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The world projects possibilities and restrictions onto people based on identity variables (age, race, gender, etc.). We need to explore the sneaky ways we’ve internalized those stories. Internalized identity rules sound like
“Because I am X, I cannot also be/do Y.” For example:
• Because I am a mother, I cannot take a pole dancing class.
• Because I am forty years old, I cannot become a student.
• Because I am well-known in my community, I cannot go to therapy.
• Because I do CrossFit, I cannot do Zumba.
• Because I am a man, I cannot ask my partner to hold me.
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Alexandra H. Solomon (Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices to Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive)