Asgard Funny Quotes

Otis," I said. "Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis." "I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay." Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.

That awkward moment when you jump out a window because your friend jumped out a window, then you remember that your other friend can fly.

It's a good thing Jack was no longer in my hands, because I would've pulled a full-on Kylo Ren temper tantrum.

Well, good news, " Blitzen said. "I found the bag. Bad news...I found the bag.

Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go." "You just got here." "Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress." "You're making that up." "I'm not." "So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?

Is there anything more embarrassing than sailing into battle with half-finished figureheads? -Loki

Alex promised to keep watch. At least I think that’s what she said. She could have announced I’ll invite Loki into camp and kill you all in your sleep! HAHAHAHA! and I still would’ve passed out.

Jack was pleased to help. “Combat time? Cool!” He floated in a circle around me. “Who are we fighting?” “Sam,” I said. Jack froze. “But I like Sam.” “We’re just practicing,” I said. “Try to kill her without really killing her.” “Oh, phew! Okay. I can do that.

Nothing beats camping out in a dreary Jotunheim forest while your friend stitches runes on a giant bowling bag!

Thor frowned as if he’d just had a thought, which must have been a painful experience.

I was hoping Tiny might scoop us up and give us a ride. That seemed like the proper thing to do for travelers who'd just had a hit-and-run with your shoestring.

Jack followed me around the deck, alternating between Abba hits (Vikings are huge Abba fans) and telling me stories about the old days when he and Frey would roam the Nine Worlds, spreading sunshine and happiness and occasionally killing people.

Elves spend most of their time staring at screens, watching funny pixie videos when they are supposed to be working. I wasn’t sure I’d interpreted his signs correctly – pixie videos? – but Alfheim sounded depressingly like Midgard.

There must be something in here that can drill through eight miles of solid rock.” He considered a hand drill, a tape measure, a corkscrew, and the iron staff we’d almost died retrieving from Geirrod’s fortress. He threw them all to the floor. “Nothing!” he said in disgust. “Useless junk!” Perhaps you could use your head, Hearthstone signed. That is very hard. “Oh, don’t try to console me, Mr. Elf,” said Thor.

I recalled my encounter with the sea goddess Ran, who had described her husband as a hipster who liked microbrewing. At the time, the description had been too weird to comprehend. Afterward, it had seemed funny. Now it seemed a little too real, because I was pretty sure the hipster god in question was standing right in front of me.

Funny how that works: as soon as you’re told you can’t do something, you have the overwhelming desire to do it.

My Funeral Director Dresses Me Funny

I grabbed the nearest bit of rigging and pulled as hard as I could, hoping I had the right line, or hoping I at least looked helpful while doing the wrong thing.

the giants let loose a deafening cheer. “Kill the humans!” “Shut it!” Thrynga yelled. “We have humans with us!” The giants murmured. Someone in the back said, “Present company excepted.

Me and old Jeffrey... we spent about fifty years killing each other over and over again, every day. I was so filled with hate. That man was everything I despised and vice versa. I was afraid we'd end up like Hunding and Helgi-- immortal enemies, still sniping at each other thousands of years later." "But you didn't?" "Funny thing. Eventually... I just got tired of it. I stopped looking for Jeffrey Toussaint on the battlefield. I figured something out. You can't hold on to hate forever. It won't do a thing to the person you hate, but it'll poison you, sure enough.

Okay, It’s a Little Bit Funny

Junior huffed. "The point is, this rope is even better! I call it Andskoti, the Adversary. It is woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds Wi-Fi with no lag, a politician's sincerity, a printer that prints, healthy deep-fried food, and an interesting grammar lecture!" "Okay, yeah," I admitted. "Those things don't exist.