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I have done everything in my power to be . . . relevant. To make the world about me wise, to make wisdom greater than war. I have failed. Men fight and die, and for what? Glory and power and spite and pride - nothing more. Gods and kings spin their stories, and in their stories it is good to die for one man's pride and to give thanks for the chains that are put about the neck of every child born less than a king. And I thought . . . if I could now wield power through wisdom, or mercy, or justice, then perhaps I could take power in this other way. Perhaps if I became like these men of blood and cruelty, that would be enough. So I banished from my heart all thoughts of tenderness, compassion, longing or kindess. I turned away friends for fear of being wounded, laid aside love as a danger, punished women for things men do, denied my loneliness and refued my fears.
Poison. All of it. Poison. And still not enough. I am too cruel for women to love me, too tender for men to deign to grace me with respect. Where does this leave me? Why - I have fallen so far that to have men honour my name, my divinity, I must make myself an adjunct to his story. [...] My power should have broken the world, should have cracked the palaces and remade them anew. Not as goddess-who-appears-like-a-man, but as a woman, as strength-of-woman, as arm-of-woman, as wisdom-of-woman. But I could not make it so. Instead I must contrive. I must bend myself into some other shape, make some other story in which poets will praise him. A mere man. A petty mortal. They will call him wise. They will sing his song down the ages. The story of Odysseus is the last, greatest power Athena has left. They will speak his name, and after, mine. That is all the power I have.
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