Adhd Parent Quotes

The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways

The degree to which the psychiatric community is complicit with abusive parents in drugging non-compliant children is a war crime across the generations, and there will be a Nuremberg at some point in the future

Forgive your child and yourself nightly. You didn't ask to live with the effects of ADHD any more than did your child.

This is not a contest with your child. The winner is not the one with more points. The winner is the one whose child still loves them when they graduate from high school.

Parenting” an ADHD spouse is always destructive to your relationship because it demotivates and generates frustration and anger.

Someone told me that their child was diagnosed with ADHD. They wanted to know how I handle the day to day. It's hard on me but it's harder on them. I cry sometimes which means they probably do to. I worry that the world will never give them the chance they deserve but I am. I get frustrated when they are treated badly but they feel worse. I keep trying, I keep learning, and I keep telling their story. Just love your child and don't give up. They need you to be the person that understands.

Why is ADHD so much more common in the United States today than it was 30 or 40 years ago? And why is it so much more common today in the United States than elsewhere? My answer is “the medicalization of misbehavior.

When his parents announced the newest rules to Jamal, he defiantly announced back to them that, as a matter of principle, he would not be "manipulated or forced into complying with a Fascist parenting style.

One stretch of the gene is repeated a variable number of times, and the version with seven repeats (the “7R” form) produces a receptor protein that is sparse in the cortex and relatively unresponsive to dopamine. This is the variant associated with a host of related traits—sensation and novelty seeking, extroversion, alcoholism, promiscuity, less sensitive parenting, financial risk taking, impulsivity, and, probably most consistently, ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder).

Diagnoses —such as ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, an autism spectrum disorder, reactive attachment disorder, the newly coined disruptive mood regulation disorder, or any other disorder—can be helpful in some ways. They “validate” that there’s something different about your kid, for example. But they can also be counterproductive in that they can cause caregivers to focus more on a child’s challenging behaviors rather than on the lagging skills and unsolved problems giving rise to those behaviors. Also, diagnoses suggest that the problem resides within the child and that it’s the child who needs to be fixed. The reality is that it takes two to tango. Let there be no doubt, there’s something different about your child. But you are part of the mix as well. How you understand and respond to the hand you’ve been dealt is essential to helping your child.

Many parents have experienced this with their kids. They get referred for testing, and the first psychologist says the child has ADD. But then another round of tests with the next shrink points to PDD-NOS. More tests and more doctors take us back to ADHD, then Asperger’s. They bounce from one diagnosis to another, never really knowing what to do or where they stand. In some cases, kids are given medications, and a medicine that’s good for one thing can be bad for another.

Behind every successful child with ADHD is a tired parent.

Parents and teachers often find it difficult to believe that students who are very bright can be suffering from ADHD, especially if they're not troublemakers.

What is not developing properly in your child is the capacity to shift from focusing on the here and now to focusing on what is likely to come next in life and the future more generally.

People who live with ADHD are at high risk of addiction, especially adolescents, because of their poorly functioning frontal lobes. Years ago, when the illness was less well understood, doctors and parents were reluctant to give these vulnerable children addictive drugs such as Ritalin and amphetamine. It sounded reasonable: don’t give addictive substances to people at risk for addiction. But rigorous testing showed unambiguously that adolescents who were treated with stimulant drugs were less likely to develop addictions. In fact, those who started the drug at the youngest age and took the highest doses were the least likely to develop problems with illicit drugs. Here’s why: if you strengthen the dopamine control circuit, it’s a lot easier to make wise decisions. On the other hand, if effective treatment is withheld, the weakness of the control circuit is not corrected. The desire circuit acts unopposed, increasing the likelihood of high-risk, pleasure-seeking behavior.

Rather, I believe it is a fundamental deficiency in self-regulation generally and executive functioning specifically—the ability to look toward the future and to control one’s behavior based on that foresight.

If you are being parented, it means that ADHD symptoms are getting in the way of your relationship, whether you are aware of it or not. To get out of parent–child dynamics, consider these suggestions: Talk with your doctor about improving treatment

Children with ADHD can do so many things wrong that parents could confront them on their transgressions throughout much of the day. But is this the kind of relationship you want with your child? Parents of children with ADHD must develop a sense of priorities.

I also see how essential a comprehensive treatment plan is, a plan that incorporates education, understanding, empathy, structure, coaching, a plan for success and physical exercise as well as medication. I see how important the human connection is every step of the way: connection with parent or spouse; with teacher or supervisor; with friend or colleague; with doctor, with therapist, with coach, with the world “out there.” In fact, I see the human connection as the single most powerful therapeutic force in the treatment of ADHD.

