“
What you want to do tonight?
I read Daniel's text and respond.
Sorry. Plans.
WTF, puss flap!? No! Me. You. Plans.
Can't. Pretty sure I have a date.
Sky?
Yep.
Can I come?
Nope.
Can I be your date next Saturday, then?
Sure, babe.
Can't wait, sugar.
”
”
Colleen Hoover (Losing Hope (Hopeless, #2))
“
wtf even is my sexuality
”
”
Daniel Howell
Darynda Jones (Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet (Charley Davidson, #4))
“
Given that sin x = 1⁄4 and x is in Quadrant II, find the exact values of sin2 x and cos2 x WTF. He looked at this every day, and it was still like reading Chinese.
”
”
Brigid Kemmerer (Spark (Elemental, #2))
“
There’s a relentless wave of WTF coming out of Washington DC.
”
”
Jarod Kintz (At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.)
“
By reinforcing every part, he weakens every part.
”
”
Sun Tzu (The Art of War)
“
Tampons. I’m constantly worrying about my stash and if I’ll be able to find more.
”
”
Rick Yancey (The 5th Wave (The 5th Wave, #1))
“
PROS: things that make it look like I could be
....
5. K'Vruck poked at me mentally, then said, "Ah, there you are." (WTF????)
”
”
Karen Marie Moning (Shadowfever (Fever, #5))
“
wtf even is your sexuality
”
”
Daniel Howell
“
And the fuck is yours too, WTF. That question does not apply 'to everything every day.' If it does, you’re wasting your life. If it does, you’re a lazy coward and you are not a lazy coward.
Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it.
”
”
Cheryl Strayed (Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)
Jandy Nelson (The Sky Is Everywhere)
“
All women love semi-rape. They love to be taken.It was his sweet brutality against my bruised body that made his act of love so piercingly wonderful.
”
”
Ian Fleming (The Spy Who Loved Me (James Bond, #10))
“
I'm afraid I don't know WTF. I only discovered LOL from Joyce last week
”
”
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
“
The girl's cigarette released this shocking pink smoke reserved for the feminine genre.
”
”
Sergio Cobo (A Story of Yesterday)
“
I can pretty much guarantee that every time you tearfully ask yourself the question, “WTF is my problem?!” the answer lies in some lame, limiting, and false subconscious belief that you’ve been dragging around without even realizing
”
”
Jen Sincero (You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life)
“
I started getting Mal's texts just before lunch.
Mal: Awake
Anne: Morning
Mal: Going for a run with Jim
Anne: Have fun!
Mal: Back from run having lunch
...
Mal:Your taste in music sucks
Anne: Thanks
Mal: Seriously, we need to talk it's that bad. Everything apart from Stage Dive needs to go.
Anne: Wait. What are you doing?
Mal:Fixing it.
Anne: Mal, WTH are you doing?
Mal: Making you new playlist wih decent shit. Relay
Anne: K Thanks
Mal: Bored again
Mal: Ben's coming over to play Halo
Anne: Great! But you don't have to tell me everything you do, Mal
Mal: Davie says communication's important
Mal: When are you on the rag? Davie said to find out if you want cupcakes or ice cream
Anne: I want to not talk about this ever
Mal: Bored. Ben's late
Mal: Let's get a dog
Anne: Apartment has no pets rule
Mal: Nice green lace bra
Anne: Get out of my drawers, Mal.
Mal: Matching panties?
Anne: GET OUT NOW.
Mal: :)
Mal: sext me
Mal: Some on it'll be funny
Mal: Plz?
Mal: High level of unhealthy codependency traits exhibited by both parties relationship possibly bordeing on toxic
Anne: WTF?
Mal: Did magazine quiz. We need help- Especially you
Anne:...
Mal: Booking us couples counseling. Tues 4:15 alright?
Anne: We are not going to counseling.
Mal: What's wrong? Don't you love me anymore?
Anne: Turning phone off now.
”
”
Kylie Scott (Play (Stage Dive, #2))
L.H. Cosway (The Hooker and the Hermit (Rugby, #1))
“
WTF!” she says, throwing her hands in the air. “I didn’t know this was a fucked-up relationship reunion.”
Olivia covers her eyes. “Don’t judge me.”
Cammie smacks me on the butt and hugs Olivia. “I told you I’d come right away, you didn’t have to call him.”
“I called him first,” she says. “He makes me feel safer than you do.”
“It’s his massive penis, isn’t it? He could just smack Dobson with it and he’d-
”
”
Tarryn Fisher (Thief (Love Me with Lies, #3))
“
The number of people on whose cooperative efforts your eventual existence depends has risen to approximately 1,000,000,000,000,000,000, which is several thousand times the total number of people who have ever lived.
