Away From Toxic People Quotes

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7 things negative people will do to you. They will... 1. Demean your value; 2. Destroy your image 3. Drive you crazily! 4. Dispose your dreams! 5. Discredit your imagination! 6. Deframe your abilities and 7. Disbelieve your opinions! Stay away from negative people!
Israelmore Ayivor
If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won.
Lalah Delia
What people don't understand about depression is how much it hurts. It's like your brain is convinced that it's dying and produces an acid that eats away at you from the inside, until all that's less is a scary hollowness. Your mind fills with dark thoughts; you become convinced that your friends secretly hate you, you're worthless, and then there's no hope. I never got so low as to consider ending it all, but I understand how that can happen to some people. Depression simply hurts too much.
Tyler Hamilton
I found peace of mind when I walked away from small fights not worth fighting. I stopped fighting for people who gossiped about me. I stopped fighting for those who didn't respect me. I quit worrying about those who wouldn't value me for being me.
Dana Arcuri (Sacred Wandering: Growing Your Faith In The Dark)
The idea is quite simple, stay a light year away from people who make you feel less about yourself.
Mohith Agadi
The Psychopath Free Pledge: 1. I will never beg or plead for someone else again. Any man or woman who brings me to that level is not worth my heart. 2. I will never tolerate criticisms about my body, age, weight, job, or any other insecurities I might have. Good partners won't put me down, they'll raise me up. 3. I will take a step back from my relationship once every month to make sure that I am being respected and loved, not flattered and love-bombed. 4. I will always ask myself the question: "Would I ever treat someone else like this?" If the answer is no, then I don't deserve to be treated like that either. 5. I will trust my gut. If I get a bad feeling, I won't try to push it away and make excuses. I will trust myself. 6. I understand that it is better to be single than in a toxic relationship. 7. I will not be spoken to in a condescending or sarcastic way. Loving partners will not patronize me. 8. I will not allow my partner to call me jealous, crazy, or any other form of projection. 9. My relationships will be mutual and equal at all times. Love is not about control and power. 10. If I ever feel unsure about any of these steps, I will seek out help from a friend, support forum, or therapist. I will not act on impulsive decisions.
Peace (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People)
Never leave your life plan to be determined by people who are not going where you are going. For the sake of your dreams and also for the sake of the people God created to benefit from your God-give talents, stay away from toxic people. Mount the shoulder giants and see farther ahead!
Israelmore Ayivor (The Great Hand Book of Quotes)
Once upon a time there was a king who had three beautiful daughters. No, no, wait. Once upon a time there were three bears who lived in a wee house in the woods. Once upon a time there were three soldiers, tramping together down the road after the war. Once upon a time there were three little pigs. Once upon a time there were three brothers. No, this is it. This is the variation I want. Once upon a time there were three Beautiful children, two boys and a girl. When each baby was born, the parents rejoiced, the heavens rejoiced, even the fairies rejoiced. The fairies came to christening parties and gave the babies magical gifts. Bounce, effort, and snark. Contemplation and enthusiasm. Ambition and strong coffee. Sugar, curiosity, and rain. And yet, there was a witch. There's always a witch. This which was the same age as the beautiful children, and as she and they grew, she was jealous of the girl, and jealous of the boys, too. They were blessed with all these fairy gifts, gifts the witch had been denied at her own christening. The eldest boy was strong and fast, capable and handsome. Though it's true, he was exceptionally short. The next boy was studious and open hearted. Though it's true, he was an outsider. And the girl was witty, Generous, and ethical. Though it's true, she felt powerless. The witch, she was none of these things, for her parents had angered the fairies. No gifts were ever bestowed upon her. She was lonely. Her only strength was her dark and ugly magic. She confuse being spartan with being charitable, and gave away her possessions without truly doing good with them. She confuse being sick with being brave, and suffered agonies while imagining she merited praise for it. She confused wit with intelligence, and made people laugh rather than lightening their hearts are making them think. Hey magic was all she had, and she used it to destroy what she most admired. She visited each young person in turn in their tenth birthday, but did not harm them out right. The protection of some kind fairy - the lilac fairy, perhaps - prevented her from doing so. What she did instead was cursed them. "When you are sixteen," proclaimed the witch in a rage of jealousy, "you shall prick your finger on a spindle - no, you shall strike a match - yes, you will strike a match and did in its flame." The parents of the beautiful children were frightened of the curse, and tried, as people will do, to avoid it. They moved themselves and the children far away, to a castle on a windswept Island. A castle where there were no matches. There, surely, they would be safe. There, Surely, the witch would never find them. But find them she did. And when they were fifteen, these beautiful children, just before their sixteenth birthdays and when they're nervous parents not yet expecting it, the jealous which toxic, hateful self into their lives in the shape of a blonde meeting. The maiden befriended the beautiful children. She kissed him and took them on the boat rides and brought them fudge and told them stories. Then she gave them a box of matches. The children were entranced, for nearly sixteen they have never seen fire. Go on, strike, said the witch, smiling. Fire is beautiful. Nothing bad will happen. Go on, she said, the flames will cleanse your souls. Go on, she said, for you are independent thinkers. Go on, she said. What is this life we lead, if you did not take action? And they listened. They took the matches from her and they struck them. The witch watched their beauty burn, Their bounce, Their intelligence, Their wit, Their open hearts, Their charm, Their dreams for the future. She watched it all disappear in smoke.
E. Lockhart (We Were Liars)
[T]he enduring problem for liberals, as for everyone else, is not whether history will judge them wise or foolish regarding the war on terrorism; it is, rather, the way that the past decade has splintered them away from other Americans. This fracture comes with a steep price: in today's toxic atmosphere, liberals are no less cynical, shortsighted, and parochial than anyone else, and they understand their fellow-Americans just as badly as they themselves are understood. When liberals look at red-state voters, they see either a mob of pious know-nothings or the insensible victims of militarism and class warfare. Yet.... [such people] defy fixed categories, which means that they have to be figured out the hard way--on their own terms.
George Packer
The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you’ll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you’re enduring. Knowing the manipulative tactics and how they work to erode your sense of self can arm you with the knowledge of what you’re facing and at the very least, develop a plan to retain control over your own life and away from toxic people. . . . Taking back our control and power . . . means seeking validating professional help for the abuse we’ve suffered, detaching from these people in our lives, learning more about the techniques of abusers, finding support networks, sharing our story to raise awareness, and finding appropriate healing modalities that can enable us to transcend and thrive after their abuse.
Shahida Arabi
The best emotional relief is not venting our problems, that only fuels the pain. It is focusing on something else, taking control of our lives and staying away from people that keep reminding us about our problems.