One recurrent factor that complicated the emotions of these very bright individuals was the ongoing discrepancy between what was expected of them by their parents, grandparents, and teachers and even themselves and their frequent failure to achieve the expected success. Most of these patients had struggled since early childhood with continuing conflict between their picture of themselves as exceptionally bright and talented and their view of themselves as disappointing failures, unable to “deliver the goods” expected of them. Some had been very successful in their childhood, earning high grades and strong praise during the elementary school years, then gradually lost status and self-esteem due to increasing evidence of their difficulty in coping with the escalating demands of middle school, high school, and postsecondary schooling.

attention deficit disorder in his own son. “I had worked in an ADHD clinic during my residency, and had strong feelings that this was overdiagnosed,” he said. “That it was a ‘savior’ diagnosis for too many kids whose parents wanted a medical reason to drug their children, or to explain their kids’ bad behavior.

Typically their parents, teachers, and others who recognized their strong potential and wanted to help them fulfill it would urge, cajole, and pressure them to exercise “willpower” to show the same strength, effort, and success in those other domains that could significantly improve their future options in life. Most often, those with ADHD joined in criticizing themselves for continuing failure to “just make myself do it.” Both the well-intentioned critics and the guilt-ridden criticized shared the erroneous assumption that symptoms of ADHD could be overcome with sufficient determination and continuing exercise of presumably available willpower.

I know an American family that spent several years living in England. They had one son, who was an average student: not great, but not terrible. When the family returned home to the United States, the parents enrolled him in the local public school. Mom was startled by the continual drumbeat from teachers and other parents: “Maybe your son has ADHD. Have you considered trying a medication?” She told me, “It was weird, like everybody was in on this conspiracy to medicate my son. In England, none of the kids is on medication. Or if they are, it’s a secret. But I really don’t think many are. Here it seems like almost all the kids are on medication. Especially the boys.

This is a burden carried by many of those who have both high IQ and ADHD. At least until their ADHD is diagnosed and treated, they tend to suffer repeated reminders of how they are not performing up to the level expected by those who know that they are extraordinarily intelligent. They tend to feel disappointed in themselves, and they sense the disappointment of their parents and teachers.

Tip: When your child comes home from school, realize that it may be no different than someone coming home from a hard day at work. No matter how anxious you are to hear about how her test went or know how much homework she has, she may have no interest in rehashing her day—especially if it was stressful or talking about it would create more stress. Offer a snack, perhaps some space, or some light conversation about your own day. Do what you can to help your child refuel.

For example, increasing numbers of schoolchildren take stimulants such as Ritalin. In 2011, 3.5 million American children were taking medications for ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). In the UK the number rose from 92,000 in 1997 to 786,000 in 2012.38 The original aim had been to treat attention disorders, but today completely healthy kids take such medications to improve their performance and live up to the growing expectations of teachers and parents.39 Many object to this development and argue that the problem lies with the education system rather than with the children.

Judgment is a challenging concept, full of contradictions. • We use judgment to guide us in our lives every day. We categorize our experiences into good, bad, and neutral, and that leads us to certain behaviors and decisions. In many ways, it makes life easier. • As Dr. Mark Bertin explains in his book, The ADHD Family Solution, judgment “leads us to wrestle with what is not in our control.” For example, it’s understandable that parents of children with challenges feel disappointed when they can’t control their children’s behaviors. If a hyperactive 10-year-old is bouncing off the walls or jumping on the furniture, frustrated parents may come to the judgment that this kid is disrespectful and won’t listen to them; or worse, that he’ll never live up to his potential. “Standing in judgment” does not serve our children—or us. Attaching a stigma to a behavior makes them feel like a failure, interfering with our ability to help them learn to improve that behavior.

After gathering evidence on this for decades, Alan concluded that “none of what I originally believed turned out to be true,” and a “clear majority” of the kids who were later diagnosed “were not born to be ADHD. They developed these problems in reaction to their circumstances.” There was one crucial question, Alan said, that held the key to whether parents overcame these problems—one that seemed to me to tell us a lot about Sami’s work: Is there somebody giving you support? The families they studied sometimes got help from people around them. It usually wasn’t from a professional—they just found a supportive partner, or a group of friends. When their social support went up in this way, they found “the children are less likely to have problems at the next stage.” Why would this be? Alan wrote: “Parents experiencing less stress can be more responsive to their infants; then infants can become more secure.” This effect was so large that “the strongest predictor of positive change was an increase in social support available to the parents during the intervening years.” Social support is, I reflected, the main thing Sami provides to families whose children struggle with attention.

Cogmed Working Memory Training because of the solid independent research supporting its effectiveness.

Outside the research laboratory, parents and teachers may notice other differences between SPD and ADHD. For instance, many children with SPD prefer the “same-old, same-old” in a familiar and predictable environment, while children with ADHD prefer novelty and diversion. Many children with SPD have poor motor coordination, while children with ADHD often shine in sports. Many children with SPD have adequate impulse control, unless bothered by sensations, while children with ADHD often have poor impulse control. Another difference is that medicine may help the child with ADHD, but medicine will not solve the problem of SPD. Therapy focusing on sensory integration and a sensory diet of purposeful activities help the child with SPD.