”
”
Bill Bryson (A Short History of Nearly Everything)
“
Sometimes a b.f.f makes you go W.T.F but without them we'd all be a little less richer in our lives .
”
”
Cecily von Ziegesar (You're the One That I Want (Gossip Girl, #6))
“
Hunter stared back at him until Michael raised his eyebrows in a Dude, wtf? expression. Hunter shook himself. "Yeah. Sure.
”
”
Brigid Kemmerer (Spirit (Elemental, #3))
“
I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and start sucking my thumb, let my tears and dripping saliva pool under me.
Sorry. I tried living, tried being sentient. Can't do it. Can't live in the same universe with that.
”
”
David Wong (John Dies at the End (John Dies at the End, #1))
“
Is there anybody alive out there?
”
”
Bruce Springsteen
“
So…what are you up to?” she asked.
“I’m looking at a pretty girl.”
Huh? If this were texting, that would definitely earn a WTF reply. “Okaay…”
“She’s blonde, wearing blue and standing with two friends. She’s talking on her phone, probably to some unworthy jerk, but damn, I wish I were him.
”
”
Cherrie Lynn (Rock Me (Ross Siblings, #2))
“
FYI, when I type WTF, you are supposed to read What the Fuck? Same with OMG, and OMFG, which are Oh My God and Oh My Fucking God. Only a completely lame Disney Channel nimnode pronounces the letters.
”
”
Christopher Moore (Bite Me (A Love Story, #3))
“
Me: Need to shop for a dress. Stenn asked me to prom.
The Momster: WTF!
Me: Mom? What do you think WTF means?
The Momster: Well That's Fantastic.
”
”
J.J. Johnson (The Theory of Everything)
“
You should see your face."
"I don't need to see it to know it has WTF written all over it." I told him.
”
”
Jennifer L. Armentrout (Rage and Ruin (The Harbinger, #2))
“
A few seconds later, her reply came in.
WTF an A! I blinked, sure I was misreading. But no, the letters didn't change.
Me: Nana, do U know what WTF means??
Her: Of course silly, it means "well, that's fantastic.
”
”
Gena Showalter
“
Kelsea saw now that there was something far worse than being ugly: being ugly and thinking you were beautiful.
”
”
Erika Johansen (The Queen of the Tearling (The Queen of the Tearling, #1))
“
I'm afraid I don't know WTF. I only discovered LOL from Joyce last week. I'm going to assume that it doesn't refer to the Warsaw Transit Facility, as that was shut down in 1981 when the Russians came sniffing.
”
”
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
“
Last Year Clare would have a lot to say to This Year Clare if she could have peeked into the future and seen me in Kendra Kiger's house. She'd probably slap me upside the head and say some variation of "Hey, Future Clare, wtf?
”
”
Kim Harrington (Perception (Clarity, #2))
“
Big Titty Liddy was not very pretty, but her bosom was big as a barn. Her creamery knockers drove men off their rockers, but she was blind to their charms
”
”
Shelby Mahurin (Serpent & Dove (Serpent & Dove, #1))
“
She’d probably slap me upside the head and say some variation of 'Hey, Future Clare, wtf?
”
”
Kim Harrington (Perception (Clarity, #2))
“
The house smells like an Italian restaurant when I walk through the door. I turn to Logan, who shoots me a WTF look, and I shrug as if to say fuck if I know, because I honestly don’t know. I bend down to unlace my scuffed black boots, then follow the mouthwatering aroma to the kitchen. When I reach the doorway, I blink like I’ve just stumbled upon a desert mirage.
Hannah’s sexy ass greets my eyes. She’s angled over the oven door, wearing Tuck’s pink oven mitts as she pulls a steaming pan of lasagna off the middle shelf. At the sound of my footsteps, she glances over her shoulder and smiles. “Oh, hey. Perfect timing.
”
”
Elle Kennedy (The Deal (Off-Campus, #1))
“
Krissy + party = WTF?
”
”
Jennifer Laurens (Penitence (Heavenly, #2))
“
OMG, I am so WTF over it, I’m LOL-ing
”
”
Stephani Hecht
“
Phoenix sank to the desk chair and stared at her computer screen. “I don’t know. I’ve lived like this for so long, it’s who I am. Everything seems so stupid. Like, look at this girl,writing to Sasha. She’s all”—he spoke in a falsetto voice—“‘OMG!’ and ‘LOL!’ and ‘WTF?’ and ‘Girl, you should totes go out with Tyler in Telluride!’” He looked up at her.“You’re seventeen years old, and this is how seventeenyear-olds talk to each other. I’m a thousand years old, and this stuff is like alien-speak to me. If I found another Anabo,she’d be writing OMG and I’d be thinking, You’re f’ing
kidding me.