Rodolfo Peon
Develop a healthy relationship with food. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re full, don’t eat. Eat vegetables to be good to your body, but eat ice cream to be good to your soul. Take pictures of yourself frequently. Chronicle your life. Selfies are completely underrated. Even if the pictures are unflattering, keep them anyway. There will always be mountains and cities and buildings, but you will never look the same way as you did in that one moment in time. Your worth does not depend on how desirable someone finds you. Spend less time in front of the mirror and more time with people who make you feel beautiful. Close doors. Don’t hold onto things that no longer brings you happiness and do not help you grow as a person. It is okay to walk away from toxic relationships. You are not weak for letting go. Forgive yourself. We all have something in our pasts that we are ashamed of, but they only weigh us down if we allow them to. Make amends with the old you and work every day to become the person that you’ve always wanted to be.
Tina Tran
Keep negative people long meters away from you; their presence is a threat to your high self-esteem! Job, the man of God kept his wife afar before he could make it again!
Israelmore Ayivor (The Great Hand Book of Quotes)
Instead of trying to make toxic people happy or satisfied (which is a waste of time, since they can’t and won’t be mollified), live to help reliable people serve and worship God. Our job is to open up new avenues of worship with people who want to reverence God. Rather than living to make toxic people feel good about us, let’s live to make reliable people excited about God.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Like sandpaper, the psychopath will wear away at your self-esteem through a calculated mean-and-sweet cycle. Slowly, your standards will fall so low that you become grateful for the utterly mediocre. Like a frog in boiling water, you won’t even realize what happened until it’s far too late. Your friends and family will wonder what happened to the man or woman who used to be so strong & energetic.
Peace (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People)
Christians need to stop worrying about the unhealthy fallout of unhealthy people who are challenged by healthy decisions. We can’t control the way someone responds, and their response isn’t on us. We control our own efforts to be as loving, true, gentle, and kind as our God calls us to be as we live with healthy, God-ordained priorities. As biblical counselor Brad Hambrick has told me, grieving is a better use of emotional energy here than fretting or second-guessing, so keep the emphasis there. Learn how to grieve fractured relationships, and then learn how to let them go. Don’t let disappointment morph into self-doubt and self-flagellation. Just because you wish something wasn’t a certain way doesn’t mean it’s your fault that it’s not.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
A society that fails to value communality — our need to belong, to care for one another, and to feel caring energy flowing toward us — is a society facing away from the essence of what it means to be human. Pathology cannot but ensue. To say so is not a moral assertion but an objective assessment. "When people start to lose a sense of meaning and get disconnected, that's where disease comes from, that's where breakdown in our health — mental, physical, social health — occurs," the psychiatrist and neuroscientist Bruce Perry told me. If a gene or virus were found that caused the same impacts on the population's well-being as disconnection does, news of it would bellow from front-page headlines. Because it transpires on so many levels and so pervasively, we almost take it for granted; it is the water we swim in. We are steeped in the normalized myth that we are, each of us, mere individuals striving to attain private goals. The more we define ourselves that way, the more estranged we become from vital aspects of who we are and what we need to be healthy. Among psychologists there is a wide-ranging consensus about what our core needs consist of. These have been variously listed as: - belonging, relatedness, or connectedness; - autonomy: a sense of control in one's life; - mastery or competence; - genuine self-esteem, not dependent on achievement, attainment, acquisition, or valuation by others; - trust: a sense of having the personal and social resources needed to sustain one through life; - purpose, meaning, transcendence: knowing oneself as part of something larger than isolated, self-centered concerns, whether that something is overtly spiritual or simply universal/humanistic, or, given our evolutionary origins, Nature. "The statement that the physical and mental life of man, and nature, are interdependent means simply that nature is interdependent with itself, for man is a part of nature." So wrote a twenty-six-year-old Karl Marx in 1844. None of this tells you anything you don't already know or intuit. You can check your own experience: What's it like when each of the above needs is met? What happens in your mind and body when it's lacking, denied, or withdrawn?
Gabor Maté (The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture)
The first line of defense against toxicity in the world must therefore be launched by believers who practice self-control.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
it may feel as if they just want you to stop being you.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
when truth is rejected, spend your time on those who will receive it instead of begging closed-hearted people to reconsider.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Sometimes to follow in the footsteps of Jesus is to walk away from others or to let them walk away from us.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
As you begin to walk away from negativity and toxic people, it will inspire you to embrace positivity and your life will become more rewarding and fulfilling.
Germany Kent
chapter 12 follows up by teaching the sad but essential reality that in order to maintain our mission before God, we must learn how to be hated without letting it distract or destroy us.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
People we love have difficult feelings. That's not something to fix or run away from. But accepting that can take practice if you grew up learning that painful feelings were some kind of failure.
Allyson Dinneen (Notes From Your Therapist)
When you get to be my age, you gain a heightened awareness of time . . . how limited it is, and you tend to move toward social interactions that are meaningful and away from negative, trivial people who are downright toxic.
Sarah Jo Smith (The Other Side of Heartache)
One of Satan’s cleverest attacks is getting us to pour our time and energy into people who resent the grace we share and who will never change, keeping us from spending time with and focusing on others whom we can love and serve.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
It’s time to make the most of the one life God gives us, and that means we have to learn how to play a little defense. Resolve today that the toxic people won’t take you down or even distract you. Your mission matters too much for that.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
humility calls us to realize that what is toxic for us may not be toxic for others. If you have a toxic experience with someone that leaves you frustrated and discouraged, rethinking conversations late at night, finding your blood pressure rising, and (especially this!) seeing it keep you from being present with loved ones long after the toxic interaction is over, then for you that relationship isn’t healthy. But I’m reluctant to too hastily apply the label “toxic” in an absolutist sense.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Chapter 8 explores Jesus’ famous passage where he warns us not to throw pearls to pigs. Chapter 9 looks at the difference between labeling and name-calling; if it seems harsh to you to call someone “toxic,” you’ll find this chapter particularly helpful.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
have had to come to grips with the fact that people have lied and will lie about me; they will rip a few sentences out of context, twist a few passages, and make me sound like I believe something I don’t because they need something to be angry about and oppose.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Yes, it can be quite agonizing to walk away from what looks like a great offer. But what you must grasp is that if you proceed you could end up working in a culture that is totally out of whack with your values and that can wreck you mentally and physically. No offer is worth that price.
