“
livid, adj.
Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
libidinous, adj.
I never understood why anyone would have sex on the floor. Until I was with you and I realized: you don't ever realize you're on the floor.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
breathtaking, adj.
Those mornings when we kiss and surrender for an hour before we say a single word.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Ahenny (adj.) - The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves.
”
”
Douglas Adams (The Deeper Meaning of Liff)
“
yearning, n. and adj.
At the core of this desire is the belief that everything can be perfect.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
ubiquitous, adj.
When it’s going well, the fact of it is everywhere. It’s there in the song that shuffles into your ears. It’s there in the book you’re reading. It’s there on the shelves of the store as you reach for a towel and forget about the towel. It’s there as you open the door. As you stare off into the subway, it’s what you’re looking at. You wear it on the inside of your hat. It lines your pockets. It’s the temperature.
The hitch, of course, it that when it’s going badly, it’s in all the same places.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
only, adj.
Thats the dilemma isn't it? when you're single, there's the sadness and joy of only me. And when you're paired, there's the sadness and joy of only you.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
ethereal, adj.
You leaned your head into mine, and I leaned my head into yours. Dancing cheek to cheek. Revolving slowly, eyes closed, heartbeat measure, nature’s hum. It lasted the length of an old song, and then we stopped, kissed, and my heart stayed there, just like that.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
candid, adj.
"Most times, when I'm having sex, I'd rather be reading."
This was, I admit, a strange thing to say on a second date.
I guess I was just giving you a warning.
"Most times when I'm reading," you said, "I'd rather be having sex".
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.
Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
contiguous, adj.
I felt silly for even mentioning it, but once I did, I knew I had to explain.
"When I was a kid, "I had this puzzle with all fifty states on it--you know, the kind where you have to fit them all together. And one day I got it in my head that California and Nevada were in love. I told my mom, and she had no idea what I was talking about. I ran and got those two pieces and showed it to her--California and Nevada, completely in love. So a lot of the time when we're like this"--my ankles against the backs of your ankles, my knees fitting into the backs of your knees, my thighs on the backs of your legs, my stomach against your back, my chin folding into your neck--"I can't help but think about California and Nevada, and how we're a lot like them. If someone were drawing us from above as a map. that's what we'd look like; that's how we are."
For a moment, you were quiet. And then you nestled in and whispered.
"Contiguous."
And I knew you understood.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
aloof, adj.
It has always been my habit, ever since junior high school, to ask that question:
“What are you thinking?”
It is always an act of desperation, and I keep on asking, even though I know it will never work the way I want it to.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
elliptical, adj.
The kiss I like the most is one of the slow ones. It’s as much breath as touch, as much no as yes. You lean in from the side, and I have to turn a little to make it happen.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
ineffable, adj.
these words will ultimately end up being the barest of reflections, devoid of the sensations words cannot convoy. Trying to write about love is ultimately like trying to have a dictionary represent life. No matter how many words there are, there will never be enough.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
dumbfounded, adj.
And still, for all the jealousy, all the doubt, sometimes I will be struck with a kind of awe that we're together. That someone like me could find someone like you - it renders me wordless. Because surely words would conspire against such luck, would protest the unlikelihood of such a turn of events.
I didn't tell any of my friends about our first date. I waited until after our second, because I wanted to make sure it was real. I wouldn't believe it had happened until it had happened again. Then, later on, I would be overwhelmed by the evidence, by all the lines connecting you to me, and us to love.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
jaded, adj.
In the end, we both want the right thing to happen, the right person to win, the right idea to prevail. We have no faith that it will, but still we want it. Neither of us has given up on anything.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
obstinate, adj.
Sometimes it becomes a contest: Which is more stubborn, the love or the two arguing people caught within it?
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
incessant, adj.
The doubts. You had to save me from my constant doubts. That deep-seeded feeling that I wasn't good enough for anything I was a fake at my job I wasn't your equal my friends would forget me if I moved away for a month. It wasn't as easy as hearing voices nobody was telling me this. It was just something I knew. Everyone else was playing along but I was sure that one day they would all stop.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
ardent, adj.