”
”
Trinity Faegen (The Redemption of Ajax (The Mephisto Covenant, #1))
“
Why do we still cling to the intellectually retarded notion that liberty can be obtained, maintained, or lost at the end of a gun barrel? When you're working 3 minimum wage jobs to make the minimum payment on a pair of socks you bought 12 years ago because your credit card company slapped you with an interest rate that would make a loan shark holler WTF! ... well, no one needs to hold a gun to your head. Your ass has already been sold down the river.
”
”
Quentin R. Bufogle
“
As Anne Lamott suggests, only three prayers are necessary. Mine are “Please!” “Thank you!” and “WTF???” That’s all the spirituality you’ll need for a while.
”
”
Glennon Doyle Melton (Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed)
“
As V dropped the bomb, there was a momentary period of silent saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-whaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Then a shit-ton of gasps and cursing in the room, all kinds of WTF hitting the airwaves.
”
”
J.R. Ward (The Beast (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #14))
“
Half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. The other half, I'm trying to undo what I did when I didn't know what I was doing. That leaves, let's see now . . . one more half. That last half is divided into three halves, one for working, one for writing, and one for asking the mother of all rhetorical questions . . . WTF?
”
”
Suki Michelle
“
Byron had to blink a dozen times, each time hoping the dream would end. But the unreal was real.
”
”
Peter Lerangis (wtf)
“
To all my readers. I don't need my daughter's okay to do anything. I was a writer before she was my daughter. The CRANK books were inspired by my desire to keep others from following in her path, but they are FICTION. And seriously, WTF do I need her permission for? Are you effing kidding me? I'm her MOTHER.
”
”
Ellen Hopkins
“
You are a child of the divine, you are compressed stardust, you are a human being. You have a responsibility to cause as little harm to yourself and others as possible. To live the best, biggest life you can and to leave everyone you come across better than you found them.
”
”
Bakara Wintner (WTF is Tarot?: ...& How Do I Do It?)
“
@LucyFitz Would you rather live the rest of your life with a human head and a horse’s body, or a horse’s head and a human body?
@BroderickAdams to @LucyFitzHuman head + horse body = centaur. Horse head + human body = WTF. So, the first one, obvs.
@RonanFitz to @BroderickAdams @LucyFitz No more acid tabs for either of you.
”
”
L.H. Cosway (The Player and the Pixie (Rugby, #2))
“
NEVER let the judgment of others determine what actions you take to make your own dreams come true.
”
”
Jennifer Sparks (WTF to OMG: The Frazzled Female's Guide to Creating a Life You Love (The Good Life Series))
“
WTFact: The human small intestine can reach up to eight meters in length. Why do you want to know that? Because all knowledge is important, f*ck-face.
”
”
Gregory Bergman (WTF? College: How to Survive 101 of Campus's Worst F*#!-ing Situations)
“
WTF is praying gonna do for Vegas? Apparently God likes mass shootings.
”
”
Oliver Markus Malloy
“
I don’t make the weather. You got a beef, take it up with God.” That’s what I’ve been doing a lot lately: taking it up with God. Like: God, WTF?
”
”
Rick Yancey (The 5th Wave (The 5th Wave, #1))
“
Primarily, shapeshifters of the animal variety remain true to animal kingdom rules in their sexual behaviors. I cant say Ive ever seen two male shack up, set up housekeeping, and make crème brûlée together in their nest of love.
”
”
Dakota Cassidy (Accidentally Catty (Accidentally Paranormal #5))
“
Goddamn Lassiter. Dinner invite. Sal’s.
WTF.
The last thing he wanted to do was sit across from that angel and listen to a Reservoir Dogs opener about dick symbolism in Deadpool. The problem? His brother, iAm, did make the best Bolognese anywhere, and besides, if Trez didn’t show? Lassiter was just the flavor of asshole to turn up here in a clown costume and honk his nose until Trez lost his mind.
”
”
J.R. Ward (The Chosen (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #15))
“
I saw at once the way to appeal to him.. 'Well, of course you know.' I said, 'in really smart circles one has to offer heroin and cocaine to people. It's only a passing fashion, of course, but while it's on, one's really out of it if one doesn't do the right thing.
”
”
Aleister Crowley (Diary of a Drug Fiend)
“
Did your dad say anything about Nick and Daisy?"
"He-" I started. Then I caught a blur out of the corner of my eye, and something landed in the fountain with a resounding splash, drenching me and Jenna in a wave of pink water.
Nick surfaced, tossing his head back and sending dropets flying. If a demon and a vampire both staring at him with identical looks of "WTF,dude?" bothered him, he didn't show it.
Instead,he gave his usualy creepy grin and asked, "Did one of you lovely ladies say my name?"
"Yeah," I said,glaring at him as I wrung water out of my braid. "We were just saying, 'Man,I wish Nick would fling himself into the fountain like a nut job and totally ruin our clothes.' So thanks for that."