Alexis,” I told her “puberty is like a long rope. I hold on to one side, and you on to the other end. You are going to want to pull on that rope to topple me, and you may even want to let go of the rope when I’m pulling on you. The one thing we must both never do, is too NEVER let go of the rope.

Imagine this: summer leaves are blanketing the park under a cloudless sky and a gentle breeze is lifting along the shouts and laughter of children. Some children are running around tirelessly while others are just hanging around talking or engaged in some activity that only other children fully understand. Amidst this typical scenario, one can almost always find a parent chasing a child who is seemingly full of boundless energy, as he races around, going up and down the slide over and over, climbing the monkey bars, and clowning around with almost everyone despite the repeated warnings and reminders from the exhausted parent. But the child appears to not even hear the warnings and reminders, or chooses to ignore them. Eventually, the poor parent cannot keep up anymore, as she has run around until she has gotten so tired, that she feels like smacking her head against a tree or brick wall.

Consider hiring professional help. This is a very difficult dynamic to change. A professional ADHD coach or therapist can help you identify parent–child interactions and provide ideas for new ways to interact. Make sure the person has experience with ADHD!

Regardless of your individual profile, one thing is true across the board: ADHD can be very frustrating. It damages careers, disrupts relationships, makes parenting harder, and can make people feel ashamed. The many challenges this condition presents can truly bring people to tears. The good news is that ADHD can be managed—and managed pretty darn well, at that.

Who are we, the people who have ADHD? We are the problem kid who drives his parents crazy by being totally disorganized, unable to follow through on anything, incapable of cleaning up a room, or washing dishes, or performing just about any assigned task; the one who is forever interrupting, making excuses for work not done, and generally functioning far below potential in most areas. We are the kid who gets daily lectures on how we’re squandering our talent, wasting the golden opportunity that our innate ability gives us to do well, and failing to make good use of all that our parents have provided. We are also sometimes the talented executive who keeps falling short due to missed deadlines, forgotten obligations, social faux pas, and blown opportunities. Too often we are the addicts, the misfits, the unemployed, and the criminals who are just one diagnosis and treatment plan away from turning it all around. We are the people Marlon Brando spoke for in the classic 1954 film On the Waterfront when he said, “I coulda been a contender.” So many of us coulda been contenders, and shoulda been for sure. But then, we can also make good. Can we ever! We are the seemingly tuned-out meeting participant who comes out of nowhere to provide the fresh idea that saves the day. Frequently, we are the “underachieving” child whose talent blooms with the right kind of help and finds incredible success after a checkered educational record. We are the contenders and the winners. We are also imaginative and dynamic teachers, preachers, circus clowns, and stand-up comics, Navy SEALs or Army Rangers, inventors, tinkerers, and trend setters. Among us there are self-made millionaires and billionaires; Pulitzer and Nobel prize winners; Academy, Tony, Emmy, and Grammy award winners; topflight trial attorneys, brain surgeons, traders on the commodities exchange, and investment bankers. And we are often entrepreneurs. We are entrepreneurs ourselves, and the great majority of the adult patients we see for ADHD are or aspire to be entrepreneurs too. The owner and operator of an entrepreneurial support company called Strategic Coach, a man named Dan Sullivan (who also has ADHD!), estimates that at least 50 percent of his clients have ADHD as well.

Rule #1: Don’t Compare Your Children

Indeed, a study looking into families with multiple children where one or more had ODD or ADHD found that non-ODD/ADHD siblings felt unprotected by their parents and became resentful of the degree of control their ADHD/ODD sibling had on the family. These children can also become passive since they do not want to be a bother to their parents as they understand the time and attention their sibling requires.

making specific changes in your child’s bedroom can improve cleanliness, encourage good study habits, boost your relationship, spark creativity, help concentration, promote calmness, and improve mental health.

The best way to help a child with ADHD (or any child) is to maintain a loving relationship with them. No matter how you fix external issues (like a messy room), your success will be limited if you ignore the importance of your relationship

