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She was funny and quick-witted, and she cared for me in a way I wasn't used to, a way I couldn't really process. She laughed at my jokes even when they weren't funny. She listened to me and didn't try to fix things. [...] Unconditional acceptance. She wasn't afraid to look at the darkness and keep smiling. Unlike everyone else, who either looked and then looked away, ashamed, or gawked. But more important, she was different. She was like no one I'd ever met before. And, to my shame, I allowed that to consume me. I was so used to being an outcast that I thought only of what made her different, too, thinking that this bonded us, that I couldn't possibly have anything to offer other than commiseration. And I fell in love with her. Far too hard and far too soon. And I just assumed that the feelings were reciprocated. Not really because of anything she did—though I convinced myself certain things mattered more than they did—but mostly because that's what I needed in the moment. I treated her like a remedy, not a person.
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