “Maybe, but you thought about it with the wrong fucking head.

I want Kenna to meet her daughter, but I don’t want Diem to meet her mother, even though they’re one and the same. I feel like Kenna’s monster and Diem’s protector.

What do you do, Nicole? Besides . . .” He waves a hand toward me. “Besides Ledger.

Writing might actually be what saved me from myself.

When they placed out newborn son on my chest, I looked down at him through teary eyes, and i said, "Hi, Scotty." Love, Kenna

There was before you and there was during you. For some reason, I never thought there would be an after you. but there was, and I was in it. I'll be in it forever.

Some things can be forgiven, but sometimes an action is so painful the memory of it can still crush a person ten years down the road.

Life is a cruel, cruel thing, the way it picks and chooses who to bully. We’re given these shitty circumstances and told by society that we, too, can live the American dream. But what they don’t tell us is that dreams almost never come true. It’s why they call it the American dream rather than the American reality. Our reality is that you’re dead, I’m in orientation for a shitty job making minimum wage, and our daughter is being raised by people who aren’t us. Reality is depressing as fuck.

Maybe some of us expel most of our bad behavior as toddlers, while some of us are absolute horrors during the teenage years. And then maybe there are those who expend very little malice until they’re adults, and even then, it just seeps out slowly. A little bit every day until we die.

I’ve had a lot of sucks in life A lot My parents died almost four years ago, right after I turned seven With every day that goes by I remember them less and less Like my mom…I remember that she used to sing. She was always happy, always dancing. Other than what I’ve seen of her in pictures, I don’t really remember what she looks like. Or what she smells like Or what she sounds like And my Dad I remember more things about him, but only because I thought he was the most amazing man in the world. He was smart. He knew the answer to everything. And he was strong. And he played the guitar. I used to love lying in bed at night, listening to the music coming from the living room. I miss that the most. His music. After they died, I went to live with my grandma and grandpaul. Don’t get me wrong…I love my grandparents. But I loved my home even more. It reminded me of them. Of my mom and dad. My brother had just started college the year they died. He knew how much I wanted to be home. He knew how much it meant to me, so he made it happen. I was only seven at the time, so I let him do it. I let him give up his entire life just so I could be home. Just so I wouldn’t be so sad. If I could do it all over again, I would have never let him take me. He deserved a shot, too. A shot at being young. But sometimes when you’re seven, the world isn’t in 3-D. So, I owe a lot to my brother. A lot of ‘thank you’d’ A lot of ‘I’m sorry’s’ A lot of ‘I love you’s’ I owe a lot to you, Will For making the sucks in my life a little less suckier And my sweet? My sweet is right now.

As soon as he gives his attention to someone at the other end of the bar, I take a drink of my coffee and close my eyes and cry because life can be so fucking cruel and hard, and I've wanted to quit living it so many times, but then moments like these remind me that happiness isn't some permanent thing we're all tying to achieve in life, it's merely a thing that shows up every now and then, sometimes in tiny doses that are just substantial enough to keep us going.

Is that why you’re late? Your car broke down?” You shook your head and said, “No. I had to break up with my girlfriend.

Best girlfriend ever. Until I killed him.

I have a daughter I have never held. She has a scent I have never smelled She has a name I have never yelled. She has a mother who has already failed. Love, Kenna

You were somewhere else, floating around in the dark, and I was determined to join you because what was the point? You were my whole point.

it’s better to grow up knowing your imperfect mother is fighting for you than to grow up knowing she doesn’t give a shit about you.

And it happens again. The tears. I’m so sick of the fucking tears.

But what if we were just looking for someone to blame because we were all hurting so much?

Maybe it doesn’t matter whether something is a coincidence or a sign. Maybe the best way to cope with the loss of the people we love is to find them in as many places and things as we possibly can. And in the off chance that the people we lose are still somehow able to hear us, maybe we should never stop talking to them.

I reach to the remote next to my bed and turn the massage mode on so the bed vibrates. It makes her groan, but when I try to lower myself on top of her, she kicks me to the side. “I need a minute to fully appreciate your bed,” she says, closing her eyes.

I would have fallen for you even if you didn’t love Diem.

That gives him pause. “Will it have a happy ending?” I’m still looking out the window when I say, “It’ll be a book about my life, so I don’t see how it could.

Can you please go?" I say it as nicely as possible,but asking someone to leave you alone can never not sting.

I was just working through some thoughts out loud.

There was before you, and there was during you, For some reason, I never thought there would be an after you...But there it was, and I was in it,.I'll be in it..forever.

Maybe it doesn’t matter whether something is a coincidence or a sign. Maybe the best way to cope with the loss of the people we love is to find them in as many places and things as we possibly can.

I want to have a yard that I can plant stuff in. Stuff that will flourish and not die. I want to learn how to talk to people without wishing I could retract every word I said. I want to be good at feeling things when a guy touches my waist. I want to be good at life. I want to make it look effortless, but up until this point, I’ve made every aspect of life appear entirely too difficult to navigate.

While he spends all of his time trying to remember, I spend all of my time trying to forget. I don’t want to remember how it feels to love him. I want to forget everything in this world that reminds me of him.

I’ve wanted to quit living it so many times, but then moments like these remind me that happiness isn’t some permanent thing we’re all trying to achieve in life, it’s merely a thing that shows up every now and then, sometimes in tiny doses that are just substantial enough to keep us going.

I take a drink of my coffee and close my eyes and cry because life can be so fucking cruel and hard, and I’ve wanted to quit living it so many times, but then moments like these remind me that happiness isn’t some permanent

People say you fall in love, but fall is such a sad word when you think about it. Falls are never good. You fall on the ground, you fall behind, you fall to your death. Whoever was the first person to say they fell in love must have already fallen out of it. Otherwise, they’d have called it something much better.

KENNA ROWAN’S PLAYLIST 1) “Raise Your Glass”—P!nk 2) “Dynamite”—BTS 3) “Happy”—Pharrell Williams 4) “Particle Man”—They Might Be Giants 5) “I’m Good”—The Mowgli’s 6) “Yellow Submarine”—The Beatles 7) “I’m Too Sexy”—Right Said Fred 8) “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”—Justin Timberlake 9) “Thunder”—Imagine Dragons 10) “Run the World (Girls)”—Beyoncé 11) “U Can’t Touch This”—MC Hammer 12) “Forgot About Dre”—Dr. Dre featuring Eminem 13) “Vacation”—Dirty Heads 14) “The Load Out”—Jackson Browne 15) “Stay”—Jackson Browne 16) “The King of Bedside Manor”—Barenaked Ladies 17) “Empire State of Mind”—JAY-Z 18) “Party in the U.S.A.”—Miley Cyrus 19) “Fucking Best Song Everrr”—Wallpaper. 20) “Shake It Off”—Taylor Swift 21) “Bang!”—AJR

In the same moment, I’m also reminded of how little I know about him. How little he shows me. How much he hides himself from me, so that when I finally break, it won’t be his fault. It won’t be a quick break, either. It’ll be slow and painful, filled with so many moments like these that tear me up from the inside out. Moments when he leaves. Because he always leaves.