It was after sex, when there was still heat and mostly breathing, when there was still touch and mostly thought... it was as if the whole world could be reduced to the sound of a single string being played, and the only thing this sound could make me think of was you. Sometimes desire is in the air; sometimes desire is liquid. And every now and then, when everything else is air and liquid, desire solidifies, and the body is the magnet that draws its weight.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
healthy, adj.
There are times when I'm alone that I think, This is it. This is actually the natural state. All I need are my thoughts and my small acts of creation and my ability to go or do whatever I want to go or do. I am myself, and that is the point. Pairing is a social construction. It is by no means necessary for everyone to do it. Maybe I'm better like this. Maybe I could live my life in my own world, and then simply leave it when it's time to go.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
better, adj. and adv.
Will it ever get better?
It better.
Will it ever get better?
It better.
Will it ever get better?
It better.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Serrated, adj.
And you said, "I'm not sure we can.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
fraught, adj.
Does every “I love you” deserve an “I love you too”? Does every kiss deserve a kiss back? Does every night deserve to be spent on a lover?
If the answer to any of these is “No,” what do we do?
”
”
David Levithan
“
Alone, adj. In bad company.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
yearning n. and adj.
At te core of this desire is the belief that everything can be perfect.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
taciturn, adj.
There are days you come home silent. You say words, but you're still silent. I used to bombard you with conversational crowbars, but now I simply let the apartment fall mute. I hear you in the room -- turning on music, typing on the keys, getting up for a drink, shifting in your chair. I try to have my conversation with those sounds.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standards in matters of thought and conduct. To be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
A striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself, whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works)
“
placid, adj.
Sometimes I love it when we just lie on our backs, gaze off, stay still.
”
”
David Levithan
“
obstinate, adj.
Sometimes it becomes a contest: Which is more stubborn, the love or the two arguing people caught within it?
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Fallible, adj.
I was hurt. Of course I was hurt. But in a perverse way, I was relieved that you were the one who mad the mistake. It made me worry less about myself.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
dumbfounded, adj.
And still, for all the jealousy, all the doubt, sometimes I will be struck with a kind of awe that we’re together. That someone like me could findsomeone like you — it renders me wordless. Because surely words would conspire against such luck, would protest the unlikelihood of such a turnof events.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary (Illustrated))
“
Indelible, adj.
That first night, you took your finger and pointed to the top of my head, then traced a line between my eyes, down my nose, over my lips, my chin, my neck, to the center of my chest. It was so surprising. I knew I would never mimic it. That one gesture would be yours forever.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
commonplace, adj.
... But then I'll walk into the bathroom and find you've forgotten to put the cap back on the toothpaste again, and it will be this splinter that I just keep stepping on.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
avant-garde, adj.
This was after Alisa' show, the reverse-blackface rendition of Gone With the Wind, including songs from the Empire Records soundtrack and an interval of nineteenth-century German poetry, recited with a lisp.
"What does avant-garde mean, anyway?" I asked.
"I believe it translates as favor to your friends," you replied.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Ardent, adj.: It was as if the whole world could be reduced to the sound of a single string being played, and the only thing this sound could make me think of was you.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Callous, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
Dumbfounded adj. And still for all the jealousy, all the doubt, sometimes I will be struck with a kind of awe that we're together. That someone like me could find someone like you - it renders me wordless.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Blusterous -- adj. a word used to describe those Atmospheric Conditions in which one's ears are adversely affected {and possibly one's house}.
”
”
A.R. Melrose (Winnie the Pooh: The Pooh Dictionary)
“
yearning, n. and adj.
At the core of this desire is the belief that everything can be perfect.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Abilene (AB-a-lene) adj. Descriptive of the pleasing coolness on the reverse side of the pillow.
”
”
Douglas Adams (The Deeper Meaning of Liff)
“
placid, adj.
Sometimes I love it when we just lie on our backs, gaze off, stay still.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
ALONE, adj. In bad company.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
looseleft adj. feeling a sense of loss upon finishing a good book, sensing the weight of the back cover locking away the lives of characters you've gotten to know so well.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
in•fi•nite (ˈinfənit) adj. 1. The state of not knowing where one body ends and another begins: Our joy is infinite.