Binod Shankar (Let's Get Real: 42 Tips for the Stuck Manager)
Understanding the truth is the doorway to new life. And understanding the truth often requires the use of labels. Honoring someone, whether that person is a boss, parent, or spouse, doesn’t mean we have to pretend they’re something they’re not. Honoring and honesty can exist side by side.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Celebrated novelist and philosopher Aldous Huxley warns, “Those who crusade not for God in themselves, but against the devil in others, never succeed in making the world better, but leave it either as it was, or sometimes even perceptibly worse than it was before the crusade began. By thinking primarily of evil we tend, however excellent our intentions, to create occasions for evil to manifest itself . . . To be more against the devil than for God is exceedingly dangerous. Every crusader is apt to go mad. He is haunted by the wickedness which he attributes to his enemies; it becomes in some sort a part of him.”3
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
You find that you’re set off by the most obscure triggers, unable to enjoy a date or some time with an old friend. You’re on high alert the entire time, constantly looking out for manipulation & red flags. The slightest jokes will offend you. That feeling of dread in your heart never seems to go away—warning you that anyone and everyone could be out to hurt you. And then, after you spend time with others, you over-analyze the experience and come up with a list of reasons that this person shouldn’t be in your life anymore. Then you feel awful for thinking those things, guilty and ashamed that you could be so disloyal.
Peace (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People)
Darkness seems to have prevailed and has taken the forefront. This country as in the 'cooperation' of The United States of America has never been about the true higher-good of the people. Know and remember this. Cling to your faith. Roll your spiritual sleeves up and get to work. Use your energy wisely. Transmute all anger, panic and fear into light and empowerment. Don't use what fuels them; all lower-energy. Mourn as you need to. Console who you need to—and then go get into the spiritual and energetic arena. There's plenty work for us to do; within and without. Let's each focus on becoming 'The President of Our Own Life. Cultivate your mind. Pursue your purpose. Shine your light. Elevate past—and reject—any culture of low vibrational energy and ratchetness. Don't take fear, defeat or anger—on or in. The system is doing what they've been created to do. Are you? Am I? Are we—collectively? Let's get to work. No more drifting through life without your higher-self in complete control of your mind. Awaken—fully. Activate—now. Put your frustrations or concerns into your work. Don't lose sight. There is still—a higher plan. Let's ride this 4 year energetic-wave like the spiritual gangsters that we are. This will all be the past soon. Let's get to work and stay dedicated, consistent and diligent. Again, this will all be the past soon. We have preparing and work to do. Toxic energy is so not a game. Toxic energy and low vibrations are being collectively acted out on the world stage. Covertly operating through the unconscious weak spots and blind spots in the human psyche; making people oblivious to their own madness, causing and influencing them to act against–their–own–best–interests and higher-good, as if under a spell and unconsciously possessed. This means that they are actually nourishing the lower vibrational energy with their lifestyle, choices, energy and habits, which is unconsciously giving the lower-energy the very power and fuel it needs—for repeating and recreating endless drama, suffering and destruction, in more and more amplified forms on a national and world stage. So what do we do? We take away its autonomy and power over us while at the same time empowering ourselves. By recognizing how this energetic/spiritual virus or parasite of the mind—operates through our unawareness is the beginning of the cure. Knowledge is power. Applied knowledge is—freedom. Our shared future will be decided primarily by the changes that take place in the psyche of humanity, starting with each of us— vibrationally. In closing and most importantly, the greatest protection against becoming affected or possessed by this lower-energy is to be in touch with our higher vibrational-self. We have to call our energy and power back. Being in touch with our higher-self and true nature acts as a sacred amulet, shielding and protecting us from the attempted effects. We defeat evil not by fighting against it (in which case, by playing its game, we’ve already lost) but by getting in touch with the part of us that is invulnerable to its effects— our higher vibrational-self. Will this defeat and destroy us? Or will it awaken us more and more? Everything depends upon our recognizing what is being revealed to us and our stepping out of the unconscious influence of low vibrational/negative/toxic/evil/distraction energy (or whatever name you relate to it as) that is and has been seeking power over each of our lives energetically and/or spiritually, and step into our wholeness, our personal power, our higher self and vibrate higher and higher daily. Stay woke my friends—let's get to work.
Lalah Delia
She was convinced that men didn’t give a damn about other people’s feelings and that they got away with whatever they wanted. Women couldn’t be trusted either. They were too weak to stand up for themselves, and they’d sell their bodies to get men to take care of them. If you were in trouble, they wouldn’t lift a finger to help you. This worldview manifested itself in the way Marilyn approached her colleagues at work: She was suspicious of the motives of anyone who was kind to her and called them on the slightest deviation from the nursing regulations. As for herself: She was a bad seed, a fundamentally toxic person who made bad things happen to those around her.
Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma)
By chipping away at the cognitive dissonance that is patriarchal masculinity, men can see for themselves what they’ve probably always known. This construct is artificial and dangerous. It fits like an ill-tailored shirt and we can see the damage it does and the hurt it inflicts when we look into the eyes of the people we love. The suspicion is there; traditional masculinity is so fragile that it’s always on the verge of imploding. This is why the patriarchy is so ever-present and contains so many rules and consequences. Why else do men overcompensate so wildly and so desperately? It’s because they’re always just moments away from watching the paradigm crumble to pieces.
Jared Yates Sexton (The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making)
When we’d get into an argument and I would back up my side with facts, he would take those facts and spin them around in so many circles that by the end of the argument, he was able to use some of those same facts for himself and leave me feeling lost and ‘crazy.’ I’d walk away asking myself how I ever thought standing up for myself was a good thing to do in the first place.
Shahida Arabi (The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators)
When a toxic person attacks us, let’s think these words first: I honor my Father in heaven above all things. Pleasing you or getting you to agree with me isn’t my first goal in life. After explaining his motivation, Jesus puts the issue back on the toxic person, where it belongs. This isn’t about me because I’m honoring my Father; this is about you because you’re dishonoring me.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
There are certain people who drain us, demean us, and distract us from other healthy relationships. Long after they’re gone, we’re still fighting with them in our minds and trying to get them out of our hearts. They keep us awake. They steal our joy. They demolish our peace. They make us (if we’re honest with ourselves) weaker spiritually. They even invade times of worship and pervert them into seasons of fretting.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Another student taught me a word I’d never heard before: “slacktivism.” Slacktivists promote causes on social media to show their followers that they are caring, empathetic people—but they rarely follow through with real action. It’s easy to put up a message to highlight a cause, but how many of us are taking time away from sports and studying to do something that makes a difference? one student asked me rhetorically.
Jennifer Breheny Wallace (Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It)
In the unrelenting chase of what is “best,” many of us can unknowingly allow our lives to become defined by materialism. Materialism isn’t simply about loving certain logos or buying nice stuff; rather, it’s a value system that defines our goals and attention and how we spend our days. And it can leave us not just exhausted but unmoored. Pursuing materialistic goals, like high-status careers and money, causes us to invest our time and energy into things that take time away from investing in our social connections, a habit that can make us feel isolated over time. Ironically, the more isolated we feel, the more likely we are to pursue materialistic goals that we hope, even subconsciously, will draw people to us. Acquiring status markers, we believe, will make us worthy of the human connection we crave. It’s a vicious cycle: some people may become materialistic not because they love money more but because they have underdeveloped connections. Instead of attaching to people, they attach to material goods and status markers to fill the void and to try to get the emotional security they’re lacking. But this approach can backfire and undermine the very relationships we’re trying to foster. In fact, people who prioritize materialistic goals tend to have weaker, more transactional relationships: you do for me, I do for you.