"Sophie's right," Daisy said, coming to stand next to the fountain. Apparently, wherever Nick was, she was right behind. "Tell them you're sorry." Her words might have sounded sterner if she hadn't been looking at Nick like he was something tasty to eat. God,they were weird.
Nick sloshed through the water until he was right in front of me and Jenna. "That's actually why I came out here, my darling," he said to Daisy. "Sophie, I was a jerk to you yesterday."
He didn't actually say 'jerk," but another word that was way more accurate. I just raised my eyebrows and waited for him to continue.
”
”
Rachel Hawkins (Demonglass (Hex Hall, #2))
“
I already have my bathroom time scheduled, so you’ll have to work around it. Please note the bathroom is unavailable for the hour before each of my scheduled usage times (I don’t like to feel as if someone has just been in there when I have to go). However, for your convenience, there is also a toilet available with minimal wait time on the first floor lobby if you have an emergency and need immediate use.
”
”
Kyle Adams (Dirty Pirate)
“
I'm bound to you Stern. To the women who brought me out of hell. I will serve you 'till the end of days.
”
”
Leigh Bardugo (Hell Bent (Alex Stern, #2))
“
She could already feel small waves of her juices fall from her newly-broken pussy, making a damp spot under her ass.
”
”
Lola Newmar (Loving Scarlett (Scarlett Rose and the 7 Longhorns #1))
“
Okay, this moment is definitely brought to me by the letters W, T, and F.
”
”
Lauren Rowe (Ball Peen Hammer (Morgan Brothers, #1))
“
Ash: The thing is, it wasn’t over Lily. It was all about you. Lix: I think you should stop talking now. Ash: You’re so attractive. I want to kiss you. Lix: WTF Ash: I mean it. Let’s take our friendship to the next level. This can’t just be one sided.
”
”
Charlotte West (Bad Rules (A Wild Minds Novel))
“
Getting hit in the face was... not cool. At. All. I know for a fact I squealed, grabbed my chin with both hands and possibly wailed, 'Why would you to that to me?' before collapsing to my knees on the ground.
”
”
Mariana Zapata (Rhythm, Chord & Malykhin)
“
Have you ever visited that portion of Erin's plot that offers its sympathetic soil for the minute survey and scrutinous examination of those in political power, whose decision has wisely been the means before now of converting the stern and prejudiced, and reaching the hand of slight aid to share its strength in augmenting its agricultural richness?
”
”
Amanda McKittrick Ros (Delina Delaney)
“
In a conversation on Twitter, a doctor said to me: I do anesthesia for a living, done it for hundreds of tubals I’m sure. I often think: WTF is wrong with the husband? Except when part of a C-section, tubals should be rare. Vasectomies are cheap, low-pain, extremely safe, and highly effective. Why are tubals also a burden that women must carry? An additional point: there has never been a documented death from a vasectomy. However, many women have died from anesthetic or surgical complications from a tubal ligation.
”
”
Gabrielle Stanley Blair (Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion)
“
You want to take all my money slow with success, so far you have taken 120$ and they aren't return back and you want more and more and more...
”
”
Deyth Banger
“
Florida’s longtime moniker, “The Sunshine State” is soon to be replaced with “The W-T-F State.
”
”
Margaret Lashley (Moth Busters (Freaky Florida Mystery Adventures #1))
“
He took off my flip-flops and began kissing my feet, sucking my toes.
”
”
Melissa Broder (The Pisces)
“
Oh yes! Smell how much I need you!" Taylor's hips bucked over and over, desperately searching for a part of their bodies to wet with her cream.
”
”
Lola Newmar (A Bride for Two Billionaires (The Male Order, Texas Collection #2))
“
Gilgamesh's sperm! That is the true treasure . . . YOU CAN CREATE THE WORLD'S MIGHTIEST ARMY BY USING HIS SPERM!
”
”
Kazuo Koike (Offered, Volume 2)
“
Are you starting your period? It’s not your time.
”
”
RuNyx (The Emperor (Dark Verse, #3))
“
If no one should not ask with you anything.
Then for what the fuck purpose you raised question with me..
”
”
Allan Bridjith
“
I'm genius and I'm tired of pretending less clever than I actually am just so you can catch up. -the diary of an oxygen thief
”
”
Anonymous (Diary of an Oxygen Thief)
“
I count my finger to make sure it's still there
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1))
“
Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.
”
”
James Connor (WTF is LOVE: What is love? Almost 1000 hilarious & inspiring definitions, quotations, verses and sayings about LOVE & ROMANCE!)
“
The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.
”
”
James Connor (WTF is LOVE: What is love? Almost 1000 hilarious & inspiring definitions, quotations, verses and sayings about LOVE & ROMANCE!)
