Zombie Birthday Quotes

Man, first I’m shot, now I’m going to be a friggin’ zombie. At this rate, I’ll never live to have my first date or a driver’s license. Ah, gah! I’ve come too far to die a predestrian virgin. Bubba, you can’t let me die…I only have seventeen more months and three days to my sixteenth birthday! (Nick)

I had a dream about you. You were a lone candle on a barren vanilla cake, and I was the mighty breath sent to extinguish your light. I felt like God’s wrath coming down to destroy the Illuminati, while you probably thought I was the Satan coming to snuff out the light of the world. And the spectators who were gathered around the spectacle probably thought it was all one big party, as they stood still like mindless zombies singing “Happy Birthday.”


Presents? Cake? I could use a new bat, maybe some good work boots or running shoes.

Number one, I'd just seen my first zombies. Number two, there was no way to stop what was happening. Number three, the odds were I'd never live to see my nineteenth birthday. Life was over before I'd ever even got the chance to live it.

I finished the Bible last night. Spoiler alert: Jesus doesn’t make it. Or maybe he does, now that I think about it. I may have stopped reading too soon. In my defense though it was getting really depressing. Honestly, that book is my Waterloo. But I guess technically Jesus didn’t die. He just faked it. Or maybe it was a dream sequence. Or possibly he’s a zombie or something? But it’s confusing because Jesus died for our sins but God didn’t accept his death, so does that mean that our sins are still all outstanding? And when I say ‘outstanding’ I mean that they’re like … still on the books. Not like ‘AWESOME! THOSE SINS ARE OUTSTANDING!’ Some people think stuff like that is sacrilegious but I’m pretty sure Jesus would think this shit was hilarious. Plus we could bond over how shitty it is to have your birthday so close to Christmas.

The cake did look fantastic, though. There were photos. Shane cut into the thing, groaned at the sight of the chocolate cake beneath the vanilla frosting, but he took a piece – the King Kong piece – and ate it anyway. Michael gave him a present of a set of silver-coated throwing stars, which Shane greatly admired until Eve sharply reminded him they were not for home use, except in emergencies; Eve’s present was a t-shirt with an insulting graphic on it, of course. Claire saved her present for last. He unwrapped it and raised his eyebrows. “A book,” he said. “It’s a how-to book,” she said, “on how to kill zombies. But there’s a chapter at the end on vampires, too. Oh, and mummies, but we don’t see a whole lot of those around here.” “Useful,” he said, and started to put it aside. Then he frowned and flipped through it. There was a marker in the middle, and he pulled it out – a man’s silver bracelet. In the middle were engraved his initials. He turned it in the light, admiring it, then put it on and reached out for her hand to pull her closer. She got a kiss, a long, sweet one, and he brushed her hair back as he whispered, “I love you.” “Happy birthday,” she said. “And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake.

It gave me nightmares for weeks.

Instead, I learned that trusting the people that love you and believe in you, is what will really help save the day. So

Is it working?” “Yes, but I am going to need more time,” Ms. Ursula said. “Also, I need the full moon in order to give the potion its power. And the next full moon comes out tonight.” I had so many questions for Steve I didn’t even know where to begin. “So Steve, what’s going on?” “Well, for starters, everything that’s happening in your Mob village already happened in our village. Alex and I are the only humans in our village that didn’t get infected.” “But, how did you get away?” “Well, it was all thanks to Alex actually.” “Yep. All me,” Alex said. “You see, when I went to go find the missing villagers I eventually found them. But they weren’t too happy to see me. Actually, those Pumpkin Heads chased me all the way into a cave. Then one of the Pumpkin Heads found me and I thought I was a goner. But, next thing I know, Alex is standing over me laughing, with a pumpkin on her head.” “Yeah, I really had him going for a while there,” Alex said. “It