Your five-year-old son wanders around his kindergarten classroom distracting other kids. The teacher complains: he can’t sit through her scintillating lessons on the two sounds made by the letter e. When the teacher invites all the kids to sit with her on the rug for a song, he stares out the window, watching a squirrel dance along a branch. She’d like you to take him to be evaluated. And so you do. It’s a good school, and you want the teacher and the administration to like you. You take him to a pediatrician, who tells you it sounds like ADHD. You feel relief. At least you finally know what’s wrong. Commence the interventions, which will transform your son into the attentive student the teacher wants him to be. But obtaining a diagnosis for your kid is not a neutral act. It’s not nothing for a kid to grow up believing there’s something wrong with his brain. Even mental health professionals are more likely to interpret ordinary patient behavior as pathological if they are briefed on the patient’s diagnosis.[15] “A diagnosis is saying that a person does not only have a problem, but is sick,” Dr. Linden said. “One of the side effects that we see is that people learn how difficult their situation is. They didn’t think that before. It’s demoralization.” Nor does our noble societal quest to destigmatize mental illness inoculate an adolescent against the determinism that befalls him—the awareness of a limitation—once the diagnosis is made. Even if Mom has dressed it in happy talk, he gets the gist. He’s been pronounced learning disabled by an occupational therapist and neurodivergent by a neuropsychologist. He no longer has the option to stop being lazy. His sense of efficacy, diminished. A doctor’s official pronouncement means he cannot improve his circumstances on his own. Only science can fix him.[16] Identifying a significant problem is often the right thing to do. Friends who suffered with dyslexia for years have told me that discovering the name for their problem (and the corollary: that no, they weren’t stupid) delivered cascading relief. But I’ve also talked to parents who went diagnosis shopping—in one case, for a perfectly normal preschooler who wouldn’t listen to his mother. Sometimes, the boy would lash out or hit her. It took him forever to put on his shoes. Several neuropsychologists conducted evaluations and decided he was “within normal range.” But the parents kept searching, believing there must be some name for the child’s recalcitrance. They never suspected that, by purchasing a diagnosis, they might also be saddling their son with a new, negative understanding of himself. Bad

These conditions commonly coexist with ADHD: Obstructive sleep apnea: This sleep disorder, characterized by snoring and pauses in breathing during sleep, is more common among adults, but it does occur in children, especially children with ADHD. Restless leg syndrome: This condition causes an intense, often irresistible urge to move your legs, particularly when sitting or lying down. Unlike ADHD-related hyperactivity, it happens mostly at night and often gets worse with age. Periodic limb movement syndrome: You know how your leg kicks or your arm flops all of a sudden when you’re falling asleep? It has a name. At least, it does when it keeps happening every twenty to forty seconds and long enough to interfere with sleep.[*3] Sleepwalking and night terrors: These sleep disorders occur when the lines between awake and asleep are blurred. They are often first observed in childhood by parents. Insomnia: You’ve probably heard of this one. Insomnia occurs whenever you want to sleep but can’t sleep, due to difficulties falling asleep or staying asleep, and it is also one of the criteria for delayed sleep phase syndrome. Delayed sleep phase syndrome: This syndrome occurs when your body’s internal clock, or its circadian rhythm, is delayed by two or more hours. For example, you might naturally want to sleep from three a.m. to noon. Excessive daytime sleepiness: This condition is exactly what it sounds like. If you’re falling asleep in the middle of a movie at your friend’s house or missing a shift because you can’t stay awake, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend or a lazy employee. It could be a sign that something is wrong.

harsh, or inconsistent with their child’s treatment may increase their risk of developing ADHD. Studies have shown that parenting stress can increase the risk of being diagnosed with ADHD. Higher stress levels in childhood can lead to hyperactivity and attention problems, common symptoms among children with ADHD. Bad parenting behavior could also cause childhood emotional trauma, playing a role in the long-term development of ADHD symptoms (Koppert, 2020).

Several studies have shown that children with ADHD have a higher tendency to be raised in homes with less financial security. They are more likely not to get enough nurturing and emotional support, and their parents are emotionally unavailable. In addition, children with ADHD may be more likely to live in neighborhoods with toxic pollution levels, cigarette smoking, heavy traffic, and other potential sources of environmental toxins. In addition to environmental factors, certain lifestyle choices during

Many parents believe there is no reason for ADHD and they can control their child’s behavior by imposing rules and discipline to compensate for symptoms of ADHD and eventually outgrow the symptoms. Unfortunately, this is not true. The symptoms can be managed or controlled, but you can’t outgrow ADHD.

Children with ADHD often suffer from a negative self-image. Children with this condition are often doubted or minimized by their teachers, parents, and peers. This can lead children to believe that they cannot succeed or be as good as other children, leading to a lack of motivation and interest.

CHILDREN WITH ADHD OUTGROW THIS CONDITION A common misconception is that children grow out of this disorder. Parents and many physicians previously believed that once children with ADHD reached adolescence and then adulthood, their ADHD would resolve. However, recent research indicates that certain aspects of the disorder can persist into adulthood for up to 85% of these children.