”
”
Nicola Yoon (Everything, Everything)
“
arduous, adj.
Sometimes during sex, I wish there was a button on the small of your back that I could press and cause you to be done with it already.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
ABOMINABLE, adj. The quality of another's opinions.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (Collected Works: The Devil's Dictionary, Fantastic Fables and More! (18 Works))
“
ABRUPT, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon- shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it. Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another author's ideas that they were "concatenated without abruption.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
transient, adj.
In school, the year was the marker. Fifth grade. Senior year of high school. Sophomore year of college. Then after, the jobs were the marker. That office, this desk. But now that school is over and I've been working at the same desk for longer than I can truly believe, I realize: You have become the marker. This is your era. And it's only if it goes on and on that I will have to look for other ways to identify the time.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
solipsistic, adj.
Go ahead, I thought. Go ahead. Go ahead. I got stuck there. Go ahead. Go ahead. Because I genuinely couldn't see anything after that.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
flagrant, adj. I would be standing right there, and you would walk out of the bathroom without putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
AUTHENTIC, adj. Indubitably true — in somebody's opinion.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
ledsome adj. feeling lonely in a crowd; drifting along in a sea of anonymous faces but unable to communicate with or confide in any of them.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
Sesquihoral (adj.) Lasting an hour and a half. Because sometimes you just don’t feel like saying “an hour and a half.” Short-thinker
”
”
Ammon Shea (Reading the Oxford English Dictionary: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages)
“
fem·i·nist n. a person who supports feminism. adj. of, relating to, or supporting feminism: feminist literature. late 19th cent.: from French féministe, from Latin femina 'woman'.
”
”
Oxford University Press (The New Oxford American Dictionary)
“
elsewise adj. struck by the poignant strangeness of other people's homes, which smell and feel so different than your own-seeing the details of their private living space, noticing their little daily rituals, the way they've arranged their things, the framed photos of people you'll never know.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
Adj hát
vetkőzni most erőt, érezni e kevés
időre magamat s a világot, te nagy
igazság, szeretet s még nagyobb igazság,
fájdalom. Te adj a szemeimre könnyet,
mert könny nélkül én csak nem-látó, vak vagyok.
”
”
Dezső Kosztolányi
“
Cartesian,adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum- whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo sum- 'I think I think, therefore I think that I am'; as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
sitheless adj. feeling wistful upon brushing past a person you once shared a life with-noticing the same touch on the arm, seeing the same smile, hearing the same laugh you used to adore-suddenly all too aware that it's no longer for you, and lo longer carries the meaning it once did.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
indelible, adj. That first night, you took your finger and pointed to the top of my head, then traced a line between my eyes, down my nose, over my lips, my chin, my neck, to the center of my chest. It was so surprising, I knew I would never mimic it. That one gesture would be yours forever.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Preantepenult (adj.) Not the last, not the one before the last, and not the one before the one before the last. The next one. A sterling example of how it often can be far more confusing to use one word than several. It is far easier to say “the third from the last” than preantepenult. Prend
”
”
Ammon Shea (Reading the Oxford English Dictionary: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages)
“
MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
idlewild adj. feeling grateful to be stranded in a place where you can’t do much of anything—sitting for hours at an airport gate, the sleeper car of a train, or the backseat of a van on a long road trip—which temporarily alleviates the burden of being able to do anything at any time and frees up your brain to do whatever it wants to do, even if it’s just to flicker your eyes across the passing landscape. From Idlewild, the original name of John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer, but if it is a good word and has no exact modern equivalent equally good, it is good enough for the good writer. Indeed, a writer's attitude toward "obsolete" words is as true a measure of his literary ability as anything except the character of his work. A dictionary of obsolete and obsolescent words would not only be singularly rich in strong and sweet parts of speech; it would add large possessions to the vocabulary of every competent writer who might not happen to be a competent reader.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary)
“
Defunct, adj.
You brought home a typewriter for me.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
placid, adj.
Sometimes I love it when we just lie on our backs, gaze off, stay still...
”
”
David Levithan
“
INEXPEDIENT, adj. Not calculated to advance one's interests.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction. LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
antsy, adj.
