“
It’s a great place, baby. A great neighbourhood. It’s got a huge garden,” he says, nodding to the right. “There’s a two-bed guesthouse in the garden, which is where Stuart will live.”
“Stuart’s not going to live with us anymore?” I pout.
“Well, we talked, baby, and we decided it was time he move out and get his own place. He’s all grown up, ready to face the world. We have to let him go sometime. We can’t keep him forever.” Jake gives me a grave look, clearly taking the piss.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“That it does.” I smile warmly.
He rubs his nose against mine, Eskimo-style. “I just thought it would be good to have our privacy, and Stuart gets his too. Also, I no longer have to run the risk of catching him making out with a dude.”
“You love it really.”
“What? Catching Stuart making out with a guy?”
Pressing my lips together, suppressing a smile, I nod.
“Sweetheart, nothing could kill my hard-on quicker, believe me. I like the person I’m with to be soft and warm.” He runs his fingertips down my bare arm. “I want her made to fit around me.”
“Like me?” I scratch my fingernails over the denim covering his pert behind.
“Exactly like you.”
Jake bends his head down to mine and kisses me softly.
“Will you miss him?”
“Are we still talking about Stuart?”
“I’m just worried he’ll think my being here is pushing him out.”
“Sweetheart, he works for me, and it’s not like he’s going far.”
“I know he works for you, but he’s your friend too. You guys have lived together for such a long time. You’re like Joey and Chandler. Except you’d probably have been Joey, and Chandler was never gay. Oh God, would that make me Monica or Rachel?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He laughs.
“Friends.”
“I’m gonna have to watch this show, aren’t I, just so I can figure out what the fuck you’re talking about half the time.”
“Yes, Pervy Perverson, you are. Honestly, I have no clue how you haven’t. I’ll buy the first season on Blu-ray and we can watch it together.”
“Can’t wait.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Wethers
”
”