The “poor parent” myth is that children with ADHD have parents who do not adequately discipline or create an orderly and consistent household, thus creating behavioral and hyperactivity problems in their children. ADHD does have biological roots, which are not caused by poor parenting but by genetics, neurotransmitters, and other factors. The myth that parents are not doing their job has led some parents to overcompensate and enact harsh punishments. In addition, children may not be allowed any privileges, such as participating in play or school activities.

personal life responsibilities. Frequent Behavior Issues: You tend to be indifferent, impulsive, or restless, so you act without thinking through the consequences of your actions. Behaviors and actions that could be due to ADHD often result in punishment from parents or school authorities, making it harder for you to learn the skills that will help you control your impulses. Additionally, you are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior, school phobia, anxiety, melancholy, and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).

Children with ADHD have much more potential for academic success than many parents give them credit for. These children are usually very capable of achieving the same educational goals as their peers once their education, organization, and study skills have been adequately developed. ADHD does not affect a child’s performance in school; a lack of information or instruction hinders a child’s learning ability.

We take a clear stand in this book: for those affected, ADHD is all too real, producing a terrible inability to focus at just those times when attention is most needed: in classrooms, at the workplace, or when a peer, parent, or life partner is telling them something essential.

If a child or adolescent has AD/HD, he experiences some executive function weaknesses.

study—using a medication dose that causes the most improvement (rather than the lowest possible dose), making

Development of brain growth, timing, and coordination in childhood are critical to proper function throughout life. If there is developmental delay in brain function in childhood, such as ADHD, autism, Tourette’s Syndrome, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety, tics, dyslexia, learning or processing disorders, or even more subtle symptoms, it is best to aggressively rehabilitate function before adulthood. Unfortunately, the current model of health care tells parents to wait for the child to grow out of it. However, many children do not grow out of it and miss key windows of time for ideal brain development. Unrelated to developmental delays, early symptoms of brain degeneration such as poor mental endurance, poor memory, and inability to learn new things are also serious issues when timing matters. The longer a person waits to manage their brain degeneration or developmental delay the less potential they have to make a difference. Datis Kharrazian, DHSc, DC, MS

law says a child’s IEP must be drafted without any influence of financial limitations.

fortitude,

appreciating the progress made by your child or student.

Mirror neurons fire for something as simple as drinking water and as complex as yelling in anger. When you watch someone else get angry, stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol start to flow. You may not always manage stress the way you hope to, but the very fact that you are working on it will benefit your children.

My life as a parent was a battleground for various belief systems,” she writes,[43] “all of which had one thing in common: an inability to come to terms with human variability.” Singer and her family were disabled in a way that no one knew how to name, so she created a name for them: they were neurodiverse, and they suffered because the world demanded they be neurotypical. These terms would be popularized by journalist Harvey Blume and widely adopted by disability advocates a few years later. The label neurodiverse includes everyone from people with ADHD, to Down Syndrome, to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, to Borderline Personality Disorder.

those

What is most important to understand about children with ADHD is not simply that they move about too much, it is that they react or behave too much. They are much more likely to respond to the things around them in any situation than are children without ADHD of the same age. Their behavior occurs too quickly, too forcefully, and too easily in situations where other children would be more inhibited.

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there gazing with horror and amazement at the mess our little (and sometimes big) angels make. We’re left pulling our hair and wondering, “Is there a cleaning lady who can shovel the mess out the window

Parenting kids with ADHD is HARD, and we (parents) make it more complicated when our homes don’t support our children’s needs.

s. “Mom, I feel my ADHD less when I only have things I need and love in my room. It already feels much better in there, and I haven’t finished yet.

if “quality time” means having deep, meaningful conversations or a good time with your child, there is no way to ensure your time together will be “quality.” I suggest spending intentional time with your kids and lots of it! More time together will naturally create moments of “quality time.

Parents know that it can be hard to forgive or move on when there is little or no accountability from their kids or genuine apologies. Their kids want to get it over with, say a quick sorry, and move on. The best option for you is to have a conversation with your son or daughter in a quiet moment, within their twenty-four-hour memory window, about what happened. Say what you need to say, see that it is heard, and ask for some accountability. When the conversation is over, you are finished; you reset and move forward. Compassion creates alliances that are the heart of successful parenting. Drs. Edward Hallowell and Peter Jensen, in their book Superparenting for ADD, emphasizes its importance

Clinical psychologist | Clinical Psychology services calgary | McAtee Psychology Gavin is a registered psychologist with over ten years of experience providing professional therapy and assessment services to children and teenagers along with couples & families. Gavin will help you gain clarity and move consciously towards what's truly important and meaningful to you and your family. Gavin's mission is to help you gain the knowledge you need to set goals, find solutions, and move towards actions that help you achieve a rich, meaningful, and full life. Gavin' expertise includes the following: - Relationship Issues (Couples & Family Therapy) - Children and Adolescent Issues - Parent Consultation & Strategies - Mood Disorders (Stress, Depression, Anxiety) - Developmental Disorders (e.g., ADHD, ASD) Working Phone No: 403 926 3738

Excessive Shame It is unfortunate that one of the recurring experiences for individuals with ADHD is personal criticism or comments about how they just did something stupid. Often, the people making these comments are important authority figures—parents, teachers, peers, bosses, and, yes, spouses. Unfinished projects (distraction), poor decision making (impulsivity or too much information to process), memory problems, and more mean that people with ADHD often fail to do things as quickly as or in the same way that those without ADHD do them.

child with ADHD may not seem to listen when spoken to or follow directions, may be reluctant to engage in tasks that are boring or effortful, may be distracted easily, fidget, leave his or her seat when sitting is expected, have difficulty waiting his or her turn, interrupt others, and talk excessively.

