8 Rules Of Love Quotes

General Wolf Rules For Life 1. Eat 2. Rest 3. Rove in between 4. Render loyalty 5. Love the children 6. Cavil in the moonlight 7. Tune your ears 8. Attend to the bones 9. Make love 10. Howl

Alone, we learn to love ourselves, to understand ourselves, to heal our own pain, and to care for ourselves.

Now lend me your ears. Here is Creative Writing 101: 1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted. 2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for. 3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water. 4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action. 5. Start as close to the end as possible. 6. Be a sadist. No matter sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of. 7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia. 8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages. The greatest American short story writer of my generation was Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964). She broke practically every one of my rules but the first. Great writers tend to do that.

Language has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.

Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things may seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful ! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi/Lightworker is thankful not only for what she/he has been given, but also for what she/he has been denied. (8)

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Everything we love goes. So to be able to grieve that loss, to let go, to have that grief be absolutely full, is the only way to have our heart be full and open. If we’re not open to losing, we’re not open to loving.

Closure is something you give yourself.

Men are idiots. I love men; I love my family of men, but most other men are so dumb. They think everything is combative, especially rules.

But trust comes with quiet reliability.

One of the secrets to a good relationship is being attracted to someone out of choice rather than out of need.

Loneliness makes us rush into relationships; it keeps us in the wrong relationships; and it urges us to accept less than we deserve.

Honor your ex for the gifts they gave you.

the deepest love as when you like someone’s personality, respect their values, and help them toward their goals in a long-term, committed relationship.

Dreams don’t have to be big; they just have to be yours.

Love is not about staging the perfect proposal or creating a perfect relationship. It’s about learning to navigate the imperfections that are intrinsic to ourselves, our partners, and life itself.

Sometimes people jump from relationship to relationship because they’re trying to avoid the challenges that love requires. You could date someone new every three months and have a lot of fun. But there is no growth in the cycle of just flirting, hooking up, and ditching. It is this ongoing growth and understanding that helps us sustain the fun of love, the connection of love, the trust of love, the reward of love. If we never commit, we’ll never get to love.

The world will brin its condemnation. They may even put their sword behind it. But we know that the highest courst has already ruled in our favor. 'If God is for us, who can be against us?' (Romans 8:31) No one successfully If they reject us, he accepts us. If they hate us, he loves us. If they imprison us, he sets our spirits free. If they afflict us, he refines us by the fire. If they kill us, he makes it a passage to paradise. They cannot defeat us. Christ has died. Christ has risen. We are alive in him. And in him there is no condemnation. We are forgiven, and we are righteous. 'And the righteous are bold as a lion.' (Proverbs 28:1)

The Rules For Being Human 1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of this time around. 2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid. 3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately “works.” 4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson. 5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned. 6. “There” is no better than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here,” you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.” 7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. 8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. 9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Life’s questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust. 10. You will forget all this. Chérie Carter-Scott

We are meant to be learning at every stage of life. Think about life as a series of classrooms or ashrams in which we learn various lessons.

We have a choice: we can either change our mindset or change what we don’t like. We need to get in the habit of assessing ourselves and making efforts to improve our own lives.

Our difficult loved ones are in our lives to teach us tolerance. Meet people with love even when they don’t meet you with love.

When you like a flower, you pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it daily.

When you accept who you are and what you want, you’re less likely to be triggered by someone else’s opinion of you or perception of your ideas.

(Lily and Rule discussing wedding plans...) "You want to get married by Carl?" "Your father's cook?" "Yes, and I've been wanting to talk about the doves." "Doves." Her eyes widened in horror. "My mother wanted doves." "Perhaps she had a point. Wouldn't it look splendid, releasing a few dozen white doves all at once to carry our message of hope and love up to --" "Your are so full of shit." But she started laughing. "Doves, sure. Our guests would love some flying hors d'oeuvres. Maybe we should have some cute little bunnies for them to chase after the ceremony instead of cake, sending our message of fuzzy, yummy love to flesh eaters everywhre.

They’re afraid to talk about difficult feelings because they or their partner might get angry. They hide how they feel to avoid stirring up trouble. Keeping the peace often comes at the expense of honesty and understanding. And the converse is also true: Love built on honesty and understanding is deep and fulfilling, but not necessarily peaceful. Partners who avoid conflict don’t understand each other’s priorities, values, or struggles. Every couple fights—or should.

We often pressure our partners to be as enthusiastic as we are about our passion. Or we wonder if they’re right for us because when we talk about our passion, they don’t have much to add to the conversation. Our partner doesn’t have to share our passions. Even if they do, that doesn’t guarantee success in a relationship. Remind yourself why you are with them and remember that being alike isn’t necessary for a happy relationship.

Eight rules for writing fiction: 1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted. 2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for. 3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water. 4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action. 5. Start as close to the end as possible. 6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of. 7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia. 8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

We can’t expect to get love right when we’ve never been educated on how to give or receive it. How to manage our emotions in connection to someone else’s. How to understand others. How to build and nurture a relationship where both people thrive.

The difference between loneliness and solitude is the lens through which we see our time alone, and how we use that time. The lens of loneliness makes us insecure and prone to bad decisions. The lens of solitude makes us open and curious. As such, solitude is the foundation on which we build our love.

My love for her is selfish,” I snarled in agreement. “And I’m no hero. Perhaps if I was, I would sacrifice myself here and now, lay down my life in the hopes that it might buy her the freedom you claim it would. That it might leave her free to rule without me, to love without me, to just fucking be without me. But my death would be the destruction of the beauty in her soul. My end would be the ruin of all the light in her world. So no, I won’t sacrifice myself so that the world can have more of her. I’d rather sacrifice the world itself, just so that I can be there to make sure I see her when she rises up to claim it. By her side, where I belong. Two halves of one fucking whole. And if you don’t know that much about me, then you aren’t me at all.

Even if you’re not avoiding your partner, it’s still a bad sign if you feel drained and unenthusiastic when you spend time with them.

I define the deepest love as when you like someone’s personality, respect their values, and help them toward their goals in a long-term, committed relationship.

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave. SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6

If there are aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, we should do something to change them.

Movies idealize love, but we rarely find out what happens after happily ever after.

And we prepare for love by learning how to love ourselves in solitude.

It's about learning how to display your values, not how to advertise yourself.

Energy of goodness. In this energy, you chose someone with whom you felt connected and compatible. There was mutual respect, and often these relationships end with some feelings of respect still intact.

After we learn the lessons of one level, we move to the next. If we struggle or move on from a stage before we’ve completed it, we simply return to the lesson we need—life pushes us back in the direction of this work.

...But although the rules are vague And widely disregarded now Some precepts remain: live with love - That is a rule we all can understand; Forgive those who need forgiveness, Which I think is everybody, more or less; Be kind - that, perhaps, is first and foremost In any postmodern, new-fangled Code we devise for ourselves; Yes, be kind: love one another, And most of all tend with gentleness The small patch of terra firma That is allocated to each of us...

We must use the time when we are single or take time alone when we are in a couple to understand ourselves, our pleasures, and our values. When we learn to love ourselves, we develop compassion, empathy, and patience. Then we can use those qualities to love someone else. In this way, being alone—not lonely, but comfortable and confident in situations where we make our own choices, follow our own lead, and reflect on our own experience—is the first step in preparing ourselves to love others.

The supporter is an ideal to strive for. Both partners communicate as equals. Your partner is always teaching you, but you are always teaching them. And when you both understand that you’re both teaching and learning at the same time, that’s when you create a partnership.

We acquire skills like compassion, empathy, and patience (Rule 1). This prepares us to share love because we’ll need these qualities when we love someone else. We will also examine our past relationships to avoid making the same mistakes in relationships going forward (Rule 2).

There isn't much left in me at all. Until you. You're the good. Don't take that away from me. I'm thinking my man may be a little slow on the uptake. We're a done deal. We're together. If you mean what you say and I'm important to you, then who I am has to be important. I'm that girl from the swamp without a family, without a parent, or anyone at all. I made my own rules. I can't be anyone else, even for you. You're mine Evangeline. You never have to worry again about anyone leaving you. I love that you're mine. I've never had anything for myself. What if I don' want to do something. Then it isn't done.

Perhaps now I shall one day rise, and be worthy of him who in his life both in peace and in war and in his death on the fields of France has shown me “the way more plain”. At any rate, if ever I do face danger and suffering with some measure of his heroism, it will be because I have learnt through him that love is supreme, that love is stronger than death and the fear of death.’ 8 Fortunately for the mental balance of average mankind, exalted emotions of this type do not as a rule last very long, but before mine relapsed once more into despondency, respite came from an undignified but not altogether unwelcome source.

If you can’t generate a high vibration, it might be because you don’t have any new thoughts to share. You aren’t spending time developing yourself; you aren’t reading or absorbing new art or ideas. You will never be able to reset or refresh a relationship if you keep doing the same old thing over and over again.