Jennifer Breheny Wallace (Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It)
Let it hurt. Pick those flowers on your lungs and let it wither. Let your heart stop beating for someone who doesn’t deserves it. Let yourself be burn to your worst degree. Fall right down on your knees and scream the damn pain inside you. You’ve let the love to do its work, let it hurt. That’s part of its work. Let it bleed. Let the tears roll down your face. For once, allow yourself to be an artist. Let your mouth bleed with the unspoken feelings you’ve been wanting to say and be the author of your own story. Let the abstract in you be seen by the people who are doubting you. Do not cut your wrist, blood and scar might ruin your skin. I know, your heart was cut by the words they’ve stabbed on you, let it bleed with poetry and speak for yourself. Let it heal. For how many times people could’ve told you that time heals. Let me now tell you that it’s you, and you only, who could heal yourself. You could pick your broken pieces and build a better and stronger you. Let it heal, not for anyone. Let it heal for yourself. Even for once, let it be for yourself. And let it go. Snap out of the darkness you’re in right now. Let go of the pain that’s stopping you from moving forward. Let the toxic people go, you could’ve been better without them. Stop holding on to the anchor. Stop drowning yourself from sadness. You could always be happy. Just learn to let go of the things that keep you away from that possibility, just let go.
Angela Diloy
today, i choose to let go. i choose to let go of the people who have let go of me. i choose to let go of people who make me overthink and question myself. i choose to let go of people who do not give me joy. today, i choose to be happy. i choose to stay away from any kinds of toxicity. i choose to release myself from all the aches i’ve put myself through. i choose to give myself the love i so generously give to others. today, i choose to stop hurting myself. i choose to follow positivity and not drown in my own sadness anymore. i choose to embrace openness and not build up walls around myself. i choose to accept and embrace my flaws and grow from them. today, i choose to heal. i choose to forgive myself for all the mistakes i’ve made when i didn’t know better. i choose to guard my soul. i choose to move forward. today, i choose to be brave. i choose to say no to the things i don’t want to say yes to. i choose to walk away from places i have outgrown. i choose to value my own time. today, i choose to love myself.
alex aubrey (Learning To Love Myself)
Having the strength to pull yourself away from the toxicity and surrounding yourself with all the nourishing things you need to grow is a huge accomplishment. although not everybody has supporting family and friends in this new world of ours, but that doesn't mean you should give up, there is a whole world out there full of great people willing to help you succeed you just have to learn how to surround yourself with them and appreciate them, not use them for your own selfishness. And then my friend you have learned a life lesson <3 <3 <3
Bonnie Zackson Koury
If you follow these simple points, you will find permanent freedom from toxic bonds:   I will never beg or plead for someone else again. Any man or woman who brings me to that level is not worth my heart. I will never tolerate criticisms about my body, age, weight, job, or any other insecurities I might have. Good partners won’t put me down, they’ll raise me up. I will take a step back from my relationship once every month to make sure that I am being respected and loved, not flattered and love-bombed. I will always ask myself the question: “Would I ever treat someone else like this?” If the answer is no, then I don’t deserve to be treated like that either. I will trust my gut. If I get a bad feeling, I won’t try to push it away and make excuses. I will trust myself. I understand that it is better to be single than in a toxic relationship. I will not be spoken to in a condescending or sarcastic way. Loving partners will not patronize me. I will not allow my partner to call me jealous, crazy, or any other form of projection. My relationships will be mutual and equal at all times. Love is not about control and power. If I ever feel unsure about any of these steps, I will seek out help from a friend, support forum, or therapist. I will not act on impulsive decisions.
Peace (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People)
They are toxic, and we know they are toxic, but perhaps they’re a lifelong friend, relative, or coworker. You can’t avoid all troublesome people, can you? And aren’t we supposed to reach difficult people? Didn’t Jesus tell us to search for sinners? And so we keep engaging them, keep running into a wall, all the while thinking we’re doing the Lord’s work. But what if we’re not? What if there’s another way of looking at how we handle toxic people in our lives? What if the way and work of Christ are so compelling, so urgent, and so important that allowing ourselves to become bogged down by toxic people is an offense to God rather than a service to God?
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Certainly, blame for all this [turmoil in the Middle East] doesn't rest solely with the terrible decisions that were made at the end of World War I, but it was then that one particularly toxic seed was planted. Ever since, Arab society has tended to define itself less by what it aspires to become than by what it is opposed to: colonialism, Zionism, Western imperialism in its many forms. This culture of opposition has been manipulated—indeed, feverishly nurtured—by generations of Arab dictators intent on channeling their people's anger away from their own misrule in favor of the external threat, whether it is "the great Satan" or the "illegitimate Zionist entity" or Western music playing on the streets of Cairo.
Scott Anderson (Lawrence in Arabia: War, Deceit, Imperial Folly, and the Making of the Modern Middle East)
Idealization is the first step in the psychopath’s grooming process. Also known as love-bombing, it quickly breaks down your guard, unlocks your heart, and modifies your brain chemicals to become addicted to the pleasure centers firing away. The excessive flattery and compliments play on your deepest vanities and insecurities—qualities you likely don’t even know you possess. They will feed you constant praise and attention through your phone, Facebook Timeline, and email inbox. Within a matter of weeks, the two of you will have your own set of inside jokes, pet names, and cute songs. Looking back, you’ll see how insane the whole thing was. But when you’re in the middle of it, you can’t even imagine life without them.
Jackson MacKenzie (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People)
The rise of loneliness as a health hazard tracks with the entrenchment of values and practices that supersede any notion of "individual choices." The dynamics include reduced social programs, less available "common" spaces such as public libraries, cuts in services for the vulnerable and the elderly, stress, poverty, and the inexorable monopolization of economic life that shreds local communities. By way of illustration, let's take a familiar scenario: Walmart or some other megastore decides to open one of its facilities in a municipality. Developers are happy, politicians welcome the new investment, and consumers are pleased at finding a wide variety of goods at lower prices. But what are the social impacts? Locally owned and operated small businesses cannot compete with the marketing behemoth and must close. People lose their jobs or must find new work for lower pay. Neighborhoods are stripped of the familiar hardware store, pharmacy, butcher, baker, candlestick maker. People no longer walk to their local establishment, where they meet and greet one another and familiar merchants they have known, but drive, each isolated in their car, to a windowless, aesthetically bereft warehouse, miles away from home. They might not even leave home at all — why bother, when you can order online? No wonder international surveys show a rise in loneliness. The percentage of Americans identifying themselves as lonely has doubled from 20 to 40 percent since the 1980s, the New York Times reported in 2016. Alarmed by the health ravages, Britain has even found it necessary to appoint a minister of loneliness. Describing the systemic founts of loneliness, the U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy wrote: "Our twenty-first-century world demands that we focus on pursuits that seem to be in constant competition for our time, attention, energy, and commitment. Many of these pursuits are themselves competitions. We compete for jobs and status. We compete over possessions, money, and reputations. We strive to stay afloat and to get ahead. Meanwhile, the relationships we prize often get neglected in the chase." It is easy to miss the point that what Dr. Murthy calls "our twenty-first-century world" is no abstract entity, but the concrete manifestation of a particular socioeconomic system, a distinct worldview, and a way of life.
