“
It’s not difficult to see how this conception of romantic love, born out of an individual’s desire for expression and fulfillment, affects our conceptions of “love” in every sphere of life today. Whether the conversation turns to church services, friendships, or dating, I know that you love me when you let me “be myself” or “express myself” or “be the best person I can be.” I love you by allowing you to do the same. So Americans tend to describe churches as “loving” when those churches make us feel relaxed and comfortable, not judged. We can be ourselves there. Nonjudgmentalism is important in our friendships too: “I know she’s my friend, because she doesn’t judge me. I can be real with her.
”
”
Jonathan Leeman (The Church and the Surprising Offense of God's Love: Reintroducing the Doctrines of Church Membership and Discipline (9Marks))