I swore I would never take you to the opera again.
”
”
David Levithan
“
Unasinous (adj.) Being equal to another in stupidity. If you are uncertain how one might use this word, just think of any two political parties. also
”
”
Ammon Shea (Reading the Oxford English Dictionary: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages)
“
CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
adjetivo (adj) - adjective
”
”
Oxford University Press (Oxford English - Spanish Dictionary)
“
Imperceptible, adj.
We stopped counting our relationship in dates (first date, second date, fifth, date, seventh) and started counting it in months. That might have been the first true commitment, this shift in terminology. We never talked about it, but we were at a party and someone asked how long we`d been together, and when you said, "A month and a half,” I knew we had gotten there.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
fraught, adj. Does every “I love you” deserve an “I love you too”? Does every kiss deserve a kiss back? Does every night deserve to be spent on a lover? If the answer to any of these is “No,” what do we do?
”
”
Anonymous
“
Supervacaneous (adj.) Vainly added over and above what is needed. This word is in some way an example of itself, a redundant way of saying redundant, with a touch of vanity thrown in for good measure. Surfeited
”
”
Ammon Shea (Reading the Oxford English Dictionary: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages)
“
arcane, adj.
It was Joanna who noticed it first. We were over at her house for dinner, and she said something about being able to see the woman across the street doing yoga in the mornings, and how strange it looked when you were watching it from afar.
“So how is Miss Torso doing?” you asked.
And I said, “Perhaps we should ask the pianist.”
Joanna just looked at us and said, “It used to be that you each had your own strange, baffling references. And now you have them together.”
People often say that when couples are married for a long time, they start to look alike. I don’t believe that. But I do believe their sentences start to look alike.
”
”
David Levithan
“
MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtless spectators.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
daunting, adj.
Really, we should use this more as a verb. You daunted me, and I daunted you. Or would it be that I was daunted by you and you were daunted by me? That sounds better. it daunted me that you were so beautiful, that you were so ate ease in social situations, as if every room was heliotropic, with you at the center. And I guess it daunted you that I had so many more friends than you, that I could put words together like this, on paper, and could sometimes conjure a certain sense out of things.
The key is to never recognize these imbalances. To not let the dauntingness daunt us.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
Makeshift, adj.
I had always thought there were two types of people: the helpless and the fixers. Since I`d always been in the first group, calling my landlord whenever the faucet dripped, I was hoping you`d be a fixer. But once we moved it together, I realized there is a third group: the inventors. You possessed only a vague notion of hot to fix things, but that doesn`t stop you from using bubble gum as a sealant, or trying to create ouchless mousetraps out of peanut-butter crackers, a hollowed-out Dustbuster, and a picture of a scarecrow torn out of a magazine fashion spread,
Things rarely get fixed the way they need to be.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
ESOTERIC, adj. Very particularly abstruse and consummately occult. The ancient philosophies were of two kinds,—exoteric, those that the philosophers themselves could partly understand, and esoteric, those that nobody could understand. It is the latter that have most profoundly affected modern thought and found greatest acceptance in our time.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum—whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum— "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
”
”
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
“
Redeless (adj.) Not knowing what to do in an emergency. Redeless has a variety of meanings, but this is the one that speaks to me the most. In yet another case of the rare thing enjoying a common word and vice versa, it is interesting to note that redeless has largely (or entirely) fallen by the linguistic wayside, while savoir faire (which originally meant “knowing what to do in an emergency”) has survived. Redonation
”
”
Ammon Shea (Reading the Oxford English Dictionary: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages)
“
wildred adj. feeling the haunting solitude of extremely remote places—a clearing in the forest, a windswept field of snow, a rest area in the middle of nowhere—which makes you feel like you’ve just intruded on a conversation that had nothing to do with you, where even the gravel beneath your feet and the trees overhead are holding themselves back to a pointed, inhospitable silence. From wild + dread. Pronounced “wil-drid.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
licotic adj. anxiously excited to introduce a friend to something you think is amazing—a classic album, a favorite restaurant, a TV show they’re lucky enough to watch for the very first time—which prompts you to continually poll their face waiting for the inevitable rush of awe, only to cringe when you discover all the work’s flaws shining through for the very first time. Old English licode, it pleased [you] + psychotic. Pronounced “lahy-kot-ic.