“
Music is love, love is music, music is life, and I love my life. Thank you and good night.
”
”
James Connor (WTF is LOVE: What is love? Almost 1000 hilarious & inspiring definitions, quotations, verses and sayings about LOVE & ROMANCE!)
“
Tookie was loving Thigh-High Boot Camp. She thought the name was especially fitting because she felt like she was flying on a natural Thigh High.
”
”
Tyra Banks (Modelland)
“
A true WTF Moment makes you aware of your current reality. It demands you accept full responsibility for where you are and it gives you the vision you need to commit to change.
”
”
Jennifer Sparks (WTF to OMG: The Frazzled Female's Guide to Creating a Life You Love)
“
He is also author of the hilarious, edgy YA novel wtf.
”
”
Peter Lerangis (The Colossus Rises (Seven Wonders, Book 1))
“
the six of us are supposed to drive to the diner in Hastings for lunch. But the moment we enter the cavernous auditorium where the girls told us to meet them, my jaw drops and our plans change.
“Holy shit—is that a red velvet chaise lounge?”
The guys exchange a WTF look. “Um…sure?” Justin says. “Why—”
I’m already sprinting toward the stage. The girls aren’t here yet, which means I have to act fast. “For fuck’s sake, get over here,” I call over my shoulder.
Their footsteps echo behind me, and by the time they climb on the stage, I’ve already whipped my shirt off and am reaching for my belt buckle. I stop to fish my phone from my back pocket and toss it at Garrett, who catches it without missing a beat.
“What is happening right now?” Justin bursts out.
I drop trou, kick my jeans away, and dive onto the plush chair wearing nothing but my black boxer-briefs. “Quick. Take a picture.”
Justin doesn’t stop shaking his head. Over and over again, and he’s blinking like an owl, as if he can’t fathom what he’s seeing.
Garrett, on the other hand, knows better than to ask questions. Hell, he and Hannah spent two hours constructing origami hearts with me the other day. His lips twitch uncontrollably as he gets the phone in position.
“Wait.” I pause in thought. “What do you think? Double guns, or double thumbs up?”
“What is happening?”
We both ignore Justin’s baffled exclamation.
“Show me the thumbs up,” Garrett says.
I give the camera a wolfish grin and stick up my thumbs.
My best friend’s snort bounces off the auditorium walls. “Veto. Do the guns. Definitely the guns.”
He takes two shots—one with flash, one without—and just like that, another romantic gesture is in the bag.
As I hastily put my clothes back on, Justin rubs his temples with so much vigor it’s as if his brain has imploded. He gapes as I tug my jeans up to my hips. Gapes harder when I walk over to Garrett so I can study the pictures.
I nod in approval. “Damn. I should go into modeling.”
“You photograph really well,” Garrett agrees in a serious voice. “And dude, your package looks huge.”
Fuck, it totally does.
Justin drags both hands through his dark hair. “I swear on all that is holy—if one of you doesn’t tell me what the hell just went down here, I’m going to lose my shit.”
I chuckle. “My girl wanted me to send her a boudoir shot of me on a red velvet chaise lounge, but you have no idea how hard it is to find a goddamn red velvet chaise lounge.”
“You say this as if it’s an explanation. It is not.” Justin sighs like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. “You hockey players are fucked up.”
“Naah, we’re just not pussies like you and your football crowd,” Garrett says sweetly. “We own our sex appeal, dude.”
“Sex appeal? That was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever—no, you know what? I’m not gonna engage,” Justin grumbles. “Let’s find the girls and grab some lunch
”
”
Elle Kennedy (The Mistake (Off-Campus, #2))
“
Why you choose happiness, so you think that the sad moments like somebody dieing - it's equal to happiness?
!?!?!?!??!
So you think that time crimes like this in auschwitz which don't have proof so far from what they say in the reports from Mr.Death (Documentary film!)... so this is equal to (How to say it???!?!) to happiness??
WTF, crime equal to happiness, sadness also so what's left?
Oh, oh I know the Joker (Note: He is a nice character isn't he?)
”
”
Deyth Banger
“
Jane to Cosmo--
So you're thinking, you know, 'WTF, I thought we were going to do the horizontal mambo, and she has /questions/?' But really, I'm just keeping the conversation going until we can get into the bedroom, because I know that as soon as I touch you, I'm going to go up in flames, and I really don't want our first time to be on my office floor. Or on my desk. I mean, how would I ever get anything done again with that kind of vibe coming off of it?
”
”
Suzanne Brockmann (Hot Target (Troubleshooters, #8))
“
Nie zuvor hatte ich so tiefschwarzes Haar gesehen. Dicht und glänzend reichte es ihm bis zum Kragen - eine sexy Länge, die dem erfolgreichen Geschäftsmann das Aussehen eines "Bad Boy" verlieh, wie Schlagsahne auf einem Schokobecher.
