Brought To You By.... Funny Quotes

WHY YOU DOZING BRUH?!” Eleu yelled. He lifted the pan of sauce from the fire and brought it over to a large boulder, selected a few pieces of raw meat and laid them carefully in the sauce. “Because.” Molawa responded, without opening his eyes. “I had to walk here. And my nap was interrupted…” his voice drifted off again. “By what? Your nap was interrupted by WHAT?” Eleu demanded impatiently. He was on edge: he didn’t like that the place he’d always known as safe was about to be attacked by a horde of vile creatures. Molawa opened one eye and squinted it at Eleu. “Quiet. My nap was interrupted by quiet. You know I can’t sleep if you’re not snoring in the other room, blocking out the silence.

Harry and I were now tubing side-by-side, and I could smell him—and he smelled bad. “Hey, so you guys brought your own booze, aye?” he said. “That’s clever. Wanna know a trick I use to score free beers?” For some reason, Harry always seemed to be low on cash, even though there were rumors going round that he was born into a wealthy family of British aristocrats. “Sure,” I said. With a mischievous grin, he then told me his secret plan. “You know, mate, when I’ve got just a bit of beer left in my glass, I give it a little rub with my fingers—running these two,” he said, holding up his index and middle fingers, “right through my butt crack. Then I walk up to the bartender, hold the glass under their nose, and say, ‘Apologies, but my beer seems to have an odd smell.’” “My god, Harry…” “Works like a charm—they always give me a fresh one on the house,” he said, giving me the most awkward wink in human history.