Gabor Maté (The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture)
Bask in God’s acceptance and delight. You can’t make everyone like you; in this toxic world, it is certain that everyone won’t like you. So put your identity in the One who loves you dearly, who says, “I chose you and will keep choosing you.” Your best defense against toxic people’s rejection is your holy Father’s acceptance. Your best shield from the world’s animosity is the Creator’s passionate pursuit. You don’t have to defend yourself. You don’t have to engage your enemies. Simply lift up your hands and be loved. Embrace your mission and walk away with Jesus from anyone who seeks to stop you from doing what God has called you to do or from being the person God has called you to be. God’s grace, God’s beauty, God’s acceptance, and God’s affirmation are the most powerful antidotes against the toxicity found in this fallen world. Let’s all choose to live out of his affirmation.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
There is a third premise of the recovery movement that I do endorse enthusiastically: The patterns of problems in childhood that recur into adulthood are significant. They can be found by exploring your past, by looking into the corners of your childhood. Coming to grips with your childhood will not yield insight into how you became the adult you are: The causal links between childhood events and what you have now become are simply too weak. Coming to grips with your childhood will not make your adult problems go away: Working through the past does not seem to be any sort of cure for troubles. Coming to grips with your childhood will not make you feel any better for long, nor will it raise your self-esteem. Coming to grips with childhood is a different and special voyage. The sages urged us to know ourselves, and Plato warned us that the unexamined life is not worth living. Knowledge acquired on this voyage is about patterns, about the tapestry that we have woven. It is not knowledge about causes. Are there consistent mistakes we have made and still make? In the flush of victory, do I forget my friends—in the Little League and when I got that last big raise? (People have always told me I'm a good loser but a bad winner.) Do I usually succeed in one domain but fail in another? (I wish I could get along with the people I really love as well as I do with my employers.) Does a surprising emotion arise again and again? (I always pick fights with people I love right before they have to go away.) Does my body often betray me? (I get a lot of colds when big projects are due.) You probably want to know why you are a bad winner, why you get colds when others expect a lot of you, and why you react to abandonment with anger. You will not find out. As important and magnetic as the “why” questions are, they are questions that psychology cannot now answer. One of the two clearest findings of one hundred years of therapy is that satisfactory answers to the great “why” questions are not easily found; maybe in fifty years things will be different; maybe never. When purveyors of the evils of “toxic shame” tell you that they know it comes from parental abuse, don't believe them. No one knows any such thing. Be skeptical even of your own “Aha!” experiences: When you unearth the fury you felt that first kindergarten day, do not assume that you have found the source of your lifelong terror of abandonment. The causal links may be illusions, and humility is in order here. The other clearest finding of the whole therapeutic endeavor, however, is that change is within our grasp, almost routine, throughout adult life. So even if why we are what we are is a mystery, how to change ourselves is not. Mind the pattern. A pattern of mistakes is a call to change your life. The rest of the tapestry is not determined by what has been woven before. The weaver herself, blessed with knowledge and with freedom, can change—if not the material she must work with—the design of what comes next.
Martin E.P. Seligman (What You Can Change and What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement)
Good good,' he says. 'I make sure my people take good care of you. They will make Astrophage maybe for you to go home!' 'Yeah...' I say. 'About that... I'm not going home. The beetles will save Earth. But I won't ever see it again.' His joyous bouncing stops. 'Why, question?' 'I don't have enough food. After I take you back to Erid, I will die.' 'You... you can no die.' His voice gets low. 'I no let you die. We send you home. Erid will be grateful. You save everyone. We do everything to save you.' 'There's nothing you can do,' I say. 'There's no food. I have enough to last until we get to Erid and then a few months more. Even if your government gave me the Astrophage to get home, I wouldn't survive the trip.' 'Eat Erid food. We evolve from same life. We use same proteins. Same chemicals. Same sugars. Must work!' 'No, I can't eat your food, remember?' 'You say is bad for you. We find out.' I hold up my hands. 'It's not just bad for me. It will kill me. Your whole ecology uses heavy metals all over the place. Most of them are toxic to me. I'd die immediately.' He trembles. 'No. You can no die. You are friend.' I float closer to the divider wall and talk softly. 'It's okay. I made my decision. This is the only way to save both of our worlds.' He backs away. 'Then you go home. Go home now. I wait here. Erid maybe send another ship someday.' 'That's ridiculous. Do you really want to risk the survival of your entire species on that guess?' He's silent for a few moments and finally answers. 'No.
Andy Weir (Project Hail Mary)
For most people moving is a tiring experience. When on the verge of moving out to a new home or into a new office, it's only natural to focus on your new place and forget about the one you’re leaving. Actually, the last thing you would even think about is embarking on a heavy duty move out clean. However, you can be certain that agents, landlords and all the potential renters or buyers of your old home will most definitely notice if it's being cleaned, therefore getting the place cleaned up is something that you need to consider. The process of cleaning will basically depend to things; how dirty your property and the size of the home. If you leave the property in good condition, you'll have a higher the chance of getting back your bond deposit or if you're selling, attracting a potential buyer. Below are the steps you need to consider before moving out. You should start with cleaning. Remove all screws and nails from the walls and the ceilings, fill up all holes and dust all ledges. Large holes should be patched and the entire wall checked the major marks. Remove all the cobwebs from the walls and ceilings, taking care to wash or vacuum the vents. They can get quite dusty. Clean all doors and door knobs, wipe down all the switches, electrical outlets, vacuum/wipe down the drapes, clean the blinds and remove all the light covers from light fixtures and clean them thoroughly as they may contain dead insects. Also, replace all the burnt out light bulbs and empty all cupboards when you clean them. Clean all windows, window sills and tracks. Vacuum all carpets or get them professionally cleaned which quite often is stipulated in the rental agreement. After you've finished the general cleaning, you can now embark on the more specific areas. When cleaning the bathroom, wash off the soap scum and remove mould (if any) from the bathroom tiles. This can be done by pre-spraying the tile grout with bleach and letting it sit for at least half an hour. Clean all the inside drawers and vanity units thoroughly. Clean the toilet/sink, vanity unit and replace anything that you've damaged. Wash all shower curtains and shower doors plus all other enclosures. Polish the mirrors and make sure the exhaust fan is free of dust. You can generally vacuum these quite easily. Finally, clean the bathroom floors by vacuuming and mopping. In the kitchen, clean all the cabinets and liners and wash the cupboards inside out. Clean the counter-tops and shine the facet and sink. If the fridge is staying give it a good clean. You can do this by removing all shelves and wash them individually. Thoroughly degrease the oven inside and out. It's best to use and oven cleaner from your supermarket, just take care to use gloves and a mask as they can be quite toxic. Clean the kitchen floor well by giving it a good vacuum and mop . Sometimes the kitchen floor may need to be degreased. Dust the bedrooms and living room, vacuum throughout then mop. If you have a garage give it a good sweep. Also cut the grass, pull out all weeds and remove all items that may be lying or hanging around. Remember to put your garbage bins out for collection even if collection is a week away as in our experience the bins will be full to the brim from all the rubbish during the moving process. If this all looks too hard then you can always hire a bond cleaner to tackle the job for you or if you're on a tight budget you can download an end of lease cleaning checklist or have one sent to you from your local agent. Just make sure you give yourself at least a day or to take on the job. Its best not to rush through the job, just make sure everything is cleaned thoroughly, so it passes the inspection in order for you to get your bond back in full.
Tanya Smith
What has she done, what has she done? She’s cut herself off from people she truly needs. Yet despite the fear of what she’s done, she knows it’s the right thing. The atmosphere in the apartment was toxic. She had to get away from them, and wasn’t it him who was slowly cutting himself off from her?
Cecelia Ahern (Lyrebird)
Like everything else, the psychopath also mirrored your deepest sexual desires. That’s why it felt so incredibly passionate and flawless when you were together—and that’s why it feels like rape during the identity erosion. Because the psychopath does not, in fact, share your most intimate fantasies. Instead, they’ve been observing and tailoring their behavior to match yours. It’s shocking when you realize this, because you come to understand that they never felt the emotional and spiritual pleasure that you felt. While you were at your most vulnerable, they were simply watching and learning. You find yourself in a desperate situation, needing their sexual approval and flattery to feel attractive. They use this to control you. They pull away in order to make you seem desperate, needy, and slutty. In the idealization phase, they couldn’t get enough of you. But once they have you hooked, they begin to play mind games. They withhold sex, redefining it as a privilege that they hold the key to.
Jackson MacKenzie (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People)
Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the kingdom of God (Luke 6:20). I'm learning what it means to descend, which is so revolutionary it often leaves me gasping. I have been trying to ascend my entire life. Up, up, next level, a notch higher, the top is better, top of the food chain, all for God's work and glory, of course. The pursuit of ascension is crippling and has stunted my faith more than any other evil I've battled. It has saddled me with so much to defend, and it doesn't deliver. I need more and more of what doesn't work. I'm insatiable, and ironically, the more I accumulate, the less I enjoy any of it. Instead of satisfaction, it produces toxic fear in me; I'm always one slip away from losing it all. Consequently, my love for others is tainted because they unwittingly become articles for consumption. How is this person making me feel better? How is she making me stronger? How is he contributing to my agenda? What can this group do for me? I am an addict, addicted to the ascent and thus positioning myself above people who can propel my upward momentum and below those who are also longing for a higher rank and might pull me up with them. It feels desperate and frantic, and I'm so done being enslaved to the elusive top rung. When Jesus told us to 'take the lowest place' (Luke 14:10), it was more than just a strategy for social justice. It was even more than wooing us to the bottom for communion, since that is where He is always found. The path of descent becomes our own liberation. We are freed from the exhausting stance of defense. We are no longer compelled to be right and are thus relieved from the burden of maintaining some reputation. We are released from the idols of greed, control, and status. The pressure to protect the house of cards is alleviated when we take the lowest place. The ascent is so ingrained in my thought patterns that it has been physically painful to experience reformation at the bottom. The compulsion to defend myself against misrepresentation nearly put me in the grave recently. I was tormented with chaotic inner dialogues, and there were days I was so plagued with protecting my rung that I couldn't get out of bed. With every step lower, the stripping-away process was more excruciating. I had no idea how tightly I clung to reputation and approval or how selfishly I behaved to maintain it. Getting to the top requires someone else to be on the bottom; being right means someone else must be wrong. It is the nature of the beast.
Jen Hatmaker (Interrupted: An Adventure in Relearning the Essentials of Faith)
While I may not appreciate someone’s actions in the moment, it is useful to try to understand and relate to the possible underlying reasons for them. When I shift my focus away from my negative thoughts to think about the reasonable intent and unmet needs of the people whose behavior is the source of my trigger, I am more likely to feel greater empathy and enough distance to de-escalate my emotions to a level from which I can choose a productive response.
Kathy Obear (Turn the Tide: Rise Above Toxic, Difficult Situations in the Workplace)
It's not easy to recognize how to handle a mentally unstable ex-partner. Many people will tell you to walk away, but sometimes it's not that easy. There may be legal obligations or shared children and family and community ties that make it challenging to leave them. If you've experienced abuse, there is the added complication that the abusive partner will often rely on you for emotional support and material support, even after they have mistreated you.
Lara Carter (Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex: Protect Your Child from a Toxic Parent & Start Healing from Emotional Abuse in Your Relationship | Tips & Tricks for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist)
The challenge is that there’s no one exhaustive definition of a toxic person. Certain traits are common: They are often ruled by selfishness and spite. They are usually draining instead of encouraging, and they use people instead of loving them. They are often seemingly addicted to self-righteous, rash judgments and thus frequently fight with people instead of enjoying and appreciating people. They may be jealous of healthy people’s peace, family, and friendships and spend much of their time and effort trying to bring people down to their level of misery rather than blessing others with joy and encouragement.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” – Daniell Koepke Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” – Sam Vaknin The happy family is a myth for many - Carolyn spring “You’re just like a penny, two-faced and worthless.” - unknown Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters. - John Mark Green Some people play victims of crimes they committed - unknown Just because someone gives you life doesn’t mean they will love you the right way - unknown You can’t change someone that doesn’t see a problem with there actions - unknown Let’s get out of the habit of telling people, “that’s still your mom, your dad, or your sister.” Toxic is toxic. You are allowed to walk away from people that constantly hurt you - unknown Ask yourself, “will you do this to your family?” If not, why let them do this to yours? - unknown Living well is the best revenge - unknown Sharni, Nevera and Isaiah you are the best gift I’ve ever received no work is more important then my love for yourselves I made a wish on a star and got youse to god I am grateful.
Rhys dean
Another student taught me a word I’d never heard before: “slacktivism.” Slacktivists promote causes on social media to show their followers that they are caring, empathetic people—but they rarely follow through with real action. It’s easy to put up a message to highlight a cause, but how many of us are taking time away from sports and studying to do something that makes a difference?