Pumpkin Heads to all come to the soccer field?” Alex asked. “Somebody is going to have to go throughout town, get their attention and lure them back here,” Steve said. I thought about Old Man Jenkins and his Zombie Horse, Ed. But since Mr. Jenkins was only half the Zombie he used to be, I realized that it was going to be up to me. “I’ll do it,” I said. “I’ll just ride Ed, the Zombie horse, throughout town and get the Pumpkin Heads to chase me back here.” “Way to go, Zombie!” Steve said. “That settles it. Alex, you and Ms. Ursula get the potion to the school’s water supply that’s connected to the sprinkler system. The guys and I will keep the rest of the Pumpkin Heads busy on the soccer field. Right, guys?” “Gulp! Uh, yeah sure…” the guys said. “Except you, Creepy, you can sit this one out,” Steve said. I told my Mom and Dad what I had to do. They didn’t like it, but they knew it was the only way to help save everybody. I stooped down and asked Old Man Jenkins if I could borrow Ed for one last ride. “You’re

The Day Tara the Great Destroyed the Zombie Queen and Then Ate a Grilled Cheese Sandwich would be

Yeah, but I don’t think anybody else made it,” Skelee said. All of a sudden we heard noises coming. “RRRAAAAAGGGHHHRRRR!!!” “Did you hear that? Quick, let’s hide!” I said. We ran down the school hallway, checking all of the classroom doors to see which ones were open. Creepy and I found one at the end of the hall, and Skelee and Slimey jumped into another open classroom close by. “Quick, Creepy, hide in the closet,” I said. I was trying my best to keep Creepy calm. But he was hissing so much. Even his liquid Nitrogen inhaler wasn’t helping. “RRRAAAAAGGGHHHRRRR!!!” The Pumpkin Heads were right at the door. I locked Creepy in the closet, and then I jumped behind the teacher’s desk hoping they wouldn’t find me. The door slowly opened, and I heard two of them come in. “RRRAAAAAGGGHHHRRRR!!!

weren’t sure if we were even going to make it. But the thing that was really bothering me was that my Mom, Dad and Wesley were out there. Man, if I had told Mom and Dad the truth, they would still be safe with us right here, I thought. Because I lied, my Mom, Dad and Wesley could be really hurt right now. Man, what am I going to do? “Zombie, are you ready?” Skelee asked. I looked at all the guys who were covered in pots and pans from head to toe. I thought about my Mom, Dad and Wesley. If they were still OK, I had to go save them. I thought about my best pals that really needed me right now. And I thought about Steve, who I knew somehow, somewhere, needed my help. And I knew that if there was ever a time to quit, if there was ever a time to give up, if there was ever a time to throw in the towel, this was not

Whoa! That’s really scary Jeff. Great costume,” Skelee said. “RAAAAGGGHHRRR!” “So realistic!” Slimey said. “RAAAAGGGHHRRR!” “And it’s really scary how you keep saying, RAAGGHHRR and stuff,” Creepy said. “RAAAAGGGHHRRR!” “Hey, you want some food?” I asked Jeff. “We got human worm fingers, booger cupcakes, spider eye cookies…” “RAAAAGGGHHRRR!” “And we have a cake that looks like…brains!” “RAUUH?” “Yeah, gross right? My Mom made it. Dig in.” Jeff started sniffing around the brain cake real weird like. But Jeff was always weird, so I guess it was OK. “BRRAINNSS?” “Yeah, it looks just like brains.

Well, Denise called me later this week to make arrangements for the trip. She told me about the time change,” Mom said. “Yes, son. We’ve known something was wrong ever since Mr. Jenkins told us that you were sneaking over to work with him on the weekends,” my Dad said. “He also told us about the lie you told him about burning the skin off of his Zombie horse. And, he even told us that you lied about Ms. Ursula’s clown, and her broken window.” “Really? You knew about all that? But, how come you didn’t say anything?” “Well, Zombie. We talked it over with Mr. Jenkins and we figured that you needed to sort out those situations for yourself,” my Mom said. “And we believed in you.” “Yes, son,” my Dad said. “We knew that you would eventually choose the right course. And eventually, you did.” Wow… My parents are so cool. Man, even in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse, I just realized that I am the luckiest Zombie in the whole world. Oh no! Mr. Jenkins!!! “Mom, Dad… Did Mr. Jenkins make it?” “Sort

I see you lost more of your eyebrows last night. Any other big Zombie changes happen?” “Not really, Dad.” I wanted to tell him about my extra chin mold, but my Dad would’ve probably made a big deal about it. “I remember when I turned 13,” my Dad said. “I really wanted to grow a mold mustache but I couldn’t. So I just let my nose hairs grow really long and it looked just as good. Eating was a bit of a problem, but I eventually got used to it.” Man. My parents are so weird. But, I got my whole schedule all set up for today. First my Mom is going to take me to Zombies R Us to buy some more stuff for my birthday Party. And she needed to get another costume for Wesley since I kind of destroyed his. She wasn’t too happy I took Wesley’s costume. But I think she forgot about it once she saw that Wesley and I were going to have matching costumes this Halloween.