Dear Self, We’ve been together since the beginning, and it’s thanks to you that I get to experience this life. You are closer to me than anyone, the only one who knows all that I’ve seen and done. The only one who has wwitnessed the world through my eyes. Who knows my deepest thoughts. My darkest fears. And my biggest dreams. We’ve been through a lot together—everything, in fact. The highest highs, and the lowest lows. You’re wwith me in my greatest moments and the ones I’d like to do over. And no matter what, you’ve always stuck by me. We are true partners—you are the only one about whom I can say wwithout a doubt that we wwill always be together. But in spite of your loyalty, and your caring, I’ve sometimes ignored you. I haven’t always listened when you told me what’s best for me or nudged me in the direction I should go. Instead of looking to you, I looked outwward, at what others were doing or saying. I distracted myself, so I couldn’t hear your voice. Instead of caring for you, I sometimes pushed too hard. And yet you’ve never abandoned me. You’ve always forgiven me. And you’ve always welcomed me home, wwithout judgment or criticism. For all of that, I thank you. Thank you for being gentle wwith me. For being strong. For always being wwilling to learn and grow wwith me through my mistakes, and my triumphs. And for over and over reflecting back to me the best of what is inside me. Thank you for showwing me what unconditional love truly means. Love, Me

In the fourth stage of life, Sannyasa, the goal is simply this: to look beyond the self to how we can serve others. To experience love constantly by choosing to give it to others always. To find love in moments of frustration, annoyance, anger, and dismay, when it seems out of reach. To create more loving connections with every person we meet. To feel love for all humanity. Love means noticing that everyone is worthy of love and treating them with the respect and dignity their humanity automatically makes them deserve.

But the kingdom of God does not consist in the Law; it consists in the Word of the promise. Today it is commonly said: “He loves the Word. He loves the Word of the Gospel, or the ministry.” But in the papal decretals and canons you will not find even a syllable about the Word. They thunder only about the confession of sins, contrition, satisfaction, obedience to the pope, and the observance of monastic rules. But there is the deepest silence concerning the promises. Accordingly, the papal kingdom was a horrible devastation of the church, and even now promise is an unheard-of word to the pope and the cardinals.

97 Oh how  xI love your law! It is my  ymeditation all the day. 98 Your commandment makes me  zwiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. 99 I have more understanding than all my teachers, for  ayour testimonies are my meditation. 100 I understand more than  bthe aged, [8] for I  ckeep your precepts. 101 I  dhold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your word. 102 I do not turn aside from your rules, for you have taught me. 103 How  esweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! 104 Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore  fI hate every false way. Nun 105  gYour word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

RULES TO TEACH YOUR SON 1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down. 2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs. 3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king. 4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer. 5. Request the late check-out. 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard. 8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas. 9. Play with passion or don’t play at all… 10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye. 11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be. 12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point. 13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her. 14. You marry the girl, you marry her family. 15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath. 16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone. 17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room. 18. Never turn down a breath mint. 19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words. 20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising. 21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him. 22. Eat lunch with the new kid. 23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it. 24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win. 25. Manners maketh the man. 26. Give credit. Take the blame. 27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied. 28. Write down your dreams. 29. Take time to snuggle your pets, they love you so much and are always happy to see you. 30. Be confident and humble at the same time. 31. If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary! 32. In all things, give glory to God.

To follow this thought a little further in order that we may get additional light upon it, turn to the letter of Paul to the Php 4:8: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." The Greek word translated "think" here is a word which means "Take an inventory." What are the things of which men, as a rule, take an inventory? Things which they value; and Paul, in writing, is practically saying, "Do not reckon as riches things perishing; but those things which make you rich indeed, the things which are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, take an inventory of these, keep your mind upon them, set a value upon them.

Seek out adventures that aren’t in either of your areas of expertise. You don’t want to attempt a sport where one of you has a natural advantage or to play a game that one of you has played for years. To build intimacy, you want to both be novices so that you feel inexperienced and curious together. You both feel similarly uncomfortable. You’re both going to learn something new. You’re going to need and rely on each other. A challenging hike, a visit to a haunted house, spelunking, roller skating, or (my favorite) an escape room. Intimacy builds as you expose yourselves to each other in a vulnerable moment. Once Radhi and I went to a paint room where they had easels, canvases, brushes, and paints. We were given overalls to wear, and they let us go crazy. It was new and liberating to spray paint wherever we wanted and to create without worrying about the end product.

Ten Rules for the Novelist: 1. The reader is a friend, not an adversary, not a spectator.   2. Fiction that isn’t an author’s personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn’t worth writing for anything but money.   3. Never use the word then as a conjunction—we have and for this purpose. Substituting then is the lazy or tone-deaf writer’s non-solution to the problem of too many ands on the page.   4. Write in third person unless a really distinctive first-person voice offers itself irresistibly.   5. When information becomes free and universally accessible, voluminous research for a novel is devalued along with it.   6. The most purely autobiographical fiction requires pure invention. Nobody ever wrote a more autobiographical story than The Metamorphosis.   7. You see more sitting still than chasing after.   8. It’s doubtful that anyone with an Internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction.   9. Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting. 10. You have to love before you can be relentless.

This week practice peace: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace” (Col. 3:15 NIV). How do you practice peace? How do you let the peace of Christ rule in your heart? I leave you with these instructions given by the apostle Peter: Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, here’s what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth. God looks on all this with approval…but He turns His back on those who do evil things (1 Peter 3:8-12). If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. —Chinese Proverb

Under a Torremolinos Sky (Psalm 116)8 For Jim The first thing I notice is not the bed, oddly angled as all hospital beds are nor the pillowcase, covered in love notes. Not the table filled with pill bottles nor the sterile tools of a dozen indignities. I’ll notice these things later, on my way out perhaps. But first, my wide-angle lens pulls narrow, as eyes meet eyes and I am seen. How is it, before a word is spoken, you make me know I am known and welcome? What can I give back to God for the blessings he’s poured out on me? I’ll lift high the cup of salvation—a toast to God! You smile behind the plastic that keeps you alive, and as I rest my hand on your chest we conspire together to break the rules. The rhythm of your labored breathing will decide our seconds, our minutes, our hours. Tears to laughter and back again always in that order and rightly so. We bask under a Torremolinos sky and hear the tongues of angels sing of sins forgiven long before the world was made. I’ll pray in the name of God; I’ll complete what I promised God I’d do, and I’ll do it together with his people. Talk turns to motorcycles and mortuaries, to scotch and sons who wear their father’s charm like a crown, daughters who quicken the pulse with just a glance. Time flies and neither of us has time to waste. I’ll make a great looking corpse, you say because we of all people must speak of these things, because we of all people refuse to pretend. This doesn’t bring tears—not yet. Instead a giggle, a shared secret that life is and is not in the body. Soul, you’ve been rescued from death; Eye, you’ve been rescued from tears; And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling. Your chest still rises and falls but you grow weary, my hand tells me so. It’s too soon to ever say goodbye. When it’s my turn, brother, I will find you where the streets shimmer and tears herald only joy where we wear our true names and our true faces. Promise me, there, the dance we never had. When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him. Oh, God, here I am, your servant, your faithful servant: set me free for your service! I’m ready to offer the thanksgiving sacrifice and pray in the name of God. I’ll complete what I promised God I’d do, and I’ll do it in company with his people, In the place of worship, in God’s house, in Jerusalem, God’s city.

Anthony Burrow, a professor of human development at Cornell University, led another study that showed a strong sense of purpose can even make us immune to the likes (or lack of likes) we garner on social media. First, he and his research partner had participants fill out a series of questionnaires measuring the degree to which they felt connected to a sense of purpose in life. Then the participants were told they would be helping to test a new social networking site. First they had to start building their profiles by posting a selfie. The researchers gave them a camera, then pretended to upload the image to the fictional website. Then, after five minutes, they told the participants how many likes their selfie had gotten compared with other people’s photos—above average, about the same, or below average. Finally, the participants filled out another questionnaire that measured self-esteem. It turned out that those with less of a sense of purpose in life experienced spikes or drops in their self-esteem based on how many likes their selfie got, or didn’t get, while those with a stronger sense of purpose were relatively unaffected. Their self-esteem held steady.

RESILIENCE QUESTIONNAIRE Please circle the most accurate answer under each statement: 1. I believe that my mother loved me when I was little. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 2. I believe that my father loved me when I was little. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 3. When I was little, other people helped my mother and father take care of me and they seemed to love me. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 4. I’ve heard that when I was an infant someone in my family enjoyed playing with me, and I enjoyed it, too. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 5. When I was a child, there were relatives in my family who made me feel better if I was sad or worried. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 6. When I was a child, neighbors or my friends’ parents seemed to like me. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 7. When I was a child, teachers, coaches, youth leaders, or ministers were there to help me. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 8. Someone in my family cared about how I was doing in school. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 9. My family, neighbors, and friends talked often about making our lives better. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 10. We had rules in our house and were expected to keep them. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 11. When I felt really bad, I could almost always find someone I trusted to talk to. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 12. When I was a youth, people noticed that I was capable and could get things done. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 13. I was independent and a go-getter. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true 14. I believed that life is what you make it. Definitely true Probably true Not sure Probably not true Definitely not true How many of these fourteen protective factors did I have as a child and youth? (How many of the fourteen were circled “Definitely True” or “Probably True”?) _______ Of these circled, how many are still true for me?

So when Jesus directs us to pray, “Thy kingdom come,” he does not mean we should pray for it to come into existence. Rather, we pray for it to take over at all points in the personal, social, and political order where it is now excluded: “On earth as it is in heaven.” With this prayer we are invoking it, as in faith we are acting it, into the real world of our daily existence. Within his overarching dominion God has created us and has given each of us, like him, a range of will—beginning from our minds and bodies and extending outward, ultimately to a point not wholly predetermined but open to the measure of our faith. His intent is for us to learn to mesh our kingdom with the kingdoms of others. Love of neighbor, rightly understood, will make this happen. But we can only love adequately by taking as our primary aim the integration of our rule with God’s. That is why love of neighbor is the second, not the first, commandment and why we are told to seek first the kingdom, or rule, of God. Only as we find that kingdom and settle into it can we human beings all reign, or rule, together with God. We will then enjoy individualized “reigns” with neither isolation nor conflict. This is the ideal of human existence for which secular idealism vainly strives. Small wonder that, as Paul says, “Creation eagerly awaits the revealing of God’s children” (Rom. 8:19).

Nehemiah’s Prayer 4As soon as I heard these words I  i sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the  j God of heaven. 5And I said, “O LORD God of heaven,  k the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, 6 l let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants,  m confessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even  n I and my father’s house have sinned. 7 o We have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules  p that you commanded your servant Moses. 8Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful,  q I will scatter you among the peoples, 9 r but if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them,  s though your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them  t to the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.’ 10 u They are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. 11O Lord,  l let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.

4As soon as I heard these words I  isat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the  jGod of heaven. 5And I said, “O LORD God of heaven,  kthe great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, 6 llet your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants,  mconfessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even  nI and my father’s house have sinned. 7 oWe have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules  pthat you commanded your servant Moses. 8Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful,  qI will scatter you among the peoples, 9 rbut if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them,  sthough your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them  tto the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.’ 10 uThey are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. 11O Lord,  llet your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.” Now I was  vcupbearer to the king.

KEEP YOUR FOCUS ON ME. I have gifted you with amazing freedom, including the ability to choose the focal point of your mind. Only the crown of My creation has such remarkable capability; this is a sign of being made in My image. Let the goal of this day be to bring every thought captive to Me. Whenever your mind wanders, lasso those thoughts and bring them into My Presence. In My radiant Light, anxious thoughts shrink and shrivel away. Judgmental thoughts are unmasked as you bask in My unconditional Love. Confused ideas are untangled while you rest in the simplicity of My Peace. I will guard you and keep you in constant Peace, as you focus your mind on Me. You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. PSALM 8 : 5 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. GENESIS 1 : 26 – 27 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 CORINTHIANS 10 : 5 You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. ISAIAH 26 : 3 (AMP)

Jesus himself remains an enigma. There have been interesting attempts to uncover the figure of the ‘historical’ Jesus, a project that has become something of a scholarly industry. But the fact remains that the only Jesus we really know is the Jesus described in the New Testament, which was not interested in scientifically objective history. There are no other contemporary accounts of his mission and death. We cannot even be certain why he was crucified. The gospel accounts indicate that he was thought to be the king of the Jews. He was said to have predicted the imminent arrival of the kingdom of heaven, but also made it clear that it was not of this world. In the literature of the Late Second Temple period, there had been hints that a few people were expecting a righteous king of the House of David to establish an eternal kingdom, and this idea seems to have become more popular during the tense years leading up to the war. Josephus, Tacitus and Suetonius all note the importance of revolutionary religiosity, both before and after the rebellion.2 There was now keen expectation in some circles of a meshiah (in Greek, christos), an ‘anointed’ king of the House of David, who would redeem Israel. We do not know whether Jesus claimed to be this messiah – the gospels are ambiguous on this point.3 Other people rather than Jesus himself may have made this claim on his behalf.4 But after his death some of his followers had seen him in visions that convinced them that he had been raised from the tomb – an event that heralded the general resurrection of all the righteous when God would inaugurate his rule on earth.5 Jesus and his disciples came from Galilee in northern Palestine. After his death they moved to Jerusalem, probably to be on hand when the kingdom arrived, since all the prophecies declared that the temple would be the pivot of the new world order.6 The leaders of their movement were known as ‘the Twelve’: in the kingdom, they would rule the twelve tribes of the reconstituted Israel.7 The members of the Jesus movement worshipped together every day in the temple,8 but they also met for communal meals, in which they affirmed their faith in the kingdom’s imminent arrival.9 They continued to live as devout, orthodox Jews. Like the Essenes, they had no private property, shared their goods equally, and dedicated their lives to the last days.10 It seems that Jesus had recommended voluntary poverty and special care for the poor; that loyalty to the group was to be valued more than family ties; and that evil should be met with non-violence and love.11 Christians should pay their taxes, respect the Roman authorities, and must not even contemplate armed struggle.12 Jesus’s followers continued to revere the Torah,13 keep the Sabbath,14 and the observance of the dietary laws was a matter of extreme importance to them.15 Like the great Pharisee Hillel, Jesus’s older contemporary, they taught a version of the Golden Rule, which they believed to be the bedrock of the Jewish faith: ‘So always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that is the message of the Law and the Prophets.

And happily we cannot always understand! Otherwise, how would it be possible to allow the Wisdom of God to freely work according to His designs? Where would there be room for confidence? It is true that for many things we would not act as God would act! We would not have chosen the folly of the cross as a means of redemption! But fortunately it is the Wisdom of God and not ours that rules all things, because it is infinitely more powerful and more loving and, above all, more merciful than ours. While the Wisdom of God is incomprehensible in its ways, in the sometimes baffling manner in which it acts in us, then let us say that the Wisdom of God will also be incomprehensible in those things that it prepares for those who put their hope in it. For that which it prepares surpasses infinitely in glory and beauty that which we can imagine or conceive: What eye has not seen nor ear heard, what the human heart has not conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him, this God has revealed to us through His Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:9). The wisdom of man can only produce works on a human level. Only the Wisdom of God can realize things divine, and it is to divine heights that it destines us. This is consequently what must be our strength when faced with the question of evil: not a philosophical response, but the confidence of a child in God, in His Love and in His Wisdom. The certitude that Now we know that God works in every way for the good of those who love Him and are called in accordance with His plan (Romans 8:28) and the sufferings of the present time simply don’t compare with the glory to come that will be revealed to us (Romans 8:18).

THE OBEDIENCE GAME DUGGAR KIDS GROW UP playing the Obedience Game. It’s sort of like Mother May I? except it has a few extra twists—and there’s no need to double-check with “Mother” because she (or Dad) is the one giving the orders. It’s one way Mom and Dad help the little kids in the family burn off extra energy some nights before we all put on our pajamas and gather for Bible time (more about that in chapter 8). To play the Obedience Game, the little kids all gather in the living room. After listening carefully to Mom’s or Dad’s instructions, they respond with “Yes, ma’am, I’d be happy to!” then run and quickly accomplish the tasks. For example, Mom might say, “Jennifer, go upstairs to the girls’ room, touch the foot of your bed, then come back downstairs and give Mom a high-five.” Jennifer answers with an energetic “Yes, ma’am, I’d be happy to!” and off she goes. Dad might say, “Johannah, run around the kitchen table three times, then touch the front doorknob and come back.” As Johannah stands up she says, “Yes, sir, I’d be happy to!” “Jackson, go touch the front door, then touch the back door, then touch the side door, and then come back.” Jackson, who loves to play army, stands at attention, then salutes and replies, “Yes, sir, I’d be happy to!” as he goes to complete his assignment at lightning speed. Sometimes spotters are sent along with the game player to make sure the directions are followed exactly. And of course, the faster the orders can be followed, the more applause the contestant gets when he or she slides back into the living room, out of breath and pleased with himself or herself for having complied flawlessly. All the younger Duggar kids love to play this game; it’s a way to make practicing obedience fun! THE FOUR POINTS OF OBEDIENCE THE GAME’S RULES (MADE up by our family) stem from our study of the four points of obedience, which Mom taught us when we were young. As a matter of fact, as we are writing this book she is currently teaching these points to our youngest siblings. Obedience must be: 1. Instant. We answer with an immediate, prompt “Yes ma’am!” or “Yes sir!” as we set out to obey. (This response is important to let the authority know you heard what he or she asked you to do and that you are going to get it done as soon as possible.) Delayed obedience is really disobedience. 2. Cheerful. No grumbling or complaining. Instead, we respond with a cheerful “I’d be happy to!” 3. Thorough. We do our best, complete the task as explained, and leave nothing out. No lazy shortcuts! 4. Unconditional. No excuses. No, “That’s not my job!” or “Can’t someone else do it? or “But . . .” THE HIDDEN GOAL WITH this fun, fast-paced game is that kids won’t need to be told more than once to do something. Mom would explain the deeper reason behind why she and Daddy desired for us to learn obedience. “Mom and Daddy won’t always be with you, but God will,” she says. “As we teach you to hear and obey our voice now, our prayer is that ultimately you will learn to hear and obey what God’s tells you to do through His Word.” In many families it seems that many of the goals of child training have been lost. Parents often expect their children to know what they should say and do, and then they’re shocked and react harshly when their sweet little two-year-old throws a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. This parental attitude probably stems from the belief that we are all born basically good deep down inside, but the truth is, we are all born with a sin nature. Think about it: You don’t have to teach a child to hit, scream, whine, disobey, or be selfish. It comes naturally. The Bible says that parents are to “train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

n 1985, Bob Munro volunteered his time to go and serve in the poorest slums of Africa on behalf of the United Nations. He loved football. One day, he was passing through the Mathare slums in Nairobi, Kenya, which happens to be one of the poorest areas in the world, and where more than a quarter million people live in abject poverty and filth. He saw some children playing football, bare feet, in total grime— they weren’t actually playing football, but kicking each other. As he saw one of the children kick the other, he immediately shouted, ‘Foul’, and the game stopped. He got out of his car and being the white man, obviously stood out. As an ardent lover of football, he said, ‘This is not the way to play football.’ He took the ball and told the boys, ‘Tomorrow I will bring another ball and teach you how to play football.’ The next day, 600 children were there to play football. He made a rule that only those children who clean up the place be allowed to play. He started a volunteers’ group for self-help and said, ‘Those who want to play football as part of my team must clean up.’ The children got involved and started cleaning the slums, and out of love for football, slowly the entire area was cleaned. As time went by, he developed teams to play. He developed referees from within. Guess what was the result in four years? The Kenyan football eleven national team emerged from the same Mathare slums. Bob Munro has created thousands of football teams from there, but the rules are very unique. The rules are very clear that every player in those football teams must contribute 60 hours to social work and community service per month. Only then can they play football. They get additional points not for winning a game, but for completing a community service project such as cleaning, counselling and helping others. He has created 8,000 volunteers out of this system of community service through the love of football.

8:00am The sun is shining, the cows are mooing, and I am ready for the mines. I hope I find something awesome today. Steve has told me about some pretty crazy things I had no idea existed. According to him, I must find empty tombs in the desert. That’s where the real treasures are. For today, I will stick to regular mining. Who knows, maybe I will come across an abandoned mine shaft; could be my lucky day.   12:30pm I was forced to come home for lunch today because I had too much stuff to carry. I was getting low on my iron ore, gold, and lapis lazuli stocks before this mine trip. It’s amazing how quick lapis goes when you are busy enchanting everything but the kitchen sink. I’d enchant that too if I had one. I wonder what an enchanted kitchen sink would do. Would it do my dishes for me? That would be so cool.   I have plenty of both now. I can make some new armor and enchant it! I love mining.   Steve decided to join me for lunch and we ate a couple of pork chops and some cake. I love cake! We ate until no more food could fill us up. Then, Steve had the guts to brag about how, when he mines, he takes a horse with extra storage so he can stay down there all day long. Well fancy you, Steve.   He also went on to tell me about how well the crops are doing these days. He thinks it’s because he is looking after them half of the time. What he doesn’t know is I throw bone marrow on them when I am working. Makes my job faster and gives me more free time so whatever you need to tell yourself, Steve.   Life may be easier switching every day between mines and farming, but it still doesn’t make me his biggest fan. I just don’t think he needs to fall in a hole, either. At least… Not right now. I would consider us to be frienemies; Friendly enemies. Yes. At times we pretend to get along, but most of the time, we are happiest doing our own thing.   6:00pm Mining this afternoon was super fun… Not! I got attacked by a partially hidden skeleton guy. I couldn’t see him enough to strike back until half of my life hearts were gone. I must not have made the space bright enough. Those guys are nasty. They are hard to kill too. If you don’t have a bow and arrow you might as well surrender. Plus, they kind of smell like death. Yuck.   Note to self: Bring more torches on the next mining day.   On the other hand, I came back with an overshare of Redstone, too much iron for my own good, and oddly, quite a few diamonds. I won’t be sharing the diamonds with anyone. They are far too precious. They will go to some new diamond pickaxes, and maybe some armor. Hmm, I could enchant those too! The iron and Redstone though, I am thinking a trip to the village may be in order. See what those up-tight weirdos are willing to trade me.   For now, it’s bedtime.   6:10pm You can only sleep at night. You can only sleep at night. You can only sleep at night.   6:11pm That stupid rule gets me every time. Why can’t I decide when it’s bed time?   First, I will go eat a cookie, then I will go to sleep. Day Thirty-Three   3:00am I just dreamt that our world was made of cookies.

Not long ago, after I had spoken on the subject of biblical worship at a large metropolitan church, one of the elders wrote to me to ask how I would try to get across my main points to children (fourth to sixth graders, approximately ages ten to twelve). He was referring in particular to things I had said about Romans 12:1–2. I responded by saying that kids of that age do not absorb abstract ideas very easily unless they are lived out and identified. The Christian home, or the Christian parent who obviously delights in corporate worship, in thoughtful evangelism, in self-effacing and self-sacrificing decisions within the home, in sacrificial giving for the poor and the needy and the lost—and who then explains to the child that these decisions and actions are part of gratitude and worship to the sovereign God who has loved us so much that he gave his own Son to pay the price of our sin—will have far more impact on the child’s notion of genuine worship than all the lecturing and classroom instruction in the world. Somewhere along the line it is important not only to explain that genuine worship is nothing more than loving God with heart and soul and mind and strength and loving our neighbors as ourselves, but also to show what a statement like that means in the concrete decisions of life. How utterly different will that child’s thinking be than that of the child who is reared in a home where secularism rules all week but where people go to church on Sunday to “worship” for half an hour before the sermon. “Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts” (Ps 95:6–8).

In 2008, Donald Trump published a book with Meredith McIver titled Never Give Up. In it he compiled what he labeled his “Top 10 List for Success.” The items on his list are so close to Peale’s prescriptions that it worth listing them as they are deeply built into Trump’s self-psychology. Despite being written over ten years ago, one can see all these elements of Trump’s current rhetoric and conduct. Trump’s ten rules include: 1. Never give up! Do not settle for remaining in your comfort zone. Remaining complacent is a good way to get nowhere. 2. Be passionate! If you love what you’re doing, it will never seem like work. 3. Be focused! Ask yourself: What should I be thinking about right now? Shut out interference. In this age of multitasking, this is a valuable technique to acquire. 4. Keep your momentum! Listen, apply, and move forward. Do not procrastinate. 5. See yourself as victorious! That will focus you in the right direction. 6. Be tenacious! Being stubborn can work wonders. 7. Be lucky! The old saying: ‘The harder I work, the luckier I get’ is absolutely right on. 8. Believe in yourself! If you don’t, no one else will either. Think of yourself as a one-man army. 9. Ask yourself: What am I pretending not to see? There may be some great opportunities right around you, even if things aren’t looking so great. Great adversity can turn into a great victory. 10. Look at the solution, not the problem. And never give up! Never, never, never give up.

Ten best quotes of the book, “Miracles Through My Eyes” "Miracles Through My Eyes " by Dinesh Sahay Author- Mentor {This book was published on 23rd October in 2019) 1. “God is always there to fulfil each demand, prayer or wish provided you have intent; unshaken trust in Him, determination and action on the ground, and when this entire manifest in one’s life, then it becomes a miracle of life. Nothing moves without His grace. It comes when you are on the right path without selfish motives but will never happen when done for selfish and destructive motives”. 2. “All diseases are self-creation and they come due to some cause and it transforms into a disease by virtue of wrong thinking, wrong actions which are against nature, the universe and God. When you disobey the rules set by God. All misfortunes, accidents, deceases, and even death are the creation of negative, bad thoughts, spoken words and actions of man himself, at some stage of his life. All good events in life are also the creation of man through his good and positive thoughts at various stages of his life”. 3. “The biggest investments lie not in the savings and creation of wealth with selfish motives. Though you may find success this prosperity shall not be long lasting and at a later stage, the money and wealth may be lost slowly in many unfortunate ways”. 4. “If you want to have a successful life with ease and at the same time want abundance and wealth then my friend, you must care for others. You must start your all efforts to help by means of tithing, charity, service to mankind in any form, and help poor, helpless, needy and underprivileged.” 5. “The largest investment for a person (which is time tested by many rich personalities) shall be to give 10% of your monthly income for the charitable cause each month if you are a salaried class, and if you are a businessman or a company, then you must contribute 10% annually for charitable cause”. 6. “Nature is giving signals to the mankind that they are moving near to destruction of this earth as it’s a cause and effect of man-made destruction of earth and with all sins, hate, untruthfulness and violence it carried throughout the centuries and acted against the principals of the universe and nature. Those connected to the divine may escape from the clutches of death and destruction of the earth. We have witnessed many major catastrophes in the form of Tsunami’s, earthquakes, Tornado’s, Global warming and volcanic eruptions and the world is moving towards it further major happenings in times to come”. 7. “Let us pray for peace and harmony for all humanity and make this world a better place to live by our actions of love, compassion, truthfulness, non-violence, end of terrorism and peace on earth with no wars with any country. Let there will be single governance in the world, the governance of one religion, the religion of love, peace, prosperity and healthy living to all”. 8.” Forgive all the people who often unreasonable, self-centred or accuse you of selfish and forget the all that is said about you. It is your own inner reflection which you see in the outer world. 9. “Thought has a tremendous vibratory force which moves with limitless speed and, makes all creations in man’s life. Each thought vibrates to the frequency with which it was created by a person, whether that was good or bad, travels accordingly through the conscious and subconscious mind in space and the universe. It vibrates with time and energy to produces manifestation in the spiritual and materialistic world of man or woman or matter (thing), in form of events, happenings and creativity”.