Jennifer Breheny Wallace (Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It)
Sharing God’s love and truth is a spiritual exercise as much as it is an intellectual one. Remember that Jesus said, “Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed” (John 3:19–20).
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
When dealing with the type of toxic person Jesus likened to a pig, you’ll want to play a particular kind of self-defense—guarding your own heart against bitterness and resentment. For me, my best defense in that regard has been twofold: praying for the toxic person and refusing to engage them further. I’m talking to God more and to the toxic person less.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
I don’t regret my past. I just regret the time I wasted with the wrong people. Life’s too short for bad company and useless drama. If only there was a refund policy on wasted time! But hey, even those detours taught valuable lessons, like how to spot a toxic person from a mile away. How to stay away from pessimists. So, here’s to ditching the energy vampires and spending time with people who actually matter and uplift. Let’s surround ourselves with good vibes only!
Life is Positive
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.” MATTHEW 10:14
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Seeking first the kingdom of God and finding reliable people are such urgent tasks that we may have to employ spiritual triage. Knowing that the time is short and our time and energy are limited, we seek to focus on the most fertile fields.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
•​Because toxic people have a thirst to attack, engaging them energizes them, so it’s best to step away and let them focus on someone else.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
When this is the condition of a person’s heart, only a direct act of God can melt such a soul—not you.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
They have a toxic heart that wants to attack and hurt, not a mind that wants to learn. If you engage them, they won’t change, but you’ll be attacked. Jesus wants you to play defense in such situations.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
a spiritual exercise as much as it is an intellectual one. Remember that Jesus said, “Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed” (John 3:19–20).
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
I want to start to dream about what transformative justice looks like when someone who causes harm is disabled. I want there to be something - anything - that isn't ableist written about the intersections of neurodivergence or psych disabilities and being someone who's caused harm. Right now, if someone talks about how our psych disabilities or neurodiversity are intertwined in some way with how we've caused harm, either people fall into apologism: "they have psych disabilities, you can't blame them," or we're seen as monsters: "they have THAT disorder, they're toxic, stay away from them." Mostly, it's the latter, and the ableist demonization of people with psych disabilities as killers and monsters leaves no room for us to really talk about what happens when we are Mad and might cause harm. I want something else. I want anti-ableist forms of accountability that don't throw disabled people who cause harm under the bus, into every stereotype about "crazed autistic"/"psychotic"/"multiple personalities abusive killers." Instead, I want us to create accountability recommendations that are accessible to our disabilities and neurodivergence.
Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha (Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement)
Carlton Church Warning - Nuclear Fraud Scheme North Korea has been producing different nuclear weapons since last year. They have sent warning on the neighboring countries about their plan for a nuclear test. Not just South Korea, but other countries like China, U.S., and Japan have stated their complaints. Even the United Nations has been alarmed by North Korea’s move. During the last period of World War, a bomb has been used to attack Japan. Happened on 6th of August 1945, Enola Gay dropped an atomic bomb just 10 kilometers away from Tokyo. This is why people and organizations like Carlton Church who’s against the use of nuclear power for production of armory in war. Many protested that it is a threat to mankind and environment. Groups who are in favor of the nuclear use explained its advantage. They say it can be helpful in generating electricity that can be used for residential and commercial purposes. They also expound how it is better to use than coal mining as it is “less harmful to the environment.” Nuclear Use: Good or Bad? Groups who are against the use of nuclear reactor and weapons try to persuade people about its catastrophic result to the environment and humankind. If such facility will be used to create weapons, there is a possibility for another world war. But the pro-nuclear groups discuss the good effects that can be gained from it. They give details on how greenhouse gas effect of coal-burning can emit huge amounts of greenhouse gases and other pollutants such as sulfur dioxide nitrogen oxide, and toxic compounds of mercury to the atmosphere every year. Burning coal can produce a kilowatt-hour of electricity but it also amounts to over two pounds of carbon dioxide emissions. They also added that the amount of carbon dioxide it produces contributes to climate change. Sulfur dioxide may cause the formation of acid rain and nitrogen oxide, if combined with VOCs, will form smog. Nuclear power plants do not emit harmful pollutants or other toxic gases. Generating energy from nuclear involves intricate process, but as a result, it produces heat. These plants have cooling towers that release water vapor. If the facility has been properly managed it may not contribute disturbance in the atmosphere. It may sound better to use compared to coal. But studies have shown that the vapor that came from nuclear plants have an effect to some coastal plants. The heated water that was released goes back to lakes and seas, and then the heat will eventually diffuse into surface warming. As a result of the increased water temperature on the ocean bodies, it changes the way carbon dioxide is transferred within the air. In effect, major shifts in weather patterns such as hurricanes may occur. It does not stop there. The nuclear power plant produces radioactive waste, which amounts to 20 metric tons yearly. Exposure to high-level radiation is extremely harmful and fatal to human and animals. The waste material must be stored carefully in remote locations for many years. Carlton Church and other anti-nuclear groups persuade the public to initiate banning of the manufacturing of nuclear products and give warnings about its health hazards and environmental effects.
Glory
Stay focused on your goals and don't let toxic people take anything away from your vision.
Troy Gathers (Take Me With You)
To transition from one phase of your life to another takes hard work. Most people give up when they hit their first speed bump. Most of the time those speed bumps are people who have been keeping them from transitioning all along or people from their past. If someone you care about doesn't support you in improving yourself, that is a great indicator it's time move on. Learning to walk away from a toxic relationship takes courage, determination, and a realization that there is a better life waiting for you! Maybe it's time to step outside of your comfort zone, let go, have faith, and surround yourself with people who will support you in your transition to a better life! You deserve to be treated with respect, you are worth it! I am posting this because I see this happen frequently and I want the best for everyone who is struggling!
Arik Hoover
What are you doing?” “She was limping. It hurt to look at her. An abscess, I think. She must have stepped on something sharp.” “Arin, you’re not a damn farrier. Someone else can do this.” “Tssah,” Arin hissed in sympathy when he found the abscess. The horse tried again to tug away, but he punctured the sealed wound, which instantly dribbled black pus. He worked on opening the abscess, then pressed the rest of the pus out. “Bring that bucket closer, will you?” “Oh, certainly. I live to please.” Arin lowered the hoof into the bucket’s hot water. The horse, already in pain, stamped, splashing the water as she reared her head, but Arin grabbed the halter and brought her head down, soothing her as he watched the foot to make sure it stayed in the bucket. “Arin, why are you so transparent? Whenever you worry, you start fixing things. Draining nasty gunk from a hoof is the least of it. I don’t know what’s worse, watching you do that or knowing how hard it will always be for you to keep yourself to yourself.” Arin stroked the horse’s neck. She stamped again, but began to calm. “We won,” Roshar said, “and Kestrel is fine. We’ve discussed this. That poison is highly toxic.” “But she’s not back.” “She will be. You need to seize your political moment. If you don’t, someone else will.” Arin squinted at him. “You call me ‘transparent’ as if that’s a bad thing, but I don’t need to make a speech for my people to see what I am.” Roshar shut his mouth. He looked ready to say something else, then didn’t, because Kestrel and Risha rode into camp.