”
”
Sylvia Day (Bared to You (Crossfire, #1))
“
Yes, by getting married, you’ve essentially doubled your family fuck-giving in one fell swoop. It’s sort of like when you get a bonus at work, and you’re like, “Awesome!” and then the IRS proceeds to tax it at 50 percent, and you’re like, “WTF?” Your
”
”
Sarah Knight (The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide Book 1))
“
I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and hare-bells; listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass; and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
”
”
Emily Brontë (Wuthering Heights)
“
And if we really want to stay current and relevant, we have to use social media. And by that I mean Facebook. There are one billion people on Facebook. Maybe older people should have our own social media. We can call it What Did That Doctor Do to Your Face Book? In fact, we can have our own text and Facebook abbreviations. We can have our own WTF, LOL, and LMAO. GNIB: Good news, it’s benign. OMG: Oh, my gout. DMMLIMNWD: Don’t make me laugh, I’m not wearing Depends. WAI: Where am I? ITIHSBCR: I think I had sex but can’t remember. ILI: I like Ike. TKDC: The kids didn’t call. DTLSTY: Does this look swollen to you? CTDMELOFM: Call the doctor—my erection lasted over four minutes. PAMUHNASIHSB: Put a mirror under his nose and see if he’s still breathing. Bottom line: we can’t be dial-up in a Wi-Fi world.
”
”
Billy Crystal (Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys)
“
RubyMars: Have you heard anything else about when you’re leaving for good?
AHall80: Not yet, but everything seems to be on schedule. Should be about 8 weeks. The longest 8 weeks of my life.
RubyMars: I’m sure.
AHall80: I want a shitty, greasy, deep dish pizza like you can’t imagine. I can already taste it.
AHall80: A hot shower… a real bed… AC everywhere…
RubyMars: Clean clothes?
AHall80: Clean clothes. Clean socks. No sand.
RubyMars: Clean underwear.
RubyMars: No sand? I thought you were planning on going to the beach?
AHall80: The beach is different. There’s water. It isn’t just desert and more desert.
RubyMars: I guess that makes sense.
RubyMars: My brother said once that his goal is to never see sand in his life again.
AHall80: For real.
RubyMars: What I didn’t finish saying was that he said that, but he’s gone to Cancun twice with his boyfriend, LOL.
AHall80: It’s different. I’m over this sand shit.
AHall80: Never again
RubyMars: Does that mean you’re dead set on not re-enlisting?
AHall80: …
RubyMars: Whatever you want. I’m not judging. We don’t have to talk about it.
AHall80: It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it…
RubyMars: But you don’t want to talk about it.
AHall80: :] Basically.
RubyMars: I’ll change the subject then.
RubyMars: Have you gone #2 lately?
AHall80: Three days ago.
RubyMars: Are you joking?
AHall80: I wish.
RubyMars: AARON
AHall80: I know. I KNOW.
RubyMars: Does it hurt?
AHall80: Uh, when it comes out?
RubyMars: Omg
RubyMars: Aaron
RubyMars: I meant your stomach.
RubyMars: Does your stomach hurt?
RubyMars: I can’t breathe
RubyMars: Or type
RubyMars: I didn’t mean your… rectum.
RubyMars: Aaron?
RubyMars: Aaron?
RubyMars: Are you there?
RubyMars: AARON?
AHall80: You’re not the only one who couldn’t breathe or type.
RubyMars: LMAO I’m crying.
AHall80: me too
AHall80: me too
RubyMars: I mean… you can tell me if your butt hurts too, I guess.
AHall80: Ruby, stop
RubyMars: Seriously. You can tell me. I won’t judge.
RubyMars: It happens.
RubyMars: I think.
AHall80: Stop
RubyMars: I can’t breathe
AHall80: I don’t know when the last time I laughed so hard was.
AHall80: Everyone is looking at me wondering wtf happened.
RubyMars: Your rectum happened
AHall80: BYE
RubyMars: I can’t stop laughing
AHall80: You’re never hearing from me again
RubyMars: There are tears coming out of my eyes.
AHall80: Bye. I’ll write you again when I find my balls.
RubyMars: It was nice knowing you.
AHall80: BYE
”
”
Mariana Zapata (Dear Aaron)
“
In one city, a famous gangster robbed a bank of a thousand pounds and spent the whole lot on Wonka bars that same afternoon. And when the police entered his house to arrest him, they found him sitting on the floor amidst mountains of chocolate, ripping off the wrappers with the blade of a long dagger.