Instead, I learned that trusting the people that love you and believe in you, is what will really help save the day. So

Wake up, Zombie, it’s almost sundown,” Steve said. When I woke up, I was hoping that everything that had happened was just a really bad dream. But, it wasn’t. I was still in the school gymnasium with all of the other parents and kids from the neighborhood. “Are the Pumpkin Heads still out there?” I asked Steve. “Yep. And now there are more than ever.” “But shouldn’t the sun have burned them to a crisp by now?” “I thought so too. But it looks like the pumpkins protect them from getting burned somehow,” Steve said. We all ran up to the Potions Brewing Lab to see if Ms. Ursula was finished with the cure. “As soon as the sun goes down, and the full moon comes out, the potion

I remembered how Belinda the Jungle Witch helped us before. But the problem was that she wasn’t around. So, I came to find the only other witch that I knew about, your neighbor, Ms. Ursula.” “After Steve and Alex came to see me, I had to travel to the different biomes to get all of the ingredients that I needed,” Ms. Ursula said. “So that’s why they said you were missing!” I exclaimed. “And that’s why you weren’t there when I broke your window.” “What window?” “Oh...err…nothing.” Wow, that was a crazy story. But I was just so happy to see Steve again. Life just wasn’t the same without him. “Hey Zombie, you ready to see your parents? They’ve been really worried about you,” Steve said. “My parents?!!! They’re here?!!!” “Yeah, a lot of the parents are in the gymnasium. I’m sure they’re going to be really happy to see all of you guys.” Then Steve, the guys and I ran downstairs to the gymnasium in the basement. When we opened the doors, there were a bunch of mobs from the neighborhood there. We found Skelee’s parents, Slimey’s parents, and Creepy’s family was all there too. I saw my Mom and Dad from far away and I ran to them. “Mom! Dad!” “Zombie! You’re safe! We were so worried about you!” I gave my parents the biggest hug ever. “Habby Burtday Zumbie!” “Wesley!” I gave Wesley the biggest hug ever, too. “Mom…Dad… I am so sorry for lying to you about Wesley’s trick-or-treating trip. I never meant for you to get hurt. I just wanted to look good in front of my friends. Now I know how dumb that was. And I promise I will never, ever lie to you again!” “Zombie, we already forgave you when we found out that you lied to us,” Mom said. “What? How did you know?” “Well,

So I like slept till eleven, because we’re on Christmas break, only it’s called winter break now because Jesus is AN OPPRESSIVE ZOMBIE BASTARD AND WE DO NOT BOW DOWN TO HIS BIRTHDAY! At least not at Allen Ginsberg High School, we don’t. (Go, Fighting Beatniks!) But it’s all good, ’cause I’m going to have to get used to getting up later if I’m going to be a creature of the night.

Hey Zombie, what’s sizzling?

Then they showed us a film about what to do in case of a Zombie Apocalypse. I didn’t understand why they were showing it. It’s not like we’re going to have a Zombie Apocalypse any time soon. Plus, I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. I kind of think that if Zombies were to take over the world, it would really improve our social status. “Now

treat me like a baby Zombie. Like

Review

Table of Contents Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

The End and Happy Halloween

lying doesn’t fix anything. Because even though lying is really, really easy, it sure makes life really, really hard. Instead,

Because you know, being a 12 year old noob in middle school can be pretty painful. Especially

walking home from school today I noticed that people in the neighborhood were putting up Halloween decorations around their houses. One

feeling

Plus, I really am going to visit my friend Ed. And he is big and green. He just happens to be Old Man Jenkin’s horse, Ed, that’s all. Same thing. Right?

It’s a good thing I write everything in my journal, or I would forget everything.

Harry Potter

So wrong…

Happy Birthday, Me! That’s right. Today’s my birthday. October 31st, Halloween.