Marie Rutkoski (The Winner's Kiss (The Winner's Trilogy, #3))
The Psychopath Free Pledge   When members first join our forum, we ask them to take a pledge. It’s a promise that honors self-respect and encourages healthy relationships. If you follow these simple points, you will find permanent freedom from toxic bonds:   I will never beg or plead for someone else again. Any man or woman who brings me to that level is not worth my heart. I will never tolerate criticisms about my body, age, weight, job, or any other insecurities I might have. Good partners won’t put me down, they’ll raise me up. I will take a step back from my relationship once every month to make sure that I am being respected and loved, not flattered and love-bombed. I will always ask myself the question: “Would I ever treat someone else like this?” If the answer is no, then I don’t deserve to be treated like that either. I will trust my gut. If I get a bad feeling, I won’t try to push it away and make excuses. I will trust myself. I understand that it is better to be single than in a toxic relationship. I will not be spoken to in a condescending or sarcastic way. Loving partners will not patronize me. I will not allow my partner to call me jealous, crazy, or any other form of projection. My relationships will be mutual and equal at all times. Love is not about control and power. If I ever feel unsure about any of these steps, I will seek out help from a friend, support forum, or therapist. I will not act on impulsive decisions.
Peace (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People)
You have an inbuilt goodness. Why should you allow some poisonous elements to destroy that goodness? Protect your goodness by any means. Stay away from the toxic people.
Anjan Dey
Jesus challenges expressions of meanness because he loves the people we’re being mean to. If they know him, he wants them to embrace the abundant life. If they don’t know him, he wants us to display the kindness and compassion of Christ that we’ve received in order to invite them into his family.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
If the current reckoning underway in the art world about structural racism, inequitable opportunity, toxic philanthropy, art washing, community relations, restitution, and divestment is as thorough and transformative as it should be, a lot of people are going to feel – and be – disturbed and displaced. This seems right. My hope is that we can undertake such a reckoning while also remembering that we go to art – or, at least, many of us went to at some point – precisely to get away from the dead-end binaries of like/don't like, denunciation/coronation – what Sedgwick called the “good dog/bad dog rhetoric of puppy obedience school all too easily available.
Maggie Nelson (On Freedom: Four Songs of Care and Constraint)
Toxic people must always live on the precipice of fear and exposure. They are terrified by the light and the truth, yet the light and the truth will win out in the end.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
When we insult others, when we call them idiots and fools, that’s the kind of thing Jesus says can get us thrown into hell.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Leaving toxic behavior behind transformed the way Doug relates to his wife, his children, his coworkers, and even himself.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
What am I feeling? What is it rooted in? Is it from this circumstance or something from the past?
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Christians are most likely to act in a toxic way when they value being right over being like Christ. Scripture isn’t a weapon to be used to hurt nonbelievers. Methods matter.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Christine finally got the courage to let go one morning when she read Psalm 116:16: Truly I am your servant, LORD; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
As God’s followers, we are not to mock, taunt, ridicule, or bully any “sinner.” Being mean to someone we consider a sinner is itself a toxic sin. We’re adding to the problem, not offering ourselves as instruments of the solution. Instead of being toxic, we are called to show compassion.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
I am writing to all who have been called by God the Father, who loves you and keeps you safe in the care of Jesus Christ” (Jude 1 NLT, emphasis added).
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Transformation for Doug occurred when he met Jesus on his personal “Damascus road.” Sermons on right living should come after Jesus, not before.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
What should scare all of us believers a little bit is that when we listen to Jesus, he seemed to show the most compassion toward sexual sinners and more judgment toward mean people: “But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire” (Matthew 5:22 NRSV).
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
The apostle Paul tells a new crop of Christians that faith in Jesus means getting rid of anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language and putting on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Healthy people who have a secure sense of self are either willing to call a toxic person out—call them out on their arrogance, their grandiosity, their entitlement, their lack of empathy, or their general bad behavior—or they will simply walk away from that person. Secure people do not feel the need to prove that they are “enough” to someone else.
Ramani S. Durvasula ("Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility)
Skip the Grains. Gluten—which has been shown to cause problems in the gut for some people—is also suspected to have toxic effects on the brain as well. Our diet recommendation is to stay away from gluten and grains, and to emphasize fish, vegetables, fruits, and oils. In our recipes, you’ll see many options for gluten- and grain-free meals. Gluten is the most inflammatory of a group of proteins contained in all grains
Gerald M. Lemole (Lymph & Longevity: The Untapped Secret to Health)
One of the cleverest attacks against God’s church today centers around our guilt in dealing with toxic people. Satan knows he can’t stop God’s people from loving and caring, because God’s Spirit makes us love and care. What he can do, however, is urge us to pour most of our God-breathed love, intention, and goodwill on people who actually resent it and who will never respond to grace. Satan can’t stop God’s clear water from flowing through us, but he can tempt us to pour it straight into the gutter, quenching the thirst of no one and creating no fruit.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
If someone is getting in the way of you becoming the person God created you to be or frustrating the work God has called you to do, for you that person is toxic. It’s not selfish for you to want to be who God created you to be, and it’s not selfish for you to do what God created you to do,
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Chapter 13 offers a biblical view on how evil infects every good thing that God has created on this planet. That sets us up for chapter 14, where Jesus tells us that our allegiance to his spiritual family takes precedence over our allegiance to our blood family of origin.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
chapter 21 teaches us to be less toxic toward ourselves.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
I had envisioned that this would be a short book, about half of what it has become. Once I opened up the Scriptures, however, it was like the glaciers melted and the dams overflowed, and I had to ride the rivers way downstream. I hope you enjoy and learn from the ride.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
Because toxic individuals exist, we need to learn how to play defense. Focusing only on offense is naive and undercuts the impact we can have with others. •​Seeing Jesus walk away from others or let others walk away from him presents a model to consider in our own lives. •​Toxic individuals drain us of joy, energy, and peace. •​One of Satan’s cleverest attacks is getting us to pour our time and energy into people who resent the grace we share and who will never change, keeping us from spending time with and focusing on others whom we can love and serve. •​There may not be a lot of toxic people numerically, but they tend to have an inordinately negative effect on families, churches, relationships, and ministries, so we need to be on the lookout.
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
It’s essential to move toward that which opens the heart, and to move away from that which closes it; avoid toxic people, places and things whenever possible.
Maximus Freeman