”
”
Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
“
Yes, being a vegan is about living a healthier happier lifestyle. But it’s also about being a spiritually evolved person who is invested more in the nurturing of life than in the perversion of life. We can get all of the nutrition we need and more from the utilization of plants. Therefore people are eating animals for pleasure and not for nutritional necessity. It is uncivilized to be killing sentient beings and eating their flesh for pleasure. And it’s even more uncivilized to be rejoicing in that and normalizing it like it’s okay. There must be some super advanced aliens out there looking at earth like wtf are these humans doing.
”
”
Hendrith Vanlon Smith Jr. (Principles of a Permaculture Economy)
“
You don't know now and after and before who has watched you and who is watching you and who will continue doing that.
”
”
Deyth Banger
“
My mother looked at me, her long turquoise nail on the lift button. “Darling, I do hope, since you haven’t yet found a lover, that you’re masturbating regularly, as I suggested.
”
”
Tanith Lee (The Silver Metal Lover)
“
Life’s too short to worry about that shit. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W.T.F.
”
”
Dominique Mondesir (Beware the Dog (Junkyard Dogs #1))
James Joyce (Selected Letters of James Joyce)
“
When you focus, you can achieve anything. If you have no focus, you will achieve nothing.
”
”
David Clark (WTF!: Life Is Not Always What It Seems)
“
My bullshit was that I adore you and I don't have fingers or eyes how to deal with it.
”
”
Rick Shapiro
“
I wished for death," he whispered, and the words took the smile from both our lips.
His gaze met mine again, this time it was earnest and beseeching. "I knew I could not leave you behind, so I planned to kill you first. I could not. I sat here with the pistol at your head for a long time. I thought of...how much you loved me, that you would make such a request, and...I could not. So I am chained here in this life, with you." He shook his head quickly. "Non, that did not sound as it should. I...will not betray you by leaving you alone, and I cannot take you with me, so I will remain, because I love you.
”
”
W.A. Hoffman (Matelots (Raised By Wolves, #2))
“
Well, she’d chosen this. She’d chosen to live by the beach, as if she had as much right as anyone else. She could reward herself for two hours’ work with a walk on the beach. A walk on the beach in the middle of the day. She could go back to Blue Blues, buy a coffee to go and then take an arty photo of it sitting on a fence with the sea in the background and post it on Facebook with a comment: Work break! How lucky am I? People would write, Jealous! If she packaged the perfect Facebook life, maybe she would start to believe it herself. Or she could even post, Mad as hell!! Ziggy the only one in the class not invited to a birthday party!! Grrrrr. And everyone would write comforting things, like, WTF? and Awwww. Poor little Ziggy! She could shrink her fears down into innocuous little status updates that drifted away on the news feeds of her friends.
”
”
Liane Moriarty (Big Little Lies)
“
John Gall wrote, “A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. The inverse proposition also appears to be true. A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be made to work. You have to start over beginning with a working simple system.
”
”
Tim O'Reilly (WTF?: What's the Future and Why It's Up to Us)
“
1) Levophed—a common blood pressure medication. Used to be called “leave ’em dead” because people used it for the sickest of the sick in sepsis and those patients still frequently died, but it has now come back into favor. We were maxed. 2) Vasopressin—another BP med. Not titratable. Left on normal dose. 3) Phenylephrine, aka Neo, from its brand name, Neosynephrine—another BP med—maxed. Pharmacy was mixing higher concentrations of this for us, so that we could give it in less fluid volume for the patient’s sake. 4) Sodium Bicarb—also high-concentrated dose for fluid reasons—given to attempt to combat patient’s acidosis. 5) Fentanyl—pain control—not maxed. 6) Versed—an amnesiac—hopefully makes you “less aware” of WTF is happening to you. Also not maxed, because they were also on…. 7) Nimbex—a paralytic we give to patients to make them “ride the vent” so that they don’t fight it and can save energy, as the vent does the work of breathing for them. 8) Heparin—blood thinner, to reduce the clotting that covid can cause. 9) Amiodarone—heart med, stops arrhythmias. 10) Insulin—which requires hourly insulin checks to titrate effectively. Unfortunately, many covid patients are also on steroids, which means their blood sugars fluctuate all over the place.
”
”
Cassandra Alexander (Year of the Nurse: A Covid-19 Pandemic Memoir)
“
The story of Yoshitsune and the Thousand Cherry Tres was both simple and complicated. Simple in that things never change: people consistently jealous or secretive or brave-hearted. As for the rest, it all came down to a series of misunderstandings, the type that could happen to anyone, really. You assume that the sushi bucket is full of gold coins, but instead it's got Kokingo's head in it. You think you know everything about your faithful follower, but it turns out that he's actually an orphaned fox who can change his shape at will. It was he who spoke my favorite line of the evening, five words that perfectly conveyed just how enchanting and full of surprises this Kabuki play really is: 'That drum is my father.