”
”
John Koenig (The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
“
Ersatz, adj.
Sometimes we`d go to a party and I would feel like an artificial boyfriend, a placeholder, a boyfriend-shaped space where a charming person should be. Those were the only times when my love for you couldn`t overcome my shyness. And every degree of disappointment I`d feel from you – whether real or of my own invention – would make me disappear further and further, leaving the fake front to not, to sip, to say, “Finish drinking, we are leaving.
”
”
David Levithan (The Lover's Dictionary)
“
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If man's notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from, and nowise dependent on, their consequences—then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.
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Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
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I told myself it was curiosity spurring me on. I didn't realize that a dictionary might be like reading a map or looking in a mirror.
butch (v. transitive), to slaughter (an animal), to kill for market. Also: to cut up, to hack
dyke (n.), senses relating to a ditch or hollowed-out section
gay (v. intransitive), to be merry, cheerful, or light-hearted. Obsolete
lesbian rule (n.), a flexible (usually lead) ruler which can be bent to fit what is being measured...
queer (adj.), strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character, suspicious, dubious...
Even at school I remember wondering about closets, whether there was a subtle difference between someone being in a closet and a skeleton being in a closet.
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Eley Williams (The Liar's Dictionary)
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INADMISSIBLE, adj. Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with, and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves alone. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible because the person quoted was unsworn and is not before the court for examination; yet most momentous actions, military, political, commercial and of every other kind, are daily undertaken on hearsay evidence. There is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence. Revelation is hearsay evidence; that the Scriptures are the word of God we have only the testimony of men long dead whose identity is not clearly established and who are not known to have been sworn in any sense. Under the rules of evidence as they now exist in this country, no single assertion in the Bible has in its support any evidence admissible in a court of law. It cannot be proved that the battle of Blenheim ever was fought, that there was such as person as Julius Caesar, such an empire as Assyria.
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Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
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fuck VULGAR SLANG v. [trans.] 1 have sexual intercourse with (someone). [intrans.] (of two people) have sexual intercourse. 2 ruin or damage (something). n. an act of sexual intercourse. [with adj.] a sexual partner. exclam. used alone or as a noun (the fuck) or a verb in various phrases to express anger, annoyance, contempt, impatience, or surprise, or simply for emphasis. go fuck yourself an exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone. not give a fuck (about) used to emphasize indifference or contempt. fuck around spend time doing unimportant or trivial things. have sexual intercourse with a variety of partners. (fuck around with) meddle with. fuck off [usu. in imperative] (of a person) go away. fuck someone over treat someone in an unfair or humiliating way. fuck someone up damage or confuse someone emotionally. fuck something up (or fuck up) do something badly or ineptly. fuck·a·ble adj. early 16th cent.: of Germanic origin (compare Swedish dialect focka and Dutch dialect fokkelen); possibly from an Indo-European root meaning 'strike', shared by Latin pugnus 'fist'. Despite the wideness and proliferation of its use in many sections of society, the word fuck remains (and has been for centuries) one of the most taboo words in English. Until relatively recently, it rarely appeared in print; even today, there are a number of euphemistic ways of referring to it in speech and writing, e.g., the F-word, f***, or fk. fuck·er n. VULGAR SLANG a contemptible or stupid person (often used as a general term of abuse). fuck·head n. VULGAR SLANG a stupid or contemptible person (often used as a general term of abuse). fuck·ing adj. [attrib.] & adv. [as submodifier] VULGAR SLANG used for emphasis or to express anger, annoyance, contempt, or surprise. fuck-me adj. VULGAR SLANG (of clothing, esp. shoes) inviting or perceived as inviting sexual interest. fuck-up n. VULGAR SLANG a mess or muddle. a person who has a tendency to make a mess of things. fuck·wit n. CHIEFLY BRIT., VULGAR SLANG a stupid or contemptible person (often used as a general term of abuse). fu·coid
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Oxford University Press (The New Oxford American Dictionary)