Avoidance starts with the child’s ADHD symptoms of forgetfulness, disorganization, and distractibility that irritate parents due to a lack of understanding. The parent displays their frustration in a way that confuses and generally labels the child without understanding. The child then withdraws from the parent and doesn’t ask for help with any executive functioning skills, which they absolutely need. The parent reiterates expectations, usually in a louder and more aggressive way, and then the child continues to display the same symptoms, leading to more resentment from the parent toward the child. It’s a dangerous cycle, and the responsibility is on the parents to break that cycle. Breaking this pattern requires education, patience, empathetic discussions of expectations, and an accurate understanding of ADHD or executive functioning deficiencies. Although that may sound a bit overwhelming, picking up this book is a great first step. Studies have shown that parental understanding of ADHD is the number-one predictor of adult success for children with ADHD.

Adults just cannot understand how someone with strong test scores could forget to bring a pencil to class. In my case, this lack of understanding led me to believe that my brain just did not work right and that I was personally defective. It’s critical that parents or adults working with children with ADHD or executive functioning issues understand the internal frustration of these children. The way we react is critical in preventing the development of some of these damaging beliefs.

Take breaks. You cannot and should never, ever run yourself out of batteries. Allow your child to take breaks as well, and always make sure you are well-rested, relaxed, and energized. Yes, you are working hard to help your child live a better life, but that doesn't mean you can allow yourself to go non-stop, without a single break. Allow family, friends, or a babysitter to spend some time with your child now and again; it can do wonders for your mental health and energy levels.

your

The BIRD Method for Making Good Choices  B = Breathe - When faced with a decision, take a slow, deep breath first. This stimulates your reasoning brain! I = Identify - What exactly is the situation? What are your alternatives? Say them aloud. R = Reason - What would happen if you made each option? Would it benefit you or harm you and others? D = Decide - Make the best decision based on your reasoning.

This condition is frequently misunderstood and misdiagnosed. In fact, many people still doubt it is a real thing, believing ADHD is not a legitimate condition but, instead, an excuse for a badly behaved child or for poor parenting. People

According to DSM-5-TR, children 4 to 16 must show at least 6 out of 9 symptoms listed in the DSM-5-TR with apparent severity to be officially diagnosed. Who and where: A psychiatrist, a neurologist, a psychologist, a certified mental health professional, or a pediatrician must be the ones to make the diagnosis.

the theory that sugar can induce hyperactivity or any other kind of high isn’t supported by the research. The notion that sugar intake could lead to what was then called “the neurotic child” was first proposed in the medical literature in 1922, and later gained popularity during the 1970s, when researchers were first studying attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. But these early studies failed to control for many other factors that we know now can play a role in a child’s ADHD management, including their sleep schedule, parents’ stress levels, and genetics.

One of my biggest fears is that school-age children end up getting labeled as having ADHD and are given medication when parents could have put in the early training that may have nipped these problems in the bud or at least made them less severe. I wonder how many children diagnosed with ADHD may not have a neurological condition but rather be suffering from a lack of time being put in on education in the early years to help develop those brain circuits and increase the ability to focus and concentrate.

Time spent in nature can even relieve the symptoms of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). A pair of researchers at the University of Illinois, Andrea Faber Taylor and Ming Kuo, were intrigued by reports from parents that their ADHD-affected children seemed to function better after exposure to nature. Putting this possibility to an empirical test, they had children aged seven to twelve take a supervised walk in a park, in a residential neighborhood, or in a busy area of downtown Chicago. Following the walks, the youngsters who’d spent time in the park were better able to focus than the children in the other two groups—so much so, in fact, that on a test of their ability to concentrate, they scored like typical kids without ADHD. Indeed, Taylor and Kuo point out, a twenty-minute walk in a park improved children’s concentration and impulse control as much as a dose of an ADHD drug like Ritalin.