”
”
David Sedaris
“
We built something, we get feedback, we try to figure out what make sense out of the suggestions, and then we do something about it and then we listen some more.” That is a great description of how Internet software is typically built today, with what is now called a “build-measure-learn” cycle, in which the users of a minimally useful service teach its creators what they want from them.
”
”
Tim O'Reilly (WTF?: What's the Future and Why It's Up to Us)
“
Alice's Cutie Code TM Version 2.1 - Colour Expansion Pack
(aka Because this stuff won’t stop being confusing and my friends are mean edition)
From Red to Green, with all the colours in between (wait, okay, that rhymes, but green to red makes more sense. Dang.)
From Green to Red, with all the colours in between
Friend Sampling Group: Fennie, Casey, Logan, Aisha and Jocelyn
Green
Friends’ Reaction: Induces a minimum amount of warm and fuzzies. If you don’t say “aw”, you’re “dead inside”
My Reaction: Sort of agree with friends minus the “dead inside” but because that’s a really awful thing to say. Puppies are a good example. So is Walter Bishop.
Green-Yellow
Friends’ Reaction: A noticeable step up from Green warm and fuzzies. Transitioning from cute to slightly attractive. Acceptable crush material. “Kissing.”
My Reaction: A good dance song. Inspirational nature photos. Stuff that makes me laugh. Pairing: Madison and Allen from splash
Yellow
Friends’ Reaction: Something that makes you super happy but you don’t know why. “Really pretty, but not too pretty.” Acceptable dating material. People you’d want to “bang on sight.”
My Reaction: Love songs for sure! Cookies for some reason or a really good meal. Makes me feel like it’s possible to hold sunshine, I think. Character: Maxon from the selection series. Music: Carly Rae Jepsen
Yellow-Orange
Friends’ Reaction: (When asked for non-sexual examples, no one had an answer. From an objective perspective, *pushes up glasses* this is the breaking point. Answers definitely skew toward romantic or sexual after this.)
My Reaction: Something that really gets me in my feels. Also art – oil paintings of landscapes in particular. (What is with me and scenery? Maybe I should take an art class) Character: Dean Winchester. Model: Liu Wren.
Orange
Friends’ Reaction: “So pretty it makes you jealous. Or gay.”
“Definitely agree about the gay part. No homo, though. There’s just some really hot dudes out there.”(Feenie’s side-eye was so intense while the others were answering this part LOLOLOLOLOL.) A really good first date with someone you’d want to see again.
My Reaction: People I would consider very beautiful. A near-perfect season finale. I’ve also cried at this level, which was interesting.
o Possible tie-in to romantic feels? Not sure yet.
Orange-Red
Friends’ Reaction: “When lust and love collide.” “That Japanese saying ‘koi no yokan.’ It’s kind of like love at first sight but not really. You meet someone and you know you two have a future, like someday you’ll fall in love. Just not right now.” (<-- I like this answer best, yes.) “If I really, really like a girl and I’m interested in her as a person, guess. I’d be cool if she liked the same games as me so we could play together.”
My Reaction: Something that gives me chills or has that time-stopping factor. Lots of staring. An extremely well-decorated room. Singers who have really good voices and can hit and hold superb high notes, like Whitney Houston. Model: Jasmine Tooke. Paring: Abbie and Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow
o Romantic thoughts? Someday my prince (or princess, because who am I kidding?) will come?
Red (aka the most controversial code)
Friends’ Reaction: “Panty-dropping levels” (<-- wtf Casey???).
“Naked girls.” ”Ryan. And ripped dudes who like to cook topless.”
“K-pop and anime girls.” (<-- Dear. God. The whole table went silent after he said that. Jocelyn was SO UNCOMFORTABLE but tried to hide it OMG it was bad. Fennie literally tried to slap some sense into him.)
My Reaction: Uncontrollable staring. Urge to touch is strong, which I must fight because not everyone is cool with that. There may even be slack-jawed drooling involved. I think that’s what would happen. I’ve never seen or experienced anything that I would give Red to.
”
”
Claire Kann (Let's Talk About Love)
“
I ceased the search to listen again, what the problem was. What’s going on at home? Why was Luccas calling out Jane’s name? What happened? Why could I hear him without connecting directly to him? I shook my head, but screams pierced through. I moved the shelf on its side, a loud crashing that startled the men outside. Falling to my knees, I covered my ears to them. My head banged against the metal and stayed there. “What in the name of Hera am I going to do?” I asked the air. The screams stopped but for how long? How long would silence be until they resumed? I raised my head, gently pulling my hands away and listened. Silence. Where were the men chasing me? Did they give in and go home? No, that would have been too easy. Saain would slay each man for leaving a traitor alive.
”
”
Millicent Ashby (The Silver Cross (Demon-Gods War, #2))