Sammy, that is my exact definition of family. An odd group of weirdos that are always in your corner.

We live in a world where we see keeping secrets as deceitful—a lie that we tell to make ourselves look better than we are. But in reality, we usually keep secrets out of fear and shame.

The fourth ashram, Sannyasa, is when we extend our love to each and every person and area of our life. In this stage our love becomes boundless. We realize we can experience love at any time with anyone. We feel karuna, compassion for all living entities. All of these stages can all be lived simultaneously, but this fourth stage is the highest expression of love.

When we expand our radius of love, we have the opportunity to experience love every day, at every moment.

Loving those around us teaches us to love each living entity, and loving everyone teaches us to love the world around us—the place they call home. And if we love the environment, then we love its creator, the divine, a power beyond ourselves.

When you accept who you are and what you want, you’re less likely to be triggered by someone else’s opinion of you or perception of your ideas. When we broaden our scope of love, we’re not excluding people for what they do or how they act (unless they are abusive). We love them because we want to be loving people. If you like a clean house, you keep it clean whether you have guests or not—it makes it a more pleasant place for you to live. The same is true when you create a loving environment in your heart. You do it for yourself, no matter who receives or returns it. You don’t mess your house up if someone messy comes in. You don’t fill your heart with hate because someone hateful enters your radius. You want to live in a house of love.

Love Those Closest to You

Meet people with love even when they don’t meet you with love. A sannyasi offers love to everyone the same way a doctor tries to heal people on both sides of a fight, no matter who started it. Don’t compromise your values, and don’t accept abuse, but stretch your capacity to give love.

When we encounter someone whom we find difficult to be around, the first step toward loving them is to understand what, if anything, our reaction to them reveals about ourselves. Is it our own insecurity? Is it our ego? Is it fear?

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

We can't know where and when we'll find love, but we can preapre for it and practice what we've learned when we find it.

When you come to a relationship as a whole person, without looking for someone to complete you or to be your better half, you can truly connect and love. You know how you like to spend your time, what’s important to you, and how you’d like to grow. You have the self-control to wait for someone you can be happy with and the patience to appreciate someone you’re already with. You realize that you can bring value to someone else’s life. With this foundation, you’re ready to give love without neediness or fear.

You want to go on a journey with someone, not to make them your journey.

This stage of life is designed to help us learn how to love ourselves. But if you don’t learn the lessons of the first ashram of love, then you won’t know how lovable you are and what you have to offer. This is an everyday practice of preparing ourselves to be in a relationship while staying true to who we are. It is one of the hardest rules in this book, and the most important.

Karma is the law of cause and effect. Every action produces a reaction. In other words, your current decisions, good and bad, determine your future experience.

the gifts our parents give us can create as many pitfalls as the gaps. If there is a gap in how our parents raised us, we look to others to fill it. And if there is a gift in how our parents raised us, we look to others to give us the same.

We first seek validation from those closest to us. Then, unsatisfied, we look for it from everyone. And finally, we find it in ourselves. It was the gap that my parents created that eventually taught me this lesson. I had to be happy with myself.

Vedic teachings say that there are three levels of intelligence. In the first level, when someone tells you the fire will burn you, you listen and learn and never touch fire. In the second level, you experience it for yourself. You touch fire, it burns you, and you learn not to touch fire again. In the third level, you keep burning yourself, but you never learn. If we don’t heed our karma, we’re stuck in the third level of intelligence, and we bear the scars. We forget that what we experienced in the past holds information about how we’ll feel if we do it again.

A committed romantic relationship highlights this awe and respect in a different way because there isn’t one guru and one student. You are both gurus and students for each other.

As a guru, we think about how our actions impact our partner. A guru offers guidance without judgment, wisdom without ego, love without expectation. Being a guru for your partner doesn’t mean imparting wisdom to them (that sounds unpleasant, at best), but it does require patience, understanding, curiosity, creativity, and self-control.

You can’t put in effort and expect an immediate, guaranteed reward. What you invest will have to be heartfelt and true, and what you receive will be illuminating.

One of the guru qualities that Kripamoya das lists is dambha asuyadhi muktam, which means “exhibits no inauspicious characteristics such as egoism or jealousy.

My guru at the ashram said that if a teacher was a ten out of ten, then the student might only be a one out of ten because the teacher would constantly uplift them. But if the teacher was a one out of ten, the student would have to rise to be a ten out of ten in order to learn from the teacher. In other words, if you approach your studies diligently enough, with an open mind and heart, you can learn even more from a mediocre teacher than you might from a great one.

Seek first to understand” involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives.

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. —DAVID VISCOTT

if your partner can bear to watch you give up your purpose, that’s not love. Your purpose has to come first for you, and your partner’s purpose has to come first for them. Then you come together with the positive energy and stability that come from pursuing your purposes.

If you want to truly love someone and give them your best self, then you have to be your best self.

A mentor will help you form a vision of how you can start to pursue your purpose and what your life might look like as you continue to live in your purpose. The mentor can also give you concrete advice as first steps you can take, how you can network, and where else you can turn to learn more.

A good teacher will assess the class before teaching. A good student will understand before he applies.

Two of the key skills we learn in solitude are self-control and patience. They're connected, because the mode we improve our self-control, the more patient we can be. Without these two skills we become prone to following our senses and whatever attracts us.

In this way, being alone—not lonely, but comfortable and confident in situations where we make our own choices, follow our own lead, and reflect on our own experience—is the first step in preparing ourselves to love others.

There is nothing wrong with attraction, but we are easily carried away by what looks appealing, feels good, or sounds right. In solutude we learn to create space between sensory stimulation and decision-making.

The best thing for your nervous system is another human. The worst thing for your nervous system is another human." Synching with other people can log us in to their bad vibes as well as their good ones. this is why we need to self-regulate, comforting ourselves, calming ourselves down, or pepping ourselves up. If we're always turning toward others to help us tune how we feel, we'll stay more like that infant who is incapable of self-soothing and self-supporting.

People determine how to treat us in large part by observing how we treat ourselves. The way you speak about yourself affects how people will speak with you. the way you allow yourself to be spoken to reinforces what people think you deserve.

Other people can help you, but if you're not trying to understand yourself, nobody else can do it for you.

Blood // Water - Grandson Evil - 8 Graves 11 Minutes - Yungblud Ft. Halsey & Travis Barker Hate The Way - G-Eazy Ft. Blackbear Control - Halsey Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz You Should See Me In A Crown - Billie Eilish Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde Courage To Change - Sia You Broke Me First - Tate McRae Yellow Flicker Beat - Lorde Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson Wicked Game - Daisy Gray Nobody’s Home - Avril Lavigne Stand By Me - Ki: Theory Paparazzi - Kim Dracula Bringing Me Down - Ki: Theory Ft. Ruelle Therefore I am - Billie Eilish I see Red - Everybody Love An Outlaw In The Air Tonight - Nonpoint Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson Saviour - Daisy Gray I Put A Spell On You - Annie Lennox Heaven Julia Michaels Heart Attack - Demi Lovato Dynasty - MIIa Weak - AJR Redemption - Besomorph & Coopex & RIELL Legends Never Die - League of Legends Ft. Against the Current Time - NF Rumors - NEFFEX

Blood // Water - Grandson Evil - 8 Graves 11 Minutes - Yungblud Ft. Halsey & Travis Barker Hate The Way - G-Eazy Feat Blackbear Control - Halsey Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz You Should See Me In A Crown - Billie Eilish Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde Courage To Change - Sia You Broke Me First - Tate McRae Yellow Flicker Beat - Lorde Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson Wicked Game - Daisy Gray Nobody’s Home - Avril Lavigne Stand By Me - Ki: Theory Paparazzi - Kim Dracula Bringing Me Down - Ki: Theory (feat. Ruelle) Therefore I am - Billie Eilish I see Red - Everybody Love An Outlaw In The Air Tonight - Nonpoint Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson Saviour - Daisy Gray I Put A Spell On You - Annie Lennox Heaven Julia Michaels Heart Attack - Demi Lovato Dynasty - Mia Weak - AJR Redemption - Besomorph & Coopex & RIELL Legends Never Die - League of Legends & Against the Current Time - NF Rumors - NEFFEX

The ancient Greeks said there were seven basic types of love: Eros, which is sexual or passionate love; Philia, or friendship; Storge, or familial love; Agape, which is universal love; Ludus, which is casual or noncommittal love; Pragma, which is based on duty or other interests; and Philautia, which is self-love.