Be proactive.” Far too often we react to our children’s behavior, often on impulse, without regard for the consequences and with no plan for what we are trying to achieve. In those instances we are being acted on and not consciously choosing to act. Seeing a situation from

Do you think ADHD should be recognized as a separate disability category according to IDEA? Support your position. What are the three subtypes of ADHD? List three symptoms typical of each subtype. Identify three possible causes of ADHD. Give an example of each. Give five examples of characteristics typical of children and adolescents with ADHD. Why do you think pupils with ADHD frequently exhibit other academic and behavioral difficulties? How is ADHD diagnosed? What role do parents and teachers play in the diagnostic process? What role does medication play in the treatment of ADHD? Why is this approach controversial? Describe three other intervention options for students with ADHD. How can assistive technology help students with ADHD? ADHD is usually a lifelong condition. In what ways might this disorder affect the lives of adults with ADHD? Why are some professionals concerned about the identification of ADHD in students from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds?

Accepting that my son had ADHD required a huge re-adjustment of my own mindset. I needed to understand his challenges and limitations and to change my own expectations. Simple parenting strategies which had so far largely failed needed to be abandoned. And from within I needed to find the strength to be consistent, the patience to constantly work at these new challenges with him and the faith to believe that all would indeed be fine.

One study taken from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, for example, revealed associations between ADHD Inattentive Type and self-reported parental or guardian neglect, physical abuse, and even sexual abuse.

When I look at the world today, from the physician's point of view, from the health point of view, what do we see? We see a society, not just in North America, but as globalization extends its reach around the world, we see increasing levels of certain illnesses, certain mental illnesses like ADHD, which didn't use to exist in certain countries and now, all of a sudden, they have a problem with it. Auto-immune diseases like inflammatory bowel disease that didn't use to exist in certain societies, now exist in these societies. If you look at North America, if you look at multiple sclerosis in the 1930s or 40s, the gender ratio was about 1 woman to every man. Now that ratio is about 3 and a half women for every man. If you look at something like asthma which is rising amongst kids... a study in the United States last year showed that the more episodes of racism a black American woman experiences, the greater the risk for asthma. We've known for a long time that the more stress the parents have, the greater the risk of the child having asthma. In North America millions of kids are on medication now, for depression, anxiety, ADHD, and more and more kids are being medicated all the time. If you look at something like autism spectrum disorder, it is now being diagnosed 40 times as often as it was 30 or 40 years ago. Anxiety is the fastest growing diagnose in North America amongst young people. The usual medical explanations for any of these phenomena just doesn't hold. Because medicine, for the most part, sees all of these problems as simply biological issues. Multiple sclerosis being a disease of the nervous system. Inflammatory bowel disease being a malaise of the gut. ADHD, depression, anxiety, addiction.. these are problems of the brain. And, for the most part, we like to rely on genetic explanations, that it is genes that are causing these things, or, if it is not genes, we don't know what is causing it. Of course, if you just look at that one little fact that I told you about the ratio of women and men in multiple sclerosis.. you know right away it can't be genetic. Because genes don't change in a population over 7 years and if they did, why would they change more for one gender than the other? Nor it can be the climate nor the diet because that also hasn't changed more for one gender than the other. Something else is going on. For ADHD and the fact that many more kids are being diagnosed.. that can't be genetic, cause genes don't change in a population over 10 years or 5 years or 15 years.

A key component of the ADHD myth is that it’s a neurobiological disorder. This “fact” is convenient because it isolates the disorder from any taint of association with family problems, suboptimal parenting, child abuse, poverty, and other social ills.

Refuting the simplistic statement that “ADHD is caused by bad parenting” avoids a more complex argument (given in chapter 7) that adverse factors such as physical abuse or trauma in a child’s home environment can impair neurological development and be linked to ADHD symptoms.

In his book-length review of the executive functions, Dr. Russell Barkley (2012) explored the reasons that these skills evolved in humans in the first place. He makes the compelling case that it was the selection pressures associated with humans living in larger groups of genetically unrelated individuals, which made it selectively advantageous to have good self-regulation skills. That is, these abilities became more important to survival as humans became more interdependent with and reliant on dealings with people who were not family. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and executive dysfunction continue to have effects on the myriad relationships and social interactions in daily life. These connections include romantic and committed relationships/marriage, relationships with parents, siblings, children, and other relatives, friendships, and interactions with employers, coworkers, and customers. The executive functions in relationships also figure in the capacity for empathy and tracking social debt, that is, the balance of favors you owe others and favors owed to you. The ability to effectively organize behavior across time in goal-directed activities gains you “social collateral.” That is, the more you deliver on promises and projects, the more that you will be sought out by others and maintain bonds with them. Some of the common manifestations of ADHD and executive dysfunction that may create problems in relationships include: • Distractibility during conversations • Forgetfulness about matters relevant to another person • Verbal impulsivity—talking over someone else • Verbal impulsivity—saying the “wrong thing” • Breaking promises (acts of commission, e.g., making an expensive purchase despite agreeing to stay within a household budget) • Poor follow-through on promises (acts of omission, e.g., forget to pick up dry cleaning) • Disregarding the effects of one’s behavior on others (e.g., building up excessive debt on a shared credit card account) • Poor frustration tolerance, anger (e.g., overreacting to children’s behavior) • Lying to cover up mistakes • Impulsive behaviors that reduce trust (e.g., romantic infidelity)

[T]he biological model of psychiatry appealed to parents who had often felt blamed when they took their child to a psychoanalytically oriented therapist. Parents became resistant when therapists began suggesting making changes to their parenting model as part of their children's treatment. [...] [P]arents found relief in the idea that their child suffered from a real biological illness, in whose origins they or other family members played no role. [...] Instead of "blaming" parents for their children's problems, the new biological way of diagnosing children let parents off the hook entirely.