All my hopes and dreams just went out the window.

Man, what am I going to do? I guess I’m going to have to figure out a way to make my own Harry Potter costume. It’s probably gonna be real hard too. I still haven’t even figured out how to carve a lightning bolt on my head. So we just spent the rest of the time shopping for a costume for my little brother Wesley. As we were looking around, I saw a crowd of people standing around a display that had a large object covered in a black curtain. It was inside a glass box that was locked with like 20 padlocks. Then, around the glass box there were two big fat chains that were locked together with a big lock. And in front of the glass box there were two security guards that were dressed in riot gear. Man, I just had to find out what was in there.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any matter whatsoever without the written and signed permission of the author. All trademarked names are the property of their owner and are acknowledged by the proper use of capitalization throughout. OTHER ‘Game on Boys’ BOOKS Available on Amazon as eBooks or print books Game on Boys 4 can be read separately or part of a series FREE ebook Game on Boys 1:The PlayStation Playoffs(8-12) Game on Boys 2 : Minecraft Madness (8-12) Game on Boys 3 : NO Girls Allowed Game on Boys 5 : House of Horrors Game on Boys 6 : Galactic Zombie Other books by Kate Cullen FREE Diary Of a Wickedly Cool Witch : Bullies and Baddies(8-13) Boyfriend Stealer : Diary of a Wickedly Cool Witch 2 (8-13) Diary of a Wickedly Cool Witch 3 : Perfect Ten (8-13) Diary of a Wickedly Cool Witch 4 : Witch School for Misfits Lucy goes to the Halloween Party (Early readers) Lucy the Easter Dog (Early readers) Lucy's Merry Christmas Sammy McGann and the Secret Soup People (5-10) Follow KATE on TWITTER at Kate Cullen @ katekate5555 Or email gameonboysseries@gmail.com to receive email updates. (Copy and paste) Or visit her website for new books and giveaways Kate Cullen author website Contents 1. Wow 2. BYODD 3. Secrets 4. News 5. Brats 6. Santa 7. Wishing 8. Blocky 9. Monsters 10. Wolverine 11. Creepy. 12. Arachnophobia 13. Fartblaster 14. Superhero 15. Enderman 16. Teleporting 17. Lost 18. Potions 19. Scared 20. Spells 21. Fireworks 22. Homecoming 1. WOW You know how awesome Christmas is, and birthdays are sick as, Easter is just a big fat chocolate splurge, and even Thanksgiving is like pig-out insanity. Weekends are kinda cool too, but holidays are totally far out man. And when a new PS game comes out and they have a midnight release extravaganza at the game store, it’s like crazy time, coolness overload. All these things are the main reason I exist on this earth. Without all this stuff, life would just SUCK big time. But nothing, I repeat NOTHING comes close to the Christmas I just had. WOW! I repeat WOW! Where do I even start? This Christmas was a like a dream come true. Actually it was sort of like a nightmare too, if that makes any sense. A dream and a nightmare mixed up into one. Totally far out man. Totally gobsmacking, totally awesome, but totally freaking scary. So you’re probably thinking like I won a million bucks or something and then got mugged, or the owner of Sony PlayStation company sent me 1000 free PS games, and then the house got robbed at gunpoint. Or even better, the owner made me the new boss of the Sony PlayStation company. Yeah right! Like that will ever happen! In my dreams!! Although, after what happened, I’m thinking that absolutely anything is possible. 2. BYODD The last day at school before Christmas break was awesome. We had a BYOD day in the afternoon. The first part of the day we had to do all the boring Christmassy stuff like making soppy cards for our families, coloring pictures of Santa and doing boring word searches looking for words like (DER) ‘Santa, Christmas, present, jingle, stocking’. Like BORING. Capital ‘B’ Boring. Why can’t Christmas word finds have proper Christmas words like, console, iPhone 6, PlayStation games, Star wars, BMX, Nerf Modulous Blaster, Thunderblast, Star Wars darth vader vehicle, lego Star Wars Death star?

The only thing more delicious than a carrot is a dandelion, but I like to save those for special occasions, like my birthday, my mom’s birthday, my dad’s birthday, and any day that ends with a ‘y’.