What is the difference between like and love?" asks a student. The teacher responds, "When you like a flower, you pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it daily.

The free society is characterized by the radical decentralization of all kinds of power. Confederal structures do not rule over communities; they are the means by which communities cooperate.

For it is an infallible rule of the kingdom that self-focus issues in death, while "whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it" (8:35). Only for a few will this commitment entail loss of physical life; for all of us it means death to self, discipleship to Jesus. And that includes a glad confession of Jesus, and principled refusal to be ashamed of Jesus and his words in this adulterous and sinful generation (8:38).

When we practice love and gratitude for ourselves, we nourish the soil in which love is rooted, and from which love in its many forms will grow and blossom.

How you handle your differences is more important than finding your similarities.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs from 1943). These six needs are: Certainty – the need to feel safe and in control Variety – the enjoyment of some surprises Significance – the need to feel important, special, unique or needed Love and connection – to give and receive love Growth – if you are not growing, you are dying Contribution – meaning comes from what you give, not what you get; as Robbins says, ‘living is giving’.

You might change and grow together, mixing your karmas, mixing the energy of two families and two communities, but don't lose your identity. Remember your own personality, values and goals. Don't lose the thread of your own story. Spend time in solitude. Don't cancel plans with friends and family. Pursue your own interests, not just your partner's. This is not slighting, ignoring, or betraying your partner. It's fueling your growth in ways that they can't, which means you'll have even more to offer them. And if you have no more growing left to do together, you can take time apart. That's okay.

Life Formulas I (2008) These are notes to myself. Your frame of reference, and therefore your calculations, may vary. These are not definitions—these are algorithms for success. Contributions are welcome. Happiness = Health + Wealth + Good Relationships Health = Exercise + Diet + Sleep Exercise = High Intensity Resistance Training + Sports + Rest Diet = Natural Foods + Intermittent Fasting + Plants Sleep = No alarms + 8–9 hours + Circadian rhythms Wealth = Income + Wealth * (Return on Investment) Income = Accountability + Leverage + Specific Knowledge Accountability = Personal Branding + Personal Platform + Taking Risk? Leverage = Capital + People + Intellectual Property Specific Knowledge = Knowing how to do something society cannot yet easily train other people to do Return on Investment = “Buy-and-Hold” + Valuation + Margin of Safety [72] Naval’s Rules (2016) Be present above all else. Desire is suffering. (Buddha) Anger is a hot coal you hold in your hand while waiting to throw it at someone else. (Buddha) If you can’t see yourself working with someone for life, don’t work with them for a day. Reading (learning) is the ultimate meta-skill and can be traded for anything else. All the real benefits in life come from compound interest. Earn with your mind, not your time. 99 percent of all effort is wasted. Total honesty at all times. It’s almost always possible to be honest and positive. Praise specifically, criticize generally. (Warren Buffett) Truth is that which has predictive power. Watch every thought. (Ask “Why am I having this thought?”) All greatness comes from suffering. Love is given, not received. Enlightenment is the space between your thoughts. (Eckhart Tolle) Mathematics is the language of nature.

General Wolf Rules for Life 1. Eat 2. Rest 3. Rove in between 4. Render loyalty 5. Love the children 6. Cavil in moonlight 7. Tune your ears 8. Attend to the bones 9. Make love 10. Howl often

On one of those nights in January 2014, we sat next to each other in Maria Vostra, happy and content, smoking nice greens, with one of my favorite movies playing on the large flat-screen TVs: Once Upon a Time in America. I took a picture of James Woods and Robert De Niro on the TV screen in Maria Vostra's cozy corner, which I loved to share with Martina. They were both wearing hats and suits, standing next to each other. Robert de Niro looked a bit like me and his character, Noodles, (who was a goy kid in the beginning of the movie, growing up with Jewish kids) on the picture, was as naive as I was. I just realized that James Woods—who plays an evil Jewish guy in the movie, acting like Noodles' friend all along, yet taking his money, his woman, taking away his life, and trying to kill him at one point—until the point that Noodles has to escape to save his life and his beloved ones—looks almost exactly like Adam would look like if he was a bit older. “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts.” – William Shakespeare That sounds like an ancient spell or rather directions, instructions to me, the director instructing his actors, being one of the actors himself as well, an ancient spell, that William Shakespeare must have read it from a secret book or must have heard it somewhere. Casting characters for certain roles to act like this or like that as if they were the director’s custom made monsters. The extensions of his own will, desires and actions. The Reconquista was a centuries-long series of battles by Christian states to expel the Muslims (Moors), who had ruled most of the Iberian Peninsula since the 8th century. The Reconquista ended on January 2, 1492. The same year Columbus, whose statue stands atop a Corinthian custom-made column down the Port at the bottom of the Rambla, pointing with his finger toward the West, had discovered America on October 12, 1492. William Shakespeare was born in April 1564. He had access to knowledge that had been unavailable to white people for thousands of years. He must have formed a close relationship with someone of royal lineage, or used trick, who then permitted him to enter the secret library of the Anglican Church. “A character has to be ignorant of the future, unsure about the past, and not at all sure what he/she’s supposed to be doing.” – Anthony Burgess Martina proudly shared with me her admiration for the Argentine author Julio Cortazar, who was renowned across South America. She quoted one of his famous lines, saying: “Vida es como una cebolla, hay que pelarla llorando,” which translates to “Life is like an onion, you have to peel it crying.” Martina shared with me her observation that the sky in Europe felt lower compared to America. She mentioned that the clouds appeared larger in America, giving a sense of a higher and more expansive sky, while in Europe, it felt like the sky had a lower and more limiting ceiling. “The skies are much higher in Argentina, Tomas, in all America. Here in Europe the sky is so low. In Argentina there are huge clouds and the sky is huge, Tomas.” – Martina Blaterare “It was curious to think that the sky was the same for everybody, in Eurasia or Eastasia as well as here. And the people under the sky were also very much the same--everywhere, all over the world, hundreds or thousands of millions of people just like this, people ignorant of one another’s existence, held apart by walls of hatred and lies, and yet almost exactly the same--people who had never learned to think but were storing up in their hearts and bellies and muscles the power that would one day overturn the world.” – George Orwell, 1984

Why wait for someone else to make you feel good? And that’s why it’s so deeply important that we heal ourselves, taking charge of that process instead of shifting blame and responsibility to a partner. If we’re trying to fill an old void, we’ll choose the wrong partner. A partner can’t fill every gap. They can’t unpack our emotional baggage for us. Once we fulfill our own needs, we’re in a better place to see what a relationship can give us.

The senses are so strong and impetuous, O Arjuna, that they forcibly carry away the mind even of a man of discrimination who is endeavoring to control them.” In other words, if we’re not careful, we can be attracted to something superficial or inauthentic.

If we are constantly looking for love or constantly focused on our partner, we’ll be distracted from the vital work of understanding ourselves. If we don’t understand ourselves, we risk taking on the tastes and values of our partner.

Solitude helps you recognize that there is a you before, a you during, and a you after every relationship, forging your own way even when you have company and love.

when you’re dealing with crocodiles, you should leave your heart at home. You can’t always be vulnerable. Sometimes it will be used against you.

We think of love as reciprocal, but sannyasis love without reciprocation. We must hold on to our loving hearts, the essence of who we are, even in a workplace full of crocodiles. We try to be compassionate to those who have hurt us. We give the best energy we can under the circumstances and get on with our lives. At the same time, we make sure that we ourselves are not the crocodile because what we become at work bleeds into who we are at home. If you can’t be the sannyasi you want to be at work, make sure that you strive to give love in your personal life.

We serve in goodness when we don’t want recognition or an outcome—we just want to show pure love.

It’s only one fish to you,” my teacher said, “But to that fish, it is everything.

The Ten Commandments As Interpreted by Robin Palmetier 1. Don’t lie. Unless it’s to the police. 2. Don’t cheat your customers. Robin always made sure her dime bags were just a bit larger than any other dealers’ in the area, insuring loyalty in her clientele. 3. Always be polite. Especially to people who don’t like you, as it will piss them off. 4. Don’t steal from anyone. Anyone meaning people, leaving corporations and the IRS fair game. 5. Don’t kill. This one was also on the Bible’s list but, like many Christians, Robin had a long list of exceptions to this rule. It was okay to kill sexual predators (unless they were born-again while serving time), liberal commentators, and anyone described as a "bad guy" by the greatest journalist and political leader of all time, Box News commentator Malcolm Wright. Unless, of course, Mr. Wright happened to be talking about one of her personal friends, which, on occasion, he had. 6. Do not take the Lord’s name in vein. Shit, fuck, cock, pussy, bitch, bastard and their ilk were just fine. Goddamn’s and Jesus Christ’s were no-no’s. 7. Always repay a favor with a favor. Someone does something nice for you, do something nice right back. Being in someone’s debt is a dangerous thing. 8. Affirm that every word in the Bible is true, except the parts that clearly aren’t. Like that thing about eating shellfish—though supposedly an abomination on par with adultery, murder, poly-cotton blends and paying interest on a mortgage—it could not possibly be God’s will. Robin loved scallops and knew the good Lord would not wish to deny her this pleasure. 9. Discuss all decisions with God directly and listen closely to his advice. Sadly, when Praline tried this himself he got nothing but an extended silence, while his mother always seemed to get very detailed instructions. 10. Always remember your mama loves you.

You, my God, have put Your words in my mouth and covered me with the shadow of Your hand—You who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, “You are my people.” (Isa. 51:16) You, my Father, are the One who forms the mountain, creates the wind, and reveals His thoughts to man. You are the One who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth—the Lord God Almighty is Your Name! (Amos 4:13) This is what You, the Lord my God, say—You who created the heavens, You are God; You who fashioned and made the earth, You founded it; You did not create it to be empty, but formed it to be inhabited—You say: “I am the Lord, and there is no other.” (Isa. 45:18) O, Lord, You rule forever by Your power, Your eyes watch the nations—let not the rebellious rise up against You. (Ps. 66:7) The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” (Ps. 14:1) Lord, I acknowledge that You are the “I AM.” This is Your name forever, the name by which You are to be remembered from generation to generation. (Exod. 3:14–15) O, Lord my God, help me never to worship any other god, for You, my Lord, are a jealous God. (Exod. 20:4–5) You, my Lord, are a warrior; the Lord is Your name. (Exod. 15:3) My Father, You are the Lord; that is Your name! You will not give Your glory to another or Your praise to idols. (Isa. 42:8) My Father, help me to know that the Lord my God is God; You are the faithful God, keeping Your covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love You and keep Your commands. (Deut. 7:9) You, my God, are the Rock. Your works are perfect, and all Your ways are just. You are a faithful God who does no wrong. You are upright and just. (Deut. 32:4)

So, leveraging Jesus’ teaching on love, Paul gives us the grown-up version of what love really is. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 CORINTHIANS 13:4 – 8)

Now Samuel was a very successful judge. In 1 Samuel 3:19–20 it is said of him, “The Lord was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the Lord” (NIV). Yet, Samuel watched the nation that he loved and led turn from the purposes of God. As God’s chosen people, the Israelites were never meant to have a king; God was to be their king. But because Samuel failed to rear his sons in the fear of the Lord, Israel rejected the rule of God over them. In 1 Samuel 8:1–5 we read, And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons judges over Israel. Now the name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judging in Beersheba. His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice. Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah; and they said to him, “Behold, you have grown old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint a king for us to judge us like all the nations.

God’s Word   “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.” Joshua 1:8   Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the Book of Joshua. This verse is especially important because You are telling us how important it is not to forget You. Lord so many times Your people disappointed You by taking Your love and forgetting it. So many times You showed Your people miracles and they forgot and got distracted with other people in the world who were worshipping statues and engraved images. Lord help me keep Your rules at the front of my mind so You stay full in my heart.   Lord in these times thousands of years later the same problems are all around me. Now everyone gets tattoos of images of worship so they can be worshipped. So many people are distracted by music, drugs and being popular that it shows me that it is all a false god and leads to destruction. Lord help me be an example for many that Your laws are meant for good. Lord help me be an example that praising You is courageous in a world so full of pressure to be popular. Lord help me be an example that being who You want me to be is all that matters, in Jesus name, amen.   “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness.” Joshua 24:14   Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You that I understand that to fear You is wisdom. Lord I now know that You don’t force Yourself on anyone but that You do demand that I chose to either honor You or dishonor You.   Lord to fear You is to have respect for You as my creator. Lord when I remind myself every moment that You are the LORD, and that I am to be Your faithful servant, I know that I am protected and blessed. Lord

Song of songs 8:6-7 6Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. 7Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

The radicals put so much value in their beliefs, but they forgot the golden rule about treating others the way you want to be treated. Or perhaps they never knew that rule at all. I

Men put God out of their knowledge and worshiped the creatures of their own imagination; and as the result, they became more and more debased. The psalmist describes the effect produced upon the worshiper by the adoration of idols. He says, “They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them.” Psalm 115:8. It is a law of the human mind that by beholding we become changed. Man will rise no higher than his conceptions of truth, purity, and holiness. If the mind is never exalted above the level of humanity, if it is not uplifted by faith to contemplate infinite wisdom and love, the man will be constantly sinking lower and lower. The worshipers of false gods clothed their deities with human attributes and passions, and thus their standard of character was degraded to the likeness of sinful humanity. They were defiled in consequence. “God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.... The earth also was corrupt before God; and the earth was filled with violence.” God had given men his commandments as a rule of life, but his law was transgressed, and every conceivable sin was the result. The wickedness of men was open and daring, justice was trampled in the dust, and the cries of the oppressed reached unto heaven.

The ten rules of ikigai We’ll conclude this journey with ten rules we’ve distilled from the wisdom of the long-living residents of Ogimi: 1. Stay active; don’t retire. Those who give up the things they love doing and do well lose their purpose in life. That’s why it’s so important to keep doing things of value, making progress, bringing beauty or utility to others, helping out, and shaping the world around you, even after your “official” professional activity has ended. 2. Take it slow. Being in a hurry is inversely proportional to quality of life. As the old saying goes, “Walk slowly and you’ll go far.” When we leave urgency behind, life and time take on new meaning. 3. Don’t fill your stomach. Less is more when it comes to eating for long life, too. According to the 80 percent rule, in order to stay healthier longer, we should eat a little less than our hunger demands instead of stuffing ourselves. 4. Surround yourself with good friends. Friends are the best medicine, there for confiding worries over a good chat, sharing stories that brighten your day, getting advice, having fun, dreaming … in other words, living. 5. Get in shape for your next birthday. Water moves; it is at its best when it flows fresh and doesn’t stagnate. The body you move through life in needs a bit of daily maintenance to keep it running for a long time. Plus, exercise releases hormones that make us feel happy. 6. Smile. A cheerful attitude is not only relaxing—it also helps make friends. It’s good to recognize the things that aren’t so great, but we should never forget what a privilege it is to be in the here and now in a world so full of possibilities. 7. Reconnect with nature. Though most people live in cities these days, human beings are made to be part of the natural world. We should return to it often to recharge our batteries. 8. Give thanks. To your ancestors, to nature, which provides you with the air you breathe and the food you eat, to your friends and family, to everything that brightens your days and makes you feel lucky to be alive. Spend a moment every day giving thanks, and you’ll watch your stockpile of happiness grow. 9. Live in the moment. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future. Today is all you have. Make the most of it. Make it worth remembering. 10. Follow your ikigai. There is a passion inside you, a unique talent that gives meaning to your days and drives you to share the best of yourself until the very end. If you don’t know what your ikigai is yet, as Viktor Frankl says, your mission is to discover it.

A crack in a wall suggests a structural problem that needs addressing and shouldn’t be ignored for too long.

You existed before this relationship, and you will outlast it. When you think about your consciousness this way, you start to separate yourself from the pain that you feel in the moment. Acknowledge the pain, but understand where it resides and what has broken. What you created with your partner is being dismantled, but you are not being dismantled. Your life is not falling apart. You are not over. We may not feel this way, but if we believe it then we can take the steps needed to recover from the breakup, learn from it, and use it to bring that love back to all of our relationships.

Start by asking yourself: What did I do well in this relationship and what do I not want to repeat?

At one point your partner brought value into your life. No matter how much you think you lost, no matter how hurtful it was, you should honor what they gave you.

This story beautifully illustrates that we have different worth to different people. We are defined by what we accept. Part of what makes a breakup so hard is that this person who once valued us so highly no longer does. We’ve been devalued, but only by them. This is why we have to set our own worth and find someone who values us for who we are.

Steven Cole says that the best cure for loneliness or disconnection is to combine a sense of mission and purpose in your life with community engagement. Spending time in service marries connection with deep fulfillment, and the result is a boost in health. Prosocial behavior, including volunteering, has also been shown to boost our immune system, combat the physical stress caused by loneliness, and extend our longevity. Sadly, says Cole, these days too many of us have actually dialed back our engagement with others to pursue individual health-enhancing goals, like training for a triathlon, taking yoga classes, or trying to find our “one true love.” Those things are all great, but the biggest benefit for all comes when, as Cole describes it, your health is a “means to an end, which is, essentially, to make some meaningful stuff happen, not just for you but for others.” What

Being judged in the short term is better than being stuck in the wrong situation for the long term. If the only way for you to sustain the relationship is to pretend to be someone

Being judged in the short term is better than being stuck in the wrong situation for the long term. If the only way for you to sustain the relationship is to pretend to be someone you’re not, it’s time to think about ending it.