I believe ADHD is a constellation of symptoms that our society interprets as a medical condition [...]. ADHD certainly "exists," in the sense that many children exhibit behaviors that parents and teachers can see and doctors can measure. But in my view ADHD is neither an unnatural condition of childhood nor an illness that requires medication. Often, behaviors tagged as ADHD are normal childhood responses to stressful situations. I believe ADHD is overdiagnosed and overmedicated and that well-meaning parents from all backgrounds have been duped into believing that their perfectly normal and healthy child needs powerful psychostimulant medications just to be "normal" and successful. I believe this is harmful to parents and to children, and I believe there is a better way.

focus attention on, being able to focus on it at the correct time, being able to shift attention from one thing to another, and being able to stop paying attention or focusing on something when it’s time to do something else.

What happened to the good old days when parents were so intolerant of their children that they convinced their pediatricians that the kids had ADHD and forced Adderall down their throats to keep them on course and out of the way?

Many children with ADHD have difficulty self-monitoring around technology. They lose track of time, hyperfocus, prioritize poorly, and strain to transition attention. On their own, they spend up to twice as much time in front of screens as their peers do

A Columbia University study identified fifteen hundred children who had been assessed and diagnosed with ADHD. Within two years, over 50 percent of the children had lost their diagnosis. In other words, the severity of their symptoms no longer met the criteria for this disorder.

Leon Eisenberg was growing uncomfortable with this enthusiasm. However rooted in science, Conners’s symptom questionnaire measured not necessarily a child’s behavior, but outsiders’ impression of it—their tolerance for it. The evaluations remained dangerously subjective, allowing a parent or teacher to circle 2’s and 3’s depending on their own values, even whims. Eisenberg cautioned: “Whereas the adult comes for treatment largely because of his own distress and at his own initiative, the child comes to our attention because of his family’s or his community’s initiative. Who, then, are we to classify diagnostically: the child, the family, the community, or all three?” He feared now that the Conners Scale, unleashed upon the real and imperfect world, would begin green-lighting widespread overuse of Ritalin.

failure of my child’s is not necessarily a failure of my own either. It is especially crucial to remember that when parenting a special needs child. Some of Ricochet’s “failures” were just part of his genetic code and not really failures at all.

Despite what parents have been told by doctors and the mainstream media, there is science to suggest that vaccines are linked to ADHD[1], autism, asthma, and a number of other serious chronic conditions. In no way have these questions been settled, and in no way has a vaccine-autism link been debunked, as is often stated.

Parents have come to believe the following conditions are “normal” (as in, many people have them and there’s nothing that can be done) when, in fact, they are not: Colic Eczema Asthma Diabetes Allergies (food/environmental) ADHD Autism Learning disabilities Picky eating

We all know one or more children, adolescents, and adults who have ADHD. With ADHD occurring in about one in every ten children and teens, and approximately one in every twenty adults, ADHD touches us all.

It is critical for parents and children to firmly understand that ADHD is a brain-functioning condition that impacts individuals in specific ways. It is a chronic neurobiological disorder that is generally managed and not cured. Therefore, families need to understand and accept the condition so that they can live with it most effectively. If parents and others lack the correct perspectives, these problems often continue or worsen. When parents and others truly understand what ADHD is and its impact on a daily basis, then they can better under-stand the challenges and stop taking the difficulties personally.

A moment of weakness is not a sign of failure. A failure of my child’s is not necessarily a failure of my own either. It is especially crucial to remember that when parenting a special needs child. Some of Ricochet’s “failures” were just part of his genetic code and not really failures at all.

Although we recognize that poor parenting practices and deliberately defiant children do exist in our culture, most oppositional behaviors in 2e children—stubbornness, impatience, low frustration levels, and tantrums—are caused by underlying deficits in emotional regulation and in social cognition (mind-blindness) or by characteristics of giftedness. For a large portion of the 2e population, oppositionality is not simply a learned behavior. The diagnosis of ODD is a very real danger to 2e children because it opens the door to their being seriously misunderstood, misjudged, and medicated. Unfortunately, the notion that ODD is a learned behavior arising from poor parenting echoes a long-held assumption that parents somehow “cause” their children's disorders.