A guru offers guidance without judgment, wisdom without ego, love without expectation.

Only years later did I find out that before World War II only 10 percent of engagement rings were set with diamonds. Then the diamond industry contrived to make them the official jewel of marriage and love.

Love means noticing that everyone is worthy of love and treating them with the respect and dignity their humanity automatically makes them deserve.

If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else.

The Healing Power of Doing Good, looked

When someone is toxic, we can love them from a radius of respect.

Try to love someone for the spark in them, not what surrounds them.

The point of this story is that when you’re dealing with crocodiles, you should leave your heart at home. You can’t always be vulnerable. Sometimes it will be used against you.

But actually the greatest way to experience love is to give it.

You can seek love your whole life and never find it, or you can give love your whole life and experience joy.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. —ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY

Research shows that play is the mental state in which we learn best, and that play is essential for our mental health. When you attempt a new and challenging activity together in a space where success doesn’t matter, you can both let go and learn.

Alone, we learn to love ourselves, to understand ourselves, to heal our own pain, and to care for ourselves. We experience atma prema, self-love.

We tend to base success in relationships on how long they last, but their actual value lies in how much we learn and grow from them.

Will I ever find love” is the most popular question people ask about their futures. This question reveals our insecurity, our fear, our anxiety around loneliness, and these very feelings prevent us from finding love.

solitude is the foundation on which we build our love.

being self-aware means you can temper your weaknesses and play to your strengths.

You will feel a sense of security knowing that they’re focused on something deeply meaningful to them. Is it a personality trait or a choice rather than a necessity? Instead of demanding that they spend more time with you, ask, “Are you okay? Is there anything you’re dealing with?” We need to meet them with compassion rather than criticism or complaint.

Researchers Arthur and Elaine Aron developed “self-expansion theory,” which states that relationships—especially the one with our partner—enable us to live a bigger, richer life by expanding our sense of self. Self-expansion theory says we’re motivated to partner with someone who brings to the relationship things we don’t already have, such as different skills (You know how to unclog a drain!), personality traits (You’re the life of the party!), and perspectives (You grew up overseas!). Our partner expands our sense of who we are because they expand the resources to which we have access.

Do Not Lead, Serve

A guru doesn’t hesitate to play any position if it helps their student. There is no ego involved. The guru is honored and grateful to support another. A real guru doesn’t want power but empowers their partner.

I’d love to share this idea with you” or “Have you ever thought of it this way?

When you lead by example, you come to understand how difficult it is to grow because you’re doing the hard work of growth yourself. This gives you compassion and empathy toward your partner rather than judgment and expectations.

Gurus don’t use anger, harsh words, or fear to inspire their students. They realize that fear is a good motivator in the short term but over the long term it erodes trust. Criticism is lazy communication. It’s not constructive, compassionate, or collaborative. Look for ways to communicate so that the other person can consume, digest, and apply your input effectively. Offer them a “love sandwich” where you deliver a piece of constructive criticism between two tasty slices of positive feedback.

The more that I’ve detached myself from the things that I thought would make me happy like money and fame and other people’s opinions, the more truth is being revealed.

We want to fill our own gaps.

Why wait for someone else to make you feel good? And that’s why it’s so deeply important that we heal ourselves, taking charge of that process instead of shifting blame and responsibility to a partner.

If you want to treat yourself, you could make plans to go someplace you’ve never been before, or arrange a birthday celebration for yourself, or dress beautifully for an upcoming event. If you want to feel respected at work, you could decide that you’re going to make a list for your own benefit of everything you contributed to a project. We think of feeling appreciated, respected, and loved as core needs in a relationship, but when we attend to these needs for ourselves in small ways every day, then we don’t have to wait for our partner to deliver them through a grand gesture.

Love grows by practice, there’s no other way.

When you are going through a challenging phase, it’s also important to remind your partner that it’s not their fault. You can be open about what you need but clarify to your partner that this is your burden, not theirs. In fact, if you’re stuck and uninspired regarding your own purpose, it might be an ideal opportunity to direct your free time and energy toward your partner’s pursuits (later in this rule I’ll tell you how). This clear-eyed approach allows you to discover new ways to nurture your own, independent purpose. You

Don’t be pushy or get mad at them if they don’t follow your advice. They have to come to it in their own time and at their own pace. You can’t force them. You can only be there for them as they figure it out. You aren’t trying to get them to the next step in your journey but to the next step in their journey.

You can book a trip to a museum or find books or TED Talks to help them explore what they’re especially curious about. Take a look at your commitments and priorities, and make sure your partner has the freedom to pursue their curiosity instead of, for example, expecting that they’ll spend their spare time with you.

Your partner is your partner in love. You are each other’s guru—learning about yourselves and each other. But you don’t have to be mentors or business partners. Instead, help them think of ways to connect with mentors and come up with questions to ask when they have a chance.

Identify your reason for fighting: Am I fighting because I believe my way is best? (ego) Am I fighting because I think we should do something the “right” way? (ego) Am I fighting because I want the person to change? (passion) Am I fighting because this situation offends me to the core? (passion) Am I fighting because I want to feel different? (passion) Am I fighting because I want to improve the situation? (goodness) Am I fighting because I want us to become closer?

In order to learn, you have to commit time, and in order to commit time, your partner has to be on board. They have to understand the values that make you want to spend your time this way, and you want to make sure that they don’t feel like you are stealing the time from them or your family (if you have one). You do this by working together to decide where the time will come from.

Learning and experimenting could be a five-month journey or a five-year journey. Remember, no matter where you are on the pyramid of purpose, you are already in pursuit of purpose. There is no finish line to cross before you’re living your purpose.

We can’t avoid struggle, but the deeper we understand it, the more we can use it to grow.

Dreams don’t have to be big; they just have to be yours.

You have to love the lower parts. Life is not spent at the pinnacle. Those mountaintop events are only a tenth of 1 percent of the experience. Winners are still learning, experimenting, performing, and struggling.

Helping each other fulfill your purposes is so central to the success of a relationship that in the traditional Vedic wedding ceremony it’s the final vow: “Together we will persevere in the path of dharma (righteousness), through this vehicle of householder life.” This doesn’t mean you take over their dharma. It means you make room for it.

the kind of self-satisfaction that comes from opulences like fame or riches, along with personal gain and pleasure—looks different in our bodies from eudaimonia—the satisfaction that comes from having a deep sense of purpose and meaning in life.

In every relationship there are actually three relationships: your relationship with each other, your relationship with your purpose, and your partner’s relationship with their purpose.

Dharma is the intersection of passion, expertise, and service. Living in your dharma means that you’ve connected your natural talents and interests with a need that exists in the universe.

Purpose insulates and protects our self-esteem, and research has connected high self-esteem to more satisfying relationships.

We are confronted with the ups and downs of life, but purpose is an active ingredient that helps us stay stable.” We bring that stability to one another. It’s a foundation on which we can build our life with our partner.

You go do what you need to do, while I go do what I need to do.

Your purpose has to come first for you, and your partner’s purpose has to come first for them.

The partner without a purpose might become envious of the other’s progress, in which case both partners miss out on the joy, energy, and contentment that two people who are fueled by their purpose bring to each other.

But those new tensions are better than the old ones—because being depressed and confused and not knowing your dharma is worse than knowing it and struggling to make it work.

we prepare for love by learning how to love ourselves in solitude.

how to understand, appreciate, and cooperate with another mind, another set of values and preferences.

when we’re afraid of being single, we’re more likely to settle for less satisfying relationships

Loneliness makes us rush into relationships; it keeps us in the wrong relationships; and it urges us to accept less than we deserve. We

Alone, we learn to understand ourselves, to heal our own pain, and to care for ourselves.

And it’s only because the one who once ruled the world has in principle been driven out (Jn 12:31), disarmed (Col 2:15) and destroyed (1 Jn 3:8) that disciples can be assured that no cosmic power can separate us from the love of God (Rom 8:35-39).

[On emotional deprivation:] Avoid cold partners who generate high chemistry. This is that simple rule that is so hard to follow. Do not get involved with depriving partners. The rule is so hard to follow because these are precisely the partners who attract you most. We often give patients this rule-of-thumb: If you meet someone for whom you feel a high degree of chemistry, rate how much chemistry on a 0 to 10 scale. If you rate the person a 9 or 10, then think twice about becoming involved with this person. Occasionally, such relationships work out, after a great deal of turmoil. But, more often, the strong chemistry you feel will be based on lifetraps that they trigger in you, rather than positive qualities that will make the relationship last. We are not saying that you have to settle for spending the rest of your life with a partner who only generates a responses of 0-5 in you. We feel that there has to be some chemistry for the relationship to work. But, if there is only romantic chemistry, it almost certainly will not work in the long run. There are plenty of 6’s, 7’s, and 8’s out there. One of them might bring you the deep fulfilment of an intimate, loving relationship, perhaps for the first time in your life.